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Friend Zone Damage Control

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When dating, beware of the “Friend Zone” – we have all been in it, and it sucks. Despite all the glorious positions you can be in with a women, there is one that no man wants to be in. When placed in it by a woman, you lose all romantic interest in her eyes. You become a sexual non-entity with the arousing powers of her own brother, or a lampshade. Once you’re there, she’s not going to be interested in dating you.

As you gain more experience with women, you will find yourself in the friend zone less and less and will learn many ways to preemptively stop yourself from winding up in it. However, that is not what I am going to get into with this article. Instead I am going to share some ways that you can remove yourself once being placed in it.

Be Willing To Lose The Friendship

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is that you have to be willing to lose her completely. One thing I have learned in my years managing relationships with women is that two people who are platonic don’t sleep with each other. You will not be able to go after her if you are afraid to lose her, doing so will only plant you deeper in it. So what’s the most important step?

Make Yourself Less Available

One of the main reasons you probably got placed in the friend zone in the first place (instead of dating her) is because you made yourself overly available. You constantly made plans to hang out with her without making a move. The longer you hang out with a girl without hooking up, the higher the chance you will be placed in it. So what do you do? Get away from her. Distance yourself and for a little bit stop making an effort to hang out with her. If she is a real “friend” she should be making an effort to hang out with you. You’re soon going to realize that she probably won’t be setting up a time to hang out anytime soon.

As time goes by she will become in touch with you. If not, you can slowly re-engage but this time with a different approach. For example, do not be her therapist. Do not give her advice for how to deal with her problems. If you need listen, only do so mockingly. You are no longer a shoulder to cry on and have no need to feel sorry for her problems. She is a big girl, she will figure it out.

Keep Your Options Open

In the mean time you should be talking to or dating other girls. Not to make her jealous, but to create other opportunity for yourself. Only once you have emotionally removed yourself from the girl you are in the friend zone with, will she start chasing you. Also, this is a great time to work on staying out of it with new girls.

Time is beneficial to you here and use it to your advantage. I’m talking about going months without being in touch. It may seem harsh but if you want her that bad, this is what it takes.

After making yourself scarce to her you have opened up a window to change the frame of the relationship. Start sending her mixed signals by escalating touch and showing interest in dating her. Do not be afraid to start flirting with her. You have not talked to her for a while, you want to come back seeming like a different, more sexual person.

Change Your Goals

You want to be coming from the mindset that you want her, but it does not matter if you get her. Remember, you can’t be afraid to lose her. In fact if you are doing any of this to just try and “get her,” it is not going to work. Stop trying to get her. It may take a few months to get out of the mindset where you are trying to be the guy for her, but only then will you be able to start dating her. And at that point it is up to you to decide if you really want her.

If you honestly have a strong friendship with a girl and you really don’t want to ruin it with dating, then you need to accept you will never hook up with her. But you need to ask yourself, is your spending time with her just another hope for you to hook up out of some miracle, or is for your own enjoyment. Remember, people who are platonic don’t sleep together. But if they do, they can become friends that have sex.

More On Getting Out Of The Friend Zone:

  • You have to be willing to say no to her.
  • You can ask her advice about a girl you are seeing, but more importantly talk about the sexual aspect of it. Make her see you as a someone who enjoys sex.

If you are someone that finds yourself getting into the friend zone, say things along these lines when just getting to know a girl:

  • “I speak my mind and it can sometimes get me in trouble, but that’s just who I am.”
  • “Don’t play games cause you won’t be able to keep up with me; honesty is what I am attracted to.

How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Going All The Way?

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When you have sex with someone for the first time, it can be a wonderful new experience. It can also be a bit of a disaster, especially if you rush into things without thinking. Sometimes it can be hard to decide when the timing is right to become physically intimate.

In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

5 “Hacks” Online Dating Websites Are Terrified You’ll Find Out

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Between you and me, online dating is a hoax.

No, I don’t mean you can’t meet ladies online. In fact, you can meet so many girls online, you can have a full time sex life without ever leaving your house! I mean the companies who own online dating sites have a dirty secret: They’d like you to fail over and over again. Because they want to make sure you are frustrated, so they can bill your credit card.

In this article, you’ll discover 5 “hacks” you can use to dramatically increase your success in online dating. You’ll find out how they’re trying to keep you down. And you’ll discover how to show online dating sites who’s boss:

The Perfect Profile Picture

Ever wonder what the perfect online dating profile picture is? Well, it’s not the 6-pack pic (studies show most females aren’t into guys with 6 packs, strangely enough). And it’s none of the pictures that show how rich or powerful you are. (They’re the worst kind of bragging)

INSTEAD, it’s a secret picture no sane man would ever think to use: The sleeping picture!

Here’s how you get it:

  • Have a friend take a picture of you while you’re sleeping
  • Then, add it in to your profile pictures (Not your main one, try making it picture three or four)
  • Watch your response to your messages shoot WAY up!

(It’s the quickest way to show your vulnerable side)

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

I’ve got to give the online dating sites a break on this one – they actually have no clue. In fact, I discovered this secret a few years ago, myself. And I kept it to myself, until I decided to “retire” from online dating. So I guess technically I’ve been hiding it from you. Oops. However, those online dating sites don’t get off the hook!

They bombard you with pictures where girls fall for jacked, rich guys. In this case, they’re lying to you. Even though their research tells them the truth! (I stole the six pack study from a Match.com result)

Where To Find Smart, Sexy Chicks

Ever wonder where the ladies with brains AND beauty are hiding? Hint: You’ll never find them if you look through profiles. You’re going to get “booby blinded” and veer off course. The truth is, it’s impossible to tell whether a woman has a good personality or not when you look at her profile. Because she probably rewrote and edited it four or five times.

Turns out, most online dating sites have a section where men and ladies share their opinions about dating, sex and relationships. And these “forums” can be goldmines when you want to meet girls. In fact, just looking through posts can tell you loads about the woman who wrote them. (You may even find a woman you really like – a woman with a good head on her shoulders, and a pretty, curvy body to boot)

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

In this case, it’s your own damn fault. Because survey after survey tells dating sites that forums are “nerdy,” so dating sites don’t promote them hard. Most dating sites don’t even link to their forums. You might have to dig through a few links to find these magical places.

So how can you cruise for smart, sexy chicks without looking like a nerd? It’s easy:

  • You find her profile on the forums
  • Then you send her a message “out of the blue,” like you stumbled across her profile in the search menu.
  • You reap the benefits of the forums without the social risk of posting on them. Genius!

(And for the record, I’m a total nerd. You can be nerdy and proud and still meet girls. You just want to keep your nerdy side in check until she’s falling for you. Then it’s cute, instead of nerdy.)

They’re Sabotaging Your First Message

A major feature on most online dating sites allows you to send a woman a “gift,” along with your message. They tell you this gift makes females respond to messages better. In fact, most sites give you a message format to follow.

They’re WRONG!

Do the exact opposite of what they recommend: Never include any “bribe” for reading your message, and keep your message short and to the point. Tell her, “Hey, I saw your profile and had to message you. Here’s why…” and then tell her what you liked about her and her profile. Finally, ask her a question so she can message you back.

Being honest like this works better than most online dating website’s template messages. (I’ll explain why in a later section)

Why the online dating website are hiding it from you:

It’s in their best interest. You see, most “gifts” cost something. Sometimes it’s a certain amount of “points” you get from being on their site. Sometimes it’s real, live cash money. Either way, these sites make money when you send gifts. Sometimes it’s your money and sometimes it’s advertising money.

Most Websites Hire Dozens Of “Fake” Women

Ever notice that six gorgeous girls with big breasts are just WAITING for you at whateversite.com? And they live right in your area, too! Lucky you, lucky you! Truth is, these ladies are called “plants.” Bigger dating sites use “Geolocation Tracking” to figure out which city you live in. Then, they’ll show you stock pictures and tell you these girls are waiting for

It’s a lie!

Instead of joining a website you haven’t seen for yourself:

  • Try a website like bugmenot.com
  • Use a trial password account
  • And check out the girls  there, for yourself
  • Only join if you see girls you like.

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

Cold hard cash, baby.

They assume men want to meet HOT ladies online. We don’t surf online dating sites to meet average looking girls. So, to get you to sign up, they put “plants” in their ads. Even worse – most sites employ a few hundred “plant profiles.” Fake profiles with fake pics, designed to make you message them. They think once you send your first message, you can’t quit.

So if you don’t get a message back from that SUPER hot girl, you could have sent a bad message. Or you could have sent a message to a plant.

The Male/Female Ratio Secret

Think it’s some sort of cruel prank your messages never get returned? Even by girls who are average looking at best? Well the dating sites don’t tell you: The ratio of ladies to men is something like 1 woman for every 4 men. Why is this ratio so screwed up? Because a hot woman can meet men wherever she goes.

In fact, dozens of men approach HER for dates. So you’ll see less girls online dating than men. This means every woman is getting four times as many messages as her profile “deserves.” This makes your message “just one of a hundred.” Instead of something special or unique. To make her read your message, you gotta use some hacks: Make your messages look personal, and don’t hit on her right away.

Try using the subjectline: “Hey, noticed something about u…” Then use the message you learned in hack three.

Why the dating sites are hiding it from you:

Would you sign up for an online dating website if they told you “We have four times as many men as females!” Nope. Didn’t think so. You now have the tools to make online dating much, much easier. I can hear you thinking: “If only there were a way to “hack” real life dating, as well.”

How To Flirt With Women

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Flirting with women doesn’t always come naturally. For many guys, even just being around a woman will make them get nervous, clam up and stutter their words. However, the guys who seem to get all the girls have a simple secret to seducing women. You don’t have to resign yourself to being a dud in front of the girls though, because their secret can be easily learned. It’s all about relaxing, being yourself and having fun!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJYeJ7XdLy0[/youtube]

Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

Dating is supposed to be fun, but many guys take themselves too seriously when they’re trying to meet and flirt with a woman. They’ll be so worried about making the wrong moves or saying something stupid to actually be themselves or get to know a girl. A lot of guys are too scared of screwing things up to actually approach a girl, let alone flirt with her. You’re definitely going to make some mistakes when it comes to hitting on the ladies and flirting with them.

You’re not going to be super smooth every time, but the point is to relax and have a good time. If you take yourself too seriously, you won’t be able to brush it off when you do make a mistake – because let’s face it – most of the mistakes guys make when talking to a woman aren’t so serious they’re going to ruin everything. What will ruin everything is your attitude. So stop being worried about flubbing up and start relaxing and learning to be comfortable in your own skin. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes!

Make Flirting A Dance

Flirting is a lot like a dance – it’s a give and take between two people. When you flirt with a woman, you’re going to listen to her and show interest in her for a little while, and then you’re going to pull back a bit and appear interested in something else. When this happens, the woman will naturally start to show more interest in you as you pull back, and when she pulls back, you’ll then naturally feel more inclined to show even more interest in her.

This is how things escalate from meeting a woman to flirting with her and on to kissing and even more. The give and take between you and the person you’re interested in is what makes things fun and exciting for both of you because neither of you is sure exactly what will happen next! The unpredictability of flirting is why it’s so much fun!

Think Of Flirting As Having Fun

Instead of being so nervous you can’t have any fun, remember that flirting is all about having fun, even if things don’t go exactly the way you wanted them to. In fact, it could be said that if you’re having fun with someone you’re interested in romantically, you’re actually flirting!

When you make a mistake when talking to a woman, it’s important that you remember that flirting is about having fun and learn to let the little things go. Brush it off with a smile and a laugh and continue having a great time with the person you’re interested in. If you let the little things affect you, it’s going to affect your attitude and you’re definitely not going to be any fun to be around. Your date is going to care less about the fact that you spilled mustard on your shirt than she will about the fact that you laughed it off and were still a blast to be around!

When You’re In A Relationship, Don’t Forget The Flirting

One of the things that two people in relationships often forget to do as time wears on is to make sure that the flirting doesn’t stop. While flirting often comes naturally for two people who just met or are in the beginning of a relationship, it takes more work to keep flirting as you get to know someone and are with them for a significant period of time.

To make sure you continue to flirt with your partner well after you started dating them, it’s important to keep the “fun” attitude and continue to not take yourself – and your partner – so seriously. Instead of letting little things in the relationship crop up and bother you, learn to pick your battles and keep things light and fun. Stay relaxed and be yourself – because that’s who your partner wants to be with, right? Remember, she still wants you to flirt with her, tell her she’s pretty, tease her, touch her and laugh with her no matter how long you’ve been together!

The Dating Guide To Picking Up Women

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When dating, most men have got it all wrong and we will correct those dating mistakes here. I think this quote sums it up: My boyfriend used to ask his mother, ‘How can I find the right woman for me?’ and she would answer, ‘Don’t worry about finding the right woman – concentrate on becoming the right man.’” And that is exactly what you will be.

When you look good, feel great, and give off that positive vibe, women will naturally be drawn to your charm. Gone are the days of you begging her for her number or stalking her at work. Just keep these tips in mind:

No Wash-o-Phobia Guys

First off, make sure you are clean and that you smell great. You are not a college guy sharing his dorm with fraternity brothers whose noses are practically desensitized. Keep in mind that dating women requires great hygiene, especially if you want the woman to get her body near yours. A few drops of cologne would be great but please, make sure that the cologne does not bombard her nose with overpowering scent.

Queer Eye For A Straight Guy

Nope. We are not telling you to be metrosexual or anything close to that. Being metrosexual can be a little overbearing for woman, especially if man takes longer to get ready than she does. Good grooming and hygiene are essential, but don’t over do it.

Mr. Smooth

Rather than indulge in any arrogant or aggressive dating approach, take it slow and be smooth. Try to establish eye contact before the approach. Do not just barge in or the woman would think you are an arrogant thug who thinks he is God’s gift to women. Eye contact allows you to assess if the woman is interested. If she looks at you and maintains her gaze, your loins are in for some surprise. If she stares away, do not even bother. Your chances are slim and you are just about as good as Steve Buscemi trying to squeeze a date out of Charlize Theron. Dude, no freaking way.

Your Are Not Ramesses, The Great Pharaoh

Now, we assume that every girl in a bar is with another girl who happens to be lovely as well. Or maybe, there are three or four girls in the group and all of them are pretty. When you make your approach, concentrate on only one woman. You are not a pharaoh in his harem of marvellously good looking girls. Avoid flirting with too many women, or at least don’t be so obvious about it. And without any doubt, do not approach her friends if she has blown you off. Women are fiercely loyal to their friends – and you’re better off heading on to new pastures.

V is for Victory, Not Verbose

Stop pretending to be an eloquent speaker. Get rid of the cliché pick up lines that you learned in high school, a time when you were just trying to understand the female body, let alone her mind! Pick up lines are uncool and will drive your woman to the other side of the world. What matters is your sincerity to converse. Talk to her about things that she is interested in and you shall definitely stand out head and shoulders from the pack. There is nothing more important to a woman than to be listened to and appreciated.