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How To Fulfill His Handjob Fantasies

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A handjob is something that a guy would much rather get from a girl than do himself. Here’s how to give your lover the handjob he’s been craving.

As with any sexual activity, communication between both partners is absolutely key to having a successful genital massage, fellatio or even intercourse session. You must keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner when performing your hand job to be able to give him the best experience you can and for you to be comfortable.

You will need to learn what he likes and when he likes it – although it is somewhat your responsibility to pay attention to his bodily cues (such as movements and noises) to learn if he really likes something, it is your partner’s responsibility to let you know if something is not working. If your partner does not tell you when something doesn’t feel as good as he would like it to, he is setting you up for failure!

Don’t Be Too Shy To Ask

Ladies, he’s been masturbating his whole life.

He knows his likes and dislikes and will be appreciative if you ask him to not only tell you, but take his own hand over yours and show you what feels best to him. It may differ from encounter to encounter, but you will get a good sense of how he handles himself “in private” and learn the strokes he used and the pace he is accustomed to.

On the same token, it is crucial to let your partner know if you are uncomfortable with something or if a particular move causes your hands numbness, pain or makes them tire or cramp easily. In doing so, you ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page about genital massage and avoid a lot of frustration!

Living The Fantasy

Part of giving a man a fabulous handjob is helping him to live out his fantasies. Most men do have fantasies while masturbating and it often has to do with YOU! He is imagining you in lingerie, or going down on him in the shower, talking dirty to him or trying out some new position or new place for a love nest.

As he closes his eyes while you play with his manhood, help him to be a part of a fantasy. Tell him what part of the fantasy you are and what part he plays (he often wants to simply be the most amazing lover with the package you go wild over).

Why Men Love Blowjobs So Much

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Oral sex is one of the most incredible, orgasmic sexual experiences a guy can have. Is it better than sex, you ask? It sure can be! Many men report that they enjoy getting great head even more than getting laid – especially if the romp in the hay is less than stellar. This of course explains why most guys will practically get down on their knees and beg you to get down on your knees, but why exactly does a blowjob feel so good for a man?

His Penis Is Like A Big Clitoris

While it’s true that a clitoris has more nerves packed into the tiny little bud, the penis is actually made from the same erectile tissue as a clitoris – or, if you prefer to think of it the other way, a clitoris is made from the same erectile tissue as a penis. So while a penis is technically less sensitive due to not having as many nerve endings, a man’s member is pretty much an oversized clitoris.

You know how great it feels to have a warm, wet mouth wrapped around your clitoris, massaging it to the brink of ecstasy. Now imagine that your clitoris were much bigger than it is – oral sex would feel fantastic, wouldn’t it! You would be able to feel every lick, every kiss and every flick of the tongue that much more.

So guess what? That’s what getting head is like for a guy.

Blowjobs Are Better Than Sex

While a vagina can be just as warm and just as wet as a mouth, there are a few things that a mouth has that a vagina just can’t hold a candle to. The lips and tongue create all sorts of movement and stimulation that a vagina can’t even begin to mimic and of course, the suction. A vagina can’t “suck” like a mouth can and frankly, that’s what most guys crave when they get head. The suction gives them a sensation of their orgasm being drawn out from the depths of their scrotum and when done well, can give them the most incredible climax of their life. So while having sex is great, when done the right way, a blowjob can be so much better.

He Loves The Show

Guys are visual creatures – they get off on seeing sexy things during sex. It’s just the way they’re hardwired and yes, it’s totally different from the way a woman is hardwired. Women have better sexual experiences when their imaginations are stimulated, whereas men have better sexual experiences when their visual systems are stimulated.

During sex, a man is often not looking at what is going on – unless he has a really freaky girl. He might occasionally get to bang his woman in front of a mirror or enjoy some reverse cowgirl action, but chances are, the lights are off and he’s in the missionary position, straining to see his woman’s face as he thrusts. A blowjob, however, provides quite a bit more visual stimulation for a man. Here’s why:

  • A woman typically doesn’t feel as self conscious when giving head, because she’s often not completely naked. Many girls will give a man a blowjob while fully or partially dressed, making her feel much less insecure about her body. Therefore, the lights usually get to stay on.
  • He gets to watch himself being pleasured. Yeah, it’s a thing for guys. They like to watch the action happen – especially when they’re involved. Watching a girl go to work on his head and shaft, combined with the sensations she’s creating while licking and sucking him up and down just about tops it for a guy on the sexual pleasure scale.
  • Eye contact is a huge turn on for guys when they’re getting head. They love it when a girl looks up at him and holds eye contact for a few moments while she’s got her lips wrapped around his penis. For a man, it’s the best.
  • Girls like to impress their men. A blowjob can sometimes be considered a “performance,” as much as a lap dance or a striptease would be. You can bet she’s going to make sure she looks damn sexy while she’s going down on him – upping the visual stimulation factor even more.

The Emotional Side Of It

While guys often get a bad rap for having non-existent emotions, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s just that men can’t put their emotions into words as well as a woman, nor can they really decode and understand what they’re feeling – but that doesn’t mean that a man isn’t feeling at all.

Getting great head actually plays on many of a man’s emotions, even if he doesn’t realize it. A blowjob makes him feel great, and not just because it feels great.

  • When a woman gives head, she sumbits to her man. Very few things will make a man feel “manlier” than having a woman get down on him. This is because a blowjob lends the air of submission to the experience – she’s leaning down, taking his most sensitive parts into her mouth and totally serving him sexually, concentrating only on him and his pleasure. This makes him feel like a king!
  • It gives him the sense of love and admiration for a man. While a woman may feel more like a man loves her when he fixes her car and does chores around the house, a man feels like a woman loves him when she gives him incredible sexual pleasure. When a woman goes down on a man and focuses completely on him and him alone, he derives a great sense of being loved and being admired by the woman giving him oral pleasure.

A Man Is Sexually Driven

Men get many of their physical and emotional needs met during sex, although this is not at all the same for a woman. A woman gets her physical and emotional needs met in a relationship through hugging, kissing, cuddling, talking and sharing her thoughts and feelings. Men can do all of this through sex – after an incredible sexual experience and amazing orgasm, he will feel more connected to his partner and happier in his relationship overall.

A great blowjob will make a man feel like a woman might feel after a great shopping spree in which her man showers her with compliments when she tries on outfit after outfit, a healthy gripe session over lunch where her partner listens to her concerns and validates her feelings and a romantic stroll through the park listening to her partner tell her all the reasons he loves and adores her and how grateful he is to have her in his life.

For a man, receiving a great blowjob is all of these things rolled into one simple act. He will get many of his physical and emotional needs met even in just twenty minutes of getting head, and even more so if his lover is able to make him orgasm while doing so. The better the head, the more it does for him.

So now you know just how powerful incredible oral sex is for a man and why he loves it so much.

Why Her Fake Orgasm Is YOUR Fault!

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An orgasm that is faked is your fault. There is is no wiggle room. You go at foreplay for all you’re worth and she starts making those tell-tale noises in your ear to let you know that you’re turning her on.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum.

This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. the only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. DeAngelis explains that lubricant can be affected by a number of factors – nutrition, exercise, medications, hydration, emotions and cyclical hormones – and warns,

“Don’t assume just because we’re wet that we’re ready. Our body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to us.” Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having “real” (i.e. penetrative) sex.

The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs. She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

Are We There Yet?

You hate it when the kids can’t stop asking, right? You don’t want to be the big five-year-old in your relationship, do you? It is time to get with the program.

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like orgasms. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need sex to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right? Sex is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm.

Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms during sex “often.”

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you haven’t fingered her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition.

In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had an orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen!

And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation!

Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.  Foreplay is the secret to get any woman to respond the right way.

What You NEED To Know Before You Have Sex!

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Sex tips? Who needs those? You know the basics, right? You  know exactly what you need to do to get her wet and in the mood. You go at foreplay for all you’re worth and she starts making those tell-tale noises in your ear to let you know that you’re turning her on.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum. This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. The only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. One of the best sex tips to give is don’t assume just because they are wet that they are ready. Their body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to them.

Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having sex. The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs.

She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like to have an orgasm. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right?

Intercourse is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm. Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms with their partner.

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

Here is one of the best sex tips I know. No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you aren’t fingering her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition. In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had a female orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen! And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be.

Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation! Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.

Should You Engage In After Breakup Sex?

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Sex tips are essential when you are breaking up or going through a divorce. Getting back into the groove can be problematic for everybody.

Divorce is trying on emotions and the sex life. But there’s nothing better than that first orgasm you have after a breakup. And we’re not talking about the orgasm you initiate yourself.

For most people, during the course of a divorce or during a marriage that’s not functional, their hand (or vibrator) becomes their best friend. Where do you think the acronym B.O.B. came from?

You know: battery operated boyfriend.  It came from women that were frustrated during the process of being separated and getting divorced or breaking up.

Get Over The Frustration

I understand the frustration that occurs—sexually and otherwise—during a breakup. And it’s too bad really. But there’s nothing better than after breakup sex.

It’s almost like going to a car dealer for the very, very first time and smelling that new car smell.  There’s nothing better than the new-person smell, especially after the last one was so stinky and old and had too many miles on it. I’ve been there.

I’ve been married 2.5 times, so I know all about after-divorce sex.  The anticipation, the build up—oh my god, it’s so good! I’ve got to tell you, the first time you look at another person’s eyes, you look deep into them and you think to yourself “all I want is sex.”

All I Want Is Sex

“I don’t want to talk about the kids.  I don’t want to talk about money.  I don’t’ want to talk about anything. I just want you to do me, all night long.”

It’s the best foreplay you will ever have.

The first time you sleep with a new person after ending a relationship—whether it’s divorce or just breaking-up a relationship—consider that the person is literally re-taking your virginity all over again.

Some of you have cobwebs down there; it’s been so long.  Some of you are really, really rusty. But here’s the deal—and remember this because it’s really important: the first person you sleep with after you separate is the last person you want to have a relationship with.

Don’t Make This BIG Mistake

Think about it. You are full of emotion, full of desire and infatuation.  It’s lust.

And a lot of people go into the mistake of getting involved in relationships with somebody right away, because the sex is so good, because that’s what was probably  is lacking in your relationship.  Usually when people are going through relationship issues, the sex stops.

So, of course, it’s the first thing you want to replace, because you’ve been deprived for so long.  But, it’s also the biggest trap. That trap is hot sex. The first person you sleep with after a relationship ends is the last person you want to have a relationship with.

Remember that the next time you have that lust.  You need to spend time alone after a relationship ends.  You need to go back and get some good sex, have some fun, figure out what life is all about.

Don’t Fall Into This Trap!

Don’t fall into the trap of getting with that person that wants to do you in any way, shape or form—they’re really just feeding off of your sexually energy.  Because when we get out of a marriage or relationship, we’ve got incredible sexual energy.

It’s almost like a little kid being let loose on the playground.  It’s almost like the first day of school.  It’s almost like going to the best buffet in Vegas, all you can eat.

But the problem is, you don’t want to hit a buffet every single night.  You certainly don’t want to be in school forever, and you certainly can’t be in Vegas for longer than 48 hours.

So, think about that the next time you’ve got some good after-breakup sex.  Or if you are going through a break-up right now, don’t get trapped by that great buffet.