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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

5 Wicked Ways to Get Kinky in the Kitchen

By speaksexy

It’s no surprise to learn one of the sexiest places in a house is the kitchen; the delicious smells, the beautiful colors, the way everything simmers together, tempting our senses into complete and utter abandon…

Unfortunately most of us never get the opportunity to fully explore all of the hidden erotic treasures patiently awaiting us in our kitchen drawers because we’re too busy reheating yesterday’s pizza to actually spend three savory hours indulging in our sensual creativity.

So here’s my suggestion – make a little cooking date with your lover on a Saturday, or a Sunday, or whenever. Treat it just as you would any other date, give the children to their grandparents, get a babysitter, etc. Make sure the two of you have plenty of time to relax and to really “get into” whatever happens to come up.

Go through your cupboards, your refrigerator, and your pantry with kinky eyes.

Ask yourself questions like “how would that feel running up my spine?” or “how else could this fork be used?”

Before you know it everything will seem wonderfully tempting, and you’ll be well on your way to making steamy memories that will no doubt have you blushing the next time you stick that boring old pizza into the oven.

If, however, you still need a bit of inspiration to get your naughty juices flowing, keep reading.

Five Very Wicked Ways To Turn Your Ordinary Kitchen Accoutrements Into Brazenly Devilish Sex Toys

1. The Spanking Wooden Spoon – Near and dear to my own playful heart, I get a fluttery feeling every time I use one of these classic, extra-large wooden stirring spoons. For the edgy players among you, using a spoon for spanking purposes is not a very shocking idea.

After all, whenever a paddle’s not handy, a wooden spoon will always do the trick! It’s sturdy, fairly wide, and gives that yummy mix of sting and thud. Oh come on, be daring and give your partner a soft teasing whack – their reaction might surprise you!

2. Chip Clip Nipple Clamps – Warning, not for the faint of heart. I’m a little hesitant to make this suggestion because it has to be the right kind of chip clip – you should only use ones that are flat on the inside, NOT the kind with little teeth or jagged edges meant to hold the bag closed tighter! Although impromptu nipple (or other body part) clamps are a fun idea, remember how easily this skin can be damaged and use your common sense. Smaller clips have less power so are better suited for this pain/pleasure toy. And don’t forget to sooth those fire-hot nipples afterward with a little melting ice from the freezer…

3. Really Hot Chocolate – Find a great recipe for homemade hot fudge and make it together. The aroma of melting chocolate alone should get your mind wandering into happy land. Once it’s finished and cooled enough that you can touch it without burning yourself, begin to finger-feed it to your lover. Remember, the point is to be sensual and indulgent. Do it slowly, deliberately.

Watch as your lover takes your finger into their mouth, let yourself feel the roughness of their tongue, pay attention! Don’t be afraid to get sticky and very messy. You know this activity has gone well when all of his, um, “fingers” and all of her “lips” have been completely covered in chocolate – preferably over and over again!

4. Rolling Pin Massage – Grant it, this suggestion is more fun and light-hearted than the others, but we all need a little relaxing warm-up don’t we? I know it’s a funny image, but using a rolling pin to massage the sides of your back, butt, thighs and calves actually feels great! The big handles make it really easy to use and you can get wonderfully long strokes out of it.

Feel free to laugh along the way, but eventually your partner will appreciate the real massage he or she is getting – even if it is from a rolling pin!

5. Guessing Game – Cover your lover’s eyes with a blindfold, or if you think they won’t cheat just tell them to close their eyes. Pick about twenty-five different cooking utensils (tongs, forks, basters, etc.) and use them of various parts of your lover’s (naked) body. Pinch them with the tongs, blow air in their face with the baster – you get the gist. Have your lover try to guess what you are using on them.

For every correct guess, offer them a sexual favor of their choice, and for every wrong guess they have to do something for you. Clearly this simple game can go in many different directions, so you can take it as far as you’d both like.

Of course, these ideas are just the beginning. Your kitchen’s sexuality completely depends on your own unique imagination and preferences, so please don’t ever feel limited to what you’ve heard or what other people have done!

Give yourself and your lover the freedom to be silly, kinky, weird. Something memorable is bound to come out of all that loving energy!

Filed Under: Sex Games Tagged With: kinky sex, role play, sex games, sex tips, Sex Toys

Did You Get Your Fun, Sexy Halloween Costume Yet?

By loveandsex

Think back to your childhood for a moment, and remember all the fun you had with playing dress up and trying on all those cool costumes for Halloween…

And then ask yourself… why should kids have all the fun, while all the adults grow up and become boring and stodgy? Well, there are a lot of perks to being a grown up, and Halloween can be just as fun as it was back then… and a LOT more naughty.

Forget that! Let’s turn up the heat this Halloween with some dress up gear that’s ONLY for grown ups. 🙂

Instead of cartoon characters and action figures, how about some fun, sexy fantasy costumes to get you AND your lover in the mood for a steamy evening after your trick or treating.

French Maid? Nurse? Maybe a Sexy Bunny? 

"Is there a doctor in the house? Somebody’s been naughty and needs a physical."

Role playing is one of the most common forms of sexual diversion for a couple. Nothing like pretending to be someone else, living dangerously, meeting an exciting stranger and letting your passion run wild! 

There is of course the French maid, or better yet, the upstairs maid (no upstairs is complete without one). And of course the nurse, in case of emergency.

What about a sexy witch, or an adult pirate costume.

And for the serious playa who’s just dying to don that purple suede suit with leopard lining and matching hat, check out these pimp costumes.

It’s truly amazing how many creative sexy and fantasy costumes can be found, if you just know where to look.

What About Just Straight Fun Costumes? 

Then again, it’s not always about sex (just most of the time).

The lock and key costume is a great gag costume for those couples where the lady wears the pants. Just look at the picture and imagine it reversed, with her wearing the key. You know who you are. 🙂

Sexy Halloween Costumes

If you’re going to find a great, sexy outfit for Halloween, start looking now and order in plenty of time. Check out some of the great sexy costumes at Costumes, Inc and see what sparks your imagination.

They also have a special offer for our readers. When you order, be sure to use the coupon code "askdanjen" to get 15% off any order over $75 (except closeouts and shipping).

At the very least, check out the upstairs maid. Remember, no upstairs is complete without one. 

Note: This is a Sponsored Review brought to you by Costumes, Inc, but all opinions are our own. 

Filed Under: Sex Games Tagged With: adult costumes, role play, sex games, sexual fantasies, sexy costumes

Blue Pill Anyone? Maybe It’s Time for Some Natural, Herbal Viagra Alternatives

By loveandsex

Unless you’ve been under a rock for the last few years, you know that every middle aged man has at the very least thought about getting his hands on some of those magical little blue pills.

Viagra and Cialis are everywhere!

Are Male Erectile Dysfunction Pills Actually Safe?

Of course, we’ve all heard the TV commercials that tell you about the great benefits, but then in a hushed voice warn you to “seek immediate medical attention if an erection lasts more than four hours”. Huh? What exactly are these pills doing to our bodies?

Modern medicine has a great track record for fixing broken bones and major injuries resulting from accidents. But results have been downright disappointing for medications. And then there’s the major fun fact that almost no medication actually fixes anything – it’s all a long term maintenance plan for life. Ouch!

What IS absolutely amazing is the results people see with natural, herbal supplements.

What About Natural, Herbal Viagra Alternatives?

Let’s put it this way…

I took blood pressure medication for years (250 milligrams a day in the last year), and according to my doctor, I could expect to take it (in ever increasing quantities) for the rest of my life. Cool, huh?

Until one day I said “that’s enough”! I started reading up on natural alternatives, i.e. stuff that doesn’t require prescriptions. At least not yet – that’s a government control topic for another day…

A good friend of ours who’s very familiar with holistic (natural) treatments recommended some herbal supplements, and a daily meditation program. So I started taking those supplements and began the 30 minute daily meditation program, with an open mind and a hope for better health.

Amazingly enough, my blood pressure was completely GONE within the first 3 months of this new program. And 3 years later, by blood pressure is still gone. By the way, I only took the supplements for 3 months – not for the rest of my life!

Are Herbal Supplements Safe?

Like most everything else, some are and some aren’t. Just like drugs from your local pharmacy, some will be completely harmless and some will have nasty side effects. You have to be smart, do your homework, and know what you’re putting into your body. If you do actually read up and do a little research, you’ll quickly know what natural alternatives are available for what ever’s ailing you.

Guess what – you should do the SAME level of research when you buy a big name drug. Just because it comes on TV, doesn’t mean it’s safe and won’t have side effects for you.

Benefits of Natural  Supplements Over Prescription Drugs

Are you tired of paying a massive premium and jumping through hoops to get your hands on those pricey blue pills? One major problem with Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs is the price.

Ever hear of herbal Viagra? Yes, there are various natural, herbal treatment options coming on the market to treat erectile dysfunction, but at a fraction of the price. Tired of paying $15 per pill? Some of the herbal options go for $1 to $2 per pill.

Better yet, many herbal supplements have been around for hundreds or thousands of years; they haven’t been rushed out of the Big Pharma Corp in time for the major product launch of the “blue pill“, the “purple pill”, or whatever color we’re pushing this month. Do you ever wonder why they make them such pretty colors?

Then there’s the hassle and red tape, and all the time involved in getting a prescription, juggling your insurance coverage, playing the “co-payment” game to see what is and isn’t covered this month, and so on. All those fun reasons we try to avoid pharmaceuticals whenever possible.

And of course there are the side effects. Ever try reading the side effects on most medicines you purchase these days? Scary!!! People not only get sick and have crazy reactions, but many actually die from side effects of modern medicines. Perhaps it’s the over commercialization of modern medicine that pushes out products before they’re actually ready (something we so often see in the software industry). Regardless, fact is modern medicine offers many benefits for emergency situations, but has a LOT of growing to do when it comes to solving regular problems like erectile dysfunction and high blood pressure.

Herbal supplements tend to be significantly safe and have few if any side effects. Again, research anything you’re going to put into your body, but all in all you’re probably much safe when you go natural.

Maybe it’s time to give the natural, herbal approach a try. And instead of spending a fortune on a bottle of Viagra, maybe you should consider giving natural, herbal Viagra a try.

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: erectile dysfunction (ED), herbal viagra, how to last longer in bed, premature ejaculation, viagra

Porn Addiction! Huh? Women Addicted to Porn?!?

By loveandsex

Everyone likes to think it’s just men that watch porn. Wives and girlfriends everywhere, high on false righteousness, patrol their man’s computer to make sure it’s still virgin. And God forbid he actually watches porn on TV. After all, porn’s just downright wrong, isn’t it? Or is it?

But here’s a shocker…  lots of women actually enjoy porn, or some form of exotic, erotic entertainment. This urban myth that women don’t like porn or erotic movies goes back to the same popular culture ignorance that leads so many to believe that women don’t want or enjoy sex as much as men.

Fact is, women DO like sex just as much as men do. They just go about it differently, usually in a more discrete, seductive way.

Here’s a question from a lady in California who’s afraid she’s actually become ADDICTED to porn!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have gotten into the habit of watching pornography to help me orgasm, whether it’s masturbating or having my boyfriend go down on me. I used to be able to have an orgasm without porn, but now I’m dependent on it. I don’t think my boyfriend minds much, but it’s just a nuisance.

How can I ease this habit?

— Aly, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml01wPSbJ3I[/youtube]

Why All Addictions Are Bad. Yes, Even Addictions to Porn.

Addictions are bad. It doesn’t matter what you’re addicted to: porn, cigarettes, food (which most everyone is addicted to), or anything else. Doing something because you WANT TO is great. But when you start NEEDING to do it, you know you’re in trouble. The whole fun and joy comes out of it, and you become a slave to whatever you’re doing.

STOP IT! If you realize you have an addiction that’s not serving you (most of them don’t), then kill it, don’t feed it. Most addictions feed an emotional emptiness of some sort. Do away with whatever you’re addicted to and find a better way to meet that need.

And the easiest way to make it stop is to SAY NO that very first time. That will begin to shatter the destructive behavior. When you feel the NEED to do it, do something else. Anything else. Each time you ‘just say no’ and choose a positive action instead, your brain re-wires itself to NOT be dependent on the addiction. Pretty soon, you’ll be free.

If you make a serious effort and still can’t break yourself of it, then get help. Find a counselor to help you get through it. But it all starts with you saying NO that first time and deciding it’s over.

Why Is Pornography Wrong?

Take a moment and really think about that. What IS wrong with watching porn?

I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.

Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex?

Not as a replacement for intimacy of course, but maybe something to help get you BOTH in the mood. And don’t necessarily think of the hard core stuff on the pay per view channels. How about some really erotic movies that’ll get you both excited and in the mood? Not every time, but as a fun change on a sexy date night.

What Is It About Porn That You Find Exciting?

To break the porn addiction, it’s vital to figure out what exactly you find exciting about it. Are you maybe enjoying a certain type of sex play? Is it bringing out some secret fantasies that you haven’t shared with your partner – or maybe which you were afraid to share for some reason?

Once you figure out what it is that’s really getting you excited, here’s a big question for you. Are you trying these things in your sex life? No? Why not?

Sex is so much more fulfilling when you openly share your wants and desires with your partner. Open and honest communication is crucial for a happy sexual and romantic relationship. So give it a try: talk. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Slow Seduction – Why It Matters

Are you getting enough warm up time and mental stimulation, or is it just Wham-Bam-Sex?

Sex is not just about the physical mechanics or inserting Tab A into Slot B. It’s about the excitement, the passion… the most enjoyable part of sex is mostly mental. Sure, the orgasm feels good either way, but there’s no substitute for hot, steamy sex where your mind and body are completely and utterly aroused and playing as one!

Remember also that some men are always ready to go at the drop of a hat. But women usually need more warm up time. Nothing like a hot date with the promise of a steamy, sleepless night to get you both turned on. Build up the anticipation and the tension, and you’ll be pleasantly amazed at the results.

Time to Bring the Excitement and Hot Sex Back Into Your Love Life

Leave the TV behind and bring that excitement in the real world. Nothing wrong with some porn or an exotic thriller now and then for a stay-home date night, but the real world can be so much more stimulating.

With just a little effort, you can actually spark some real excitement in your sex life. Block off some time each week to go out on some hot, exciting dates together. Don’t just talk about it, take action and make it happen. Take this seriously: schedule it now as if it was a doctor’s appointment. You’re going, and the appointment is set.

Now watch the anticipation build as you come up with exciting plans for your steamy date. And when the day comes, get to know each other even more intimately, share your hidden fantasies, and see where the night takes you.

Sex is a wonderful God given gift for us all to enjoy, preferably with someone we’re close to. So indulge yourself and your partner. Explore your desires together and have fun!

Filed Under: Porn & Adult Movies Tagged With: adult movies, erotica, porn, porn addiction

Gasp! Do People Actually Have Oral Sex?

By loveandsex

Everyone has their own sexual preferences, whether it’s plain old missionary position, lights off, oral sex, anal sex (gasp!), or any one of dozens of exotic sexual activities.

Of course, nobody thinks of what they like as a weird fetish. No, what they like is always “OK” and “mainstream”. Then we hear about someone doing something just a little more weird, just a little different from what we’re comfortable with, and suddenly it’s a “kinky fetish”.

Here’s a question from a man in Georgia, who’s absolutely shocked to have discovered that some people seem to actually enjoy oral sex. Is it blasphemy, or has he just been missing out?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do people really perform oral sex? Seems disgusting to me. Is it rare, or do couples regularly do it? I never thought of such a thing until I got on the Internet. It was never discussed in my circle of friends.

— Harold, GA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRbhd-VHwog[/youtube]

Do Regular People Actually Engage in Oral Sex?

Absolutely. There are people out there who enjoy every type of fetish and exotic sexual activity imaginable. From enjoying oral sex, to relishing anal sex, to threesomes and swinging, and other fetishes you’ve never even imagined.

And of course there are people who want absolutely no part of any of these activities. They are content with missionary position on the third Thursday of every month, give or take a week. 🙂

There are even some people out there who consider sex without the specific objective of making a baby to be a sin!

The Most Important Rule for Sexual Fantasies and Fetishes

Most importantly, figure out what you like to do, and find someone who likes to do these things with you. And then have fun, lots of it…

This is a private agreement between the two of you. Don’t focus on what other people do or say, unless you’re looking for other things to try with your partner. Also, don’t try to force something on your partner that they are not comfortable with. This is about making each other happy, not forcing your ideas on your partner. Especially with oral sex, if you do it right, I think your partner will come around. Yes, the pun was intended!

How to Become an Expert at Giving Oral

Remember. Just because women aren’t very vocal about requesting oral sex, doesn’t mean they don’t like it and WANT IT.

Two of our most popular articles in recent months have focused exclusively on pleasing your lady with oral sex. These are the Female Orgasm Black Book review, and a review of well known romance expert Michael Webb’s excellent guide called “Lick by Lick”. If you haven’t seen these already, go check them out.

Men shouldn’t feel left out though. If you’re looking for a guide to buy for your lady friend, get her a copy of Michael Webb’s just released “Blow By Blow” – a guide to pleasing the man in your life. Yeah, you read that title right, and that’s what it’s about. Don’t blush, you know you either like it or would like to try it. 🙂

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: oral sex, sex tips, sexual fantasies

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