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Losing My Erection – Help!

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Erectile dysfunction affects a lot of men, all over the world. But that doesn’t mean that these men and their partners have to suffer with unsatisfying sex lives. There are ways to get around erectile dysfunction, depending on what the cause is. Here’s how to find out what is causing your problems with getting and keeping erections – and how to get rid of them so you and your partner can have better sex!

Hey Dan and Jenn – I have a problem! Whenever I attempt to have sex with my girlfriend, I always lose my erection. It’s very embarrassing for me and her because she thinks its because im not attracted to her. What is the reason for this?!!!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKNyinNqEks&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Physical Causes For Erectile Dysfunction

First, it’s important to consider and rule out physical things that may be responsible for or are contributing to your inability to get an erection. There are many physical causes for ED, including but not limited to:

  • Overweight
  • Inactive
  • Diabetes
  • Heart Disease

Generally speaking, the healthier and more active you are, the less likely you are to have erection problems. If you aren’t in good health or live a sedentary lifestyle, there is more of a chance that you will experience the inability to get or maintain an erection at some point. The same applies if you use recreational drugs or abuse alcohol. If the latter applies to you, start eliminating things in your life that might be contributing to your ED, one at a time.

If you drink excessively or smoke, quit. If you’re not active, start taking short walks around your home or office and make a commitment to eating more nutritionally rich foods. If your body is healthy and has what it needs, it is more likely that it will perform well in all areas of your life, including sex.

When To See The Doctor

If you live an active lifestyle, are healthy and don’t use any recreational drugs or overdo it on the alcohol and are still experiencing erectile dysfunction, it’s time to make an appointment with your doctor. Your doctor can help rule out more serious problems that could be responsible.

Emotional Causes For Erectile Dysfunction

There are just as many, if not more, emotional reasons for erectile dysfunction as there are physical. Stress from work or your family is a huge reason you may be experiencing ED, and other factors such as depression and anxiety can contribute as well. Stress, depression and anxiety can cause all kinds of problems in your life, including ED or even trouble reaching orgasm.

Even if anxiety or depression isn’t the cause of your erection problems, the medications for these issues (and other medications as well) can also contribute to impotency and orgasm problems.

How To Trace It Back To The Root

Although there are dozens of different things that can cause or contribute to ED, you can most likely find your answer by thinking about what you started doing differently when you started experiencing erection problems. Did you just start a new medication? Did you lose your job or did a close friend or family member pass away? Thinking back to what was going on in your life at the time is probably the biggest indicator of the true cause of your impotency.

Is It Her?

If you’ve exhausted all of your other options and you’re still having problems with impotency, consider the possibility that your partner may actually be the cause of your issues. For example, if you’re currently having relationship problems or if you caught her cheating on you in the past, your subconscious may be recoiling from her during sex and this may be causing you to have problems getting or keeping an erection during sex with her.

Basically, any unresolved issue you have with your partner may manifest itself as stress and carry over to the bedroom. You may also be suffering from performance anxiety – if you’re trying desperately to please her and are worried that your performance isn’t going to measure up, you’re not going to be able to maintain a rock hard erection.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re healthy, active and aren’t having any relationship problems with your partner, just relax a little and remember that sex is all about having fun and having a great time with someone you care about and who cares about you. If you stress out too much about it, you’re going to make your issue worse instead of better! Relax and have fun!

Anal Sex, Enemas & Colonics – What You Need To Know

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Anal sex always looks so clean in porn films – but you know from what comes out of there, it can’t be that clean, right? Well, it can be if you do a little preparation beforehand. Make anal sex cleaner with an enema or a colonic, but be careful – you can do more harm than good if you don’t research what you’re doing thoroughly before you do it. Here’s what you need to know about enemas and colonics, before you get started!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7r5Qcmwens&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

If You Play In The Mud, You Might Get Dirty

The hard truth about anal sex is that you can get dirty doing it – quite literally. The anus is designed to excrete fecal matter, and during anal sex (either with a penis or with a sex toy), fecal matter can get on you and your partner during thrusting. Unfortunately, there are very few ways around this and if you have watched a lot of porn that features anal play, you may have gotten the illusion that anal sex is clean when it really isn’t.

Why Don’t Porn Flicks Ever Show Feces?

Unless it’s a really, let’s say interesting fetish film, a porn isn’t going to show fecal matter on camera during any kind of anal play, whether it be penetration, fingering or analingus. Why is this? How do porn directors and actors show perfectly clean anal sex when we all know very well that it can get very, very dirty? Most porn stars do a little preparation before a shoot to make sure their intestinal tract is completely cleaned out. They often use an enema or a colonic to clean themselves out, so everything stays clean during filming.

What Is An Enema?

An enema is a procedure that involves squirting liquid up the rectum and into the bowels to stimulate them to excrete waste rapidly. Most of the time, only plain water is used during this procedure but other concoctions can be used as well, such as saline. This procedure is often used to clear the lower part of the intestinal tract for medical procedures or in cases of constipation, but it is also a popular way to get ready for anal sex since an enema can usually be performed at home.

What Is A Colonic?

A colonic is similar to an enema because it does involve pumping liquid into the rectum, but during this procedure, the liquid and the fecal matter are physically removed from the bowels using a tube. This is a much deeper, more thorough cleaning of the colon and intestinal tract, but it must be performed in a physician’s office by a licensed practitioner – this is not something you can do at home! It is also not recommended that you have this done right before having sex. An enema cleans only the lower part of the colon, but a colonic actually goes in quite a bit further to get rid of more waste.

Should You Use Either Procedure Before Anal Sex?

Deciding whether or not to use an enema or a colonic to get ready for anal sex is entirely up to you. It’s all about the personal preferences of you and your sexual partner(s). If they don’t mind a little fecal matter here and there and you don’t either, don’t worry about it.

You don’t have to put yourself through uncomfortable and possibly very expensive procedures to get ready for anal play if you and your partner really don’t care one way or the other! Remember that if you do choose to have an enema or a colonic done, you need to follow all directions to make sure you don’t do more harm than good.

Alternatives To These Procedures

If you want anal sex to be clean but the idea of having an enema or a colonic really freaks you out, you’re not at the end of the road. There are other ways you can clean yourself out too!

  • Go to the bathroom before sex. If you haven’t eaten a heavy meal, this may be all you need to get sparkling clean for your partner.
  • Wear a condom. This way, your partner doesn’t get fecal matter on his penis but you can both enjoy having anal sex. The condom slips right off and can be thrown in the trash without another glance.
  • Use an at home laxative. There are lots of over the counter laxatives that are available and can be used easily at home if you follow all the directions.
  • Use lube. With anal sex, lube is a must. The delicate tissues of the anus can tear and bleed if lube isn’t used. Don’t risk it! Lube is cheap and easy to get. There’s no reason not to!

How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

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In sex ed, they don’t tell you how to figure out your sexual orientation. And when you’re a teenager, there are tons of sexual hormones that are taking over your body – one minute you can be feeling one way and the next minute you can be feeling the exact opposite. It can be hard to tell what your true sexual orientation is when so many emotions are going through you. How do you know if you’re really and truly gay, straight, bisexual or anything in between?

For about two years, I’ve contimplated weather or not I’m bi-sexual, and I’ve been feeling like I am a lot more now than I have in the past. I’m sort of freaked out by all this and I was wondering if you could explain some of this stuff. I’m fifteen and living with two old school catholics – so let’s just say I can’t go to the parents on this one, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RvJdlQyS6A&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

What Is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is simply the recognition that one can be physically and emotionally to more than one gender. Many people assume that if you have sex with a member of the same gender that it automatically makes you gay or bisexual, but this isn’t true. You don’t have to have had sex at all – with anyone – or you can have had sex with both genders.

You can also be gay but have only had sex with members of the opposite sex, and vice versa. On the other hand, having a sexual encounter with someone of the same gender doesn’t make you gay or bisexual. Your sexual orientation doesn’t depend at all on who you’ve been to bed with!

What Do You Really Fantasize About?

What does determine your sexual orientation is what governs your sexual fantasies. Are you a guy who is sleeping with with women but keeps dreaming about giving a great blowjob to a guy? Are you a girl who is having sex with guys but secretly wish you were with a girl instead? If this is the case, you might want to consider that possibility that you are gay or bisexual.

Leaning One Way Or The Other

If you’re bisexual, it doesn’t mean that you have to be attracted physically and emotionally to men and women equally. Lots of people lean one way or the other – a man who is bisexual may prefer women but sometimes enjoy men, or a woman may really enjoy being with another women but think being with a man sexually is okay too.

Questions To Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure about what your sexual orientation really is, you can ask yourself some questions to dig deeper within yourself and find out what really defines your sexuality.

  • Do you feel attracted to both genders?
  • Are you attracted to men and to women sexually and emotionally?
  • Do you think about having sex with a woman when you’re with a man or vice versa?
  • Do you enjoy looking at both men and women sexually?
  • Do you believe that either gender could fulfill you emotionally in a relationship?

All In All, It’s Just A Label

What sex ed definitely won’t teach you is that bisexuality, gay, straight, transgender, etc. are all just labels that people put on themselves or put on others. Humans have to label everything – it comes naturally to them to place a label on people, things, ideas, and pretty much everything else they come into contact with.

You don’t have to label yourself at all if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to consider yourself bisexual or gay or straight, then don’t! There are lots of people out there that don’t meet the criteria for gay, straight or even bisexual and are somewhere in the middle – but that’s okay because when it comes to sexuality and sexual orientation, it’s all shades of gray anyways. By labeling everything, we try to make our world black and white, but it just doesn’t happen that way.

You are who you are and you don’t need a label to give yourself permission to be a certain way or enjoy certain things. You don’t have to consider yourself into BDSM just because you like the occasional spanking, or think of yourself as having a urine fetish if you enjoy a golden shower every now and again. When it comes to sex – and anything else – you don’t have to define yourself unless you want to, and it’s not up to anyone else to define you either. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself, and live the way you want to live.

How To Revive A Sexless Marriage In 3 Easy Steps

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More sex with their wives is something every husband wants – especially when the fire has died. After a man and a woman have been married for a long period of time, they naturally grow apart sexually. This can be extremely frustrating, because you’re wondering why the sex just isn’t as good (or why you’re not having it as often) as when you and your partner were younger. Getting back into the swing of things just takes a little work though use these three easy tips to get more nookie with your spouse!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KelFGZpTde0&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Stop Putting Pressure On Her To Have Sex

You’ve done it before – you’re in the mood and you really want to do it with your partner. However, she really doesn’t feel like doing it at all. She may have had a rough day at work, or she may be worrying about other things. She may even use the classic “headache” excuse to let you know that it’s just not something she’s into right now. However, you’re very into it, so you start pressuring her to have sex with you. Sometimes this works, but it usually only gets you a quickie – if you pressure her to do it and she does, she’s basically getting busy with you just to shut you up.

There’s another problem with this though. If she was even the least little bit turned on before you started pressuring her, it went away as soon as you opened your mouth. Even with the best foreplay and the best techniques, if you pressure her, she’s just not going to get or stay very aroused at all. People face enough pressure in their day to day lives with work, school, bills and children that there’s just no reason to bring it into the bedroom too. Give her a break and don’t pressure her or guilt trip her next time you want to have sex. Just resign yourself to a great masturbation session instead.

Learn How To Tease Her To Build Arousal

Instead of making your lover feel obligated to get it on with you, it’s important to make her want it. She does want it, but her libido is buried underneath layers of stress, worry and items on the to-do list. It’s up to you to tease her and peel those layers away to expose the sexual side within her. A quickie can be a good thing, but women don’t always want to “just go do it real quick right now.” Since women take a while to warm up and become aroused, a quickie is just going to be all about you.

Instead, learn to tease your woman and build her arousal. How do you do that?

Flirting. Flirt with her over the phone, in text messages, in emails and in person. This helps you build her anticipation to see you and to be close to you.

Have Fun. Learn to stop taking life so seriously. If you learn to have fun and let go, your partner is generally going to want to be around you more and spend more time with you because your happiness is infectious.

Touch Her. Start touching her all the time, whether you’re sitting next to each other in the car or just having dinner together after work. Place your hand on her leg, brush up against her. This teasing and touching will get her brain in an aroused mode as she begins to anticipate more and more touching later.

Don’t Expect Sex

If you do all of these things with the expectation that she’s going to do it with you at the end of the day, you’ve already blown it. The whole idea here is to do these things just for the sake of doing them, because you enjoy flirting with your partner, touching her and spending time with her. Let her desire for it develop naturally, without her feeling expected or obligated to. She will come to you for sex when she feels ready.

Be Willing To Walk Away

If you’re doing everything possible to build a sexual relationship between you and your spouse, but she doesn’t seem to want to meet you halfway, you may have to realize that this marriage isn’t for you. Give marriage counseling a good, solid try first before you make a final decision to end it with your spouse but everyone deserves to be happy in a relationship and to feel sexually satisfied. If you can’t get fulfillment with your current partner, it may be time to find someone new.

10 Best Places To Have Wild Sex And Really Let Go

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Is your sex life getting lukewarm? If so, you might be wondering how to heat it up – especially if you’ve been in a long term relationship for awhile and things have gotten boring between you and your lover. Instead of doing the same old same old, try moving out of the bedroom and start getting it on in places that allow you to be a little freaky and really let go of you inhibitions. Here are some great locations to get out and about and let it all hang out!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2tPjyFVc4Y[/youtube]

While Blindfolded In A Room Full Of People

If the idea of being watched by others really turns you on, consider having sex in a room full of your closest friends (if they’re open-minded to the idea). However, this is definitely something that you have to be completely okay with before you actually do it – if it really makes you nervous but you still want to try it, don a blindfold before you get it on. You’ll know people are watching you have sex, but you won’t actually have to look at their faces while you’re doing it.

In Front Of Your Hotel Room Window With The Curtains Open

This is another way to indulge in your voyeurism fantasy, but without the stress of having sex in front of a lot of people. Next time you and your lover get a hotel room for the night, throw open the curtains before you get it on. Bonus points if you’re high up enough to get a great view – and let others get a great view of you. Double bonus points if you actually do it up against the window.

A Public Beach In The Middle Of The Day

Having sex on the beach is ultra romantic (except for the sand), but most people who enjoy this choose to do it at night or in the evening, when there are less people on the beach and they are less likely to get caught. Put a new twist on this classic location by finding a public beach to have sex on during the day. Of course, you’re very likely to get caught, but for many people, that’s half the fun! Just make sure you’re not getting busy around any youngsters. A nude beach is more likely to be free of children.

In A Porno Theater Booth

Porn is a great turn on for both men and women, and just watching porn at home with your lover can really give your sex life a boost. However, you can mix it up a little by finding a porno theater booth – found in many sex toy stores around the globe – and getting it on with your lover in there. Don’t be ashamed to bring the Clorox wipes though, because there’s definitely the possibility of coming into contact with other people’s bodily fluids. Enough said.

Fantasy Or Virtual Reality Sex

If you’re the shy type but really like the idea of having kinky sex and getting rid of your inhibitions, use your computer to your advantage. There are tons of websites that offer fantasy or virtual reality sex, where you can create a sexy avatar of yourself and engage in virtual sexual acts with others – including your partner. This is a great way to explore your fantasies and try things you’ve never tried before without actually having to go outside your comfort zone.

In A Room Full Of Mirrors

If you’ve ever wanted to see what you and your lover look like when having sex, the best way to do that is to find a room full of mirrors (sometimes hotels will have this, or you can install mirrors into your own home) and get it on in front of the glass. This allows you and your lover to feel exposed and voyeuristic in a private way. The best sex position to watch yourself in is often doggy style, since it allows you and your partner both to get an eyeful of the action.

In A Public Jacuzzi With Other People

Finding a public jacuzzi to have sex in is a great place to do it in front of other people, without actually letting anyone know what you’re really doing. While you may not actually be able to have intercourse this way, a nice handjob can easily be achieved without anyone knowing what is actually going on!

Oral Sex At A Restaurant Underneath A Table With A Long Tablecloth

Again, if you’re into having public sex but don’t really want to get caught (or if you just want to keep it a sexy secret between you and your lover), try slipping under the table when having dinner at a restaurant to give your partner oral sex. This can actually be very easy to do if the table you’re sitting at has a long tablecloth, and your date can easily use the excuse that you’ve left  the table to use the restroom – that is, if they can manage to get the words out.

While Being Photographed Or Filmed By An Open-Minded Professional

If you’re going to do it in front of someone, why not get a keepsake afterwards? If you’ve ever wanted nice, erotic pictures or a sexy video of you and your partner together, find an open-minded professional that wouldn’t mind helping you out. The finished products are a lot better than what you’ll get if you do it yourself.

At A Swinger Club

If you really want to get wild (and possibly have a threesome or foursome), a swinger club is the place to go. Swinger clubs sound intimidating, but lots of places allow you to do whatever is comfortable for you – whether it’s watching others only, having others watch you or getting a little more frisky. If you have a swinger club in your area, try it out!