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The 9 Booty Call Commandments

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A booty call is a relationship and like all relationships, they have their own set of rules. Are you following these nine booty call “laws?”

What She Said:

Thou Shall Keep It Clear

The best way to have fun with a booty call is to clearly define your relationship beforehand. Booty calls, by popular definition, include sex without strings. It’s late night satisfaction – the fast food of sex. So make sure you’re not emotionally attached before picking up that phone.

Thou Shall Be Experimental

Take the opportunity to whip out the Kama Sutra and explore some new positions. When the two of you ultimately transition to other relationships, you’ll have some amazing moves to wow your next lover with.

Thou Shall Be Respectful

Booty calls are for legally consenting adults – so act like one! Though it’s a casual connection, the rules of etiquette still apply. You don’t need to exchange details of your day – but treating each other with kindness is a must.

Thou Shall Use Protection

Booty calls are fun and lighthearted. STD’s and unplanned pregnancies are not – use condoms.

Thou Shall Know When To Let It Go

There will come a time when you’ll need to wrap it up. Booty call arrangements are usually short-lived. If it’s not fun anymore – or one of you has met someone else – it’s time to call it a night.

What He Said

Thou Shall Have An Exit Strategy

These things will not last forever. It will be fun for a while, not a long time. Know this in advance and plan accordingly.

Thou Shall Not Expect Too Much

This isn’t going to go anywhere. Except to the bedroom. It’s not going to turn into something more. It isn’t a deep, profound, spiritual connection. If you go into a movie with super high expectations you’ll probably be very disappointed, why? Because you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you go in with lower, more realistic expectations, then you’re more likely to have a good time and really, really enjoy yourself.

Thou Shall Get Yours

Don’t expect the other person to care about your pleasure. This isn’t love making, this is f**cking. Period. It’s fast and nasty, down and dirty. The person on the other end of the equation isn’t concerned about your feelings or making sure you have a good time, more often than not. If anything, they are concerned about getting theirs. Take ownership of your orgasm and make sure you get it, and then some. Don’t wait for anyone else to make it happen. That’s on you.

Thou Shall Not Be Unrealistic

Yes, they are probably going to be having sex with other people. No, it won’t last forever. Yes, it will end badly (if you don’t end it first). What do you expect? It’s a booty call. You can’t accept a collect call from Cambodia and then be shocked when you get your phone bill. Take ownership and accountability. You made the call or at least you answered it. There’s an upside and a downside. Weigh the pluses and minus and act accordingly

How To Get Out Of A Dating Dry Spell ASAP!

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Dating doesn’t always mean you’re going to go out with person after person – some nights, you end up alone! Here’s how to get out of your dating slump NOW!

I’m in a dating dry spell. Big time. It’s been forever. I can’t seem to break it, no matter what! It’s beyond frustrating! What can I do?

What She Said:

Be open to meeting new people, having new experiences and be willing to put yourself out there – safely!

If you’ve been in a long-term dry spell, chances are, subconsciously or otherwise, you were abstaining from a relationship to keep yourself safe emotionally. Perhaps you went through a bad breakup that turned you off from dating for a while. The long and the short of it is, you were most likely feeling too vulnerable to date, so don’t be hard on yourself.

You’ve decided you want to end your dry spell, so that’s half the battle. Now that you’re open to dating again, you’ll most likely be putting out a vibe that interested parties are sure to pick up on! Setting an intention and giving yourself a goal is a powerful way to focus on moving forward.

Be creative. Ask friends to hook you up with their single pals. Register with an online dating service. Head to the park, the gym, the library, the bars. See who’s out there. Don’t be shy about striking up conversations. Have fun flirting! You’ve got nothing to lose.

The main thing, as always, is to be happy with yourself and your life. Your joy and confidence will attract similar people – and that’s a great way to start! Remember to have fun, enjoy yourself and trust that you deserve the best.

What He Said:

Well, the obvious answers are lower your standards and/or get a prostitute. Nothing says “slump buster” like hookers and ugly chicks/dudes. Aside from that, lower the stakes. It’s not that big a deal, and it’s not going to last forever. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Okay, maybe that’s not the inspirational quote that you’ll see on a Hallmark card, but it’s true. It’s not that big a deal. This too shall pass.

After that, you’ll have to figure out what to do next. If you have what you want, keep doing what you’re doing. If not, you will need to do something different. Try and find your patterns and break them. Or make a list of things you swore you’d never do (ask friends to set you up, online dating, whatever) and do them, no matter how painful or awkward. Doing things different will lead to different results.

Keep an open mind and be curious. Be interested but not invested. If something works, keep doing it. If not, don’t and try something else. Wash, rinse, repeat.

You could also give up and abandon all hope. That seems to work especially for couples who think they can’t have a baby. After they give up and make peace with the fact that it will never happen, it usually winds up happening. Funny how that works. Well, funny unless it’s you. Then, well, not so much. But still people will chuckle. Behind your back.

Being frustrated or angry isn’t good. It’s helpful to a degree in that it will make you get off your ass and inspire change, but after you get to that point, they really aren’t very helpful parts of the process. They’re like booster rockets for the space shuttle. They get you to a point and then they no longer provide fuel, so you have to jettison them.

I’ve Got The Hots For One Of My Roommates!

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A booty call can be a lot of fun – but it can also complicate things a great deal if you happen to be living with the person you want to hook up with! It’s not at all uncommon for young roommates of the opposite sex to be attracted to each other – you’re often seeing your roommate in their most vulnerable (and sexiest) situations such as being in the shower or sleeping soundly in their bed. Since you see your house mate often, it’s absolutely natural that you would be thinking about them often. It’s also natural for you to be interested in them in a romantic or sexual way. But does this mean you should act on your feelings and make your roomie a booty call? Or would the wisest thing be to keep your feelings to yourself?

I’m living in a house with a bunch of roommates (Real World style!). I’m attracted to one of the guys and we’ve been flirting a lot – but we’re putting off getting together for fear of complicating our living situation. Neither one of us can afford to move out if things go bad, but we really want to hook up. Thoughts?

What She Said:

I guess it’ll depend on what’s stronger – your libido or your desire to keep your living situation comfortable! I’ll be interested to hear which one wins out.

Ask Yourself Questions First

Here are a few questions to ask yourself before diving in: How strong is the connection? Is it worth possibly putting your living situation in jeopardy? Is this a hookup for sex or do you both want a relationship? If it’s an in-house booty call, how will you feel if he brings home another girl? How will it affect the dynamics of your household? Are you both mature enough to handle it if it doesn’t work out? Of course you can’t know the answers to these questions for sure, but it’ll behoove the situation if you can push yourself by playing devil’s advocate.

If you’re like the rest of us, my guess is that you’ll give in to hooking up – and that’s okay! If you decide to proceed, the best you can do is move forward with a mutual respect for each other – and, if you’re really smart, the utmost respect for your roommates. That means keeping your private time private; and if things do go awry, don’t drag your household into the drama.

You can do the pros and cons list all day long – but hopefully you’ll go with your gut and do what’s best for you. But keep that piggy bank full, just in case.

What He Said:

Hooking up with someone you live with when neither of you could afford to move out if something goes awry? What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?

Sure there’s a lot that COULD go right with this scenario, but is the juice worth the squeeze? That’s what it comes down to. I’m not you and I’m not there, so I can’t speak to that, but I can say I have trouble imagining a situation where the positives outweigh the negatives.

Could the sex be mind blowing? Could this person be the great love of your life? Sure, but they could also go batshit crazy on you and you’re stuck there in a really weird living situation.

And then so are your roommates. Maybe this other person doesn’t go psycho, but how will this affect your roommate dynamic? What if one of your roommates wants to hook up with this person and you do first? That can’t be good. Either way you’re going to be affecting the dynamics in the living situation – you can try and see how it works out. Could it work out, I guess so, but why would you really want to try? No, seriously, tell me. I’m curious.

Relationship Advice: Is It Too Soon To Move In Together?

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A relationship often progresses naturally from dating to moving in to living together and possibly eventually to marriage. When you meet someone, you start flirting and hitting it off, and then you go on a few dates together. Before long, you and the person you’re interested are in a relationship. Once you’re in the relationship, you may notice that you move from the beginning stages to sex to commitment before you really even know what is happening. It’s easy to move fast in a partnership when you’re with someone you really, really like. Countless happy couples met and fell in love quickly, but how do you know if your relationship is going too fast? How can you tell if sharing a house together is the next step, and how do you know if the timing is right?

I’m head over heels in love with my new boyfriend. We’ve only been together one month, but we both feel this is it. Is it too soon to move in together? Our sex life is amazing and we spend every night together anyway!

What She Said:

I’m going to be frank. I’d wait a bit to make sure what you’re feeling is love and not lust. I have no doubt that you’re blissfully happy with your new beau, but your experience is currently tangled with your raging hormones. If this is the real deal, what’s the harm in postponing a life-changing move?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m an optimist when it comes to love. I’ve fallen in love at first sight and it was amazing. I was with this man for over three years, so it definitely wasn’t a fluke. I knew in my heart (and a few other places) that he was the one – at least for that time.

Don’t Rush The Relationship

Of course your sex life is amazing – there’s a mutual attraction at work and things are new. Savor this time – it’s one of the best things life has to offer.

I’m sure you’ve been in relationships before, so you’re no doubt aware that this will fade a bit. And nothing makes the thrill of the new fade more quickly than getting familiar with the old. It’s exciting to strip off your clothes and tumble into bed – it’s another thing entirely to learn that your boyfriend never picks up after himself. The thing that makes the mess less annoying is a deep bond that develops over time.

If He’s The One, Take Your Time!

If this is it, why not enjoy dating to the hilt? Let your body tingle with anticipation on date night. Go a day or two without seeing each other while you still have some “single you” time. Let it build slowly with layers of shared experiences as you truly get to know each other. When moving day comes, it’ll be a confident decision and not a reaction to a situation.

What He Said:

Moving in after a month? What could possibly go wrong? Did my public education prepare me to count that high? No. Not so much.

It’s been a month. It’s been a month. Have I mentioned it’s been a month? Because it’s been a month. Is that sinking in yet? Because seriously. Seriously. It’s only been a month.

Your brain ain’t right. Because it’s been a month (sound familiar?) It’s filled with all kind of fun, narcotic like chemicals. You can’t make sense of things. You are not in a right frame of mind. You shouldn’t be allowed to drive, or operate heavy machinery, unless of course it’s a battery powered cock ring or Sybian.

Where’s The Fire?

It will take time for you to adjust to the great sex (or for it to die down, either one). If it is a great relationship and it is the one, why rush it? Where’s the fire? Are you in a race? Do you want to win a medal? Why are you trying to get so fast to some kind of imaginary destination. Slow down. You have nothing to gain by moving so fast and have everything to lose. Just enjoy the ride!

How To Tell If You Are Really More Than Friends?

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Dating is difficult when you feel like you’re more than friends but just aren’t sure. It’s easy to meet someone and begin a friendship with them, only to start feeling more for them than you originally did as you get to know them. However, taking a friendship to dating can be intimidating, because sometimes you’re not really sure how the other person feels.

If you ask your friend out and they don’t feel the same way as you, you risk ruining the friendship because things will be different after you let them know you have romantic feelings towards them. It’s better to know (for the most part) if you and your friend are actually more than that – so how can you tell if you and your “friend” should start REALLY dating?

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She’s Going To Want To Spend Time With You

If the girl you’re interested in has romantic feelings for you too, she’s going to want to spend as much time with you as possible. She’s going to make excuses to see you and be around you.

She’s Going To Be Okay If The Conversation Turns Sexual

If she’s into you, she’s not going to shy away if the conversation turns towards sex. If she’s not and just wants to be your friend, she’s going to shy away from sexual conversation and stick to topics that are completely platonic. So test her out and bring up a topic that is just a little sexual to see how she reacts – does she shy away from the conversation or does she actively participate in it? If she actively participates in a sexual conversation – and even takes it a little further – it’s a safe bet that she digs you.

You Will Feel It

The energy with friends isn’t the same as the energy you feel when you have an actual connection with someone. If you’ve ever felt that feeling before, you know exactly what it is – there’s no mistaking it. Guys who have never had this connection with someone may not be sure how it feels – but rest assured that you really will know when you do feel it. Pay attention and be looking for that – if you’re not experiencing that real connection, you’re most likely really just friends.

Is She Into The Next Step?

To find out if the girl you like is into taking the next step with you, you have to realize it’s not all about what she says. You have to pay attention to her body language, because she may not be saying anything that lets you know she’s into you at all. Her body language will, however, tell you whether she’s digging you or not. If she is, she’s going to make excuses to get in your space, making eye contact with you and laughing and having a good time with you. Here are some easy ways to tell if she’s ready for you to make the next move.

  • She starts dropping hints for you to make a move
  • When you flirt or are being playful, she reciprocates and shares in the witty banter
  • She opens up and seems to want to talk about more personal topics
  • She’s happy to see you or talk to you
  • She finds excuses to touch you or brush up against you
  • When you touch her, she doesn’t back away – she may even lean closer to you

Don’t Wait Too Long!

If you feel that energy and everything seems to be lining up, don’t wait too long to make a move. Just make it! Ask her out! Don’t wonder whether she’s really into you or not, or second guess yourself. So many guys second guess themselves so much that the girl they like – and who likes them back – thinks that he’s not interested in her! If you feel that romantic connection, go for it! If you wait too long to ask a girl out, you may end up missing the moment entirely.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re so keyed up and worried about figuring out whether a girl likes you back or not, you may miss key signs that she really does like you. You definitely want to be aware of those signs so you can make the next move if you sense she’s into you too. So take a deep breath and relax! Have confidence that you’ll know when things feel right and that she’ll give you plenty of signs to lead you in the right direction. Have fun and wait for that special connection to happen!