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What You MUST Know About The Clitoris!

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An orgasm for a woman usually comes via the clitoris – so if you want to give her the big “O”, here’s what you need to know about her most sensitive spot.

Everyone worth his erotic salt knows that it’s all about the clit. It’s that tiny well-spring of pleasure that is so difficult to pinpoint. Every man wants to become the master of the clit. However, conquering that miniscule bulb over a woman’s vagina can be such an impossible task.

The Similarities Between The Penis And The Clitoris

Your penis is very straight forward: you touch it, it gets hard; you touch it more, and you orgasm. The reason it is so easy is that everything you need to work with is right in front of you. That is not so with a woman’s genitalia. The little bulb you see when you’re looking at it straight on is only a small portion of what makes up the clit. Most of it is internal, which is why it is so hard to figure out.

The appearance of the clitoris as a whole is quite similar to the penis; it’s just mostly on the inside. It is reminiscent in shape and function as it has both a shaft and erectile tissue. What most people think of as the clitoris is actually just the head or glans of the clitoris. If you look closely at it, the glans does bear resemblance to the head of a man’s penis, only significantly smaller. Despite its size, the head of the clit houses twice as many nerves as does the penis – which is why her orgasms are much, much better than yours.

How It’s Different

When a woman is not stimulated, the clitoris appears internally like a flaccid penis does externally. Upon arousal, it becomes engorged and erect, actually hardening like a man’s penis. The head pushes against the clitoral hood, which is homologous to a man’s foreskin. The head can be incredibly sensitive, and the clitoral hood protects it from irritation. This is particularly important if a woman is not properly stimulated, as the sebum produced by the body is what protects the clit during intercourse.

However similar in appearance the clitoris is to the penis, it reacts quite differently to stimulation. It’s easy to stimulate a penis to ejaculation. You just need to touch it. However, the clit is not an on/off switch. If you attempt to stimulate the clit before she is adequately aroused, you’re going to end up irritating her more than arousing her. In which case, it’s all over for you, pal.

Q&A: BDSM & Rape Fantasies – How To Make Them Safe And Fun

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BDSM and rape fantasies can be fun when no one gets hurt. Real rape is no joke – if you want to engage in this type of fantasy, it needs to be between consenting adults who are comfortable with pushing the boundaries. Here’s how to indulge in your BDSM fantasy without going too far.

Question: Hey guys, I am a BDSM master. I’ve had a lot of people ask me about rape fantasy sex with their partner. I’ve told them, just like an BDSM act, it has to be discussed beforehand and have a safe word chosen. Would you please do a video on this subject? Thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV4jvsT8Wgk&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

What Is A Rape Fantasy?

A rape fantasy, in the right context, is actually just a domination/submission role play game. Some people enjoy being dominant over their partners while others enjoy being submissive. When you have a couple where one partner wants to dominate the other and the other enjoys being dominated, you can have a lot of fun with BDSM play.

Domination and submission is actually incredibly popular, although a lot of it stays underground for fear of being judged on sexual preferences. Rape is forced sex, and a rape fantasy is where you pretend to force someone to have sex or pretend that you’re being forced to have sex. It can be fun and enjoyable if it’s under the right circumstances and safe for everyone involved.

Communicate With Your Partner

While communication during sex is important no matter what you’re doing, it becomes essential when you’re doing something that is so far towards the edge of what is okay and what isn’t okay. You want to make sure you’re on the same page with your partner about what crosses the line and what doesn’t, because if the line is crossed, someone can get hurt, even if neither partner meant for it to happen.

Talk to your partner about what is okay and how far you can go, while also discussing where you don’t want to go and how far is too far. Talk about it beforehand – don’t wait until you’re doing it to say “Hey, I’m not sure I like that.” You and your partner both need to know exactly what you can do and what you can’t do before you ever get started. This is one of those situations where you don’t push the envelope past what you and your lover previously agreed to.

Also, make sure you’re with someone you trust. You don’t want to be acting out a BDSM rape fantasy with someone you just met at a club – because it very well could turn into real rape or you could get hurt. Make sure you and your lover both know and trust each other well before engaging in any activity of this nature.

Come Up With A Safe Word And Gesture

During any BDSM act, it is important to have a safe word or gesture prepared in case one partner wants the play to stop immediately. If it hurts, or you’re getting scared and just aren’t into it anymore, it’s important that you have a word you can say that lets your lover know that all play needs to stop right then and there. A safe word is something you don’t say very often, especially not in the bedroom.

“Stop!” or “No, don’t, that hurts!” are very bad safe words, because for doms and subs, this type of language is actually erotic. A safe word can be anything like, “purple pony,” “fried tomatoes,” or “Troy Aikman” – anything that you wouldn’t normally use in a sexual conversation is perfect. That way, your partner knows you want to stop ASAP.

A safe gesture is also a good thing to decide on before trying out a rape fantasy, especially if you and your partner enjoy using gags of any kind. A gag will prevent someone from speaking, so although they may be shouting “purple pony!” to try to get you to stop, it may only come out as gargled moans – which can be erotic if you’re a dom. So choose a safe gesture as well. It could be flipping the bird or the Vulcan salute – anything that can’t be confused with random movement of the hands. If your partner sees you make the gesture, they need to stop immediately, just as they would with a safe word.

How Do You Get Started With A Rape Fantasy?

Even if you’re experienced in the world of BDSM, it’s generally not a good idea to jump right into a rape fantasy. This is definitely something you want to start slow with, and work your way up. Start with some light domination, or a little bit of bondage and then gradually work your way up to more bondage and restraint, while adding in sexual language that is suggestive of pretend forced sex. You can also find your boundaries this way – going slow and working your way up to bigger things will allow you to find out if you’re comfortable with something or not before really diving head first into it.

What To Do If It Goes Too Far

Even though you’re just pretending, it can be really easy for a rape fantasy to go too far, too quickly. Don’t ever be afraid to use your safe word or gesture, and don’t be afraid to stop. Don’t think that your partner likes it so you should keep going – if YOU don’t like it or it’s hurting YOU, it’s important that you stop the play right away! You can always try again later if you really want to.

If your partner uses the safe word, make sure you’re the one stopping. That’s where trust comes in during BDSM and rape fantasies – you have to trust that your partner will stop immediately if the safe word is used and your partner has to trust that you’ll do the very same.

Real Rape Is No Joke

Although it’s perfectly fine to enact rape fantasies and play pretend when you’re with a partner you trust, real rape is not a joke! It doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, gay, straight, male or female – if you’re forcing someone else to have sex or sexual contact against their will, it is rape! If you have fantasies or feelings about actually raping someone against their will, talk to a counselor. Seek help, because these are not safe or natural feelings to have. You could hurt yourself or someone else, and get in a lot of trouble in the process. If you’ve flirted with the idea of actually raping someone, talk to a counselor right away!

The 3 Phases Of Oral Sex You MUST Know!

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Oral sex isn’t just going down there and getting your lick/suck on however you like. You can’t just head south and expect her to be able to have an orgasm just from you putting your mouth down there and moving it around for awhile. There’s some technique involved and if you REALLY want to rock her world and give her sheet soaking, earth shattering orgasms, you need to learn these three phases of oral sex TONIGHT!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-ME3DvfM9w&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

What Are The Three Phases Of Great Oral Sex?

While a man may think that he can just jump in and give a girl oral sex and get her off just by moving his mouth around down there, it’s just not true. Sure, girls love it, but there’s a certain way to do it if you really want to make it incredible for her. The best way to bring her to a knee weakening orgasm through oral sex is to move through the different phases of it:

Teasing

Teasing is very important to get a woman warmed up. Even though oral sex is considered foreplay, you need to lead up to it too with a little teasing before fully going down on her. Start slowly and softly. Instead of rushing in to lick her clitoris, start by slowly kissing the insides of her thighs. As you get closer and closer to her vagina, breathe softly on it. Brush your lips against her clitoris lightly enough to tickle her.

When she’s fully aroused and ready for you to get down to business, her clitoris is going to be erect. You may also notice her breathing get a little heavier or that she’s bucking her hips against you, begging for more stimulation. When you sense that she is ready, it’s time to move on to the next step.

Variety

The variety phase is an essential component to great oral sex, because women need variety. Even if you’re using a particular technique that she seems to like really well, it can get tiring after a little while and she may become desensitized to it. Doing different things and experimenting with different techniques is important to get her to climb closer and closer to orgasm.

As you try different things, watch her reactions to them. Gauge her body language to see what she really enjoys and responds best too, as well as other techniques that she seems to like okay, but they don’t really push her hot buttons. Here are some great examples of different moves to try to find out which ones she craves:

  • Thrust your tongue inside her vagina.
  • Use different tongue strokes on the clitoris.
  • Suck gently on her clitoris.
  • Insert your finger in her vagina while licking her clitoris.

Orgasm

When her breathing becomes even heavier and it feels like she’s about to lose control, she’s heading into the orgasm phase of oral sex. When you sense that she is getting close, presumably because you found an oral sex technique that she really responds to, the most important thing is to keep doing what you’re doing. This is not the time that you want to switch up and try a new technique to see if she likes it even better – you may actually ruin her orgasm if you do that. Whatever you find that she likes, that’s what you want to do as she goes through the orgasm phase.

You can start going a little faster and a little harder as she gets closer and closer to climax, so long as you continue to do the same thing. Communicate with her though, and make sure she’s liking what you’re doing. She may not want you to go faster or harder – she may like what you’re doing exactly the way you’re doing it. Encourage her to communicate with you and if you do something that she likes and she knows will make her orgasm, have her say, “Don’t stop!”

Ladies, it’s not up to your guy to read your mind. If you like what he’s doing, be sure and tell him not to do anything else! Or you may end up being disappointed if he misreads your signals and tries to use a different technique just as you’re about to climax.

Have Fun With It

One of the most important aspects of oral sex – for a girl or a guy – is enthusiasm. When you go down on someone and you’re not really into it, they can tell – immediately. So above all, have fun with it! Show your partner you enjoy it and you like pleasing them!

How To Be The Most Confident Lover She’s Ever Had

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Sex is something men love.  That’s hardly news. But what is the difference between getting it on and having the best intercourse ever? Use your brain. Yes, that is the answer. Your brain is the greatest powerful sex organ you have. Thinking about intercourse and understanding what you like is an important but commonly overlooked, step in being great at sex.

When Sex Is More Than Just Doin’ It

Men tend to react simply and physically to arousal: “I see a hot girl. I want to have sex with the hot girl.” Transforming that into mind blowing intercourse means getting to know yourself, and I don’t just mean manually. Understand who you are as a sexual being. These days, men are bombarded with sexual imagery. Porn is readily available. Half-naked girls are constantly bouncing across your TV screen and through the pages of magazines. As a result, men tend to take their sexual cues from outside sources. While new ideas are always welcome, it is important to explore the real reasons behind your arousals, and thrilling ways to satisfy them.

Expand Your Ideas About Sex

Let’s take the hot girl from before. You already know you want to get it on with her, but what is that going to look like? Ask yourself some questions:

  • How do you want to touch her?
  • How do you want her to touch you?
  • What are you hoping to achieve during your encounter (besides orgasm)?

What Turns You On?

Understand what turns you on and why, and learn how to communicate it. Being great at sex works in both your favors. For example, if you love performing oral sex, your partner has the benefit of being in bed with someone who is completely engrossed in the task at hand. She may reach orgasm several times before you’re done. However, if that is something you’re not into, your partner will sense it, and that is uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Getting to know yourself sexually is valuable in understanding your own comfort zone. The kinkiest of kink may be intriguing on screen, but that doesn’t mean it translates well into real life. Understanding your sexual boundaries and how to communicate them to your partner will help you avoid unsatisfying encounters.

The brain is a powerful organ. Your body only reacts the way the brain instructs. When you understand the satisfaction of the intercourse you’re having in your mind, you can bring it to the bedroom. You will be a more self assured with sex, allowing you to satisfy both yourself and your partner better than ever.

Auto Cunnilingus – Can Women Lick Their Own Clitoris?

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Auto cunnilingus is where women bend forward enough to give themselves oral sex – but can they really do this? You’ve seen contortionists on television and in movies bend ways you didn’t even imagine they could, but can flexible women actually go down on themselves? Is it even possible?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dmu6_CgGUk&feature=related[/youtube]

What Is Auto Cunnilingus?

Auto cunnilingus is the act of a woman bending forward far enough to reach their tongue to their clitoris and licking it as a form of female masturbation. It sounds difficult to do – and it is! Very few women are able to do this! Some men can give themselves oral sex too – this is called auto fellatio. With auto fellatio, a man will bend forward far enough to suck on his own penis. Very rarely if ever is a man who can do this able to actually give himself a full on blowjob. What usually happens is the man sucks on the head of his penis while he masturbates the shaft with his hand.

It is much harder for women to give themselves oral sex, simply because they have to bend down a lot farther to reach their own clitoris. While you won’t see many people engaging in self oral sex, you’ll see that there are far less women who are able to do it than men who can.

Can A Woman Really Stretch That Far?

While it is possible for a woman to be flexible enough to bend far enough forward that she can reach her vagina with her mouth, it is very rare indeed. Very few women can actually do this and if they can, it’s usually because they’ve had some sort of gymnastics training and have had lots of practice with flexibility or are a contortionist, who bend their bodies to extreme angles for entertainment.

Women who can give themselves auto cunnilingus can usually only go down on themselves for a few seconds, possibly up to a minute or two. Certainly not long enough to give themselves an orgasm without additional masturbation with their fingers or a sex toy.

The most common sex position for auto cunnilingus is lying on the back with the hands under the buttocks. The woman can lean her neck and head forward, while using her arms to push her bottom towards her head. Also, a woman may find it easier if she has someone to help her with bending. It may be easier for her to relax her body and focus on reaching the clitoris while a partner sits behind her and gently pushes her bottom forward.

Can Women Learn To Be That Flexible?

It’s possible for women who aren’t able to lick their own clitoris to learn how to do it, but it requires some real motivation. Generally, it’s not something that you can try once or twice and be able to do – it takes years of practice to be able to train your body to be that flexible. It’s not easy, and it’s not going to happen quickly. You generally have to be fit to begin with, and training your body to stretch that much takes time and patience. Even contortionists and trained gymnasts have to work very hard to be able to stretch that much.

If you’d like to learn how to stretch like that, take it slow. Start with small stretches and work your way up. Don’t push yourself too hard – you could really end up hurting yourself! Take your time – since this isn’t something that is going to happen right away, it’s important that it’s something you really want to be able to do.

A Word Of Caution

Bending the body to such extreme angles like with auto cunnilingus can be dangerous. Most people’s bodies are not designed to stretch that much or contort into those types of extreme positions. While trained gymnasts, extremely flexible people and contortionists may be able to get into these types of positions without hurting themselves, it’s likely that your average gal trying to do this may end up with a sprain or a stretched or torn ligament.

Before you attempt to try giving yourself oral sex, make sure that you are well aware that you can do some serious damage to your muscles, joints and tendons if you’re not careful. Make sure you’re fit and healthy enough to try and if it hurts a lot, stop!