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What Is The REAL Truth About Anal Sex?

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Anal sex is definitely a touchy subject – is it safe or is it dangerous? If you enjoy having anal sex, how can you make it as safe as possible? Just like any type of sex, there is so much information about related sexually transmitted diseases, anatomy and tips and techniques that it truly can be mind boggling. Here’s what you want to know about anal sex – and more!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Is anal sex really safe? Is it okay to have anal sex? What precautions can you take so you can still enjoy anal sex but do so safely?

–Tom, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjsXOirvKUY&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

No Sex Is Safe

You might be surprised to learn that no sex – oral, anal or vaginal – is technically considered safe. There is always the risk of pregnancy with vaginal sex no matter how much protection you use (although the proper protection such as condoms and birth control greatly reduce that risk) and there’s always the risk of contracting sexually transmitted with any type of sex, no matter how small. So it makes sense that anal sex is never considered “safe” either, and anal sex even has its own risks associated with it. With that in mind, if you choose to have anal sex, definitely take care to make it as safe as you possibly can!

Cleanliness

One risk associated with anal sex that generally isn’t true of other types of sex is the abundance of bacteria in the anal cavity that can spread. If you’re using toys, make sure your toys are clean before and after use, and never, ever use a toy or even a real penis for vaginal sex after anal sex if it hasn’t been cleaned properly first. There are a lot of great toy cleansers on the market today, and if you’re short on cash, hot water and soap work just as well. As an added note, having a bowel movement or even taking a gentle laxative before having anal sex will ensure that while bacteria still remain, solid matter is at a minimum.

Be Reasonable!

Remember that the anal cavity is not self lubricating like the vagina. Use plenty of water based lubricant (oil based lubricants break down latex and if you’re using a condom during anal sex – which is highly recommended whether you’re with a monogamous partner or not – oil based lube will reduce the condom’s effectiveness or even cause it to break) and add more lubricant as needed. Be reasonable with size as well – if you’re partner’s penis is unusually well endowed, you might want to try using a smaller toy or fingers for anal sex play. If you only use toys for anal sex, keep your toys at a reasonable size and opt for ones that have a wide base at the bottom to keep it from slipping in your anal cavity and getting lost – because yes, that can happen!

The Anal Cavity Is Not The Place For Rough Sex

Remember that the anal cavity and anus is not designed for sex the way a vagina is. That doesn’t mean that it’s not possible, just that sex is not this area’s primary purpose. If you like rough sex, the anus is not the place for it. Anal tissues are very delicate and can tear, and overly stretching your anus and anal cavity can lead to the necessity for adult diapers later on. If you choose to have anal sex, be safe, smart and educated and take care of yourself and your partner. It may give you great pleasure, but tearing or stretching your anal cavity can make you unable to have any type of anal sex in the future, in addition to the other problems that come along with that.

What You Need To Know About Anal Sex Toys

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Anal sex is becoming more and more popular among couples as people take the time to learn about anal sex and how it can be stimulating, satisfying and safe!

The most important thing to consider when using sex toys for anal sex is safety – having anal sex is nothing like having vaginal sex because you have to be a lot more careful. Here’s what you need to know about anal sex and the most popular anal sex toys.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’d like to have anal sex using toys – are there toys built just for anal sex? What is the best toy to use?

–Sarah, Idaho

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfd4SnGB7X4&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Before You Begin

Before you begin anal sex, make sure you have what you need on hand, such as plenty of lubricant. Don’t use a numbing lubricant during anal sex, because you could inhibit pain receptors that play an important factor in letting you know if something goes wrong. Anal sex should be introduced slowly and be very aware that anal tissue is more sensitive than vaginal or oral tissue and can tear easily. Remember that the anal cavity is not self lubricating like a vagina is – make sure to use lots and lots of lubricant during anal sex whether you’re having anal sex with your partner or using an anal sex toy.

Which Toys Are Safest?

The safest anal sex toys are those that are designed for anal sex only. Most of these toys have a wide enough base to prevent the toy from “getting lost” in the anal cavity, and this is an important feature to have on an anal sex toy. Many vaginal sex toys don’t have wide bases because a woman’s body prevents toys or other things from getting lost – they can always come out. This isn’t true of the anal cavity though and if something goes too far in, you might need a doctor’s help in getting it out. Make sure your anal toys have a wide base to prevent the toy from slipping to far in the anus. Another benefit of the wide base is that they fit nicely into strap on harnesses, allowing more freedom of sex play both vaginally and anally.

Curved Anal Toys

Anal toys can be fun for both men and women, and men actually have an inner pleasure spot within their anal cavity, similar to a woman’s g-spot. This is called the prostate gland, and you can use a curved anal toy to better stimulate a man’s prostate for increased pleasure and more satisfying anal sex.

Remember The Most Important Thing

The most important thing about having anal sex and using anal sex toys is not only to go slow and only go with what you’re comfortable with, but to have fun! If something is painful, or if you’re just not comfortable with something, find another toy or try another sex activity that works to satisfy both you and your partner. If you like anal sex and enjoy using toys for anal sex, make sure to get the ones that are manufactured specifically for that purpose. If anal sex or anal sex toys just aren’t your thing, there are thousands of different ways to pleasure yourself and your partner that doesn’t involve the backdoor at all. If, however, you really enjoy that backdoor action, keep it safe and keep it fun!

Help! Anal Sex Is The ONLY Way His Penis Stays Hard!

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While a great number of people prefer not to have anal sex or never even bother to try it, many others enjoy anal sex as a part of their sexual repertoire.

Anal sex can be fun and intriguing if you’re smart about it, but what if your partner becomes addicted to anal sex? What do you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful emotional relationship as well as a wonderful physical relationship. He recently convinced me to try anal sex. I hated it at first but after giving it a few extra shots it was ok. He loves it so much! So most of the time I let him finish there. Lately I’ve noticed that if we skip the anal and just stick to vaginal, he can’t finish and just ends up loosing his erection. Am I not tight enough anymore in comparison?? I am 20 and he is 32… Is there a possibility that he is loosing his drive?

— Frustrated Girl

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTQvOH40_1k[/youtube]

Is This A Medical Issue?

Enjoying anal sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Lots of people enjoy anal sex! However, if your partner is wanting to have a lot of anal sex, you might be concerned. Even more so, if your partner is losing their erection if they’re not having anal sex, you might wonder what you’re doing wrong or if there’s something wrong with your partner.

Talk to your partner about it. Find out how they feel. They might not know that you don’t want to have as much anal sex as they do, so you need to talk about it with them. You might be able to find a compromise between anal and traditional sex.

If your partner is consistently losing his erection, that could be another issue altogether. If this is the case, consider seeing a medical doctor and even a sex therapist to find out what might be the issue.

Out, Not In

Remember that the anal canal was created to be an exit, not an entrance. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it now and again, but you certainly don’t want to make a huge habit out of it. The anal canal is not self lubricating meaning you will need to use lots and lots of lubrication during anal sex.

Avoid using sharp or large objects during anal sex, or the anus could tear or perforate, causing you lots of trouble in the long run. Having anal sex means being safe about it, and respecting the fact that it wasn’t designed for the purpose of sex.

When Enough Is Enough

There might come a point where you feel like your partner is asking you for more anal sex than you’d like to have. That’s okay, but it’s important that you speak up about it! If you find through your doctor that your partner has no medical issues that would cause them to want anal sex more often, try to find ways to sexually satisfy your partner without anal sex.

There are lots of different sex toys on the market, ranging from the tame to the extreme. Visit a toy store together and browse through things until you and your partner find something you might like to try. You might even find something you like better than anal sex!

All in all, anal sex can definitely be fun if you and your partner both enjoy it and you’re safe and smart about it. While you probably don’t want to be having anal sex all the time, you can certainly save it for that special occasion or for times when you and your partner are feeling especially frisky.

There’s nothing wrong with it as long as you’re both on the same page about your wants, needs and expectations as far as anal sex is concerned!

Is It Okay to Have Anal Sex Without Lube?

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Anal sex, when done correctly, can be a source of pleasure for both men and women. It can break the sense of what is “taboo” and help spice up your sex life as well as giving both you and your partner new and exciting sensations.

However, if done incorrectly, anal sex can cause damage and infection. Without proper lubrication, you and your partner can get into some serious trouble with anal sex!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am a sadist, and my girlfriend is a masochist. We both agreed that we wanted to have anal sex without lube.

My fear is that I could cause serious damage that way, because as you stated in a previous segment about anal sex, it’s not meant to be an in-hole and it doesn’t lubricate itself. So, is it possible to have anal sex without lube and not cause serious damage? Or is that just an impossible fantasy?

–Anonymous, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G80U_9ZCOGg[/youtube]

Tearing The Membranes

Anal sex is somewhat difficult to begin with, especially for the inexperienced. When having anal sex, it is extremely important to use lots of lubrication to make sure there is no friction. Keep in mind that the anal cavity is quite unlike the vagina. It doesn’t self lubricate like the vagina does.

Without external lubrication, the friction between the penis and the anal cavity can cause tearing. The rectum itself could easily tear, as well as the inner membranes of the lower intestine.

Remember, the anal cavity wasn’t built for sex! It was made for the expulsion of waste. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it though, if you take the proper precautions.

For example, the mouth was designed for eating but that generally doesn’t stop people from having oral sex. With oral sex though, people take the proper precautions and make sure they don’t choke their partner with their penis.

Anal sex is similar, but there are a few more precautions to take. Using lots of lube helps keep the penis and anal cavity moist so there is little to no tearing. Remember to go slow when having anal sex and if it hurts too much, stop!

Infection

Tearing the anal membranes is of special concern because the anal cavity is filled with lots of unfriendly bacteria. In the event of an injury, the bacteria will go straight to the wound and severely impede healing.

Just imagine rubbing feces into a cut on your arm. You wouldn’t want to do that, would you? It’s the same concept with anal injuries. You don’t want them if you can help it.

The bacteria from feces can keep the wound from healing properly and it can also cause infection. If the tear is in the right place and big enough, it can cause fecal matter to leak into your abdominal cavity, causing serious health issues and possibly requiring surgery. Anal sex isn’t something you take lightly!

Take Proper Precautions

If you plan on having anal sex, use every precaution you can. Always use plenty of lubrication and you can protect yourself even further by having your partner wear a condom.

Never insert a penis or other object into a vagina after it has been inserted into the anal cavity without washing it thoroughly. Wash your hands and all toys or other body parts involved in hot, soapy water after you’re finished.

Be careful, and go slow at first, especially if you’re inexperienced. It might be a good idea to come up with a “code word” that means stop, in the event that you’re experiencing too much pain. Never force anal sex! If you are safe and smart, anal sex can become a pleasurable addition to your sex repertoire. If done incorrectly, anal sex can cause you a lot of damage, money and health problems.

It’s always better to be safe and smart!

Does Liking Anal Sex With a Strap On Make Me Gay?

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Many people like different forms of sex. New and exciting sexual encounters help spice up the sex life, and if you’re into trying new things you might find a few that really turn you on and help make your orgasms explosive!

Both women and men can enjoy anal sex and if you’re a man who has a female partner but enjoys her using a strap on to have anal sex with you, you could be wondering if it makes you gay. It doesn’t!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I really like it when my wife does me with a strap-on (she likes it too). It feels really good – intense orgasms. I don’t think I am gay. I think I would rather kiss a monkey than kiss another guy.

1) I don’t feel gay, or bi, but I really like getting boned in the booty by my wife – does this make me a little girly man?

2) Am I really gay but somehow just don’t realize it? Is that even possible?

3) Any suggestions on how to make it feel even better?

–Stuart, Georgia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5IiMqDwS_o[/youtube]

Being gay involves more than anal sex

Being homosexual involves a number of different hormonal and emotional issues – not just enjoying anal sex. Homosexual men might fantasize about having sex with other men, or may be physically and emotionally attracted to men more than women.

Simply enjoying having anal sex does not make you a homosexual! Similarly, not all homosexual men enjoy anal sex. It is simply a matter of personal preference that is not at all grouped by age, race, sexual orientation or gender.

If you enjoy having your female partner perform anal sex on you with a strap on, and she enjoys it too, you are welcome to thoroughly enjoy your new sexual experiences together! Don’t let anyone judge you based on what you and your partner enjoy in the bedroom. What you and her like is up to you and no one else has a say in it. As long as you’re both being safe, you’re both willing and no one is getting hurt, feel free to take part in your sexual pleasure and enjoy!

As a heterosexual man, you might be a little unfamiliar with the ins and outs of anal sex, so to speak. You might have tried it a few times and liked it, but haven’t taken it any further than that. There are a number of things you can do to make sure anal sex is safe and even more enjoyable for both you and your partner!

Things to remember

First of all, remember that the rectum is one of bacteria’s favorite places to be. If your partner uses a strap on to have anal sex with you, thoroughly wash the strap on or other toy with soap and hot water before using it anywhere else, especially in her vagina! Remember to wash your hands before continuing to have any contact with your partner or really, anything or anyone else!

Keeping bacteria contamination to a minimum during anal sex is one of the most important ways to ensure anal sex success. You should also take care to use lots and lots of lubricant to prevent tearing, and always tell your partner if something is uncomfortable or painful.

She’s using a fake penis, so it may be difficult for her to tell if there is a great deal of resistance or if she is thrusting too hard. You might consider coming up with a code word that is completely unrelated to sex, such as “banana” so that if you say the code word, the anal sex immediately stops.

To make anal sex more enjoyable for you and your partner, you can use flavored or scented lubrication or even lubrication that warms or cools upon touch. Experiment with different sizes and textures of strap ons, or even consider using plugs or anal beads for added enjoyment. Just use your imagination!