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When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?

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Sex ed programs in schools and all over the country can leave a lot to be desired when it comes to learning about sex and when the right time to do it is. How do you know your body is prepared to have sex for the first time? How do you know your body is primed? How do you know that you’re emotionally prepared for it and are prepared to deal with the consequences that having sex (even protected) can sometimes bring? Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you really are prepared – or if you should wait.

Question: I feel ready to have sex. I know it and I have no doubts about it. So emotionally, I’m more than OK. But physically, when is the right age for a woman to have sex? I got my period 2 years ago and I am WELL informed on birth control and STD’s. I even know how to put on a condom.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pii3A2BNYZI&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex

It’s easy to think you’re emotionally prepared for it because this is something that pretty much every sex ed program in the country doesn’t discuss. In fact, with the far majority of sex ed programs discussing how to say “no” and the benefits of abstinence, very few of them actually do approach the topic of when the right time actually is.

There are many consequences that having sex can bring, and thinking through the consequences before actually doing it is an important part of becoming emotionally prepared to do it for the first time.

Thinking Through The Consequences

Before you make the decision to have sex, take some time to imagine the different consequences that could arise from having sex right now. Think about what you might do in a given situation, and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and get on the same page with them about what actions you both would take if one of these situations would arise.

What Will You Do If You Get Pregnant?

Even if you take steps to protect yourself during intercourse (such as using condoms), the risk of an unwanted pregnancy still exists. In fact, even with condoms, spermicide, birth control and pulling out, there still is a tiny, tiny chance that an egg could become fertilized. Having safer sex is all about reducing your risks, however, you must realize that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from it completely.

That said, take some time to think about what would happen if you actually did become pregnant after having sex. What options are available to you? Would you consider abortion, or adoption? Would you consider rearranging your life to raise a baby? Think about the steps you would take if you were to get pregnant so you have a plan of action if the situation would actually come up.

What Will You Do If You Get A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Any sex ed program will tell you – even if you use condoms during sex, it is possible to contract an STD from a partner that is infected. Before committing to have sex, think about what protection you’re going to put into place to reduce your risk of getting an STD. Will you use condoms? Will you get regular STD and HIV testing done? Will you require your partner to have an STD test?

You may also want to do some research on how different STD’s are transmitted and how they are treated. HIV is a very scary disease, but with modern technology and medical treatments, the life expectancy of an HIV positive person is almost that of a healthy person. Some STD’s are treated with antibiotics, while others cannot be “cured.”

What Will You Do If You Break Up With The Person You Lost Your Virginity To?

Condoms and birth control can reduce your risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, however, they can’t reduce the risk you take of not being with the person you lost your virginity to forever. Before committing to taking this step with someone, take some time to think out how you might feel if you end up breaking up with the person you lost your virginity to. Are you going to be emotionally or mentally scarred? Will you be able to move on with your life and still have healthy relationships with others?

When Your Body Lets You Know You’re Ready For Reproduction

This is basic sex ed – a girl’s body is prepared for reproduction when she begins having her period. This simply means that the ovaries are dropping eggs and because they’re unfertilized, a girl has her period and sheds the lining of the uterus. It actually has nothing to do with whether a girl is really prepared for it or not, because just because your body is saying that it is primed to make a baby, doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to go there.

More and more girls are starting to get their periods at a younger age, sometimes even as young as ten or eleven (and in rare cases, even younger than that). This solidifies the fact that just because a girl has started her period, it does not mean she is ready to have sex with a man.

No One Can Decide For You

Remember that deciding to have sex (or not to have sex) is something that only you can decide for yourself. Your parents may not want you to do it yet and your friends may be urging you to do it, but only you and your partner can decide when the right time to have intercourse really is. And even if your partner decides that he’s prepared, the ultimate decision is really up to you and you alone. Don’t let anyone try to take your decision away from you.

Make Sure You’re With The Right Person

While you may feel emotionally and physically ready to have intercourse for the first time, stop and think about if you’re really with the right person. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to lose my virginity to this person?” Make sure your partner is someone that you care deeply about (and who also cares deeply about you) and that they’re someone you can truly trust and depend on. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it, because you could be making a huge mistake.

If you wait until you’re really prepared to have intercourse and you wait until you’re in the right relationship, it is going to be much better and much more rewarding than if you had simply given in to someone you really didn’t care about just to get it over with.

Keep The Laws In Mind

While the last thing you’re probably thinking about is when you’re legally okay to have sex, if you’re younger than eighteen, it’s important to think about the legal aspect of things. Statutory rape is not something your partner wants on his record (if he’s older than you). It’s also something that you don’t want on your record if you’re older than eighteen and your partner is younger. Keep in mind that the legal age to give sexual consent is usually eighteen and is actually seventeen in some states. Play it safe and make sure you’re keeping everything legal.

Get Informed

Don’t assume that your local sex ed program is going to give you all the information you need to know on having intercourse and how to do it safely, especially if the only sex ed program offered in your area is an abstinence only course. Take some time to research the different aspects of sex, how to enjoy it, how to make your partner enjoy it and how to keep it safe, fun and clean. Think about oral and anal sex too, and how to stay safe during those activities too. Remember that knowledge is power.

Sex – What Guys REALLY Want (And What They’re Afraid To Tell You)

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When it comes to sex, every guy has their preferences. However, there are some things that pretty much every guy wants a woman to do. The thing is, there are so few guys that actually want to tell their lovers what they want! Ladies, while reading his mind is pretty much impossible, take these cues to find out what your guy likes – and then surprise him with his secret sex fantasy!

They Want A Girl Who Will Masturbate (In Front Of Him)

Some women feel that it’s the guys’ job to make her feel good. Most guys don’t have any problem providing their partner with a mind blowing orgasm, however, sometimes they wish that a girl would take charge of her own sexual pleasure. Ladies, it requires at least a little effort on your part to get yourself in the mood, so why not take it a little further?

A lot of guys (okay, most) would love to watch their girl masturbate, especially if she had no idea he was there watching. What is so hot about this is that during female masturbation, he gets to watch you touch yourself exactly how you like to be touched. There’s no guessing if it’s the right thing or it feels good. He gets to see first hand what really turns you on and it will turn him on like wild fire!

They Want To Watch – In The Mirror

Guys are visual creatures – that’s pretty much a given. A lot of men enjoy watching porn for that specific reason, but does that mean that they enjoy watching the other women because they’re hotter than you or because they turn him on more than you? Absolutely not! In fact, your guy would probably give his eye teeth to actually watch you and him getting it on!

Filming a naughty video together is great fun, but there’s always the risk that it will get out, especially if you and your man don’t work out in the end. Instead, surprise him by installing a full length mirror in your bedroom – the bigger, the better. Allow him to watch you getting it on – he’ll love getting to watch it in real time, as it’s happening and he’ll love getting to feel exactly what he’s seeing. Try lots of different sex positions so he can see you from every angle.

They Want A Girl Who Is Not Afraid To Get Dirty

Let’s face it – guys don’t want to get it on with a prude. If all you’re into is the missionary position, he’s probably not going to be that into you. Almost every guy wants to get busy with a girl who isn’t afraid to bring on the kink! Try out a little light bondage to get started, and then move into something a little naughtier.

Whether you’re indulging his secret sex fetish or coming to bed wearing nothing but tall, black stilettos and a rhinestone necklace, he’s going to love that you’re showing off your naughty girl side.

They Want A Girl To Take Control

Sometimes guys want to have the reigns, but other times they want the girls to be in control over what happens and when. They just want to lie back and relax, while you savor every inch of their body. Surprise him one night by tying him up (this is optional if he’s not into bondage) and having your way with him! Let him lie there and get a good look at you while you give him oral sex, then go for the woman-on-top or reverse cowgirl sex position, depending on what he likes to look at best – your breasts or your butt.

They Want A Girl Who Will Give A Blowjob – And Likes It

Sure, most girls will give a guy a blowjob. Some won’t. The true gem, however, is the girl who loves giving a guy a blowjob! Blowjobs are probably in the #1 spot on the list of “Sex Acts That Guys Can’t Live Without.” Think about this – how enjoyable is it when a guy goes down on you like it’s a chore and like he really doesn’t want to be down there? It kind of puts a damper on the whole thing, doesn’t it?

Give your guy a blowjob like you never have before. Act like you’re starving to death or it will be the end of the world if you don’t get him in your mouth right now. Make sure that he knows you’re really enjoying going down on him by making pleasure noises while you lick and suck him, and making eye contact with him. He’ll really appreciate your enthusiasm and he just very well might return the favor!

They Want Rough Sex

Every guy wants to pound a girl into orgasmic frenzy, but very few men will actually tell their partners that. This is usually because he’s afraid to hurt her.  If you enjoy rough sex, don’t be shy about it with your lover. Next time you have sex with your man, assume the doggy style position and tell him that you want it fast and you want it hard. He’ll happily oblige!

Sometimes rough sex can become unsafe, so it’s important to take a few precautions first. Decide beforehand on a safe word so that if it becomes too much, you can use the word to let your partner know that you want it to stop immediately. Don’t forget to use lots of lube!

They Want A Girl Who Has Confidence

Confidence is sexy! Unfortunately, lots of women – no matter how hot or how beautiful they are – are insecure about themselves and the way they look and have low self esteem. However, what your guy sees when he looks at you (especially when he looks at you naked) is not the same as what you see in the mirror. Let go of your insecurities and inhibitions and look at yourself the way your partner looks at you. See what he sees and show it off! Men love women who have the confidence to show their bodies off during sex, because men love naked women – period.

How To Make After-Sex Moments Romantic

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After sex, guys are notorious for rolling over and going to sleep. Girls, on the other hand, may get up and rush to the bathroom to get cleaned up right after a man ejaculates inside her. However, these activities can absolutely kill any romantic mood you had going and make the sex seem less than amazing. Try these tips to bask in the after-sex glow and turn up the romance after getting busy.

Get Unplugged

In the age of technology, hardly anyone goes anywhere without their laptops, Kindles or iPhones and this includes the bedroom. Your guy may want to flip on the game after doing it, while you may want to text your best friend to tell her the amazing new thing your man did during oral sex.

Instead of turning on the television, checking your email or uploading a book to your e-reader, take some time to get unplugged after having sex. If you have to, turn everything off before you get busy so you’re not tempted. You may want to even go so far as to turn off your phones so that no one can bother you while you enjoy some quiet time with your partner after an amazing orgasm or two.

Soap Down With An After-Sex Shower

You and your lover may both want to clean up after sex, but that doesn’t mean you have to make it all business and no fun. Shower sex is great, but you can make having a shower after sex just as much fun! Light some candles or use dimmer switches if you have them and create a little ambiance before you start the water. You can also use your favorite scented body wash or soap and make an event out of it.

Relish the feel of your partner’s skin underneath your hands as you lather up, taking special care of his package to show your partner how good it made you feel just minutes earlier. Wash each other’s hair, giving each other a nice scalp massage in the process. After your shower, put on some comfortable pajamas and head to bed. You’ll both feel amazing after having great sex, great orgasms, a long hot shower and slipping into something that feels nice!

Do A Reverse Strip Tease

After having morning sex, it’s often depressing to watch your partner put their clothes on to get ready for the day. Instead of letting it bum you out, give your partner a sexy, reverse strip tease by putting their clothes on for them. Slowly put your partner’s underwear and socks on, kissing their stomach and legs as you go.

Then, button his shirt up slowly, looking him directly in the eyes as you do it. Finish by putting on his tie for him. He’ll love feeling your hands all over him as you put his clothes on, and you’ll really make him feel like you love him. Make it even sexier by doing a reverse strip tease for him, by slowly putting your clothes on while he watches. Make sure it’s something sexy!

Have A Romantic Meal Afterwards

Most big dates are planned with the romantic dinner at the start of the date and sex afterwards. Instead of going the cliche route, mix it up a little by having sex first and then heading out (or staying in) for a romantic meal! It’s a great way to keep things fresh and exciting without going too far outside your box.

If you don’t feel like going out, order in your favorite meal and have it delivered (and eat it off each other if you like!) or serve something simple like wine and cheese or hors d’oeuvres. Top it off with a relaxing nightcap for the perfect evening!

Make Out

Making out is often what preludes sex, but why not make it the follow up event? Instead of simply going to sleep, heading off to work or doing other mundane things after having mind blowing sex with your lover, try spending several minutes just kissing him deeply and enjoying the feel of each other.

Part of what makes making out less fun when you’re in a relationship with someone is that you pretty much know where it’s going to lead. Pretty soon, you’ll feel a hand on your breast or butt and the game will be on. By making out with your lover after sex, you bring back the element of surprise that made just kissing so much fun when you and your partner first got together!

What Are The Side Effects Of Oral Birth Control?

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Oral birth control is a very popular form of birth control and is often used alone or with other methods (such as condoms) to prevent unwanted pregnancy. However, oral birth control isn’t for everyone. There are a number of side effects that go along with taking it, ranging from a little weight gain to more serious side effects such as stroke and decreased libido. Here’s what you want to know about oral birth control and its associated side effects.
Question: I was wondering if you could do a video on the side effects of oral birth control. By this, I don’t mean what we normally hear like weight gain and possibility of a stroke (if you smoke while on the pill), but I mean the stranger side effects like loss of sex drive, insomnia, and depression! I know it didn’t even strike me that the pill could cause these things, so I’m betting other people don’t know either. So if you could make a video to help inform woman of some of these strange side effects, I think that would be really great! Thanks!
–YouTube Viewer
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LZWM6KXuDk[/youtube]
Quick Birth Control Facts
  • Oral birth control is 99.9% effective against pregnancy when used correctly – that means, taking it at about the same time every single day.
  • It does not prevent STD’s of any kind, including HIV, AIDS, chlamydia, herpes, etc.
  • Antibiotics and other medicines will reduce the effectiveness of birth control.
  • Women on birth control should not smoke due to increase in rare but very serious side effects.

Common Birth Control Side Effects

There are many side effects that are caused by oral birth control, ranging from very mild side effects to more serious ones. Some women who take birth control won’t experience any side effects at all, others may experience some side effects that aren’t bothersome, and others may experience very serious and uncomfortable side effects that may mean they need to discontinue using the medication.

  • Nausea
  • Weight gain
  • Sore or swollen breasts
  • Spotting between periods or lighter periods
  • Mood changes
  • Decreased sexual libido

More Serious Birth Control Related Side Effects

While most of the side effects that are related to birth control aren’t serious, some of them are and require immediate medical attention. These side effects are more rare, but they can happen. Every woman who takes birth control should be aware of the more rare but serious side effects of the medication so they can contact their doctor as soon as possible if they experience any of these more serious side effects.

  • Abdominal pain
  • Chest pain
  • Visual disturbances such as blurred vision or spots or flashes in your vision
  • Mild headaches or severe migraines
  • Swelling and aching in the legs and thighs

Other Forms Of Hormonal Birth Control

You may think that the “pill” is the only form of birth control that has side effects, but quite the opposite is true. Many popular forms of birth control contain the very same mix of hormones that the pill does! Other forms of hormonal birth control can be even stronger than some pills and can produce similar but stronger side effects than the those associated with the pill.

  • The Ortho Evra patch
  • The Nuva ring
  • Mirena – the hormonal IUD (intra-uterine device)
  • Depo-Provera injection and other birth control injections
  • Hormonal implants
  • Plan B – the “morning after” pill

Barrier Methods

While oral birth control is among the most popular ways to practice safe sex, it is not the only way. Oral birth control doesn’t protect against sexually transmitted diseases, but some other methods of safe sex (called “barrier” methods) do.

  • Condoms – protects against STD’s
  • Female condoms – protects against STD’s
  • Copper IUD
  • Diaphragm
  • Cervical Cap
  • Spermicidal sponge, foam, cream or film

Talk To Your Doctor To Find Out If Birth Control Is Right For You

Always talk to your doctor to find out whether or not oral birth control or other forms of birth control is right for you. Your doctor can help explain to you why you should or should not take birth control, and will tell you how to use it correctly so it is most effective. Some women should not take birth control at all, because the risk of side effects are too great. Your doctor will look at your entire health history to determine whether or not hormonal birth control is the right choice for your health and lifestyle.

Who should not take birth control:

  • Women over 35
  • Women with a history of blood clots
  • Women with a history of heart or liver disease
  • Women with a history of breast or uterine cancer
  • Women who have experienced undesirable side effects from birth control previously

5 Tips For Better Lovemaking

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Here are five really simple ways to make your lovemaking more hot, steamy and passionate – starting tonight!

Find Your Partner’s “Hidden” Zones

I call these “hidden” zones because many people don’t realize, or forget, that these areas of the body LOVE attention. While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, breasts, inner thighs and genitals, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even intensify their orgasm.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner.

Set A Romantic Mood

People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of your lovemaking is too “cliché.” Are they kidding?!? Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

Give Them A Sensual Massage

Why stop at setting the mood? Go one step further and give your partner an erotic massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable.

Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “under the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place. And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with an experience they’ll never forget.

Please Your Partner With More Oral Sex

Did you know that oral sex is a great way to strengthen your relationship? Think about it. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. Not to mention it’s great for men who want to relax without pressure to perform, and for women who can’t reach orgasm from only intercourse. In short, it’s an important part of foreplay. Here are some tips for both men and women.

LADIES: Women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straight away when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches. This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation.

GENTLEMAN: A mistake men often make is moving their tongue in a thrusting fashion, when stimulating the vagina and clitoris orally. Instead, they should lick it like an ice cream cone. Another great tip to keep things exciting is to write the alphabet around the clitoris with your tongue.

Constantly Explore And Try New Things

If I could only give you one piece of advice for better lovemaking, it would be this: become adventurous and creative.

Nothing is stopping you from red-hot passion except your level of creativity. Try new sex positions, do it somewhere new, or spice up your foreplay with a game. Let’s face it, the basic act of lovemaking, no matter how hard you try, is always kiss and thrust, but it’s HOW you do it and the way you make your partner feel that really counts.

By dedicating time to finding new things, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come.