Dating means taking risks and knowing you might end up with a dud – but what if they keep coming along?
I just got out of a LTR with a guy who was a huge jerk. There’d been this guy flirting with me for months and since I was single, and he asked me out, I figured, why not?
We went out, back to his place and then we did it. And he never called me again. This loser makes my ex a great catch. Why do I keep finding these types of men?
What She Said:
Not to sound like my Grandma, but don’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch. You broke up with your ex for a reason and there’s no need to go running back to him at the first sign of bad news. Chalk it up to having fun having sex – and also one more step in moving on from your past. It’s shitty what your fling did to you – but that says everything about the type of person he can be and is no reflection on you.
I’m sure he wasn’t lying about being into you. He obviously spent time flirting and thinking about you. It’s more than likely that he dug you, but got scared at the possibility of you actually being single. You were an unobtainable fantasy that became real – and some people can’t handle real. Some guys want what they can’t have – and then don’t want it once they get it. It’s an immature side of human nature. Don’t beat yourself up over it!
Take this as a lesson. Hopefully you were safe and had fun. Now let it go.
Don’t let one night throw you back to the past. Enjoy being single! Focus on the bravery it took to split from your long-time BF and look towards a fabulous future. You have the freedom to create a new life, so get started today!
What He Said:
Shit happens. You got out of a relationship and you made a mistake. It’s a learning experience. It is not the end of the world. As long as you used protection, and you have been tested and all that, what’s the downside? You had some fun and more importantly, you learned an important lesson. Buyer beware. Just because something seems like a good idea, and people have good intentions, that’s not always the case.
And your ex isn’t better. He’s still a douchebag. You just are feeling nostalgic. There’s nothing magical that just happened to make him a better person, lover, etc. Just realize this is a thing that will pass. In time you’ll remember what a loser he is and more importantly, you will find someone better. Someone that you deserve and that makes you feel amazing. Give it time. This is a process and you’re still healing.
It’s a number’s game. Kiss enough frogs and you will find your prince. Relax and enjoy the ride. If you’re doing the work, you should just relax and expect your success. It is coming provided you put yourself out there and minimize your exposure to douchebags.
How do you do that? When you know, you know. If any guy remotely reminds you of your ex. Run. Be very conscious when making your choices and eventually, It’ll all come together.