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How To Set The Mood For Dirty Talk

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Dirty talk can revamp your sex life like nothing else – but you have to create a great mood first. Here’s how to introduce dirty talk into YOUR bedroom!

Using Your Voice

Dirty talk has to sound sexy. If you say “that feels great” in a very monotone, unexcited voice, then that is not very sexy. Put emotion into your dirty talk. Whispering and breathy comments can be quite sexy. Grunt, moan and make noises – varying the tone and the pitch occasionally so that it does not get monotonous. Scream or shout when you are really into it. Also, you aren’t giving commands like a Colonel or Major to his enlisted men.

The goal here is for both of you to be conveying to each other the passion and intensity of your encounter. It CAN and SHOULD be fun, not work. Imagine the basic tone of a football game. Everyone in the stadium has high expectations but as the game begins, as a sports fan, it starts out slow. We aren’t up off the couch screaming at the players at the top of our lungs from the coin toss.

Start dirty talk slowly – whispers and playful dialogue as you are kissing, and as you are face to face while first getting things warmed up. As the passion heats up you can change the tone and level of your voice to mimic the pace of what is happening in the room. If you’re further apart, or if he’s behind you, you’re going to need to be louder so that mid-stroke someone’s not saying “I’m sorry, honey what did you say??” That’s a sure fire way to break the momentum you have been building.

Another good example is a piece of symphony music. The first notes of the musical composition are not the loudest portions of the piece. The tempo starts out slower, building to the climatic heights in the middle, and then descending at the end.

Imagine your lovemaking as the same. A beautifully written musical form that should keep a pace that reflects the given situation. A lovemaking session where you have a whole night to play and explore would have a different tempo from one where you’re squeezing in a quickie between dinner and taking the kids to soccer practice.

Setting The Mood

Playing some music during dirty talk helps provide background noise that may make it easier so that you won’t feel so self conscious over the sound of your own voice. Some music also has great lyrics that will inspire you to pull them from the song and use them while using dirty talk with your partner. Have you ever known anyone to NOT be turned on while listening to Marvin Gaye, Barry White or Luther Vandross?

Songs like “Let’s Get It On,” “Sexual Healing,” “Got To Give It Up,” “If Only For One Night” and others are romantic, slow, sensual and have very erotic lyrics while providing great inspiration and setting the tone for a romantic night together.

Candles

Candles placed around the bedroom, living room, bathroom or any other room in your house only elevate the feeling of a close, private, safe haven for the two of you to explore each other.

Bubble Bath

Bubble baths are a great way to relax and spend a little more time with foreplay before hitting the sheets. Sitting in the tub together is a great way to start and work up some additional desire. By the time you have washed each others backs and played around in the bubbles, you maybe find yourself never even making it to the bed.

Aromatherapy

Perfumes and bed linen sprays are another way to set the mood for dirty talk in your bedroom. Spritz the pillow cases or the ceiling fan ahead of time so that the room takes on a special scent before it’s time to play. Once you’ve worn a special fragrance during an encounter and your lover smells it on you again, it will take you back to the moments you spent wrapped around each other in the heat of passion.

Wine, Or Your Drink Of Choice

Bring a bottle of wine to bed and poor some slowly into her belly button. Sip it out and then do the same to your partner. Ladies, when he’s going down on you, take a little wine and pour it into a shot glass. Pour it slowly from the top of your mound and it will drip down the inner creases of your thighs – ask him to lick it up. This is an excellent way to put a new twist on oral sex!

Dirty Talk Fiascoes To Avoid!

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Dirty talk can end up being a complete failure if you don’t steer clear of these warning signs! If you attempt to jump full throttle in to dirty talk, your partner could wonder where you suddenly came up with the idea and might even think that you’ve been having an affair or watching porn.

Be Honest With Your Partner From The Start

You will need to assure them from the get-go that this is something you want to try with them instead of just springing some hardcore phrases on them during the middle of a romp. A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for Academy Awards for a very good reason.

You could find that your better half finds dirty talk uncomfortable and off-putting. Some consider it to be raunchy and a put down to a person they love. Some heart to heart communication and a give and take attitude between two people who love each other should be able to put the uncomfortable one at ease. Be patient with the partner who has reservations and just use soft pillow talk from time to time to warm them to the idea.

Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up – reread some of the suggestions from time to time if you are feeling like you haven’t quite got it yet.

Be Yourself When Using Dirty Talk

Women, please don’t try to be who you are not. Faking an orgasm and screaming like it’s the best sex you’ve ever had will only cause problems down the road. He’ll wonder why he can’t get you that worked up EVERY time when you get tired of pretending and you will eventually tire of faking it and long to really be satisfied. At that point, and rightly so, he’ll be frustrated and unsure of why he suddenly can’t put you into the throws he saw you ‘act’ your way through before.

When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. Threesomes, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life.

Be aware that it can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “your penis is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. Telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size could backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that he rubs your clitoris so perfectly or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you.

Mix It Up

Dirty talk can also become redundant (just like missionary sex day after day after day). Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases, over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Okay, I’ve heard that so many times – please shut up already.”

Dirty Talk: Practice Makes Perfect!

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Dirty talk can be intimidating if you’ve never done it before. But if you do it over and over, you’ll get better at it – and you can make your sex life HOT! If you are new to dirty talk, you will most likely need some practice so that you are comfortable with the act when it’s time to begin.

How To Get Used To It

You can practice just like you would for a speech and even do it in front of the mirror. Try doing it out loud while you masturbate. You can practice with sexting, writing short notes or via email (but be very careful when sending to a work email address!)

Allow yourself some fantasy time and as your mind wanders as to what it is you’d like to be doing, jot it down. Once you give yourself room for self expression and the permission to write down these sexual thoughts that are floating around inside your head, you will find out just what kind of phrases turn you on. Choose a few at a time to spring on your spouse the next time you’re in bed together. Some people find it much easier to put the words down and use letters as a way of beginning their exploration into dirty talk. The more you use stimulating conversation the easier it gets and it will become like second nature.

It Takes Two To Tango

Dirty talk works best when it is used as a dialogue. No one wants to be doing all of the talking in any conversation. Encourage your partner after they’ve joined in by telling them the next day how hot you thought it was when they said something that sticks out in your mind. If you do this, they won’t be left wondering if anything they uttered was embarrassing or whether you found any of it odd or inappropriate. A little encouragement can go a long, long way.

If your partner is a novice or not very vocal, here are some ways to help get them in the game:

  • Watch an adult movie together that has dirty talk in it – either in the bedroom or out. This can help set the pace.
  • Read a book passage that has some very erotic text – these are very easy to find in most bookstores and are chocked full of plenty of sex scenes. Take turns reading them to each other or hi-lite passages that turn you on when you’re alone so that you can read them during playtime in bed.
  • Pick up a book on erotic poetry. Read portions to each other while rubbing on your partner. Ask them which ones they found the most stimulating while you were reading to them.
  • Write sexy emails back and forth and try to get the dialogue going. (Again, you probably do not need to use work email addresses for this).

Questions To Ask In The Bedroom

  • Do you want me to do it fast or slow tonight?
  • Do you like the feel of my wet ___?
  • Are you ready to shoot your load in me?
  • Where do you want me to ejaculate?

Let your partner start out with “yes” or “no” responses back to these open ended questions. Then encourage them by saying, “please, tell me more,” as they get more comfortable about talking back to you.

Dirty Talk Ideas That Will Make Your Girl BEG For More!

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Dirty talk can make a woman absolutely ecstatic with pleasure – here are some great ways to get started with dirty talk!

Making Erotic Noises

Most everyone is comfortable with erotic noises and it is a very good place to start. They are as natural as making a deep exhaled sigh as you relax down into a hot bubble bath or when you are getting a massage. Moaning, groaning, sighs and breathy exhales are normal and instinctive when something feels so very, very good.

“Nice” Phrases

Nice phrases are simple, yet effective, and step two to the process. They are an easy way to dip your toes in the water of dirty talk and will add a little excitement to your romp.

  • “Yes, right there!”
  • “Oh yeah, that’s nice.”
  • “You smell wonderful.”
  • “That feels soooooo good!”
  • “I am so happy to be wrapped up here with you.”
  • “Your mouth feels amazing.”
  • “I have been thinking about doing this to you all day long.”

HOT, HOT, HOT Phrases!

Once you have mastered some erotic sounds you will feel a little more comfortable vocalizing with your mate. Try adding some of these hotter phrases, but feel free to change up the ‘body part’ words with what you are most comfortable with. Below are some examples:

  • “My panties get wet just thinking about what you are going to do to me.”
  • “I want your ____!”
  • “I love your breasts!”
  • “Oh baby, I want to come all over you.”
  • “Who makes that cock so hard, cowboy?”
  • “Let me suck on those nipples.”
  • I want to ___ you all night long!”
  • “Mmmmm, harder… don’t stop!!”
  • “Can you feel how wet you get me?”
  • “Oh yeah, that’s it, don’t you dare stop _____ me.”
  • “You like banging this slick ____, don’t you?”
  • “Put me on my knees and bang me until I come all over you!”
  • “You are so tight!”

Hardcore Phrases

Edgy, raw and being totally frank about what it is that you want, hard core phrases convey just that. Not for the timid and not the first thing you should throw at your partner during your first ever encounter with dirty talk. Consider this the ultimate walk on the wild side compared to the basic ‘tamer’ talk we just read.

Many couples will never make it to this level. And that’s okay. It is not some video game where the higher you go, the better. It is really all about your partner. If you find that hardcore phrases turn both of you on, then go for it. But if it ruins the lovemaking experience for your beloved, don’t go there. Take it down a notch or two. We are all a little bit different in what rocks our world.

Here are some examples of hardcore dirty talk phrases:

  • “I want your fat cock to spew all up inside me!”
  • “Whip it out and come all over my ____.”
  • “Watch me while I’m sucking your ____.”
  • Get on your knees and suck my _____ dry!”
  • “Do you want to spank my ass while you’re grinding me from behind?”
  • “Tell me you want to swallow my load!!”
  • “Do you want me to deep throat that cock of yours, baby?”
  • “I want you to sit on my face!”
  • “I’m going to ____ that dripping wet ___ all night!”

“Play By Play” Dirty Talk

If you are at a loss for words, you can do “play by play” dirty talk. Simply describe what’s taking place as you are doing it:

  • “Oh yeah, you’re sucking on my nipples and it’s getting me so wet!”
  • “I’m fingering your dripping, wet ____.”
  • “I’m going to climb on top of you and ride you, cowboy.”
  • “I’m going to lift my legs so you can watch yourself _____ me!”
  • “I can see your dripping cock sliding in and out of me from this position and it’s getting me even wetter!!”
  • “I’m going to explode!”

Asking Questions

Asking questions works also, because you can often get a response out of your partner that way and engage them in dirty talk, even if they’ve never done it before or are nervous about doing it.

  • “How hard does my cock feel inside of you?”
  • “Do you like the way my tongue feels on your clitoris?”
  • “How sloppy do you want it to sound when I’m giving you a blowjob?”
  • “Can you feel my cock getting harder inside of you?”
  • “Do you like the way my breasts bounce around when you’re giving it to me like that?”

Use Your Imagination

With dirty talk comes creativity. Use your imagination and speak whatever comes to mind. If you’re really in the moment, what comes out of your mouth is going to be as hot as what you’re doing!

Dirty Talk Fundamentals – Know These & Become A Master Of Sex!

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Dirty talk can spice up your sex life and make it hotter than ever before. These dirty talk secrets will turn you into a SEX god!

Your Mindset

To get into the proper mindset for dirty talk, imagine studying and learning a new language. The first time you tried to wrap your head around say, Spanish, it probably felt like you would never master the skill and in the beginning, this may also feel as awkward.

Try to practice saying a phrase or two that you really find stimulating. Find some examples and make them your own. You don’t want it to feel forced. Once you begin to use some of these techniques, you will build on your intimacy with the rapport between you and your partner and it will begin to flow and become natural for you to speak to each other this way.

The Trust Factor

Real dirty talk is ideally for the married, committed couple and honestly, it is not intended for casual hookups. Its use is for a committed relationship and for the long haul. You may be asking yourself WHY?? It’s the trust factor. It takes a very trusting partnership to be able to lay yourself, so bare and so intimately, on the line with another person. You are exposing your innermost thoughts, sexual fantasies and desires. If you did this with everyone you dated, it would lose its value and worth. Throwing around words or phrase examples you learn is not all that it takes to create a long lasting relationship. It is a tool to build on the sexual intimacy you have already started together and to in turn, make it stronger.

Comfort Level

Back to the “trust” level, it’s important that you both agree that you institute a “STOP” word when the level has gotten too dirty or to signal that one of you is becoming uncomfortable with the situation. Pick one! NOW!!! Make it something fun!! Your stop word can be as simple as “Bridle” – as in to “rein in your horse” – or just a sweet, quick, “Honey, hush.”

“Sponge Bob” is a great word to use if, say, one of you hears the kids up and moving around and you need your partner to know they might hear you or to let them know to turn their vocal volume way down low. Your comfort level will likely change and grow over time as you experiment with each other and find out what works, what doesn’t and expand on your vocabulary.

What’s Offensive And What’s Not

Understand up front, that some words you try may be found to be offensive by your partner. Then again, you may be surprised at the types of words that get your partner turned on. IF there are words that your partner finds offensive, kick it to the curb, and find another word to take its place. Some women may find it offensive to be called a whore, slut or cock-sucker in the bedroom, while others may even encourage it.

Play With Your Location

Dirty talk is fun and gives an added dimension to your regular lovemaking, if your in-laws are visiting and sleeping in the next room or your child is having a slumber party, he or she may not feel like being as verbal. Be flexible!!