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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

How To Deep Throat (Without Gagging)

By loveandsex

Oral sex is incredibly pleasurable for a guy. In fact, it can even be more pleasurable than penetration and intercourse! The best part about oral sex for a guy is feeling a hot, wet mouth all over him – especially when a woman takes his entire penis in her mouth in a deep throat move.

While just about every guy loves deep throating, most girls do not. This is because deep throating often causes a woman to gag – and sometimes even vomit. The gag reflex, however, can be controlled with a little effort and some practice. Here’s how you can deep throat your lover without gagging.

Learn How To Breathe Through Your Nose

When giving a guy a blowjob, it’s important that you learn to breathe through your nose, even when you’re not deep throating. Even a small penis can block the airway from the mouth to the lungs, making it near impossible to breathe through your mouth during a blowjob. This is because your partner’s penis will go into your esophagus when you deep throat, blocking off the passage of air through the windpipe. Instead, learn how to breathe through your nose so the air can go directly from your nose to your lungs, completely bypassing your esophagus.

If you try to breathe through your mouth during a blowjob, you’re much more likely to gag or even vomit. Learning to breathe through your nose during a blowjob and while deep throating is an important skill to have in your oral sex tool belt.

Get Your Throat Parallel To His Penis

A big reason that the gag reflex gets stimulated during a blowjob is because the angle between the mouth and the throat isn’t set up to have a straight penis go in. You can actually overcome this easily by switching sex positions and getting your throat parallel to your lover’s penis.

Usually, the easiest way to do this is to lie on a bed on your back, with your head at the very edge of the bed. Scoot up so your head is basically hanging off the edge of the bed, which puts your mouth and throat in almost a straight line. This will make it much easier for your partner to insert his penis down your throat without rubbing so hard against the top of your throat (which is where the gag reflex is.)

Learn To Relax Your Throat Muscles

Relaxing your throat muscles is essential when it comes to giving your partner a good deep throat. Slowly insert your partner’s penis into your mouth, pushing past your gag reflex and down into your throat. When you feel the urge to gag, work on closing your eyes, breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat muscles.

This isn’t a technique that will come easily – it’s one that must take a lot of practice to really get the hang of it. Your partner probably won’t mind if you want to practice on him though!

Make Sure You’re In Control Of The Thrusting

While having your head hanging off the edge of the bed doesn’t exactly put you in a prime position to control your partner’s thrusting during oral sex, make sure that you at least have your hands on his hips and can guide him in and out of your mouth. If your partner is in complete control over his thrusting during fellatio, you’re much more likely to gag because you can’t control how deep he goes and when.

Trusting Your Partner

Since this type of oral sex can go wrong in so many ways (who wants a lap full of vomit?), it’s important to have a partner that you truly trust and can be open and honest with. Talk with your partner about the level of trust you’re putting in him to allow him to deep throat you, and make sure he agrees not to abuse it by going too hard or too fast without your explicit consent.

Having A Safe “Gesture”

While this type of oral sex is generally safe, you should still consider having a safe “gesture” that will let your partner know to stop immediately. You can’t use words while deep throating, so decide hand signal of some kind before you and your partner get busy. Use the safe “gesture” as though you would a safe word during bondage or kinky sex to let your lover know that you’re uncomfortable, in pain or want to stop for any reason. Make sure that you and your lover are on the same page about stopping whatever is going on immediately if the gesture is used.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, blowjob how to, deep throat, fellatio, oral sex

7 Lovemaking Mistakes That Couples Make And How To Avoid Them

By loveandsex

Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true. Over the years, I’ve seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I’d like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.

Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them?

Mistake #1: Feeling Scared Or Embarrassed About Trying New Things

Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think? Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they’re just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.

And you don’t need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That’s nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring kink and variety to your passionate play that aren’t crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.

Mistake #2: Trying To Convince Your Partner To Have Sex

If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works. On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical ‘adrenaline’ into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy for lovemaking. So here’s how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they’re tired.

Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him a blowjob or a handjob between 9 and­ 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He’ll like that.

Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest ‘turn-ons’ for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck – ­­it will drive her wild. But don’t rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.

MISTAKE #3: Neglecting Foreplay To Enjoy Intercourse Sooner

People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy lovemaking sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms? That’s right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.

So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.) If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they’ll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.

Mistake #4: Using Sex Toys Or Porn To Make Your Lovemaking Better

When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof. Wrong! While sex toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.

Why? Because you don’t want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses’ body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.

Mistake #5: Trying To Make A Woman Orgasm With Penetration Only

Men often feel “unmanly” if they can’t satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can’t achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.

Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there’s no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).

Mistake #6: Trying To Orgasm At The Same Time

Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first. Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.

Mistake #7: Sticking To A “Set Routine”

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar? No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your relationship.

The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal. That’s the secret.

In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even do it  more often.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: foreplay, oral sex, orgasm, sex advice

What Women REALLY Want During Oral Sex

By loveandsex

Oral sex is something almost every woman loves – but many girls can be afraid to tell a man how they truly like it and what they want their guy to do when he’s down there. Next time you go down on your lady love, give her what she truly craves. Here’s what to do to push every single one of your girl’s hot buttons with oral sex and make her melt in your mouth.

Slow And Sensual

Many guys assume that because girls enjoy using vibrators while masturbating that they want their clitoris licked hard and fast. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Giving your partner slow and sensual oral sex is something no vibrator can do – and your lover will enjoy it so much more.

Instead of being tempted to lick quickly, flatten your tongue out and slowly lick her entire vulva from top to bottom, pausing to flick her clitoris or put pressure on it with your tongue. Don’t be in any rush – act like you could be down there all day without batting an eye.

Lick Everywhere

The clitoris is extremely sensitive and when stimulated, it can bring a woman to an incredible, leg shaking orgasm. However, just because this is the most sensitive spot on her vulva, it doesn’t mean that you have to keep your tongue there and only there. A woman secretly wants a man who isn’t afraid to put his tongue everywhere – in every nook and cranny. This is also a great way to get your girl to last longer – you can lick other parts of her vulva while she comes down from the brink of orgasm, after which, you’ll lick her clitoris again to get her close.

Instead of keeping your tongue in one area when going down on your lover, take your tongue and use it to explore every fold down there. Point your tongue and slip it into her vagina, and then lick up and down her labia. When combined with a slow and sensual approach, this will blow your lover’s mind.

Be Enthusiastic And Enjoy It

You don’t like getting a blowjob that seems like a chore for the girl doing it, do you? Of course not, and your girl doesn’t want to get half-ass oral sex either. Even if you’re not totally into it, at least put on a good show and act like you’d rather be doing nothing else in the whole world than bring your partner pleasure with your mouth.

When licking and sucking your partner into orgasmic frenzy, pretend as though you’re savoring something extra delicious. You can use flavored lubes or even dabs of chocolate or caramel sauce to make it more enjoyable for you. Show your lover that you’re totally into it and that you’re enjoying going down on her – not just to give her an orgasm, but because you just enjoy it.

G-Spot Stimulation

A blended orgasm can easily be achieved during oral sex by simply slipping your finger into your partner’s vagina and stimulating her g-spot. Since you’re licking her clitoris and rubbing her g-spot at the same time, she’s much more likely to have a blended orgasm than just a clitoral or g-spot orgasm alone.

Don’t start stimulating her g-spot right away. Give her oral sex for a few minutes first to get her nice and warmed up – this helps make her g-spot much, much easier to find. When you start fingering her, back off from using your tongue for a few minutes while you use your hands. Then, begin to lick her clitoris and stimulate her g-spot at the same time. This technique increases her chances of having a blended orgasm because she has time to feel each sensation individually and then together.

Anal Play

While some women don’t enjoy anal sex at all, others absolutely love it. If your girl enjoys anal sex, try to incorporate a little anal play next time you go down on your lover. You don’t necessarily have to use a sex toy or even a finger for insertion – the nerve endings on the outside of the anus are sensitive enough that licking or touching the outside of the anus during oral sex will send your partner over the moon.

If you’re not averted to trying analingus, make licking her anus part of the “licking everywhere” technique. If you’d rather not put your tongue down there, try simply rubbing it or pushing against it with one of your fingers while you lick her clitoris.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, g spot, oral sex, orgasm

When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?

By loveandsex

Sex ed programs in schools and all over the country can leave a lot to be desired when it comes to learning about sex and when the right time to do it is. How do you know your body is prepared to have sex for the first time? How do you know your body is primed? How do you know that you’re emotionally prepared for it and are prepared to deal with the consequences that having sex (even protected) can sometimes bring? Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you really are prepared – or if you should wait.

Question: I feel ready to have sex. I know it and I have no doubts about it. So emotionally, I’m more than OK. But physically, when is the right age for a woman to have sex? I got my period 2 years ago and I am WELL informed on birth control and STD’s. I even know how to put on a condom.

–YouTube Viewer

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Being Emotionally Ready For Sex

It’s easy to think you’re emotionally prepared for it because this is something that pretty much every sex ed program in the country doesn’t discuss. In fact, with the far majority of sex ed programs discussing how to say “no” and the benefits of abstinence, very few of them actually do approach the topic of when the right time actually is.

There are many consequences that having sex can bring, and thinking through the consequences before actually doing it is an important part of becoming emotionally prepared to do it for the first time.

Thinking Through The Consequences

Before you make the decision to have sex, take some time to imagine the different consequences that could arise from having sex right now. Think about what you might do in a given situation, and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and get on the same page with them about what actions you both would take if one of these situations would arise.

What Will You Do If You Get Pregnant?

Even if you take steps to protect yourself during intercourse (such as using condoms), the risk of an unwanted pregnancy still exists. In fact, even with condoms, spermicide, birth control and pulling out, there still is a tiny, tiny chance that an egg could become fertilized. Having safer sex is all about reducing your risks, however, you must realize that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from it completely.

That said, take some time to think about what would happen if you actually did become pregnant after having sex. What options are available to you? Would you consider abortion, or adoption? Would you consider rearranging your life to raise a baby? Think about the steps you would take if you were to get pregnant so you have a plan of action if the situation would actually come up.

What Will You Do If You Get A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Any sex ed program will tell you – even if you use condoms during sex, it is possible to contract an STD from a partner that is infected. Before committing to have sex, think about what protection you’re going to put into place to reduce your risk of getting an STD. Will you use condoms? Will you get regular STD and HIV testing done? Will you require your partner to have an STD test?

You may also want to do some research on how different STD’s are transmitted and how they are treated. HIV is a very scary disease, but with modern technology and medical treatments, the life expectancy of an HIV positive person is almost that of a healthy person. Some STD’s are treated with antibiotics, while others cannot be “cured.”

What Will You Do If You Break Up With The Person You Lost Your Virginity To?

Condoms and birth control can reduce your risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, however, they can’t reduce the risk you take of not being with the person you lost your virginity to forever. Before committing to taking this step with someone, take some time to think out how you might feel if you end up breaking up with the person you lost your virginity to. Are you going to be emotionally or mentally scarred? Will you be able to move on with your life and still have healthy relationships with others?

When Your Body Lets You Know You’re Ready For Reproduction

This is basic sex ed – a girl’s body is prepared for reproduction when she begins having her period. This simply means that the ovaries are dropping eggs and because they’re unfertilized, a girl has her period and sheds the lining of the uterus. It actually has nothing to do with whether a girl is really prepared for it or not, because just because your body is saying that it is primed to make a baby, doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to go there.

More and more girls are starting to get their periods at a younger age, sometimes even as young as ten or eleven (and in rare cases, even younger than that). This solidifies the fact that just because a girl has started her period, it does not mean she is ready to have sex with a man.

No One Can Decide For You

Remember that deciding to have sex (or not to have sex) is something that only you can decide for yourself. Your parents may not want you to do it yet and your friends may be urging you to do it, but only you and your partner can decide when the right time to have intercourse really is. And even if your partner decides that he’s prepared, the ultimate decision is really up to you and you alone. Don’t let anyone try to take your decision away from you.

Make Sure You’re With The Right Person

While you may feel emotionally and physically ready to have intercourse for the first time, stop and think about if you’re really with the right person. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to lose my virginity to this person?” Make sure your partner is someone that you care deeply about (and who also cares deeply about you) and that they’re someone you can truly trust and depend on. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it, because you could be making a huge mistake.

If you wait until you’re really prepared to have intercourse and you wait until you’re in the right relationship, it is going to be much better and much more rewarding than if you had simply given in to someone you really didn’t care about just to get it over with.

Keep The Laws In Mind

While the last thing you’re probably thinking about is when you’re legally okay to have sex, if you’re younger than eighteen, it’s important to think about the legal aspect of things. Statutory rape is not something your partner wants on his record (if he’s older than you). It’s also something that you don’t want on your record if you’re older than eighteen and your partner is younger. Keep in mind that the legal age to give sexual consent is usually eighteen and is actually seventeen in some states. Play it safe and make sure you’re keeping everything legal.

Get Informed

Don’t assume that your local sex ed program is going to give you all the information you need to know on having intercourse and how to do it safely, especially if the only sex ed program offered in your area is an abstinence only course. Take some time to research the different aspects of sex, how to enjoy it, how to make your partner enjoy it and how to keep it safe, fun and clean. Think about oral and anal sex too, and how to stay safe during those activities too. Remember that knowledge is power.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: first time sex, sex advice, sex education, teen sex

My Girl Stopped Giving Me A Blowjob. What Do I Do?

By dicksinthecity

When it comes to oral sex, my girlfriend was the best. She used to give me a mind-blowing blowjob. Now, oral sex is nonexistent in our sex life. How do I get a blowjob back?

What She Said

A great way to receive is to make sure you’re giving. Have you also dropped the service of your girlfriend’s oral pleasure from the menu? If so, add it back immediately – for numerous reasons!

The Ebb And Flow Of Sex

The sexual heat in relationships often cools after a certain period of time. That’s not to say it’s dissipated, it’s just changed as you grow in intimate relationships. The blowjob is, needless to say, a great way to get to know one another! It’s often one of the early things couples try out together. You can’t blame a gal for wanting to get up close and personal with the goods!

Foreplay Is Key

How is your foreplay? Could it be that the warm-up has waned? A lot of people tend to go straight for the penetration when in long-term situations – whether it be due to time (maybe you have kids or are exhausted from a job that’s kicking your ass) or you know it’s a sure thing (it’s not like you have to worry about getting laid when you have a girlfriend), so why not cut to the chase.

Communicate With Her

Tell your girlfriend you want to revisit the excitement and romance of your early relationship and that you’d like to reintroduce some things into your sex life – for both of you. Be sure to add something for her that you’ve perhaps slacked on. In the end, a brief chat with some fun added incentives will most likely be all you’ll need to, umm, get the ball(s) rolling!

What He Said

Oral sex can disappear for many reasons. Maybe your girl doesn’t like giving a blowjob. Maybe she only does them in the beginning of the relationship. Maybe she’s stressed. Who cares why it happened? You just want to get your blowjob on.

Bring On The Foreplay

I recommend you engage in massive amounts of foreplay: kiss, lick, tease, massage and caress until she just can’t stand it anymore. Then go down on her and make her orgasm at least twice or until you get lockjaw, which ever comes first. Then say “that’s all you get for now” and walk away.

Okay, maybe not literally walkway, but I think you get the point. Make her orgasm until it fries her brain and then slam the breaks on and cuddle. She won’t know what hit her. It will fry her brain in a good way. This sexual interaction won’t follow the protocol her brain is used to.

Challenge Your Partner

Remember, the brain is a computer. If you hand it the same data as always, it will process it the same way it always has. So if you interrupt the pattern it’s used to, she’s bound to do something different. She’ll probably want to molest you. Don’t let her. Make her earn it. Make her feel challenged – women love a challenge (God only knows why. I personally hate challenges. I prefer to have things handed to me on a silver platter, but I digress). I don’t know why, but you can’t make sense of anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die (kidding. Sort of.)

If You Want It, Mean It!

I have a friend who’s a bartender and before he met his wife, he got, TONS of ass. Crazy, boyband ass. The kind of sheer volume of high quality booty that makes porn stars and Justin Timberlake jealous. How did he do it? He would find a girl at the bar he was working who was looking to be taken home. Then he’d get her naked, fool around, get her ready for sex, and then STOP. He’d say “You know what? I’ve been working all night and I’m really tired. I’m going to bed. Maybe we’ll pick this back up in the morning.” And then he would actually go to sleep.

The girls had no idea what to do. He really went to sleep. So eventually, once they figured out it wasn’t a joke, they did to. Guess what? The girls got up early and the second they saw my bartender’s morning wood, they were on it like Charlie Sheen on a coked out porn star.

Why do I bring this up? The key is simple: if you want this to work, you have to mean it. Give her oral sex and then REALLY TRULY STOP. You have to mean it. If you don’t, then it’s just a ploy to get her to give you head. If you do this and you really stop and she gets that you are serious, then you are on the way to getting so much head, you’ll need a Viagra prescription just to keep up with her.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex

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