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A Facebook For Swingers? Why Kasidie is Better Than Adult Friend Finder

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Sadly, most people think swinging is all about indiscriminate sex. This is the reason so many people join Adult Friend Finder, as they assume that “it’s the largest swingers dating site, so it must be the best place to hook up.” But there’s a reason why their average account lasts less than 4 months.

The little known truth about swinging is that you “come for the sex, but stay for the friendships.”

And that’s why in the lifestyle Adult Friend Finder is known as “every swingers first mistake” – we all saw the member counts, joined in hopes of hooking up and left with a hollow feeling.

The Dirty On Swinging… “Sexually Social”?

So why isn’t swinging just indiscriminate sex? For the same reason it wasn’t when you were in college. There has to be some physical and mental chemistry and a high level of mutual attraction to create an erotic, lustful situation where you want to have sex with someone. And that doesn’t happen with everyone. Not even with most. Few, in fact.

However, what you do find is a new group of people who are open-minded, uninhibited, flirtatious, highly social and just flat out fun to be around. So even though you may not have sexual energy with everyone, you find that you enjoy their company and like hanging out with them far more than your previous social network of neighbors, work colleagues, PTA members are other “vanilla’s”. And the more social you are, the more friends and acquaintances you make, the more likely it is that you will find some people from time to time with mutual attraction and with whom you do want to take the flirtation up a few notches to more salacious fun.

A dating site doesn’t help create or maintain a social network of friends. They simply don’t provide the tools necessary to do that. There needs to be a way to make friends, to manage parties and other social events, to chat with people and see what they are up to, and to join in with others who share similar interests. For vanillas, FaceBook.com does this very well and that’s the reason why people spend hours a day on the site; but when you’re connected to family, kids, work mates, church members, and others then there’s simply no way to use it for the more adventurous side of your life.

A New Kind Of Swinger’s Website

This is where Kasidie.com comes in. It’s a site built from the ground up as a social network for swingers, or as they call it, those of us who are “sexually social”: building communities and friendships with a wide variety of tools. Here you can search profiles and find people similar to yourselves, just like a dating site, but you can also form bilateral friendships, post rendezvous for spontaneous fun, join in on hundreds of parties and travel takeovers (or even host your own), become a member of any number of communities catering to interests as disparate as wine, food, sports, travel and sexuality, and build a base of friends and social activities that are geared to getting you out of the house and into flirtatious, erotic fun.

Check out Kasidie.com, you might just have the best time of your life.

When Should You Talk To Your Kids About Sex?

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Sex ed is a hot topic these days, with teens making pacts to get pregnant and STD’s on the rise. Kids obviously need sex ed – but are they getting it? Who is responsible for teaching kids about sex, and when and how should it be done? Are schools responsible for sex ed? Are books or the Internet responsible, or how about movies, music and TV? No – you, as a parent, are solely responsible for your child’s sexual education. So when should you talk to your kids about sex?

What is the right age to tell your kids about sex? 8? 10? 15? 18? Watch this video to hear what we think about talking to your kids about sex. Visit our YouTube Page to comment and share what you believe is the right age. We also want to hear about your funny ‘situations’ – what’s the most awkward question your kids have asked you about sex? When did they ask it? How did they ask it? How did you react to the question?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-ze4BMCmIw[/youtube]

Why We Don’t Want To Talk To Our Kids About Sex

We don’t want to talk to our kids about sex because it makes us uncomfortable. Maybe our parents didn’t talk to us about sex, or we’re embarassed about sex. Heck, most of us can’t even talk to our partners about sex, let alone talk to our kids! But we’re adults – we’re supposed to have the answers. That’s what parenthood is all about. If you don’t know the answers, go find them and live up to the responsibility of being a parent. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable to talk to your child about sex, but how uncomfortable are you going to be when your twelve year old daughter comes home pregnant? Or your teenage son has caught a nasty case of Chlamydia or worse – HIV? That’s a pretty uncomfortable situation and you will then, of course, have to talk to them about sex and why they’re pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Why wait until it is too late?

The Right Time Is Now

Okay, we don’t mean “now” as in right this second, especially if your kid is still in diapers. We mean “now” as in talking to your kids about sex when they ask about it. If they don’t ask you about it, it means they’re getting their information from somewhere else, because they will ask. So if they ask you about sex, take the opportunity to answer their questions in an age appropriate manner and be grateful they’re not asking their teenage friends or worse, relying on movies and television to show them how it’s done.

There are three keys that you need to know when taking it upon yourself to discuss sex with your child – first, wait until they ask, but let them know beforehand that it’s okay to ask and make them feel comfortable and safe when asking about sex. Second, answer their questions in an age appropriate way. If your child is eight and asking about sex, you can explain to them simply that it is how children are made. Third, answer your child’s question and only your child’s question. Just because they asked a question about sex doesn’t mean you have to launch into an entire birds-and-the-bees lecture. Often, children will be satsified that their question was answered and go on about their business. They’ll ask more and want to know more along the way – so let them lead.

Stop Making Up Fairytales

You’ve known for a long time that children aren’t delivered by the stork, and that hospitals don’t deliver babies as a package. You’ve known how babies are born, did it yourself even, and have known for quite some time how sex really works. So why make up a story to tell to your children for the time being, only to have to tell them it was a lie later? Don’t tell your kids that babies come from the stork, or any other silly explanation about sex so you can escape the sex talk until a later date. It’s the 20th century people. Grow up!

Lead By Example

You want your kids to grow up and have loving, healthy relationships in which they can have smart, safe sex right? You want them to never have to deal with a sexually transmitted disease or infection, and you want them to have a baby when they are ready. You want them to love and be loved by their partner for who they are, right? So show them what a loving, healthy relationship is.

3 Proven Tips For Improving Your Sexual Stamina

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Believe it or not, a lot of men have problems with sexual stamina – most of them just don’t last long enough in bed before a girl can get warmed up enough to start to have an orgasm. This can lead to very unsatisfied women! What can you do to improve your sexual stamina so you can spend the kind of time in bed you want – pleasuring your partner and enjoying yourself at the same time?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmV_Vd_QRM4[/youtube]

Rushing Into Penetration

Penetration feels so great to guys that that’s what they’re angling for every time – and often, they rush into it! They’re so ready to get their groove on that they often forget that for a woman to have an orgasm, she needs to be warmed up properly. Most of the time, rushing into vaginal penetration is a huge turn off to women. They often don’t have enough lubrication down there if they’re not turned on, and this can even make for uncomfortable or painful sex. If a guy wants to try to last longer in bed, one popular method to try is using your brain to think of something else – for example, dead puppies or your grandmother naked. This is not the way to go guys! You know that joke about how a man only has enough blood to run either his brain or his penis, but not both at the same time? There’s some truth to that – if you’re thinking about your grandmother naked to try to get yourself to last longer in bed, you’re going to become turned off enough that your penis grows soft. Even if it doesn’t, your partner WILL notice that you’re not paying attention to her and she’ll get even more turned off. So what do you do?

Control Your Breathing

A man’s natural instinct is to start breathing hard and panting when he becomes turned on and engages in sexual activity. To help yourself to last longer, try breathing in and out normally, focusing on taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Kind of like when you exercise – there’s a reason they have you breathe that way, you know. To help you last through your workout! You can apply the same concept to sex and help yourself to last longer before you have an orgasm.

Focus On Relaxation

Some men don’t give credit to mental relaxation or meditation, but it can help delay your climax during sex. When you’re penetrating your partner, focus on how it feels instead of focusing on the end result. Center yourself, and be aware of everything around you. Focus on control of the situation and the acceptance of what you’re feeling, but don’t get too deeply involved in any thought you’re having or you’ll end up in situation #1.

Relaxing Your Muscles

Our natural instincts are to tense up our muscles when we’re close to having an orgasm – it’s one of the things that actually helps us to have an orgasm. However, if you’re trying to last longer in bed, tensing up your muscles can actually be counterproductive. If you want to really relax while having sex, try using a different position, such as your woman on top, so you can lay back and enjoy the sex, rather than thrust and be in control of it.

Is My Kinkiness Beyond All Others?

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Everyone has specific things they enjoy during sex, from the tame to the seemingly strange. While most people seem to fall into the so-called “normal” sex category, that is quite the opposite of the truth. Most people are actually at least a little kinky, in a number of different ways. How do you know that your kinkiness isn’t beyond all others?

I enjoy wearing a leash, collar, bit and saddle sometimes, and I sometimes enjoy being groomed. Does this qualify as a BDSM fetish? What makes people enjoy the different things they do?

 

–Tom, IN

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYTCjJTzkpE[/youtube]

A Basis Of Comparison

First of all, trying to find out if your kinkiness is considered “abnormal,” or if it’s beyond all others, you’re really fighting a losing battle. What is considered “normal” in this society? It’s all about perception, which can easily be distorted by religion, culture and even television or movies. In reality, various fetishes are common, even though people don’t always share them with others. Most people actually think that their fetish or kink is “normal” and everyone else is “abnormal,” regardless of how strange their own kink would seem to someone else. That is the true crux of the matter – why let what other people do or don’t do or what other people think or don’t think dictate what you like to do in your own bedroom?

A Colorful Variety Of Fetishes

There are probably more fetishes out there than you could even imagine. Shoe fetishes and BDSM are commonly talked about, but what about crossdressing? Asian women and men? Smoking after sex? Roleplaying? The Princess Leia slave costume fetish? Believe it or not, everyone has a little kink in them somewhere. Fetishes can arise from anything in our lives, even something stemming from childhood. Did you really like the princesses in the cartoon fairy tales? Perhaps you enjoy dressing up as them now during sex and imagining what that would have been like in the movies. Perhaps your mother enjoyed getting her nails done at a salon and now you enjoy having sex with women who have extraordinarily long, false fingernails that they use during sex. There’s no limit to what someone can like during sex!

When Does It Cross The Line?

Fetishes and kinks may seem like an intensely gray area with no real boundaries, but it’s actually quite easy to find out if your fetish crosses the line. Does it severely hurt other people? Does it involve people or animals who don’t give their consent? Does it involve anyone who is not a legal adult? If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, it’s definitely time to seek professional help. If you answered “no” to all of those questions, you still might consider talking to an unbiased counselor if you find that your fetish is taking over your life, preventing you from having healthy relationships and living a normal life. If having your fetish involves only legal, consenting adults and no one is getting seriously hurt, and it is allowing you to live a full and healthy lifestyle both in and out of the bedroom, embrace your uniqueness and enjoy your fetish!

Tension & Relaxation – The Secrets to Guaranteed Female Orgasms

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Orgasms are something around 10% of women never have, whether it is while masturbating or having sex with a loved one. This is the reason why women consult with me. A large number of them start off with confusions concerning how to become more susceptible to orgasms.

Developing equilibrium between tension and relaxation during sexual intercourse is a key issue. But is it really possible to be both tensed up and relaxed simultaneously?

Tension Makes Orgasms Possible

Muscle contraction is the kind of tautness that helps women orgasm (scientifically known as ‘myotonia’). Many females who don’t have orgasms are under the wrong perception that they just have to lay there and relax. They have heard about the importance of being relaxed during sex but what they fail to realize is that tension in the muscles is very often just as important when it comes to reaching a climax.

A lot of females have reported to having been able to reach and orgasm by tensing certain areas of their bodies. Some contract their abdominal, leg and buttock muscles. Some have even reported success while also contracting their feet muscles. Even upper body tensing has been noted to have helped women achieve an orgasm at one point or the other.

In fact, the number of women who reach an orgasm with no muscle tension at all is very small. Incidentally, muscle tautness that happen in the lower pelvis play a very important part in being able to reach a climax. You see, during an orgasm the muscles that contract automatically are the same that need to be squeezed to discontinue the stream of pee mid-flow.

The group of muscles involved here are the pubococcygeus muscle group (PC muscles) and their conscious contraction is known as a Kegel exercise. To build up arousal while engaging in sexual exploits, many women tense these PC muscles. Tensing or contracting the various muscle groups pushes blood in to the parts of the body active during sex. (The flow of blood to the groin needs to be increased to initiate arousal.)

All this talk about muscle tension surely makes one ask where the relaxation phase comes into the picture!

Relaxing Your Mind

The answer to this question is this: relaxation occurs in the mind. Relaxation during sexual activities means that you should stop worrying or thinking about anything else. Just try to be in the moment and FEEL each pleasure that washes over your body as your lover titillates you.

If you’re having problems emptying your mind and relaxing, apply the “silent radio technique”. This is the same technique that is used in post offices and public areas where long lines form. They help keep hostility low despite the long wait that people have to undergo. It can be visualized as the Times Square board sign where words stream across a screen from the left to the right and then fade away from the screen. The screens usually carry items like news highlights, horoscopes and sports.

While the above mentioned technique is being used during sex, you may find that the repetition of a mantra like “I can stay in this pleasurable state for hours,” or “this feels fantastic!” in your mental silent radio helps in keeping your mind occupied with thoughts that foster arousal instead of entertaining thoughts that decrease arousal.

A very important aspect to learning how to be more orgasmic involves these two factors that may look contradictory but make a large difference when used together in helping the sexual process reach its desired outcome.