Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for cunnilingus

Auto Cunnilingus – Can Women Lick Their Own Clitoris?

By

Auto cunnilingus is where women bend forward enough to give themselves oral sex – but can they really do this? You’ve seen contortionists on television and in movies bend ways you didn’t even imagine they could, but can flexible women actually go down on themselves? Is it even possible?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dmu6_CgGUk&feature=related[/youtube]

What Is Auto Cunnilingus?

Auto cunnilingus is the act of a woman bending forward far enough to reach their tongue to their clitoris and licking it as a form of female masturbation. It sounds difficult to do – and it is! Very few women are able to do this! Some men can give themselves oral sex too – this is called auto fellatio. With auto fellatio, a man will bend forward far enough to suck on his own penis. Very rarely if ever is a man who can do this able to actually give himself a full on blowjob. What usually happens is the man sucks on the head of his penis while he masturbates the shaft with his hand.

It is much harder for women to give themselves oral sex, simply because they have to bend down a lot farther to reach their own clitoris. While you won’t see many people engaging in self oral sex, you’ll see that there are far less women who are able to do it than men who can.

Can A Woman Really Stretch That Far?

While it is possible for a woman to be flexible enough to bend far enough forward that she can reach her vagina with her mouth, it is very rare indeed. Very few women can actually do this and if they can, it’s usually because they’ve had some sort of gymnastics training and have had lots of practice with flexibility or are a contortionist, who bend their bodies to extreme angles for entertainment.

Women who can give themselves auto cunnilingus can usually only go down on themselves for a few seconds, possibly up to a minute or two. Certainly not long enough to give themselves an orgasm without additional masturbation with their fingers or a sex toy.

The most common sex position for auto cunnilingus is lying on the back with the hands under the buttocks. The woman can lean her neck and head forward, while using her arms to push her bottom towards her head. Also, a woman may find it easier if she has someone to help her with bending. It may be easier for her to relax her body and focus on reaching the clitoris while a partner sits behind her and gently pushes her bottom forward.

Can Women Learn To Be That Flexible?

It’s possible for women who aren’t able to lick their own clitoris to learn how to do it, but it requires some real motivation. Generally, it’s not something that you can try once or twice and be able to do – it takes years of practice to be able to train your body to be that flexible. It’s not easy, and it’s not going to happen quickly. You generally have to be fit to begin with, and training your body to stretch that much takes time and patience. Even contortionists and trained gymnasts have to work very hard to be able to stretch that much.

If you’d like to learn how to stretch like that, take it slow. Start with small stretches and work your way up. Don’t push yourself too hard – you could really end up hurting yourself! Take your time – since this isn’t something that is going to happen right away, it’s important that it’s something you really want to be able to do.

A Word Of Caution

Bending the body to such extreme angles like with auto cunnilingus can be dangerous. Most people’s bodies are not designed to stretch that much or contort into those types of extreme positions. While trained gymnasts, extremely flexible people and contortionists may be able to get into these types of positions without hurting themselves, it’s likely that your average gal trying to do this may end up with a sprain or a stretched or torn ligament.

Before you attempt to try giving yourself oral sex, make sure that you are well aware that you can do some serious damage to your muscles, joints and tendons if you’re not careful. Make sure you’re fit and healthy enough to try and if it hurts a lot, stop!

Homemade Porn – 9 Things You HAVE To Film!

By

Homemade porn can be a lot of fun to make – and a lot of fun to watch! There’s nothing like watching your partner get you off, or checking out your style when you’re giving your partner pleasure. Not only will homemade porn turn you on like no other naughty flick can, it’s also an incredible learning experience. Check out these nine smokin’ hot moves you’ll want to get on camera.

A Point Of View Blowjob

“Point of view” is a video in which one of the participants holds the camera and films the activities, but you never get to see their face. This gives the viewer of the video the illusion that they are actually the one in the movie and that everything that is happening is happening to them. The point of view concept is great homemade porn fodder, because they ARE the one who is in the film! They can watch it later and remember just how amazing it was!

Ladies, have your partner hold a camera while you give him a blowjob. Make sure there is plenty of lighting! Look up at the camera often and don’t be afraid to let it all out. Mimic what you see women do in porn videos so the movie actually looks great – and mix it up with actual great blowjob techniques so it feels great too.

Close Up Cunnilingus

Men, chances are your special ladies have never gotten to see you lick their lady bits up close and personal. Almost all women love oral sex, because it’s an incredibly erotic experience for them. Make it even that much more incredible by taping it and letting her watch afterwards!

Set up the camera on a tripod and zoom in. You’ll have to work a little to find the right angle, but when you do, it will be well worth it. You can also hire a trusted friend that you’re comfortable with to tape it for you – that way, you’ll get every view. Cock your head a little to the side and stick your tongue out a little more so you can actually see the licking action. It’s not going to be very fun for her if all she can see is your head in between her legs.

Night Vision

Mimic a celebrity sex tape and make a homemade porn with a night vision camera. What’s great about night vision is that you won’t see as many body flaws as you would if you were taping yourselves having sex in the broad daylight. Night vision covers up even more bodily imperfections than candlelight does, but you can still see all the action. You can even pick your favorite celebrity sex tape and re-enact the whole thing!

The Money Shot

A lot of adult videos feature the “money shot” – that is, where the man pulls his penis out at the point of orgasm and ejaculates somewhere on his partner. If they’re doing it doggy style, it is usually on the lower back or buttocks, if they’re doing it in the missionary position, he will usually ejaculate on her stomach. He can also ejaculate on her breasts or her face, depending on what turns him on the most (and what his partner agrees to).

In your homemade porn, you’ll definitely want to get a money shot. Men, talk to your partner about where it’s okay to ejaculate. If you’ve always dreamed of giving your lover a facial, let her know. She may not be opposed to it if you agree to make it a one time deal for the camera only. That way, if she does decide to let you indulge in your fantasy, you’ve got visual evidence that you can watch over and over again!

Your Favorite Fetish

If you and your partner have a particular fetish that you like to indulge in, you’ll definitely want to get it on tape in your homemade porn. No matter what your fetish is – whether it’s BDSM, bondage, a diaper fetish or whatever else really pushes your hot buttons – getting it on tape and watching it later can be incredibly erotic. This is especially true if it’s a fetish that you and your lover don’t get to indulge in very often due to money, time constraints or other reasons.

Female Ejaculation

Ladies, unless you’re really, really good at female ejaculation, chances are, you’re not going to be able to do it very often. Learning to do it well is half the fun though! If you want to be able to ejaculate, practice makes perfect. Keep trying, and keep videotaping it so that when you do ejaculate, you’ve already got it on tape! Your partner will love watching a homemade porn of you ejaculating, especially if he was the one that made you do it.

Don’t be afraid to let go – if you are, chances are, you’re not going to ejaculate at all. The best adult videos that feature female ejaculation show women letting it all out! They’re grunting, screaming, and doing whatever is necessary to make themselves orgasm – and orgasm hard. Take on that mentality and your movie will be just as hot – if not hotter.

Your Favorite Role Play

If you and your lover like to role play, this can be super fun to include in your homemade porn. Getting it on video is also a great option if you don’t get to do it very often, or if you end up springing for some really great costumes and props. A camera in the room can also help you and your partner feel a little bit like you’re performing, which can actually help you to come out of your shells a little more.

Before turning the camera on, have a few drinks first. Relax, loosen up and let whatever happens happen. You won’t believe how hot things got when you finally play the video back later!

Masturbation

Men, you may want to film your partners masturbating themselves so you have something to watch later when you’re alone. Chances are, your girl is going to be more into the idea of you watching homemade porn when you masturbate than watching a movie with some random naked chick in it.

Set up the camera in a corner of the room where you don’t notice it as much. Light some candles, take a hot bath to relax and then lay on the bed with your genitals exposed to the camera. You can zoom in as much or as little as you like – whatever turns you on most. Men, this is the part where you leave the room! Sure, you want to check out all the action, but she’s not going to be able to really let go if you’re standing there watching her. And that’s what you want – for her to really let go and throw all her inhibitions out the window.

Intense Foreplay

Sometimes, sex is not all you want to capture on camera. Foreplay can be just as much fun as sex, and incredibly erotic. Promise your partner a night of intense foreplay and teasing, and make sure to get it all on camera for your homemade porn. Men, tease your lover by licking her nipples, licking her clitoris and kissing her deeply, all without ever doing enough to actually get her off. Women, do the same thing to your men.

Watching your partner beg for pleasure can be an incredible turn on when you play your video back!

Can Giving Oral Sex Cause Cancer?

By

Oral sex can transmit STD’s if you’re not careful to protect yourself and reduce your risk. Infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea can be transmitted from the genitals to the mouth and throat, but most of the time, mild to moderate infections can be treated with a course of antibiotics.

This alone may make people feel that they don’t need to use protection during oral sex, but think again – because giving your partner cunnilingus or fellatio may do more harm than you originally thought. Can giving oral sex cause cancer later in life?

HPV The Leading Cause Of Throat Cancers In The U.S.

Until recently, the scientific community believed that tobacco use, both cigarettes and smokeless tobacco, was the leading cause of throat and mouth cancer in the United States. However, this status has changed as more research and statistics become available and tobacco is no longer the front runner for causing abnormalities in the throat and mouth.

A sexually transmitted disease called HPV – better known as human papilloma virus – has now taken the lead in causing these types of cancers. Ohio State University alum Dr. Maura Gillson reports that HPV is responsible for 64% of throat and mouth cancers in the U.S., while the remainder of the world still touts tobacco as the leading cause of this type of cancer.

Other cancers that can be caused by the human papilloma virus are cervical cancer, cancer of the genitals including the vagina and the penis and some cancers within the anus or colon.

What Is HPV?

The CDC reports that HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease. You may have heard of “genital warts” – this is because HPV causes small, cauliflower-like bumps to appear on the affected area. However, the warts may not appear in all cases of HPV. Many men and women who carry the infection do not show any outward symptoms at all and may not even be aware that they are infected.

There are over forty strains of HPV, most of which do not affect the body at all. The CDC reports that in almost 90% of HPV cases, the virus is naturally cleared from the body by its own immune system in two years or less. Because some strains of the disease cause genital warts and other strains cause cancer, it is unknown within the medical community which strains will cause what problems.

How Can You Get HPV From Oral Sex?

Being exposed to the human papilloma virus in any way will increase your risk for cancer significantly. The virus is usually spread through genital to genital contact, such as during sex, but can also spread from mouth to genital contact such as with oral sex.

The disease knows no boundaries – it doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight, bi-sexual or even if it’s been years since you had sexual contact with someone who was infected with the virus. It is also possible to contract and carry more than one strain of HPV at a time, therefore increasing your risk for cancer even more.

If you perform oral sex on someone that is infected with HPV, you’re not going to get cancer right away. It usually takes many years for the cancer to develop, because it takes time for the cells in the affected area of your body to mutate into cancer cells. You’re not going to tell that your cells are mutating and becoming abnormal either – that is, until you actually develop cancer and begin to show symptoms of it such as noticing a lump or tumor in the neck or blood tests for cancer markers come up positive.

Why Teens Are More At Risk

Teens have the highest risk of developing cancer later in life from an HPV infection contracted during their high school years. Why is this? Most teens don’t consider cunnilingus or fellatio as actual sex – to them, it doesn’t count. Teens may know that they need to use a condom during regular sex, however, if they’re trying to maintain their virginity or don’t want to risk getting an STD or getting pregnant, they may forgo intercourse all together in lieu of oral sex.

While oral sex generally can be safer than traditional vaginal intercourse, these days it’s not. This is because while abstinence and safe sex programs go over STD’s that can be transmitted through sexual intercourse, oral sex is rarely, if ever, mentioned as a probable source of contracting and spreading these diseases. Parents also drop the ball here, because many parents may cover the basics when it comes to choosing abstinence or having safer sex but they fail to talk about all forms of sex – including oral and anal sex – and how they can all contribute to the spread of STD’s.

Many teens feel that because their school didn’t discuss the dangers of oral or anal sex and their parents didn’t either – plus, it allows them to technically maintain their virginity, so they really aren’t having “sex” anyways – that it’s completely safe. Sex education programs in the United States should start recognizing oral sex and anal sex as common among teens and include information about how these types of activities can contribute to the spread of STD’s. They should also provide information on how men and women can protect themselves during these activities.

Parents, however, are where the buck truly stops when it comes to educating their teens on how to have safer sex. Most parents aren’t well versed in how STD’s are spread and how to protect against transmission, simply because their parents never told them, their schools surely didn’t and many of them have been in monogamous relationships for several years. Many parents, due to lack of sexual education for themselves, may very well be practicing unsafe sex and oral sex themselves – so how are they supposed to teach their children how to stay safe?

How To Protect Yourself

Learn as much as you can about sexually transmitted diseases, including HPV, and how they are spread. Realize that any sexual contact – including oral sex, fingering, anal sex and other types of sexual contact – has at least some risk associated with it and many activities post a higher risk than others. Do yourself a favor and visit the CDC website for up to date information on STD’s.

Always wear a condom during sex, oral and anal sex. For cunnilingus, dental dams can be used to protect the giving partner. Learn how to use these properly to decrease your risk and if whoever your partner is doesn’t want to use them, find a new lover. There is no pleasure that is worth carrying around an STD for the rest of your life or getting cancer when you’re fifty because that one time you decided you couldn’t be bothered with a dental dam or a condom.

Remember to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases often – almost all public health clinics offer this testing for free. There’s no reason not to and you should also insist that your partner be tested as well. This is especially true if you’re both considering a monogamous relationship in which you plan to have unprotected sex, anal sex and oral sex.

Knowledge is power – educate yourself and stay safe!

Top 5 Ways To Keep Your Woman Happy

By

A relationship takes some effort to stay fulfilling. For guys, keeping a girl happy can be tough. You’ve got yourself an amazing woman, and even more amazingly, she’s happy with you! Congratulations, grasshopper! But that was the easy part. Finding a girl and making her happy, anyone can do that. KEEPING her happy, that’s the rub. Here are five ways to make sure she stays satisfied:

What She Said:

  1. Take her on romantic date nights.
  2. Offer to help (and follow through on said offer) with cooking and cleaning.
  3. Thoughtful gifts – diamonds are always good!
  4. Remain faithful and make her feel like she’s “Number One.”
  5. Share/communicate your feelings.

I can feel our male readership cringing from here. Don’t worry guys; it’s not as painful as it sounds! The above are guidelines – you’re still allowed to intrinsically be yourself. After all, that’s whom your girlfriend (or wife) fell for in the first place.

Treating Her With Love And Respect

What this list entails are actions to refer to as your relationship goes along. It means checking in, communicating and not taking your awesome mate for granted. It also means, as you continue to treat her well, that you can expect the same from her. Again, it’s not about a tit-for-tat exchange of favors – it’s about consistently treating each other with love and respect.

How To Make Sure She Stays In Love

What does marking her birthday with a thoughtful gift; planning date nights and washing the dishes get you? Unconditional love, foot rubs when you need them and a steady flow of sex with someone you adore. That doesn’t sound too bad! And remember, for every Valentine’s Day there’s a Steak & Blowjob Day just around the corner. (More on that soon!)

What He Said:

  1. The 3 C’s (Chocolate, compliments and cunnilingus)
  2. Regular massages (from you or someone else)
  3. Consistency
  4. Regular Romance
  5. A housekeeper

The three c’s are pretty self-explanatory. Women tend to enjoy them and they really can’t seem to get enough of any of them. Individually they are great, put the three together in a single evening and she may worship the ground you walk on for life.

Help Her Relax

Massages are great too. It’s a tough world, especially for women and often the issue is in the tissue. You gotta get it out, the stress, tension, knots, etc have to go. You should always be giving them, but making sure she gets regular rub downs from trained professionals (who leave the happy endings to the two of you!)

Consistency is an overlooked component. A man does not choose a woman, a woman chooses the man. She chose you for a reason. Figure it out what it is and make sure that you deliver on a regular basis. When she says things like “I don’t know who you are any more” or “you’ve changed” it means “Hey! I chose that guy and now your some other dude. Where did he go? “ Don’t let that happen.

Keep The Romance Alive

Regular romance can mean anything, but spending doesn’t have to be a part of it. Thoughtful gifts that show you are paying attention are great. It shouldn’t be about money or flowers, or stuff. It needs to show her that you are listening and you care. The best gifts you can give her are the ones that she never explicitly asks for. She will tell you want she wants, if you listen, but if she has to say “I want x for Christmas” that’s not so good.

A housekeeper is like female Viagra. If your woman comes home to a freshly cleaned apartment that she didn’t clean, she will probably rape you on the spot. Because it shows that you listen that you care and that she’s important.

If you combine these five things into your relationship, you’ll be good. If you combine them into a single day (and do so on a regular basis) you will never worry about keeping her happy again.

Oral Sex – Do You Need A Condom And Can You Get An STD?

By

Oral sex isn’t something that makes you think of STD’s automatically –  you’ve probably heard that the greatest risk for transmitting sexual infections such as HIV, AIDS, chlamydia and syphilis come from anal sex and vaginal intercourse. But can STD’s be transmitted through mouth to genital sex? What do you need to do to protect yourself?

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I am still young and recently had the “talk” and my parents told me to navigate to this channel. Do you have any tips for a person new to the sex world? Also, I was still confused about oral sex and didn’t want to ask my parents. Do you still need a condom and can you get a STD?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prT-oMvekBs[/youtube]

Remember That You Can Only Eliminate Risk Through Abstinence

No matter what kind of sex you’re talking about – whether it’s oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex or even giving your partner a handjob or fingering them – you’re never 100% safe from sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you use spermicide, condoms or the withdrawal method, there is nothing you can do short of abstinence to completely eliminate your risk. If you’re engaging in any kind of sexual activity whatsoever with another person, you are putting yourself at risk of getting STD’s.

That said, there are lots of ways you can safely and easily reduce your risk – and be fairly confident that you’re not going to contract an STD. First of all, being in a monogamous relationship with someone who has been tested for and is free from STD’s is a start. If you have multiple sexual partners, condoms are your best asset as far as safety during sex is concerned.

Yes, Oral Sex Can Transmit STD’s

Generally speaking, the risk for spreading sexually transmitted diseases through mouth to genital sex is much less than the risk of spreading them through anal sex or vaginal intercourse. However, there is still a risk there, because STD’s like AIDS and HIV are found in vaginal fluid, pre-cum and semen. Don’t assume that just because your partner doesn’t “ejaculate” in your mouth that you are safe from STD’s.

If you have a sore or cut on your mouth before giving someone cunnilingus or fellatio, your risk of getting an STD multiplies by quite a bit. Hepatitis C, HIV and AIDS are spread easily through blood contact, even semen or precum to blood – which is the case if you have a cut or sore on or around your mouth.

You may not even know you have a cut or sore in your mouth – many times, people have small lacerations on their gums from brushing their teeth and if your gums bleed when you brush your teeth, you can be pretty certain that you have an “open wound” in your mouth all the time, at least when it comes to talking about the transmission of STD’s.

Your Risk Of Contracting An STD During Oral Sex Varies

There’s no sure way of determining how high your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease through fellatio or cunnilingus is, because it varies. For example, pre-cum has a lower concentration of virus than semen or blood does, and if a woman infected with the HIV, Hepatitis C or AIDS virus and is on her period, she is much more likely to transmit the disease to her partner during sex.

Because how high the risk is depends on so many different factors, there’s no way to accurately say that you’re going to be safe from getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus without a condom.

It’s Not Just AIDS Or HIV That Can Be Spread

While HIV and AIDS are probably the most worrisome of viruses that you can contract from mouth to genital sex, they’re not the only ones. There are lots of different sexually transmitted diseases and infections:

  • Chlamydia
  • Hepatitis C
  • Gonorrhea
  • Syphilis
  • Herpes
  • Pubic Lice
  • Genital Warts
  • HPV
  • Hepatitis B

That’s a pretty long list – and while some of these diseases can be treated with antibiotics, others can’t and some can even contribute to throat and mouth cancers later on in life. Furthermore, be aware of the fact that you may not know someone has an STD – in fact, they may not even know it. They may not be displaying any symptoms at all, so it’s best to be safe and assume that you have a risk of contracting any of these diseases through oral sex at any time.

Using A Condom Or A Dental Dam During Oral Sex Will Greatly Reduce Your Risk

If you want to reduce your risk of getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus, using a condom or a dental dam will make it much less likely that you would take anything home that you didn’t want to. Here are some tips on how to make yourself safer when giving (or receiving):

  • Wear a condom. Try flavored condoms or a flavored lube to make things taste better (and they smell great) and definitely avoid condoms that have spermicide on them.
  • For cunnilingus, make sure that you use a dental dam. If you place a dab of lube underneath the dental dam on the clitoris and vulva, it will create real feeling sensations that are just as good – if not better – than unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus.
  • Don’t use oil based lubricant at all. Oil based lubes will break down the latex and make the condom pretty much pointless.
  • Get a fresh condom after anal sex or vaginal sex if you’re going to have mouth to genital sex. You don’t want to be using the same condom for fellatio as you did for vaginal or anal sex. Not only does that make the condom less effective, it’s a great way to spread lots of harmful bacteria.
  • If you don’t have a dental dam on hand for cunnilingus, you can do one of two things. You can use a nice, large square of plastic food wrap, or you can cut a condom lengthwise and spread it out over the vulva. Either way is better and safer than using nothing at all.