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The 3 Deadly Mistakes Guys Make When They Approach Women

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When you don’t know how to approach women the right way, you’re constantly missing out on opportunities. Very few guys understand how to approach women and begin conversations in a playful, interesting way that creates a compelling REASON for women to want to know them and take things further.

When you spot a hot girl, you can assume that the last 47 guys who attempted to approach her — whether it was at the bar, the supermarket, or on the street — sent all the wrong signals. They immediately made her feel uncomfortable and caused her “force field” to go on high alert. At that point, she’s going to look for a reason to end the interaction as soon as possible.

She may indulge you with a few minutes of polite conversation and then blow you off gently (“It’s been nice talking to you, but I need to go find my friend…”), or she might shoot you down immediately (“Uh, I’ve got a boyfriend”). Either way, when you approach women the wrong way, it’s very unlikely that the conversation is going to go anywhere.

Don’t Make These Mistakes When You Approach Women

Here are the three deadliest mistakes that guys make when they approach women, and some tips on how to AVOID these traps and get the results you want.

Deadly Approach Mistake #1: Asking permission to talk to her

This means you must eliminate from your vocabulary phrases such as:

“Excuse me, may I know your name?”

“Hi, do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Opening a conversation this way instantly puts you at her mercy. In her eyes, you are a random stranger and you WANT something from her. This is an uncomfortable situation for anyone to be in.

Note: Offering to buy her a drink may sound like you want to GIVE her something, but she knows what you’ll expect in return: you’ll want to monopolize her time for the next ten or twenty minutes. When you offer to buy a drink for a woman you don’t even know, you’re basically attempting to bribe her into granting you some of her time.

Would a truly confident guy approach women this way? Absolutely not. There’s a correct point in the interaction to buy a girl a drink, and a clever way of doing it and it’s certainly not in the first 30 seconds.

One of the rules of effective conversation is for you to stay in control at all times. You maintain the “power position” and dictate the flow of the conversation and the topics that are discussed (and avoided). The key is to do this subtly. You can learn how to “invisibly” guide the conversation so that you make her laugh, experience positive emotions, and share personal details (such as her passions, ambitions and talents) that she’d normally never share with a guy she only met a few minutes ago.

This is when women begin to feel attraction, and you’re on your way to success.

The first key to maintaining this sense of power and control is NOT starting the conversation in a weak, uncertain manner. Asking permission is a surefire way to blow the conversation before it even begins. Don’t do it.

Deadly Approach Mistake #2: You must assume rapport.

When two people have “rapport” it means they’re comfortable with each other and have things in common. They vibe with each other in the manner of old friends — joking around, having fun, talking about topics of common interest instead of the conversation sounding like a job interview.

When a guy with weak approach game starts conversing with a woman, the “conversation” seems stiff and formal and usually consists of questions: “So what’s your name?” “Are you from around here?” “So what do you do for work?” He could be having this same conversation with his dentist!

On the other hand, the guy who is extremely good with women always assumes rapport. He doesn’t bother with the boring “getting to know you” questions. Right from the start, he’s joking around with her, playfully teasing her, asking her questions and telling quick stories that make her smile and stimulate her imagination.

He makes her feel invested in the conversation, and she’ll want to show that she can keep up with him. Even in the first few minutes he’s showing her that he’s a fun, dynamic, interesting guy who leads an attractive lifestyle.

Deadly Approach Mistake #3: Not having a conversational game plan and a closing strategy.

Most guys put way too much emphasis on what to say first (or how to “open” her). Actually, what you follow up with is far more important — how you transition into the conversation and get it flowing.

From there, you’ll want to use techniques of mine such as Hypotheticals, Advanced Cold Reads, and Hooks & Ladders (my method for making sure the conversation NEVER runs out of steam).

After You Approach Women, What Comes Next?

In short, you’ve got to know how to keep guiding the conversation forward so that it follows a sequence of steps that push her different “emotional buttons.” For example, building comfort is a crucial early step. No woman is going to want to give you her phone number (much less sleep with you that night) if you haven’t made her feel comfortable with you. This is why learning the right comfort-building techniques is so important.

Next, once comfort has been established, you’ll want to start challenging her & teasing her (but always in a light, playful way). This is the stage where you frame yourself as a high-value man who is “hard to get.” You’re going to make her work for your attention and positive feedback, and make her want to measure up to YOUR standards. (This is the complete opposite of how most guys interact with women, as they awkwardly try to demonstrate that they’re up to HER standards.)

Then comes the Escalation stage, and finally there is The Close. Depending on the circumstances, this could mean getting her phone number (and having her WANT to see you again soon, rather than ignoring your calls), or taking her home that night. So few guys understand how to “close” successfully.

Learning how to approach women and follow these steps means the difference between chatting with girls every time you go out but never sleeping with them – or seeing them again – and having the “rock star sex life” that most men can only fantasize about, leading a lifestyle filled with fun, beautiful women.

It means that literally anytime you leave your home – whether it’s to run errands, or to hit a bar or nightclub with your friends – you’ll look for opportunities to approach women and have fun interactions, instead of this being something you shy away from, or stress out about.

4 Romantic Things To Do For Your Man

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Romance becomes passé when the relationship has hit a plateau. If you’re wondering when this happens, here are some hints that the relationship is heading toward a rut:

  • You act like strangers around each other.
  • You become too lazy to have sex with your partner.
  • Everything your partner does seems irritating.
  • When you make love, your partner does the same thing, whether or not you are enjoying it.

While situations vary among couples, there are some similarities. The relationship is becoming monotonous and the spark is dying. Before your connection with your partner gets damaged any further, try the following.

Celebrate “His” Day

Once a month, you can designate a day when he can become king for 24 hours. Do it in “his-and-hers” fashion to be fair. On his special day, he can have an erotic massage, be served breakfast in bed and be the passive partner during sex. The same should apply when it’s your turn. You may want to wait until his birthday comes around before you do something special. With this gesture, you can make sure that you remind your partner that you’re a couple every once in a while.

Celebrate Your Anniversary – By The Month

This may seem corny (and often, expensive), but reminding each other how long you have been together may help you both understand that you’re in it for the long haul. Also, remembering that times when you were still dating may help improve your romance and how you treat each other. Bake a cake or bring home something special during that day. Make sure it’s something you don’t usually do. If he’s into pasta, make a full-course dinner with pasta as the main dish. If he’s into grilling, you can prepare a week in advance and plan a grill-fest on your month anniversary.

Kinky Thoughts

When you’re just lazing about on a weekend night and relaxing together, you can talk to him about your sex fantasies. Tell him what turns you on, and if he doesn’t take the hint, load the video that got you turned on so he can see for himself.

A perverted train of thought is usually associated with males, which makes it a surprising novelty when the woman starts showing signs of being kinky. But remember to act on your fantasies as soon as you mention them. Talking is the way to begin a kinky night of fantasizing with your partner. But you have to act on one of your fantasies that night, or the gesture is wasted. Simply saying “let’s try it” will get him going.

Encourage Him To Talk Dirty

Sometimes, men are hesitant to talk dirty during sex for fear of offending the woman. This hesitation is present whether or not you’re married. What you can do is to encourage him to talk sexy to you, just to push him in the right direction. After that, you can reciprocate and talk in the same manner to let him know you’re ok with dirty talk.

3 Rude Things To Say To A Woman You Just Met

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When flirting, do you have to compliment a woman you just met to successfully get a date? Not always. Do you think jerks, bad boys or the other guys she falls for tell her how beautiful and perfect she is?

They catch her attention by saying something “out of left field.” Sometimes it’s even downright RUDE! And in this article, you’ll discover three of these “Rude” things you can say to a woman to grab her full attention.

You’ll find out how to follow them up with a compliment or just small talk to win her heart. And you’ll be able to walk right up to a beautiful woman, grab her full attention in two sentences and be just one step away from getting her phone number. (Especially if you know her already)

Here’s exactly what you gotta say:

“Whoa. You Can’t Just Do That…”

Guaranteed to stop a woman in her tracks. You’d say this to a woman you see on the street, or sit next to on the subway, or even a woman you see shopping for clothes at the mall. You can use this flirting technique on women who are working, or women you work with. Even with college students or women you see everyday. The “trick” here is to follow it up with a compliment about something she’s doing. For example:

  • “Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “When you walk in here smiling like that, I lose my whole train of thought”
  • “Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “Your smile is too pretty to walk right by me without saying hi.”
  • “Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “Something about your energy is messing with me. I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

You get the idea, right? Of course – you’re catching her attention with a kind of rude sentence, then flipping it around to a positive compliment. You’ll have her full attention and the SURPRISE sexual attraction she gets when she meets someone truly charming.

“I Can’t Believe You Just Did That!”

You want to use this one after she DOES something. Your goal here is to make her think, “Wait. Did I just do something embarrassing or wrong?” And it’s OK to make her think this because you’re about to make her feel good with a compliment.

Here are some examples:

  • “I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “The way you looked at me made my heart skip a few beats. What’s your name?”
  • “I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “Walked right by me without apologizing.” “For what?” “For having such a great smile, I forgot everything I was thinking about.”
  • “I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “The way you move has almost a hypnotizing effect. And for a split second, every single person in this room was looking at you. What’s your name?”

And this time, we added a second step to the pick up line. Sometimes, this step was to ask her for her name. (This lets you transition into small talk easier) And once, you made the tension even greater, by adding another “rude” statement in the middle.

Now you’re starting to see how powerful this type of flirting really is.

“Are You Seriously Going To Do That?”

You know the drill by now – make her freeze up, then give her a compliment. So let’s see how you’d use this “rude” statement:

  • “Are you seriously going to do that?” “Do what?” “Walk right by me without saying hi.” (This one should be done with a smile and a playful, flirting attitude.
  • “Are you seriously going to do that?” “Do what?” “Walk right by me without saying hi.” She laughs “What’s your name?”

In this example, you “evolve” one of these rude statements into a conversation.

First, it’s just the “rude” statement and a teasing compliment. (This is like flirting, or bantering with her.)

Second, you ask “What’s your name?” to add some small talk. Third, you tell her your name, and then ask her what she’s up to. This way, you get her name (she’ll tell you because you told her) and you’re on a better small talk conversation.

The Worst Dating Advice EVER!

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Dating advice can be both good and bad. Here is some of the most awful dating advice you can get – so be sure to steer clear of these!

What She Said:

For women, the worst dating advice is anything that has to do with the book “The Rules.” There should never ever be rules when it comes to dating. When you allow rules and try to have them you just end up not being yourself and you end up playing games. Last time I checked, we aren’t in elementary school, so stop it! If you want to ask a guy out, do it! If you want to call a guy, ext a guy or sleep with a guy, DO IT! Pay no attention to what you think others thinking you should do Dating is fun, so have fun!

For guys, I think the worst advice is the idea that they should be super sweet. Yes, you should be a gentleman but don’t let her control the date/relationships or make all the decisions. That being said, don’t be super cocky either. Respect her but respect yourself first. There is a fine line between dorky and cocky. Hopefully you are man enough to know how to be yourself.

What He Said:

Worst dating advice ever? Anything ever said on Oprah, or anything ever written in a book by women. Ever notice that most women who write dating books are single and or have a strong “I hate men” vibe to them? Well, you should’ve. Cause they do. Not only that, they have no idea what they’re talking about.

They’re trying to make sense of men from a female perspective. That’s stupid. Those “the rules” chicks are man hating evil demons from hell. I’m being too nice, I know. I should really say what I think, but seriously. They should be stoned to death by women everywhere, because they make men run like hell. We’re not afraid of commitment, we’re afraid to committing to those women.

Know what else is stupid, all those sell out men, who are lying to women under the guise of “telling it like it is (Steve Harvey and that “Men Are from Mars” dude, I am looking your direction.) They make us seem like dogs and that we need to be trained or fixed, or whatever. It’s not true. You don’t need to fix anyone, and you shouldn’t wait an arbitrary number of dates in order to get a guy to stick around or be faithful. That’s the worse dating advice ever heard.

Truth is, you should have sex with someone when you feel like it. When it feels right is when it’s right to sleep with someone. Could be seven dates in, could be seven minutes in. When it’s right, it’s right. There’s some sort of myth out there that if you withhold sex from a man, somehow you’ll get him to stick around longer. That’s like saying starving people will stay somewhere where they know there is no food.

The opposite is true. The sooner you sleep with a dude, the better in terms of keeping him around. Maybe he won’t stick around, but that is on him, and has nothing with when you sleep with him. If he’s going to bolt, he’s going to bolt and why not get some anyway? He might be really good at it, and it’s never really that bad.

For guys, don’t buy into feminism. There’s nothing wrong with women earning more and being equal, but at the end of the day, it always boils down to “Me Tarzan, you Jane.” All women want to be led, whether they know it or not. That’s why they love bad boys, at least for a while. They take charge, they know who they are, they make no apologies for it, they are exciting and unpredictable. They usually wind up treating girls crappy, so don’t model that part, but model the rest. Women want a man to do all those things and rock their world.

They say you should be yourself. That’s loser talk. Nobody ever got laid “being themselves.” You can only get some “being your best self.” You should be true to yourself, but always be at your best, inside and out. Make it easy on yourself too. The worst dating advice a guy ever got is “it’s whats on the inside that matters.” Yes, that’s important, but she’s never going to see if it if you look like a morbidly obese serial killer. Get nice clothes, get your hair did, get in the gym, make your outside a reflection of the inside. Women love a great visual as much as men do. (Don’t believe me? Two words: Magic Mike. I rest my case).

How To Break Up The Right Way

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Relationship advice can help you avoid the pitfalls of a messy break up. Here is what real men and women are saying about breaking up the right way.

What She Said:

No Birthdays Or Text Messages

Breaking up with someone can get really messy.  Especially if you have been dating for a while.  If you want to end a relationship, one of the worst ways to do it would be via a text message.  If you text that things are over then you really are not giving someone the respect they deserve.  Even if your relationships turned out to be a complete disaster, it is important that you end things face to face.

Another terrible way to break up with someone is by using social media like facebook.  Changing your relationship status to single or worse, posting pictures of you with a new guy is just cruel.  Yes social media makes life easier but it should never ever show where your heart stands without telling the person first.

Another terrible way to break up with someone is when it is there birthday or a major holiday.  No matter how ready you are to move on, sometimes its best to wait a day.  If you end it on his birthday or an important holiday you will forever ruin that day for him and no one wants to have a bad reminder of his or her birthday or Christmas.

In a nutshell, if you are going to break up do not tell him all that he did wrong or high light is faults.  Break up and leave him his dignity.  Do not call him names, or worse, make mention to his penis size or bad bedroom skills.  He was once your boyfriend; respect what you had because there once was a time when you did care for him.

What He Said:

Run It Like A Business

Look, the fact of the matter is that the person on the receiving end is not going to like the rejection. There are exceptions to be sure, but this is a good general rule. Why is this important to realize? Because most people spend a lot of time and energy around planning their breakup speech because they want to be  nice or let the person down easy.

This is impossible.

If you know they aren’t going to like this, there’s no point in trying to plan it so that they will. Just make it fast and nasty. Tell them you don’t want to see them any more, then hang up. In person is good, but don’t do it during a meal or a typical date activity. No texting. No just disappearing, no avoiding their calls or texts until they “get it.” Just let them know and move forward.

This may sound harsh, and maybe in one way it is, but really it’s not that harsh. What’s harsh is drawing out or prolonging the process. The only real reason to do that is for your own ego, to make yourself feel better. That’s great and all, but making yourself feel better at the expense of others is not good.

So deal with it with the coldness of an IRS auditor or HR person. When you get canned, they don’t give you a big long flowery speech, they give you your last check and tell you to get your shit and go. They aren’t mean about it, they aren’t cocky they aren’t happy to do it, but they do it quickly and as painless as possible.

Run it like a business, bitches. If you have any of their stuff, make sure to give it to them in person when you do the breaking up. Don’t talk about the romance at the beginning or that you think they are a really, really great person and that they will find someone special soon or any of that typical breakup crap. Lying to them will prolong the process. Just end it.

It may surprise you, but they actually would rather you do it that way. They will feel relived, even if they don’t like the news they are hearing. They’ll move on and so will you.

Don’t Try To Stay Friends

And for the love of God, don’t give them that “lets be friends” crap. You’re not going to be friends any more, so why pretend? And for the other love of God, don’t stay Facebook friends with them. Sever all social media ties. They don’t need to know what you’re doing and vice versa. It’s over.