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5 Oral Sex Mistakes Men Make

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Oral sex isn’t something every guy is good at. Are you making one of these crucial oral sex mistakes? You’ll be surprised at what you find out!

She’s lying on the bed, legs spread, and slides her panties to the side – you know what she wants.

She’s kissing you roughly, pushing your hands away from her, pulling your head down – you know what she wants.

She takes you deep inside her mouth, flashes you a sexy smile, and then straddles your face – you know what she wants.

Whether you’re having a hot one night hook-up, or are in a long term relationship, girls often love head. It can be when they’re at their most horny, most intimate. or just the final straw of seeing what kind of lover you are before they have sex with you.

Trouble is, girls are picky; and all wired completely differently. Your ex loved you sucking her clitoris, your current girlfriend hates it.

The fact is, head is hard enough to get right as it is – so don’t screw up by making the five most common problems guys have when giving head.

1. Don’t Aim Too High

If where you’re licking more closely resembles a girl’s belly button, than it does her vulva, you’re way too high. You may think you can avoid getting down and dirty by just licking around her vulva – don’t kid yourself, this won’t work. There are very specific areas girls are sensitive in: fail to hit the spot and you won’t turn her on.

2. It’s Not All About You

Guys often make the mistake of thinking girls are as fixated on penetration as they are: so they think head should actually be a. Fingering b. Using your tongue in place of your penis. Neither is correct. Sure licking inside her vagina or fingering her, feels good: but that isn’t the point of head. Your mission, is to find her clitoris, then bring in your fingers as an added extra, not the main show.

3. There’s More Than One Way To Do It

When you’ve got to her clitoris not all girls will want you to stimulate it in the same way. Some will love you sucking it, others will want you to lick it fast and horizontal, others slowly length ways. Unfortunately there’s no clear signage down there as to which one your girl is going to prefer. So go for trial and error- start off slow, and keep your teeth way out of there.

4. Girls Are Delicate

Yep, the fairer sex is softer all round. This means that if you’re too rough with her- it will hurt. So keep your fingers well lubricated, your beard soft, or nonexistent, and get your tongue safely far away from your teeth’s interference.

5. Keep It Up

You may feel like you could come after a couple of minutes of jaw dropping head: but sometimes women need, I kid you not, hours. The most common length of time it takes a woman to orgasm is about 20 minutes, so you need to train yourself to last that long and not be a lazy lover.

Get head right though and you’re on to a winner. Make a girl come during a one night stand and she’ll come back for more. Give great head in your relationship and expect to receive in return.

And if you want to convince a girl to sleep with you? Then there’s no better way of showing that you know how to give a woman exactly what she wants.

How Time Distortion Can RUIN Foreplay!

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Foreplay is essential, but are you really spending long enough on it? Probably not, even though you think you ARE. Here’s why!

What Is This Thing With Time?

When you’re sitting in on a lecture or a company meeting, you might think you’ve been sitting there for hours. It drones on and on, and you’re completely certain you’ve wasted your entire day. Then, when you break for lunch, you realize you’ve only been there 45 minutes. This, my friends, is known as the distortion of time.

What Does It Have To Do With Foreplay?

When a woman complains about that lame foreplay, a guy might think: “What?! I’ve been down here giving her oral sex for almost an hour. My tongue is tired, my mouth is dry, and I have only 4 hours of sleep left. I have blue balls bouncing all over. And she still wants more?!”

Okay, first of all, he hasn’t been down there for almost an hour. It may have felt like 60 minutes, but it’s really more like 3. He thinks he’s the world’s most indulgent lover, pampering partner with extensive, soul-reaching oral sex and foreplay, or so he thought. He’s been played.

How can he be guilty? He’s been a true gentleman, always considerate of her needs.

But many fellas are in for a nasty surprise. A guy can be sincere, but he can also be sincerely wrong. What he thought was enough, wasn’t really much at all.

How Your Attitude Can Make It Worse

The fact that guys are acting like school children in anguish for the bell on a Friday afternoon doesn’t help at all. They’re thinking way ahead, imagining how good it would feel to be inside her, picturing her innocent face when he starts penetrating her.

But that’s not great sex!

Great sex is a moment by moment experience!

For example, when you kiss, think ONLY of her lips. Close your eyes and feel the suppleness of them. Gently explore her upper set, playfully bite her lower lip. Proceed to the sides where both meet. Notice it’s much thinner there. Probe the fleshy inner part of her smackers where it’s warmer and smoother. Feel how her lips transform when she smiles while kissing. How does that feel? Breathe deeply, inhaling her soul. Do this without care for time or the future.

And that’s just for the lips! We’re not even dealing with dynamite stuff here. But you won’t appreciate these details if your mind is somewhere else.

Your effectiveness lies where your focus is, so don’t ever think of anything else except what you’re doing IN THE MOMENT. When you nuzzle, think only of that and nuzzle your way into her entire body. Focus only on that. Focus, and your senses will reward you with awareness that’ll blow your mind. You’ll dawn to the realization that you were missing so much just because you were always out of the moment.

How To Use Oral Sex To Help Introduce Your Partner To Anal Pleasure

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Oral sex can be an excellent bridge to first time anal sex if you’re careful how you go about it. Here’s what to do to get the ball rolling on anal play.

The Connection Between Oral Sex And Anal Sex

What’s the connection? It’s best to start slowly introducing anal play to your partner while you’re giving them great oral sex. Why? Because you create an association in their mind with something they already like (oral sex) with the thing you’re trying to get them to like (anal sex). Creating that association is key.

So is going slowly. You cant go from cunnilingus to having anal sex with them right away. It’s never a good idea, especially if your relationship is newer and/or this is the first time the two of you have had anal. Slowly is the key word. While giving your partner oral sex, gently introduce a finger up their butt or massage or stroke their taint. That’s a good one. The taint is the gateway drug to anal sex. If they love it when you play with their taint, you’re golden. If you’re patient.

Are YOU Open To Anal Play?

Another thing when trying to introduce your partner to anal sex is to consider whether or not you would be open to reciving it. Yes, you. Most people who are trying to introduce their partner to anal sex (men) are interested in being the giver, not the reciever. You have to be open to receiving as well, if you really want to do it.

Maybe she’s willing to let you do it to her, after she gets to do it for you. Again, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander (we’re sure they were referring to anal sex when they came up with this saying, aren’t you?) and if you’re truly wanting her to open herself to the possiblity of anal play, you’re going to have to be willing to spread your own cheeks and take it like a man (literally).

Why men have such hang ups on this, we’ll never know. It doesn’t make you gay. Any sex act that occurs between two people of different genders is by default, heterosexual in nature. Just remember to go slow, breathe deep and use lots of lube. If you don’t follow those three steps, your transition from oral sex to anal sex will be a short trip. It will stop all the fun, and often leads to injury. The emergency rooms of the world are filled with people who didn’t heed this warning. Don’t believe us? Call the E.R. and ask.

Who Is Really After The Anal Play?

There’s a really big elephant in the room here, and it’s time we talked about it. Who wants to add anal sex to your oral sex and intercourse buffet of sex? You or your partner or both? Are you trying to tell your partner it’s okay to do, because you know deep down they secretly want to? Or is it something you want to do and you really don’t care if he/she’s into it or not. You can’t force anyone to do anything.

Unless you’re Rick James or Charlie Sheen. And even they would up paying for it eventually. Putting pressure on your partner to do something they really aren’t into and won’t enjoy is just not cool and always ends in disaster. It will blow up in your face (and not in a fun way). The only question is when and how bad. So don’t do that. It’s not worth jepardizing your relationship with your partner for something like this.

If that’s the case, talk about your desires with your partner and why your’e interested in going from oral sex to anal sex. Maybe it’s not the anal sex itself that turns you on. Maybe it’s something else. Starting a dialogue is always the first step to great sex, because it will get things out in the open, you’ll get a feel for what the other is into and open to and then you can come to some kind of understanding, and that leads to compromise. Which, honestly, at the end of the day is what relationships of all kinds are all about. Alot of give and take as it were. And no, that’s not code for a something.

How To Get A Woman To Relax Before Oral Sex

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Oral sex can give a girl an incredible orgasm, but not if she’s tense and uptight. Get your lady relaxed before oral sex if you want her to enjoy it! Here’s how!

Why Relaxation Is Key

If her mind is relaxed but her muscles are so tight that her legs snap shut every time your head gets to her knees, you aren’t going to get very far during cunnilingus. Like we said earlier, a massage will both get her mentally and physically prepared for cunnilingus. If massage, however, isn’t on the menu tonight, there are a few other things you can try to get her so relaxed that her legs turn into butter.

How To Get Her To Calm Down And Chill Out

A Hot Bath

This is an oldie but goodie. But we don’t mean draw her bath, plop her in it and go about your business for thirty minutes until she’s done. We mean light candles, talk to her and wash her hair for her. Let her know that you are interested in her! If done properly, a conversation geared towards her while in a soothing, hot bath will do the same thing as an erotic massage – kill two birds with one stone and get both her mind and body relaxed and ready for cunnilingus.

A Foot Rub

Believe it or not, foot rubs can do even more magic than a back massage and a hot bath put together. Why? Studies in reflexology show that pressure points all over the foot lead directly to specific points in the body. When these pressure points are activated, the corresponding point in the body becomes relaxed and can promote wellness. A good foot rub will activate all of these points and will turn her entire body to putty.

Brushing Her Hair

Brush it while watching a movie together or braid it for her if her hair is long enough. You can also do variations on this by scratching her scalp or using one of those metal spider-looking head massagers. It will make her spine tingle! This is a great way to get good, relaxing feelings from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet.

Anything Physically Relaxing

Use your imagination. If your idea to get her mentally relaxed is walking around in the mall and window shopping together, then buy her one of those chair massages (or get one together). Some malls even have water massage beds. You can also do something like buying her a manicure or pedicure (or both!) and complimenting her nails when she is finished. Anything that will physically calm her is the ticket to a successful cunnilingus session with a mind bending orgasm at the finish.

Oral Sex Safety Tips You Can’t Miss

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Oral sex is safer than traditional intercourse when it comes to STD’s, but it’s not 100% safe – here’s how to make oral sex fun and less risky!

How To Get Started

Safe fingering includes the use of medical-grade gloves, which are easily found in most pharmacies or purchased online in a myriad of colors and textures. Some even come pre-lubricated or powdered for a more realistic feel.

Next, grab a brand new dental dam. If you plan on some anal as well as vaginal play, make sure to use to separate dams that don’t come into contact with each other, as you don’t want to give her a nasty infection. Also, try to purchase one specifically made for oral sex; there are some that even come pre-flavored, lubed and/or with a stickable strip at the top for ease of use.

Write on one side of the latex, “Lick here!” so you know which side is closest to you, and which will be up against her skin.

Grab your choice of water-based lubricant and apply some to her side of the dental dam. Put it over her entire vulva, covering her vagina, labia and clitoris.

Using One

Be aware that she’ll need a firmer tongue when using a dental dam than without. Although everything in this series works equally as well with one than not, she won’t be able to feel the friction of your tongue, just the vibrational aspect.

Don’t be afraid to use your teeth lightly. You don’t want to rip the latex, but you do want to apply more pressure than you normally would. So, scraping and light biting isn’t taboo here.

Will A Dam Make It Less Pleasurable?

I’ll be honest: using a one dampens your ability to be an expert cunnilinguist. There’s a lot of sensation lost when latex separates you and your lover, just as it’s different when you use a condom and when you don’t. Having said that, you can still create an unforgettable, amazing oral sex experience for the both of you, but you do need to be aware of the limitations as well. Or, use it to employ different sensations and techniques that you couldn’t without it:

  • Use the edge of the latex and rake it along her clitoris.
  • Roll it up and use it as a makeshift finger, either to tease her vulva and clitoris, or inside of her against her G-Spot.
  • Wrap it around the top of the clitoris, then push and pull the edges to rub and ‘shine’ it.

Why Should I Use One?

Question: Why can’t I just use my fingers to play with her, and then have sex? Can’t I just skip the whole dental dam/oral sex thing entirely?

Even with the protection a dental dam provides against STD’s, and your partner will still receive a lot of pleasure from your oral sex efforts. Why deny her that joy? It’s definitely a challenge for some to get over the mental barrier that dental dams provide, but it’s really just mental, not physical. She’ll still feel good, and you’ll feel even better knowing you can make her happy and sexually satisfied.

How Do I Keep It In Place?

Question: I use dental dams every time I go down on a girl. I don’t mind them, other than I can’t seem to keep them in place and still do all of the things that you’re asking me to do with my hands and so forth. How can I make it work?

If there’s one thing that people complain about loudly when it comes to dental dams, it’s this: trying to hold one in place while using your mouth and fingers to please a woman is a chore indeed, and sometimes, extremely challenging. The other major complaint is the lack of sensation that some women (and men) feel when using a dental dam.

There are some ingenious ways to keep a dental dam secure:

  • Panties with the crotch cut out, and worn over top of it.
  • Using garters to attach from one side to another, and wrapping them around the woman’s leg.
  • Finding the really sticky Saran Wrap, employing it as a dental dam, and molding it to stay in place.
  • Applying spirit gum to temporarily glue it in place.

Are any of these suggestions reasonable, and field tested to work well? Not really. They might work for you, but for the most part the easiest way is still the way that prevents you from using one hand to please her, and that’s you holding it in place. So instead of trying to figure out ways to keep it in place so that your hands don’t have to, let’s instead explore a method and mindset that requires you to think about how you can stimulate her while still holding it in place.

  • Get a vibrator or dildo that looks like a penis, and one that will fit without a lot of wiggle room inside of her vagina.
  • If you chose a vibrator, put it in with just an inch sticking out of her, but if is a dildo, use only the first few inches, where the dildo should be the widest.
  • Lick her using the routine that suits your needs best, keeping an eye on the dildo or vibrator to make sure that she’s clenching it with her muscles as she gets closer to orgasm.
  • If you are using a vibrator, you may be able to rest your chin on its edge to steady yourself, as well as to add the extra sensation of a slightly vibrating tongue.

Another option is to purchase a humorous-looking sex toy called The Accomodator, which is basically a dildo that you strap around your ears and attach to your chin. This way, you can lick her clitoris while penetrating her with the face-dildo. Unusual, yes, but if you can get over the laugh-factor, it’s actually a really handy little device.