Sex Tips & Advice

4 Things NOT To Do To Your Man In The Bedroom

There are tons of sex tips out there that tell you what you should be doing in the bedroom, what you need to try and how to make your sex life hotter. But there aren’t a lot of tips out there that tell you what not to do to your guy in the bedroom and many girls end up making some serious sexual mistakes simply because they don’t know any better. Rarely will these mistakes cost you a guy, but it’s possible. Here’s what to avoid in the bedroom so you can keep things going smoothly.

Spanking Or Slapping (Or Biting) Without Permission

Lots of guys love spanking, slapping and biting during sex and lots of girls love it too. But there are definitely some guys that think spanking, slapping and biting should never enter the budior. How can you tell if your man likes or doesn’t like getting a little slap on his tush as he’s thrusting without straight up asking him? You can’t. You might be tempted to try it in the heat of the moment, but doing so can definitely backfire on you if he’s not into whatever you did. In fact, it could kill the mood right then and there. If you want to try spanking or even biting, ask permission first. Let him know that it really turns you on and you’d love to try it with him. Chances are, he’ll give you the green light and enjoy it, but you definitely don’t want to suprise him out of the blue with something like that.

Calling Him Weird Names

Ok, most girls know this one but here it is for the few who aren’t sure. Don’t ever call him “Daddy” in the bedroom. Ever. Really, ever. And the same goes for strange names for him or his penis, including “manmeat, man sausage, horse penis, etc.” You get the picture. Although many of these strange names for different parts of his anatomy or nicknames for him crop up in erotic novels or porn, they actually don’t do that well in the bedroom in real life. Seriously, do you want him calling your vagina a “love hole” or telling you that he enjoys licking your “love juices” off your thighs? Instead, find better ways to tell him what you like or talk dirty to him. If nothing comes to mind, a few simple moans and groans will suffice. Anything is better than calling his member “man sausage.”

Forgetting To Use Lube

Believe it or not, lots of girls forget to use lube when giving a handjob or even when they’re having sex. Sure, when having sex, the vagina will naturally help lubricate things (rarely is it enough though) but forgetting to use lube when giving a hand job is a carnal no-no. Your guy might be too shy to tell you that it doesn’t feel good or even that it hurts, making you think that you’re doing fine when you’re actually ripping the skin off his penis. Ok, not really, but you get the idea. Handjobs without lube hurts. Sex without a good amount of lube hurts too. It’s much better to be safe than sorry, so keep a bottle of lube by the bed or a travel size bottle in your purse. It may sound silly, but you’ll be so glad you did. And so will he.

Forgetting How To Spit (Or Swallow) Discreetly

When giving a blowjob, you have to find something to do with his semen once he ejaculates. There are several options for you to choose from, however, it’s important to decide what you want to do before it actually happens. If you freeze up when he ejaculates because you don’t have a plan, you may very well ruin his orgasm. If you like to swallow, go for it. This is the easiest way to go and it’s virtually mess free. Just keep a glass of water by the bed if you do. If you want to spit, come prepared with a towel and do so discreetly after he’s enjoyed his orgasm. If you don’t want semen in your mouth at all, come prepared with some flavored lube that you can use when he’s close you can back off for a handjob when he’s about to have an orgasm. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you know what you’re going to do beforehand and come prepared. You could be the best blowjob giver in the world but if you choke when it comes to finishing him off smoothly and seamlessly, you really could ruin everything.

10 Easy Ways You Can Make Sex Better For Her – And You!

By loveandsex

Making sex better for her is the key to making sex better for you. If she’s satisfied, you’ll have better sex more often rather than going days or even weeks in between having sex. Here are 10 easy ways you can make sex better for her – and yourself – so you can start spicing up your sex life tonight!

Oral Sex Techniques

Lick her clitoris. Start slow, and then build up speed until she’s literally shaking underneath you! One great trick is to use what is called the “alphabet method.” Lick the letters of the alphabet on your partner’s clitoris slowly, and go faster as her body responds to what you’re doing. Bet you don’t make it through the alphabet twice!

Finger her while you go down on her. Many women really enjoy having both g-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation at the same time. In fact, this is one of the best ways to give her a “blended orgasm” or a g-spot and a clitoral orgasm at the same time!

Explore every inch of her vagina with your tongue. Too many men focus only on the clitoris and forget that the rest of the vagina is sensitive as well. Lick up and down her vagina with your tongue, switching from a pointed tongue to a flat tongue that “laps.” You can also practice “french kissing” her vagina. Wrap your lips around her folds and “kiss” her like you would kiss her mouth. She’ll love it!

Kissing Techniques

Kiss her slowly and deeply. Women love kissing, and it helps them to feel physically and emotionally connected to their partners. Also, deep french kissing can be a teaser to what you’re going to do next when you eat her out!

Kiss her body. Involving her whole body in sex is a great way to get her mind completely involved in sex as well. Don’t allow her to lay back and let the day’s to-do list occupy her mind. Instead, get her whole body involved with your mouth like you can’t get enough of her.

Intercourse Techniques

Let her be on top. It is easier for a woman to reach orgasm when she’s on top versus when you are on top. This is because she controls her muscles, the movement and the positioning and can control her climax.

Go slow. It takes time for a woman to build up an orgasm, especially through intercourse. If you start out hard and fast, it’s likely she won’t have time to have an orgasm at all. Instead, go slow until she reaches climax and then you can go as hard and as fast as you want.

Push your pelvis forward. Provide your partner with clitoral stimulation during intercourse by pushing your pelvis forward to grind against hers. You can also add a dollop of lube just above your groin to make the sensations even better for her.

Using Your Hands

Touch her everywhere. Don’t just focus on the hot spots! Instead, run your hands up and down her body as though she were made of silk or cashmere. Make her feel like she is made of silk or cashmere!

Hold her hands during sex. Whether you’re going down on her or having sex, hold her hands and make her feel cherished. Feeling emotionally satisfied from sex is as important to a woman as feeling physically satisfied.

How To Be The Best Lover She’s Ever Had

By loveandsex

Every guy wants to be the best lover his girl has ever had, and he probably wants to be the best lover that every one of his past girlfriends have ever had too. It’s part of the natural competitiveness that just about every man has. They simply want to be the best at everything, even sex. But it’s difficult to know for sure if you really are the best lover she’s ever had, or if she’s had much better sex before you. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can really be the best lover in the world to her, without taking pills to make your penis larger or just being an all around sex god. Here’s what to do to make her want you and only you.

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Avoid Comparisons In The First Place

It’s natural for men to want to compare themselves to each other, regardless of whether he’s got the better car, the biggest penis or the better washboard abs. It’s just something that men do. However, most women consider a man’s need to compete with other men just plain silly and don’t want to have anything to do with it. So you likely won’t get an answer at all if you ask her if you’re better in bed than all her other boyfriends. Instead of trying to compare yourself to your partner’s other lovers, simply check your ego at the door. There’s no comparison between you and them, because you’re you and they’re them. You and her other lovers will be similar in some ways and completely different in others, and that’s actually a good thing. If she wanted exactly what her other lovers had to offer, she wouldn’t be with you, now would she?

Learn From Those Who Came Before You

If she had a lover or two that really drove her wild, instead of bristling at that fact, use the information to your advantage. Her being more experienced in the sex department is actually something that will benefit you and your sex life with her. She’ll know more about what she likes and what she doesn’t, and she may even know more about pleasuring you too. Ask her what her previous lovers did that made her so hot and try to re-enact what they did yourself. Did they lick her clitoris a certain way or finger her g-spot just right? Or did they roleplay with her and fulfill her wildest fantasies? Even if you don’t get it exactly right the first time, ask her what you need to be doing differently, without copping an attitude about it. This takes a lot of guts and requires you to put your “manliness” aside, but the results are well worth it. Your partner will truly appreciate your effort at pleasing her, and she will definitely enjoy you when you’re not being defensive about her previous lovers. It’s very likely that with effort on your part and communication on hers that you can learn to perform as well as her previous partners, if not better! You’ll not only learn what they did to make her squirm, but you will also learn new ways to pleasure her too.

Master The Basics

Many guys think that if they’re “experienced” in the sex department (i.e. watched porn or had a few sex partners) that they automatically know everything there is to know about giving a woman an orgasm. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! A lot of guys don’t know all the ways you can pleasure a woman and many guys don’t even know the basics and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’ve never taken the time to research ways to pleasure your partner, now is definitely the time. There are tons of resources available that will teach you more about a woman’s anatomy and how you can use fingering and oral sex to make her beg for more. Remember that porn is actually one of the worst examples on how to please a woman sexually, so check out an e-book or a helpful website if you’re looking for tips on how to give her a fantastic orgasm. Some sex tips are pretty basic, but if you’ve never found a woman’s g-spot or her clitoris (or stimulated both at the same time), you have a lot to learn before you can really drive your girl wild. Take some time to learn a few new things that you can try in the bedroom and watch as your partner forgets all about her past lovers and is focused only on you!

How To Create A Connection That Will Last Before Having Sex

By drbonnieeakerweil

Earlier, I looked at a recent study by the University of Iowa that found that relationships that start with a spark and not much else aren’t necessarily doomed from the get-go. However, in the study, UI sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships.

It just takes a bit of common sense to figure out that rushing into things sexually before knowing a few of the basics about someone probably won’t end favorably unless you’re lucky. And because basing a relationship on luck isn’t a great idea either, here are a few ways to bring up some initial compatability issues before making a physical or sexual commitment to someone.

Address These Issues With A Potential Mate Before Hopping In The Sack

Talk about money. Yes, it’s a touchy subject and I’m not suggesting you delineate how much each person makes, but finding out where financial priorities lie can be important. Talk about how money has been used in their family: worries, abandonment, shame, blame around money. Questions like this will eliminate any problems or irreconcilable differences, and is a way to see who is flexible and who is not, in reference to money and power, and struggles over money. I talk about the importance of this discussion and further techniques in my book, Financial Infidelity.

Embrace conflict. Another important tip in the compatibility of a relationship is to make sure you fight fair. Even new, exciting, young relationships have their share of conflict as you get to know eachother, and while you may not face intense, knock-down, drag-out fights early on, it is essential to walk in your partner’s shoes rather than trying to be right. Instead of shame and blame you should give three solutions, and your partner has to pick at least one. Fighting fairly creates the tension that gives you passion and makes you feel safe.

Make the first move! I suggest women should make the first move in connecting for a first date and getting past that possible lull of uncertainty. If you like him, tell him! (But, PS, texting and emailing during the day can actually deflate the spark of in-person romance!)

There’s a happy medium between putting off physical intimacy forever (unless that’s something you’ve mutually decided on) and jumping in right away. These techniques can help you get to know each other better in the interim and ensure that you’re ready for the next step, when you get to that point.

Blue Clitoris – Can Girls Get ‘Blue Balls’?

By leejenkins

We all know that men can have what’s called the “blue balls” phenomenon. This happens when a man cannot release by climaxing for various reasons. He might have been holding out for too long because he wants to last longer for the sake of his partner’s pleasure, or his sexual mood may have been destroyed.

A woman can have what we call “blue clitoris” for the same reasons.

The clitoris is structurally similar to the penis. Any book on anatomy would tell you that the penis and the clitoris are made out of the same stem cells and both organs react in a similar manner to direct sexual stimulation.

When a woman feels the urge to have sex, her clitoris becomes infused with blood and tightens into a pink taut bud. The tension builds until orgasm ensues, after which the blood drains from the clitoris and it goes back to being the soft fold of skin on top of the woman’s inner lips.

Because you know the pain of having blue balls, you should know that it’s equally painful for women to experience “blue clitoris.”

Mood Break

If you’re petting in a public place and you’ve been heavily petting, someone or something might happen to destroy the mood completely. The same goes when you’re having sex and the doorbell rings. Don’t be surprised when you see your girlfriend walking in an odd manner when these things happen. Besides the discomfort below her belly (along the navel area); her clitoris might be feeling sore as it uncomfortably rubs against her panties in its hardened state.

Unfulfilled Fantasy

During sex, your girlfriend might be harbouring a fantasy that keeps her aroused. It could be the same fantasy that she uses as masturbation fuel when she’s alone. When she looks up and realizes that you’re nothing like the “you” inside her fantasy, she might lose her mood completely even if her clitoris is still hard.

What you can do is discuss her fantasy during your lovemaking so that you can act like the way you usually do in her daydreams. Communication is the key to good sex, and if you manage to get her talking to you in fantasy mode, you know you’re on the right track.

You Had Your Climax Too Soon

Most guys can pick up where they left off when it comes to sex, that’s why the tension remains high even when you change positions. The sensation may vary, like when you shift from blow job to penetration, but the sexual tension in you will remain high.

Unfortunately, women are not capable of picking up where they left off. If you get her close to orgasm by penetration then you suddenly climax, she won’t be able to climax soon after, even if she manages to fondle her clitoris like mad after you’ve climaxed. When you climax before a woman, one of the consequences is that you may have to deal with is her “blue clitoris.”