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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

The Skinny On Female Condoms

By loveandsex

Getting a guy to wear a condom isn’t always easy. Some guys don’t like the feel of condoms, or don’t want to bother buying them. He might not be concerned with safe sex, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be concerned about safe sex either? No way! Ladies can protect themselves by using female condoms and be in control of preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. But what exactly are female condoms and how do you use them? Here’s how female condoms are different from your traditional male condom and how to max out your pregnancy and STD prevention when using them.

What Are Female Condoms?

Female condoms, like their namesake, are condoms that are designed to fit inside the vagina and be used in lieu of a male condom. They consist of a silicone or plastic flexible ring at one end (this is the end designed to go first into the vagina) with a larger ring at the other end of a hollow latex or plastic “tube.” The smaller ring is folded and inserted into the vagina, where it will “pop” open and rest against the cervix, while the larger ring is made to stay outside the vagina and cover the outer opening of the vagina and labia. Some models of female condoms are larger on the outside and will cover the entire vulva including the clitoris, which provides better protection against some sexually transmitted diseases. The vaginal walls are then protected by the “tube” of latex, because the penis will only come into contact with the female condom and not the vagina at all. A man’s sperm will remain inside the female condom and after sex, the condom can be removed easily without spilling the semen.

What Are The Benefits Of Using A Female Condom?

The benefits of using a female condom are simple but powerful. Using a female condom allows a woman to be in complete control of preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Instead of relying on a man to purchase a box of condoms, bring the condoms with him and put them on before sex, a woman can rely on and trust herself to make sure she is protected. In fact, a female condom can even be inserted and worn well before sex even starts, so a woman who chooses to use them can go into sex already protected, making it easier for her to say, “no glove, no love.” Female condoms also help prevent more STD’s than their male counterparts. Since the outer ring covers some or all of the vulva with the latex, it can help prevent the spread of some STD’s like genital warts, genital herpes and pubic lice or crabs.

Are There Disadvantages To Using A Female Condom?

A female condom does not feel as natural as a traditional male condom. There is much more to it and instead of fitting the vaginal wall snugly, it can get a little bunched up in there. This is because a woman’s vaginal canal is flat until something is inserted into it to expand it. Since the “tube” portion of the female condom is hollow, it too will collapse onto itself when there is nothing else in the vagina. During sex, a man’s penis will expand both the vaginal canal and the female condom, but many men and women who have used female condoms report that it still feels like the plastic or latex is bunched up in the vagina. Other disadvantages of a female condom include difficult inserting and removing them from the vagina as well as being thicker than traditional male condoms and blocking more of the pleasurable sensations of friction during sex.

How To Make A Female Condom More Effective

While there is no way to make a female condom more effective at preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, however, by adding spermicide to the inside of a female condom, you can make it more effective at preventing pregnancy. A lot of women who are sensitive to spermicides enjoy using them with female condoms, because the spermicide goes inside the “tube” and never comes into contact with the vagina. Simply squirt a half dollar sized amount of spermicide into the female condom, as close to the smallest ring (the one that will go inside your vagina) as possible. You can do this before inserting the condom inside your vagina, or after. Just remember to also use a good water based lube and plenty of it when using a female condom, whether you use spermicide or not. Lube can help reduce the amount of friction created by the condom and make it feel more like natural sex.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: condoms, safe sex, sex tips

How To Make Sex Better After Baby

By loveandsex

After you have a baby, sex definitely isn’t the same anymore, at least not for awhile. Not only does your body look and feel a little different, there are lots of new things going on in your life too. It’s normal to feel differently towards sex than you did before you gave birth. After feeding, rocking, soothing and burping a new baby all day, honestly, you’re a little touched out. Sex with your partner is probably the last thing on your mind. You may not feel like having sex, but you definitely want to want it. Here’s how you can make sex better after having a baby.

Wait Until Your Doctor Clears You For Sex

You may think you need to get back in the sex game right away, or you may be receiving pressure from your partner to have sex soon after you have the baby. Your partner may pressure you to have sex more so if you didn’t feel much like having sex when you were pregnant. However, there are some rules that you need to follow after having a baby to allow your body to heal and get back to it’s normal, pre-baby state. Waiting to have sex until six to eight weeks after the birth is one of those rules and one that your partner needs to respect. Your doctor will let you know when it’s ok for you to resume a normal sex life, which is usually about six weeks after a vaginal birth and eight weeks after a ceserean section. If you don’t wait the required amount of time, sex may be uncomfortable or painful and you can do much more harm than good. Enjoy your time off from sex and focus on yourself.

Go Get Your Hair Done!

Or go get your nails done, or get a massage or go on a shopping trip once you’ve lost the baby weight. Most women feel pretty un-sexy after they have a baby and as a result, don’t want or desire sex as much as they did when they felt better about themselves. In fact, you probably haven’t felt like yourself in almost a year, with the baby inhabiting your body for the better part of a year before you even gave birth. So take some time to make yourself feel like you again, whether it’s visiting the beauty salon or an all girls shopping trip (preferably while he’s watching the baby). Do something a little differnet like giving your hair color a daring boost or buying a new bra and panties set that is slightly more racy than what you usually get. You may feel guilty for leaving the baby for a few hours or doing something entirely for yourself, but don’t! Taking care of yourself will help you feel sexier and more like your former bedroom vixen self.

Go Ahead And Have Sex – Even If You’re Not Into It

If you’ve been cleared by your doctor to have sex but still haven’t really gotten in the mood for it, go ahead and have sex with your partner anyways. Even if you’re tired or you’re absolutely sure you’re not going to be able to have an orgasm, settle down in between the sheets with your partner for a little nookie. But don’t be tempted to just give into having a quickie with him! Start by giving your partner a blowjob, or have him give you oral sex. Or try sixty-nining! The key to turning blah sex into good sex is lots and lots of foreplay for both you and your partner rather than just letting him do his thing. As you and your partner get it on, you’ll find that you start to get into it, even though you really weren’t planning on it!

Remember That You Are Still A Sexual Being

Even though you’ve had a baby and you feel more like a milk machine than a sexy woman, it’s important to remember that you’re still a sexual being capable of giving and receiving pleasure. You’re still the same person that you were before you had a baby, and you can have as good sex with your partner as you used to have, if not even better! Even if you don’t feel like you’re super sexy right now, make an effort to walk the walk and talk the talk. If you take the time to make yourself look good and feel good, you’ll eventually start to feel more like your normal self and feel sexy for real.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: sex tips

5 Ways You Could Be Ruining Your Sex Life – Are You Guilty?

By loveandsex

Both women and men are guilty of unknowingly sabotaging their sex lives. When you first get together with someone, you’re so smitten that you’re watching your every move, careful that you’re presenting the very best side of yourself. As time goes on and you get more and more comfortable with your partner, it’s not at all uncommon for couples to slack off on what made them so sexy at first. Here are some bedroom mistakes that you could be making – and simply cleaning up your bad habits can improve your sex life ten fold!

Going To The Bathroom In Front Of Your Partner

Most couples who have been together for awhile have no problem peeing – or going #2 or even changing their tampon – in front of their partner. Sure, this is great step towards complete intimacy with your partner, but not the sexual kind. It may be quicker to just drop your drawers in the morning while your partner is shaving or brushing their teeth, but it’s not going to make you look very sexy at all in front of your partner. Of course your partner isn’t going to say anything – after all, it is natural – but later on when they’re thinking of how great you look undressed, the image of you on the pot might come creeping in and quash all notions of sexiness right then and there. Next time, wait until your partner is done using the restroom or ask them to wait until you’re finished.

Talking About Your Other Lovers

If you’ve been with your partner for awhile, it may be nothing to mention an old lover in the midst of conversation. “Oh, Jim and I went to this restaurant once when we were dating. I’ve heard the food is good.” It may seem completely benign, especially if you have a solid, trusting relationship with your partner, but your partner is most likely going to be thinking about your dinner with Jim while you’re having dinner with him – and he’ll probably worry about what you guys did after dinner too. Your man isn’t silly enough to think that you’ve never had a sexual partner before him, but he prefers to ignore it so he can focus on how great the sex between the two of you is.

Wearing Unflattering Pajamas

Your flannel pajamas are uber comfy and all you want to do is throw them on before you hit the hay after a long day of work or taking care of the kids. However, if all your partner sees you in is your flannel jammies, you may be doing yourself a disservice. He likes your bod and he wants to see it – at least some of it – and not just you buried in yards of flannel. Wear your comfortable pajamas some of the time, but don’t let your partner forget how great you look in a silky camisole and panties set.

Holding Out On Him To Get What You Want

Some women – ok, many women – will often use sex as a bribe or even withhold sex as a punishment to get their man to do what they want. You want him to take out the trash and do the dishes? You offer him a blowjob to entice him. He really screwed up and majorly dissed you – so no sex for a week. If the only way your partner gets sex is either for performing tasks for you or being a “good boy,” he’s going to get real tired of it real quick. Sex is about the two of you getting to enjoy each other and giving each other great orgasms – it’s not a bartering tool.

Faking Your Orgasms

If you fake an orgasm, your only making your sex life worse for yourself. You may think that because he’s tried giving you an orgasm for forty minutes that you’re doing him a favor by faking it and letting him get on with doing what he wants to do, he’s never going to learn how to please you the right way if he thinks his current techniques are sufficient in giving you the big “O.” So if you want your partner to keep doing things the way you don’t like them (instead of learning how to please you and give you a real orgasm) then by all means continue faking it. But if you do, your partner really is the only one getting anything out of it and he may catch on after a while too, no matter how good you think you are at it!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: sex tips

4 Things NOT To Do To Your Man In The Bedroom

By loveandsex

There are tons of sex tips out there that tell you what you should be doing in the bedroom, what you need to try and how to make your sex life hotter. But there aren’t a lot of tips out there that tell you what not to do to your guy in the bedroom and many girls end up making some serious sexual mistakes simply because they don’t know any better. Rarely will these mistakes cost you a guy, but it’s possible. Here’s what to avoid in the bedroom so you can keep things going smoothly.

Spanking Or Slapping (Or Biting) Without Permission

Lots of guys love spanking, slapping and biting during sex and lots of girls love it too. But there are definitely some guys that think spanking, slapping and biting should never enter the budior. How can you tell if your man likes or doesn’t like getting a little slap on his tush as he’s thrusting without straight up asking him? You can’t. You might be tempted to try it in the heat of the moment, but doing so can definitely backfire on you if he’s not into whatever you did. In fact, it could kill the mood right then and there. If you want to try spanking or even biting, ask permission first. Let him know that it really turns you on and you’d love to try it with him. Chances are, he’ll give you the green light and enjoy it, but you definitely don’t want to suprise him out of the blue with something like that.

Calling Him Weird Names

Ok, most girls know this one but here it is for the few who aren’t sure. Don’t ever call him “Daddy” in the bedroom. Ever. Really, ever. And the same goes for strange names for him or his penis, including “manmeat, man sausage, horse penis, etc.” You get the picture. Although many of these strange names for different parts of his anatomy or nicknames for him crop up in erotic novels or porn, they actually don’t do that well in the bedroom in real life. Seriously, do you want him calling your vagina a “love hole” or telling you that he enjoys licking your “love juices” off your thighs? Instead, find better ways to tell him what you like or talk dirty to him. If nothing comes to mind, a few simple moans and groans will suffice. Anything is better than calling his member “man sausage.”

Forgetting To Use Lube

Believe it or not, lots of girls forget to use lube when giving a handjob or even when they’re having sex. Sure, when having sex, the vagina will naturally help lubricate things (rarely is it enough though) but forgetting to use lube when giving a hand job is a carnal no-no. Your guy might be too shy to tell you that it doesn’t feel good or even that it hurts, making you think that you’re doing fine when you’re actually ripping the skin off his penis. Ok, not really, but you get the idea. Handjobs without lube hurts. Sex without a good amount of lube hurts too. It’s much better to be safe than sorry, so keep a bottle of lube by the bed or a travel size bottle in your purse. It may sound silly, but you’ll be so glad you did. And so will he.

Forgetting How To Spit (Or Swallow) Discreetly

When giving a blowjob, you have to find something to do with his semen once he ejaculates. There are several options for you to choose from, however, it’s important to decide what you want to do before it actually happens. If you freeze up when he ejaculates because you don’t have a plan, you may very well ruin his orgasm. If you like to swallow, go for it. This is the easiest way to go and it’s virtually mess free. Just keep a glass of water by the bed if you do. If you want to spit, come prepared with a towel and do so discreetly after he’s enjoyed his orgasm. If you don’t want semen in your mouth at all, come prepared with some flavored lube that you can use when he’s close you can back off for a handjob when he’s about to have an orgasm. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you know what you’re going to do beforehand and come prepared. You could be the best blowjob giver in the world but if you choke when it comes to finishing him off smoothly and seamlessly, you really could ruin everything.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: blowjob, handjob, sex tips, spanking

Anal Sex Play For Beginners – Tips & Techniques

By loveandsex

Anal sex is very erotic for many people, both men and women. There are many nerve endings in the rectum, particularly around the opening of the anus, that a lot of people find pleasurable when stimulated. Men often love the super tightness of a woman’s anus. Anal play – whether you’re having anal sex or using a toy or your fingers – can be intensely intimate.  The taboo of enjoying a so-called ‘prohibited’ activity with your partner can be super exciting and just what you need to turn up the heat in your sex life! There are, however, a few guidelines that should be followed for anal sex to make both you and your partner safe and comfortable!

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Don’t Skimp On The Lube

The anus does not naturally lubricate itself at all, therefore, it is an absolute must to use a good water based or silicone based lubricant during anal sex. While you don’t want to use silicone based lube in the vagina because it’s difficult to clean out, silicone lube will get flushed out with everything else when you go to the bathroom so feel free to use it for anal sex. Don’t ever attempt to have anal sex without lube, because you could easily tear something on the outside or even the inside, which would require a not so fun trip to the hospital. Also, do not use numbing or desensitizing lubricant, because if it hurts, you need to feel it and you need to stop! Just use lots and lots of regular water or silicone based lube for any kind of anal play.

Learn To Relax!

If you’re not able to relax when you have anal sex, you’re going to find it very uncomfortable or painful. Practice relaxing your anus around a small anal sex toy or a finger and work your way up to the bigger stuff. You certainly can’t expect yourself to accomodate a large sex toy or penis if you’ve never tried anal sex before, but if you learn to relax during anal play, you’ll gradually get to where you can take more and enjoy more.

Keep Things Clean

Since going through the backdoor will potentially (probably) get you at least a little dirty, it’s very important to keep things clean. Clean any and all sex toys used for anal play with hot, soapy water or special sex toy cleaner and wear a condom when inserting the penis into the anus. Wearing a condom during anal sex will allow you to slip it off and go straight to vaginal sex without worrying about bacteria spreading. If you don’t want to wear a condom during anal sex, you will need to wash your penis thoroughly with warm, soapy water. Neglecting to keep things clean during sex will increase the risk of spreading bacteria and giving your partner an infection.

Warm Up And Get Turned On First

Just like with sex, if you want to have good anal sex, it’s important to have a little foreplay first and get turned on before you start. Giving yourself a warm up period will help you relax and help get you turned on so that you’re more ready for anal play. If you’re not turned on before you receive anal sex, you’re anus is going to be clamped tight and you’ll find that anal play is going to be more uncomfortable and painful than if you allow yourself a good warm up period first. Try having your partner give you oral sex first and even a rim job if you both like it.

Go Slowly And Be Gentle

Anal sex is not the time to be rough or practice BDSM. Since the anus is basically made for things to come out of, you have to be very careful when putting things in there. Go slowly and be very careful not to be too rough, even if you’re extremely turned on by having anal sex. Communicate with your partner about whether it feels good or it hurts too much, and if it hurts make sure you stop right away. Have a safe word that your partner can use to let you know that she wants it to stop immediately, such as “banana” or another non-sex word. Remember that your first time having anal sex doesn’t have to last very long or be perfect. There’s always another time! The important thing is to make sure your partner is comfortable and having a good time too.

Safe Anal Sex Toys

If you’re going to use anal sex toys, it’s important that you purchase toys that are specifically made for anal sex. Many sex toys that are for vaginal use or even homemade sex toys can get lost in your anus because there is no “end” like with a vagina. Getting a sex toy lost in your anus is not only extremely painful and dangerous, it is also very embarassing because it will require a doctor and most likely surgery to remove it. Instead, choose anal sex toys that have a wide, flared base or ring on the bottom that keeps the toy from sliding too far into the anus.

Best Sex Positions For Anal Sex

While almost any sex position can be used for anal sex, there are some sex positions that are better for anal sex because they allow for easier access. The missionary position with the girl on bottom and her legs lifted high allows for great access to the anus, as does the doggy style position. You can also try the reverse cowgirl position where the woman is on top but facing her partner’s feet, or you can try spooning with your partner behind you. The sex postion doesn’t matter as much as long as you and your partner are both comfortable and having fun!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, foreplay, personal lubricants, Sex Toys

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