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What All Guys Should Know About The Clitoris

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A girl’s clitoris is a complex yet fascinating sexual organ, one that provides many comparisons to your penis! While containing a similar shaft, with many differences in regards to how it looks and where it’s placed, but with comparable functionality. For instance, few men can orgasm without direct stimulation to their shaft.

Sure, it’s possible, but it isn’t the norm. The corresponding body part for a woman is her clitoris – the whole thing, not just the clitoral head. Therefore, trying to get a woman to orgasm without ‘stroking the shaft’ so to speak is possible, but not probable.

The Vagina Isn’t That Sensitive, Guys!

The vaginal opening holds the most of a woman’s nerve endings along the vaginal canal, other than that small disc-shaped space an inch or so up the shaft called the G-Spot. The vagina does feel pressure, but most of its sensitivity lies where the vaginal canal connects to the clitoral network: the G-Spot, the A-Spot further back which controls lubrication, and the exterior contact points in the vaginal opening and the clitoral head/hood.

Normally, men orgasm when they are aroused from direct penile stimulation. The comparable act for women then is when their clitoral head, or somewhere else along the clitoral network, receives direct stimulation. So let’s talk a bit more about this clitoral network, and the clitoral head.

Tip Of The Iceberg

The clitoral head is what most folks call the clitoris, love nub, skittle, button – you get the drift. Many feel that this little exposed piece of flesh is all there is when it comes to the clitoris, but scientists can now prove that the truth is a much bigger story. The clitoral head – the tip of the clitoral network – expands and fills with blood when a woman is aroused, just like a man’s penis does.

The clitoral head even has a foreskin, called the clitoral hood, which protects it from infection and too much stimulation, just like foreskin. When a women gets exited, this hood slides back for better stimulation, and hides the clitoral head again just before climax.

One of the more difficult aspects of a woman’s anatomy is that the clitoral head and network aren’t easily reach – you certainly don’t want to reach out and grab your girl’s clit in the heat of the moment! The clitoris is also connected on both ends. A good analogy: if the top of a man’s penis was attached to his stomach, how would he thrust? He couldn’t.

He’d be dependent on his partner to rub up against him or touch him to receive direct stimulation during intercourse. This is exactly what a woman needs during sex. The fact that hers is buried so deeply makes the challenge a bit more interesting, but by absolutely no means impossible.

Why The Clitoris’ Design Rocks

While it may be difficult, there are some serious benefits to the layout and design of the clitoral complex. For starters, any stimulation to the network affects the entire clitoris. This is why some women are able to orgasm during intercourse with only the movement of a man’s penis thrusting inside of her: because the vaginal opening does have a few nerve endings hiding out there, and the in-out motion pulls the labia down, thus rubbing the clitoral hood and in turn, indirectly the clitoral head.

Basically, even if your wife is able to orgasm during intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation, just thrusting in and out gives her a taste of the indirect stimulation she needs to make it all the way.

How Foreplay Affects A Woman’s Sexual Arousal

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Foreplay is the very first step in sexual arousal. How do you do that? Tease your girl into an orgasmic oblivion! There are a whole host of things that happen during the “foreplay” phase, all of which propel her further towards explosion. Here are some things to look for during that process, as well as what to do to get her moving smoothly along the path to orgasm.

What Happens To A Woman’s Body During Sex

As soon as your partner starts thinking about sex, her body begins to change. The hormone oxytocin overloads the brain in a rushing flood. This same hormone makes women want to cuddle after sex, and motivates them to bond with their newborn babies after breastfeeding. She gets ’emotionally stoned’ on this hormone according to author Theresa Crenshaw, and she needs more and more of it to flow through her circulatory system in order to orgasm.

As the blood starts pumping harder and faster throughout the body, the skin around her face, chest, back and inner thighs will start to flush, turning a deep pink or red. Some folks call this the ‘glow’ of arousal, although really it is more of a glow signalling readiness for an increase in stimulation than an indication of her proximity to climax. More blood gets diverted to her pelvic region as well with similar effects. The labia will turn dark purple instead of a mere flush. The closer she gets to orgasm, the darker the hue.

Why Teasing Makes Her Body React Better

Wherever she gets flushed, she’ll also become more sensitive, as there’s more blood flow to the nerve endings around her body. Nibbling her ears when she’s excited for example has a different reaction than when her body is unprepared. Her breasts and nipples get larger as she moves through the foreplay phase of arousal, and may take on a defined pinkish color as well. Playing with her breasts and nipples during this state increases the amount of oxytocin in her blood as well. In some women this is so prominent that she’ll be able to orgasm from this stimulation alone.

Vaginal lubrication begins during this phase as well, from two tiny ducts that line the opening of her vagina called Bartholin’s Glands. The lubrication helps both moisturize and prepare the vagina for penetration, not to mention getting the clitoris ready for full-on play.

How To Tell When She’s Ready For Sex

The best ways to figure out if she’s moved from the foreplay stage to a point where she’s getting ready to work toward climaxing is to look at her clitoral head. Keep a close look when she is not aroused; her clitoral head won’t be visible to the naked eye, difficult to find during fingering, or downright impossible to locate.

When she’s aroused, the clitoral head peeks out from underneath the protective hood, essentially saying, “I’m here and ready to come out and play!” Before her clitoral head peeks out she’ll prefer light, indirect touches, like light circles around the head, but not directly on it. Pressure along the front commissure is also pleasurable to help arouse her more. Once the clitoris emerges from its hidden place, you’re free to press with firm pressure and venture right for the nub of pleasure.

Clitoris 101 – What It Is, Why You Need To Touch It & How To Do It!

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The clitoris. This is the GRAND MOMMY of them all, the main moan zone. If you want to score, and score big, this is where you go.

Women have penises too, we call theirs the clitoris. It’s a small bump or button a few inches above the vaginal opening. And if you examine it very closely, you’ll see that it does look like a very small penis. And true to that nature, it can engorge with blood and go erect. It also has a tiny shaft which feels like a thin bony cord.

Why The Clitoris Exists

The clitoris exists for one good reason – to give PLEASURE. Although size doesn’t give it justice, which is why some guys have a hard time finding it, its role is nothing to sneeze at. The concentration of nerve endings at the pleasure bud is tremendous, to say the least. Easily by the thousands, it is one of the most heavily innervated part of a woman. It packs in one very tiny area nerves similar in number to that of the penis!

Why are nerves important, you ask?

Because they connect to the brain. Stimulating the clitoris sends bliss impulses that rock her brain silly. The CAVEAT, however, is that the same nerves that make it sensitive to pleasure, also make it sensitive to pain. So you gotta take it easy.

How Big Is It?

4 inches!

Not many people know this, but the clit is more than just a button or a bump, much of it is not visually accessible. What people refer to as the “clit” is just the head of the clitoris – like the head of your penis. When we say that it looks like a knob, this is what we’re talking about. Unseen is the organ branching into 2 forks, extending down and passing along the vaginal opening and terminating near the anus.

Inside, a woman’s clitoral system really looks like a thick wishbone. But for our purposes here, we will talk about what you see the outside.

How Do You Find It?

Your landmark will be the inner-smaller lips, or labia. The inner lips are very easy to spot, they look like petals or misshapen tongues and are usually darker than the rest of the vulva. Do an upward trace of the lips. You will notice that both left and right lips converge at the top. The clitoris sits on top where both lips converge.

The clitoris is sheathed inside a hood of skin, similar to the foreskin your doctor may have removed when you were circumcised. Sometimes, you really have to push back the blanketing hood to unveil the knob. Be wary of doing this though, because if she’s not sufficiently aroused, this can hurt!

At times, when she’s really hot, the knob will retract under the hood and won’t be visually accessible. This isn’t bad news – it does this on its own when she’s excited and nearing orgasm.

Why Is The Clitoris Important?

ORGASMS. Ring any bells? Any bells at all?

Orgasms are a woman’s best friend as they are these waves of contractions that bring intense pleasure. They are 21 birthdays, Graduation, Wedding & Driver’s License rolled into one – fleeting slices of heaven that transform even the most prim & proper of ladies into cussing savages.

The clitoris is the main organ that serves her these orgasms, it’s little wonder why millions of research dollars and entire lives have been spent studying it. Compared to the g spot, for example, the clit is the more consistent server of climax. In fact, many women orgasm only via clitoral stimulation. You can thrust like hell for hours, use all types of lube, but as long as the clitoris isn’t in on the action, a woman won’t budge.

Before you get flushed with excitement and channel all sexual energy on her pleasure bud, consider this – the clit may look like a button, but it doesn’t function like one. Do not make the mistake of immediately feeling for it and expect a girl to shoot up the horny-meter. Not so.

Use Indirect Stimulation

How is indirect stimulation possible?

Reviewing how the vulva is configured, you’ll see that the clitoris sits on top of the inner labia. During intercourse, a thrusting penis tugs on these lips – which consequently tugs on the clitoris. In short, intercourse stimulates the clitoris indirectly.

The problem for women is that this indirect stimulation is grossly insufficient to result in climax. Although there are women who cum by penetration alone, most women don’t. Your penis just going in and out of her vagina just won’t do the job. You have to give direct clitoral stimulation while thrusting.

How do you do this?

Do THE GRIND.

The key here is pelvic & hip movement that provides both pressure and friction. Not the inside friction between penis and vaginal walls, but the friction caused by pressing and rubbing your pubic bone on her clitoris.

Because of the clit’s location, forward-backward thrusting won’t avail much, but by sensually grinding your bush area, you let the pleasure bud in on the action. Actually, your pubic bone has a better chance of delivering her orgasms than your jimmy, it can give DIRECT clitoral provocation.

So when you penetrate, don’t pull-out immediately, keep your member inside. In this position, you can directly stimulate her clit by rubbing your pube against it. Grind in circular and “8” motions. (Be sensitive when she guides you by placing her hands on your buttocks, or when she synchronizes with your movements.)

The grind creates a huge, HUGE difference in your woman’s orgasm potential. It’s more effective than bouncy moves because it stimulates the same area women excite during masturbation!

How To Finger A Woman During Oral Sex

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Fingering can bring a whole new level of pleasure to oral sex, but it’s easy to get wrong! Here’s how to finger a girl while you go down on her.

Using Your Hands

Hands and fingers are the most popular complement to oral sex for both men and women. Let’s face it – there are times when using our hands can give our mouths a bit of a break and bring our partner to orgasm that much faster. There are other times when using our hands just gets in the way.

Be sure to pay attention to your partner when doing each of these moves and assess her reaction – if she loves it, great! Keep going. If she seems to be shrinking away, try another hand technique or take the hand away altogether. Also bear in mind that one night she may be in the mood for a certain stroke and another night she may want tongue-only action. This can be said of all cunnilingus efforts though, so keep a watchful eye on your partner.

Fingering Her Into Oblivion

Okay, this is by far the most popular accompaniment to cunnilingus. There are so many more ways to pleasure your partner with your finger inside her and your tongue outside her! Be wary of just sticking your finger inside her vaginal opening though – you’ll want to observe some niceties first. Couple the following techniques with the above clitoral techniques to blow your partner’s mind!

  • Make sure she is wet. You should almost never have to use lubricant because you will have sufficiently warmed your partner up first and performed some cunnilingus on her already, however, we know that some ladies are drier than others and may require lubricant. If you’re using a condom, finger cot, or latex gloves you’ll need to use water-based lubricant. Remember, baby oil and oil-based lubricants will break down latex and they aren’t that great anyways.
  • Go slow unless she asks otherwise. This is a big one – you don’t want to jam your finger in there because that will probably end the entire cunnilingus session and several future cunnilingus sessions right then and there.

Fingering During Oral Sex

Slide your finger in and out of her slowly and gently. You can keep your finger straight or you can put a bit of a bend in it if you like to help reach the G Spot (and we’ll go over that in detail a little later in this section). You can also use your finger to press on the walls of her vaginal canal or to go deep inside, depending on how your lady likes it.

One of the most popular fingering moves is to slide the tip of your finger in and out of her vaginal canal about ½ an inch – you can even move your fingertips in circles to trace the outer rim of her vagina. Ladies love this because the first inch or so of the vagina is jam-packed with pleasure inducing nerves. You can twist your finger as you go in and out as well – this creates a wonderful sensation that carries throughout the entire vaginal canal.

Some ladies prefer two or three fingers, but contrary to popular belief, most ladies prefer only one finger. So unless your partner asks for it, don’t go jamming more than two fingers in her vagina at a time. Again, use your creativity – you can try lots of movements with your hands to find out which she likes best.

IMPORTANT TIP: Also be sure that if you’re not wearing gloves or a finger cot that your fingernails are clean and trimmed well with no hangnails. Hangnails and jagged fingernails can cause small cuts inside your partner’s vagina, not only making the experience extremely unpleasant for her but also increasing the risk of sexually transmitted diseases in non-monogamous partners.

As far as helping hands go, you generally want to stay away from the clitoris with your fingers. This is not a rule, just merely a suggestion. Cunnilingus is not cunnilingus if your finger is doing the work that your tongue should be doing. Let’s remember that the clitoris is extremely sensitive and a warm, soft, wet tongue feels much better than a finger (lubed or not).

You can use your fingers to do other things, such as feel inside her labia or spread the labia out, or tug gently on her mons pubis to stretch the skin out, causing her vulva to be more responsive and sensitive to the efforts of your tongue.

G Spot Pleasure!

Contrary to popular belief, the G Spot is not as elusive as many cunnilingus and other sexual information books make it out to be. First off, what is the G Spot? It is nothing more than a small dime-to-quarter-sized bundle of nerves about two inches inside of the vaginal canal. Generally, it is on the top. Surprisingly, a woman can experience an orgasm from G Spot stimulation alone; however, the feeling of this type of orgasm differs greatly from a clitoral orgasm.

Even more amazing is that it is possible for a woman to have both types of orgasms at once! Trust us on this one – having both orgasms at once is simply an amazing, earth-shattering experience for a woman. Therefore, it is probably a good thing for you to discover where your partner’s G Spot is and put that knowledge to good use every once in awhile.

So how exactly do you find it?

Like we said, most of the given information about the G Spot is largely untrue. It is fairly simple to find. Place the index finger of your right hand inside her vaginal canal with your palm up. You can also use your middle finger if you like, if your partner’s G Spot is just a tad further up the canal.

Gently make a “come here” or “come hither” motion with your finger. That should pretty much do it. It may be further towards the front as well, so experiment with your partner to find out what she likes the best. Combine this technique with some of the clitoral stimulation techniques (with your tongue!) and your honey will be in heaven!

Why Stimulating Her Clitoris AND Labia = Orgasm!

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The female orgasm isn’t as elusive as you might think. Find out why this simple formula will help you give your lover an intense orgasm!

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We’re going to take a moment to blow your mind. Actually, we’re going to take a moment to teach you how to blow your girl’s mind. She’ll thank you. And you look like a god and more importantly, like you came up with yourself. You’ll be the Chuck Norris of her nether regions, the master of her domain and keeper of the key to her heart. How do you do that? Two words: Massive orgasms. It’s the key to the art of the female orgasm.

Regular orgasms are so 1847. Massive, earth shattering female orgasms are in and in big time. That’s what she’s dying for you to give her, even if she’s unwilling or unable to express that. Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Maybe she doesn’t even know on a conscious level that, in fact, is what she wants. But trust us, she does. But how do you give it to her? We’ve developed an incredibly detailed and scientific formula to express this: clitoral stimulation + labia love = super massive, mind blowingly awesome and amazingly earth shattering orgasms. We have your attention now, don’t we?

How To Create A Female Orgasm

It’s really quite easy. The simple fact is that a woman’s labia or vagina lips are totally ignored. They’re like a genital version of the appendix to most men. You know it’s there, and you know it serves some kind of purpose, but you have no idea what that is. Her loss? Brother, you don’t know the half of it. Literally. Get a clue grasshopper! Because the female orgasm depends on it. By ignoring the labia. You’re missing out on giving her a chance at her extended pleasure.

Why is the labia so important in a female orgasm? One word: nerves, and lots of them. Seriously. Lots of nerves. Very sensitive, like the middle east peace process. Most guys completely bypass the labia and go straight for the clitoris. How do you think that makes the labia feel? Not so hot, in more ways than one.

Don’t skip it. Show it the attention it deserves. What kind of attention should you be giving it? To start off, don’t ignore the clitoris to focus on the labia. Do both. Alternate between licking the labia and clitoris. Broad strokes. Suck the labia in your mouth. Gently. We can’t really stress the gently part enough. To put it in terms men can understand, you know how you love having your balls sucked during a blowjob? You know how tender they are, right? Now imagine your woman was sucking on your balls and then bit into them. That’s what it feels like for her when you don’t suck gently. So keep that lovely mental image in mind.

Oral Sex Gone WRONG!

Many women have horror stories about guys who tried to suck on their labia and clitoris and it went horribly, horribly and super painfully wrong. Don’t add to her lowlight reel. She has enough footage there. Add to the highlight reel. Practice and master this very simple technique and you’ll be a guy she loves being with and not only will you get to do it often, she’ll be bragging about you to her friends.

You probably haven’t done much in the way of stimulating her clitoris and labia if you’re like most guys. But like most guys, you should be doing it during oral sex. A lot. Every chance you get. Why should you be doing this on a constant basis? Simple. This will drive her crazy. Female orgasms will happen faster. You haven’t seen her shake like that. But if you do this, you will.

And the more you stimulate her clitoris and the more you show her (formerly) neglected labia some love, the more she will quiver, shake, and beg for more. What guy doesn’t want that? Being a rock star in bed is the key to getting and more importantly keeping the girl (or girls) of your dreams. You can’t just be good. You have to be great. Most men aren’t and sadly, aren’t even trying to get there.

Learning to properly lavish lovingly attention on the labia will take a bit of practice. Delivering female orgasms is not a skill every man is born with, but it’s one every fella should have. But you will both have tons of fun as you learn to make her quiver, shake and scream with pleasure. She will be putty in your hands (or other parts) and will come back for more and more and more and more. So bite the bullet (not literally, of course. We already covered that!) and do what it takes, grasshopper. Make this happen. You’ll both be glad you did.