Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Sex Tips & Advice

How To Get Him To Reign In His Pubic Hair

By

Shaving for a guy can often be an afterthought, but if you’re giving him head, he needs to keep his pubic hair under control. Here’s how to get him to do it.

While being clean is the first step to preparing for a great blowjob, you don’t want to completely overlook pubic hair. Wild, unkempt pubic hair can ruin fabulous oral sex, so make sure you and your partner agree on what kind of down there grooming he needs to do.

While you don’t want to have a conversation about how much he stinks and needs to take a shower because this can put a big nick in his self esteem, the same is not true of the pubic hair conversation. It is perfectly appropriate to discuss how pubic hair affects you when you’re giving him head and your opinions on how he can handle his bush.

Talking To Him About It

Don’t broach the subject right before sex. Even though it’s fine to talk about what to do with his pubes, it’s still not a conversation you want to be having right before you’re about to get it on. So talk about it after sex, or while you’re having breakfast the next morning. Choose a benign time to bring it up and don’t be critical about it. Simply tell him that it would make giving oral sex easier for you if he had more control over the growth of his pubic hair.

Remember though, you’re only offering opinions on what he could do with it that would make giving him a blowjob better for you. You are not the decision maker, nor can you force him to shave or wax if he’d prefer to go au natural. The end decision is his, but you certainly have the right to weigh in, considering it’s your face down there, not his.

Trimming

Trimming is probably one of the most popular male pubic hair grooming options. Trimming is easy and fast, and makes a guy feel less vulnerable than shaving or waxing does. To be honest, most men trim. All he needs to do is take a beard trimmer (works better than a hair trimmer because it is smaller and can more accurately trim angled areas) and use an attachment that will trim the hair at the length he wants. If he likes a lot of hair, you can compromise by using a longer trimming attachment that still keeps his mane under control without making him feel like he’s getting ready to slide into a Speedo.

If you would like his penis completely bald but he says there’s no way he’s going there, compromise with a close trim. A close trim is actually a favorite among couples, because it’s virtually impossible for a woman to get a pube stuck in her teeth during oral sex if he’s trimmed almost down to the skin, and men like it because the closer the trim, the larger his penis looks. If you have trouble convincing him to groom, let him know that it’s a proven fact that a penis looks smaller when it’s drowning in pubic hair.

If he gets his bush under control, he could easily add 2” to his visible penis length. This is usually all it takes to sell a guy on keeping his pubic hair trimmed. While many men are going to prefer trimming themselves, there are going to be a few hard to reach places. Offer to trim for him, but don’t be surprised if he turns you down.

Shaving

Shaving is another option, one that many guys couple with trimming, depending on how they like their pubic hair to look. Shaving is totally up to him – because many guys don’t like it. Shaving can cause wicked shaving bumps (sound familiar?) and it can be super uncomfortable when it grows back. And no, men won’t consider what they prefer on a woman during cunnilingus when they’re taking their own pubic hair status into account. He’ll never sympathize with you on shaving bumps, razor burn and itchy regrowth. He’ll still want you to shave.

If your man does shave, it’s unlikely that he’ll shave it all off, although some guys do prefer to do that and like the completely bald look. Or, he may shave everywhere except for a patch of hair in the front, like a woman’s “landing strip.” Either way, shaving is a lot of upkeep for a guy and doesn’t make that much of an impact on giving head, unless you want to lick and suck him from top to bottom and plan putting everything from his cut lines to his anus in your mouth. Then, you might want him to shave. But it’s still his call.

Waxing

Almost no guy will wax his pubic hair. Guys aren’t usually into taking pain for the sake of perceived beauty the way women are. Women are raised to believe that if it makes you look better, it doesn’t matter if it hurts. Not so with guys – they’d rather look like Chewbacca than pull all their pubes out by the root in one fell swoop.

So don’t suggest waxing to your guy – just don’t. He’ll probably look at you like you’re nuts or think you get off on causing guys immeasurable pain. However, if you are with one of the few guys who do prefer waxing as their means of pubic hair grooming, good for you. Be thankful he cares that much.

Once your man has completed his grooming ritual, do not forget to let him know how much his newly manscaped genitals turn you on. Lavish them with lots of attention, and don’t skimp on the praise. And of course, make sure you’re groomed too when he goes to return the favor. If you want him to trim or shave, you’d better not look like you stepped out of a time machine from the 70’s when he takes your pants off.

The Best Sex Tips You’ve Never Heard Of

By

Sex tips are often things you see over and over again – the same ones, literally beat into your brain. But here are some incredible sex tips that are brand new!

Everyone could always use a really great sex tip, regardless of your skill level. From passionless missionary sex to oral sex that is more paint by numbers that porn star wild, you may need a few tricks of the trade to spice things up. Or maybe things are hot and you want to make them even hotter.

What She Said:

There are so many sex tips out there when it comes to pleasing your man, but what about you? Below, I offer some sex tips specifically for women to use on themselves.

Sex is a mental thing for women, we have to shut out the outside world and ignore our to-do list. You have to silence your inner critic and all those voices in your head. One way to help silence them is to prep your mind for sex. Think sexy thoughts throughout the day. Why not wear sexy lingerie under your normal work clothes. No one has to know what you are wearing under there and that makes it all the more sexy! Another tip is to watch a sexy movie or read some erotica before you get busy with your man. There is such a wide array of porn that is catered to women that you are bound to find something that helps light your fire.

Now that you have spent some extra time getting yourself into the mood, the next step is to get it on. My next tip and one of my favorites, is to TAKE CONTROL! Make the first move or show him what you like. In order for him to please you he needs to know what you like. So many women just go through the motions of sex without speaking up or showing their lover what they like. So get on top of him and use him as your own personal sex toy.

While you are on top, lean forward so your clitoris gets all the delicious contact it needs. While on top you can also control the pace and depth. Make it a game, tell him he can’t come until you have. A woman who can own her sexuality and isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants in bed is the sexiest sex tip of all!

What He Said:

The best sex tip I can offer is to look good naked. Working out is great. It boosts your libido, your mood and when you look great naked, you want to be naked more often. It also can help you attract the hottest lovers of your life!

Any kind of exercise will do, at the end of the day it’s what works for you. Yoga is great, because it’s basically porn already. Don’t believe me? Go to a yoga class. There are strippers and porn stars who wear more clothing. And you’ll get all hot and sweaty with sexy people bending over, twisting like pretzels, it’s hot.

You have to own it too. Sex starts and ends in the mind. If it’s not there to begin with, it won’t happen in your naughty bits. Meditation is good, but also just stand naked in front of your mirror butt ass naked and really get comfortable in your skin. You are hot to someone and someone will want to have hot steamy intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or whatever the hell else you’re into but first you have to feel good about you. That’s first.

Assuming you’ve got that taken care of, let’s get down to the brass tacks. Make your fantasies a reality. You may need to get creative. If you’ve always fantasized about a three way and you’re in a monogamous relationship, try getting a vibrator and using it in your backdoor while you have intercourse with your husband. If you want to be with a girl and you’re afraid or not ready (and you’re a woman) go to a strip club. Get a lap dance. If you’ve always wanted to be in control, buy handcuffs and handcuff your man to the bed. If you want to be dominant, be dominant. If you want to be submissive, be submissive.

I’m a big believe that the greatest sex tip is to find a way to have the vacation sex you love in your every day life. You may have to schedule it. Like married people with kids schedule sex or old people schedule their last glass of Ovaltine before the big Matlock Marathon. Just be consistent and be patient.

Four Signs You Should NOT Sleep With Someone

By

Sex tips will tell you how to have better sex, but what about whether you should have sex at all? Here are four indications you shouldn’t get busy.

1. You Don’t Have Protection

We’re not talking about handguns here.

Of all the reasons not to do it, this is the biggest one, and it should be a no brainer, but sadly it’s not. If you don’t have condoms, you should not sleep with someone. Period.

I know, I know. You’re already there, both parties are willing and they swear they’re clean. They’ve totally been tested recently and they passed with flying colors. Nothing could possibly go wrong here, right? Seriously? You have to ask?

You don’t need to look at government statistics. Way too many STD’s or unplanned pregnancies stem from this scenario. If you don’t have protection, don’t sleep with someone. And don’t just assume we’re talking about condoms here. This includes dental dams for rimming or oral sex, and latex gloves if you plan on fingering or fisting someone.

They may think they’re clean, maybe their last test was. But you could still catch a disease, like say herpes for which there is no relable test. If you aren’t prepared, don’t do it. So the moral of the story is if you want to sleep with someone, always have protection on you

2. You Don’t Really Want To

There are many reasons you might find yourself in a position to hook up with someone you aren’t super excited to. Maybe you’re in a slump and you just want to end it by any means necessary. Maybe you’re on an online date and this person is all about you and you don’t feel the same way. Maybe you know you want to watch Sportscenter instead. If you’re not feeling it for one reason or another, you shouldn’t sleep with someone. It’s not going to be that good for you, and it won’t be for them either, and if you’re a guy you might not perform as well as you would normally.

This temporary performance issue can lead to serious consequences long term for you and could make the other person feel unwanted or unattractive, which can cause confidence issues for them too. Now that’s one big shit sandwich. If you really aren’t super excited to sleep with someone you probably shouldn’t. I’m not saying you need to be in love with the person, but if getting them naked doesn’t make you feel like a kid of Christmas, you should probably consider passing.

3. Your Spidey Sense Is Tingling

None of us are perfect. We all have baggage in our past and skeletons in our closet. So don’t go running if the person you go home with doesn’t exactly have what it takes to be a foot model. But if they takes off their shoes and the smell is so bad the EPA tries to regulate the emissions, you might not want to sleep with this person.

If this person seems super negative, or high maintenance, or exhibits any of your “deal breakers,” just move on. And above all, if they seem super crazy or clingy or needy, just bail. If your intuition is telling you something is wrong now, just move on. It’s not like it’s going to go away. You’ll never hear anyone say: “Yeah, I thought he/she was kind of crazy after they said they like to kill small animals while listening to Justin Bieber, but it turns out they’re the love of my life.” That just does not happen. Period.

If you have doubts, any doubts at all, do not have sex with someone. This, like all rules should be taken with a grain of salt. If you find that everyone who wants to sleep with you makes you have doubts, then well, that’s your bad. You should be mindful to make sure you aren’t the problem. If you don’t want to sleep with them because they own a PC and you’re a Mac user, well, that’s not the most valid reason not to engage in intercourse, but to each their own.

4. They’re Way Tanked (Or You Are)

We’ve all hooked up at a bar, or when we were tipsy. But when someone is super tanked, you probably shouldn’t sleep with them. Some states consider that sexual assault as the person is not sober enough to give consent. You might wake up next to someone you’d claw your arm off not to wake up next to. The only thing worse than waking up with post drunken one night stand regret is to be super happy with the person you hooked up with, because it means they’re looking at you with regret. Better to wait till your somewhat sober.

Is Your Sex Life Dead?

By

Sex tips are a great way to spice up a dull sexual relationship – but has yours passed “dull” and seems unrevivable? If so, check out these simple tips!

What She Said:

Sex is always the first thing to go when relationships are going sour. But, it can also have peaks and valleys during relationships. The difference between having a dry spell or being in a bad relationship is being able to distinguish between the two. When it is just a lull in the relationship, then both of you are still into each other but might be stressed out, or busy but you two don’t avoid talking about your lack of an intimate life.

Most importantly you are able to talk about how bad you want each other, even when you can’t have each other. When sex is really dead, you don’t talk about it. One or both of you might start holding on to a grudge or hurt feelings, but you don’t look for solutions. And if one partner brings up the subject, the other partner avoids talking about it or changes the subject. Every relationship has a honeymoon stage where you two go at like like rabbits. In time, the honeymoon stage dies down and you guys might get into a comfy routine.

There is nothing wrong with routine but there should always be a spark between the two of you. You should always be trying new things and constantly changing things up. Another sign of a dead sex life is when it stops feeling good or neither one of you are excited about it. You might find yourself avoiding your partner so you don’t have to have sex or being in the middle of it and bored out of your mind.

If you find yourself agreeing to have sex because your partner did something nice or its been a few weeks and you should just do it, then your sex life is dead. Sex changes in intensity and frequency but if you find yourself dreading sleeping with him, avoiding it, or worse he is turning you down and avoiding you, then the sex life is dead.

What He Said:

Are you still having sex? If so, then your sex life isn’t technically dead. That said, if you’re having intercourse because you know you’re supposed to or you only give him a blowjob because you have to because it’s his birthday then this is not so good of a sign.

If you aren’t having sex any more, it may be because of duties, pressures, or obligations, or it could mean you’re falling out of love with your partner. That doesn’t mean you’re going to cheat or that you should break up, just that you might want to take some time and really think about your relationship’s honeymoon phase and what made you fall in love with that person in the first place (or fall in lust, depending on the nature of the relationship). The more you can recall those memories, the richer more vibrant they begin to appear in your mind, the better.

You will need to talk to your partner. Communication is key here, and so is effort. You will both have to “work” to bring the sexy back and it may take time. I say “work” because it’s not really work, just dedicated, consistent effort. You don’t have to work to make your car go, you just put gas in the tank and turn the key.

The same will be need for your sex life. Wild, hot nasty sex can mean many things anal sex, oral sex, wife swapping or swinging or just a quickie during half time. Figure out what your mutually agreed definition is and work backwards and give yourself time to get it back, it will come, but don’t put any pressure on yourselves. Try and make the rediscovery of your passion a fun and enjoyable process.

Sooner rather than later you’ll be enjoying wild, hot, nasty vacation style sex that would make porn stars feel shy and inhibited. But don’t compare yourselves to them or anyone else. If you both only really want to do it once a month, and you’re both okay with that, great! But if you want more, say it, and then do it. It may take a bit of practice, but hey, that’s the fun part, right?

What To Do When She Won’t Talk To You About Sex

By

Sex tips are thought of as a road map for sex, but they are more than that. It’s about communication, and here’s what to do when your partner won’t discuss it.

When it comes to sex, communicating with your partner is absolutely essential. You’re not a mind reader – unless you’ve been with your lover for many years, you just won’t automatically know what she wants or needs in bed. Even if you have been with your partner for a substantial amount of time, it’s still a bit of a guessing game because let’s face it – you’re not a mind reader.

You can’t know what she’s thinking about, or what she wants next or whether she wants you to move a little to the left or to the right. While some women are very up front and straight forward about what they want during sex, many women are not. This is because many women grow up believing that sex should only be pleasurable for the male partner, or that it’s “dirty” and “wrong” to derive any sort of pleasure from sex. Although this couldn’t be further from the truth, their belief systems lead them to never speaking up during lovemaking.

These women aren’t going to say, “That doesn’t feel good, here, I need you to do it like this.” They’re going to smile, act like they’re into it and possibly fake their orgasm. So because communication is so important for a healthy and mutually satisfying sex life, you may very well have to take the initiative in that department.

What Happens When You Don’t Communicate

When you and your partner don’t communicate about sex, it leads to one or both partners being unsatisfied. You’ve got to talk to each other about what you both want and need, and what you like when you’re in bed together! She won’t know what you like and you won’t know what she likes if you don’t talk about it, so you’ll both be a couple of bumbling idiots in the sack, stumbling around blindly, hoping you hit the jackpot and being disappointed when you don’t. Neither of you can expect the other to know exactly what you want and what turns you on, so you have to tell each other.

When you expect your partner to know what to do during sex and they inevitably don’t do it, you’re going to be left sexually frustrated and possibly orgasm-less. The same goes for her! If she expects you to know what to do (and you really don’t) and she doesn’t tell you, you aren’t going to give her the kind of pleasure she wants and needs.

This is going to leave her very unsatisfied and possibly resentful! The problem is, it’s partly her responsibility to communicate with her about what she likes and doesn’t like during sex. Unfortunately, for the reasons mentioned above (and many other reasons) she might not want to talk about it.

Why A Woman Might Not Want To Communicate With You About Sex

Many women don’t like to talk about sex. There are many reasons for this, and if your lover doesn’t want to communicate about intercourse, it may be more than one reason! This can leave a guy feeling confused and wondering what to do. First, take a few minutes to understand her point of view. You already know that some women grow up thinking sex is wrong and that they shouldn’t get pleasure out of sex. However, that’s not the only reason a woman might not want to discuss doing the nasty.

  • She’s never masturbated before and doesn’t know herself what feels good and what doesn’t, so she can’t very well tell you
  • She’s scared of being judged or criticized for what she likes or doesn’t like
  • She’s not confident enough in herself to assert what she wants and needs in the bedroom
  • She’s more worried about your pleasure and you getting off than she is about herself
  • She doesn’t know how to put into words what she wants (or is too shy to use the words that she will inevitably have to use when discussing this type of thing)
  • She has other emotional baggage

These aren’t all the reasons a woman might not want to talk about sex – in fact, since every woman is different and has lived different experiences, the possibilities of a woman being shy about discussing lovemaking are really endless! Take heart though, because even if your girl doesn’t take the initiative to tell you what to do or how to touch her just the right way, you can still glean the information in other ways.

Non-Verbal Communication

Women will almost always give non-verbal cues about what they like and don’t like during sex. Unless you’re having sex with a statue, you’re bound to get some kind of non-verbal feedback on what you’re doing – you just have to be paying attention. Body movements are probably you’re biggest clue here, because even some women who are shy will be too shy to be very vocal during sex. But body movements are often involuntary, so you can use these as sort of a “compass” to tell you if you’re going the right way. Here is some body language that will tell you if you’re on the right track:

  • She bucks her hips towards you and grinds her pelvis against you (either against your face during oral sex or against your penis during intercourse)
  • She begins to breathe heavy and seems as though she is concentrating
  • Her skin turns pink and flushed, particularly in her face and neck
  • Her legs begin to shake
  • Her eyes close or roll back in her head

Her body will also tell you if you’re doing something wrong, or aren’t in the right place:

  • She’ll move slightly to help position you in the right spot (if she does this, go with it! Don’t fight it thinking you’re in the right spot, because you’re not! This movement is very different from what she will do if she’s enjoying it and bucking her hips)
  • She’ll shrink away from you (this usually happens if you’re hurting her in some way – for example, if your facial hair is chafing her or rubbing too hard against her sensitive clitoris)
  • She isn’t breathing heavy and can even talk or carry on a conversation
  • She doesn’t seem as though she’s concentrating or is very into it
  • Her eyes are open and she’s looking around, possibly watching television or checking out photos on the vanity

Apart from body movements, you can use her vocalizations as a clue, although many women won’t make any noise during sex whether they’re enjoying it or not. Here are some ways to tell if she’s enjoying it by listening to what comes out of her mouth:

  •  Again, breathing heavy is a big indicator of pleasure. This may be accompanied by sharp intakes of breath or moans and groans
  • She screams your name, or says, “Oh God!” (This is almost always a winner unless it sounds totally fake)
  • She says disjointed things like, “Yes, Yes!” or “Yeah….right…uh….good…yeah….”

You can also tell if you’re totally bombing it by what she’s saying or how she sounds:

  • She’s screaming your name or other things in a way that sounds less convincing than a porn star in a low budget film
  • Her breathing and vocalizations seem to be on an even keel. For example, a regular “Mmmm” sound that doesn’t seem to be at all connected with what you’re doing or how you’re changing your techniques

Also pay attention to your instincts! As naive as you may be about a woman’s pleasure, if your gut is telling you she’s just not into it, she’s probably not!