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Anal Sex Play For Beginners – Tips & Techniques

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Anal sex is very erotic for many people, both men and women. There are many nerve endings in the rectum, particularly around the opening of the anus, that a lot of people find pleasurable when stimulated. Men often love the super tightness of a woman’s anus. Anal play – whether you’re having anal sex or using a toy or your fingers – can be intensely intimate.  The taboo of enjoying a so-called ‘prohibited’ activity with your partner can be super exciting and just what you need to turn up the heat in your sex life! There are, however, a few guidelines that should be followed for anal sex to make both you and your partner safe and comfortable!

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Don’t Skimp On The Lube

The anus does not naturally lubricate itself at all, therefore, it is an absolute must to use a good water based or silicone based lubricant during anal sex. While you don’t want to use silicone based lube in the vagina because it’s difficult to clean out, silicone lube will get flushed out with everything else when you go to the bathroom so feel free to use it for anal sex. Don’t ever attempt to have anal sex without lube, because you could easily tear something on the outside or even the inside, which would require a not so fun trip to the hospital. Also, do not use numbing or desensitizing lubricant, because if it hurts, you need to feel it and you need to stop! Just use lots and lots of regular water or silicone based lube for any kind of anal play.

Learn To Relax!

If you’re not able to relax when you have anal sex, you’re going to find it very uncomfortable or painful. Practice relaxing your anus around a small anal sex toy or a finger and work your way up to the bigger stuff. You certainly can’t expect yourself to accomodate a large sex toy or penis if you’ve never tried anal sex before, but if you learn to relax during anal play, you’ll gradually get to where you can take more and enjoy more.

Keep Things Clean

Since going through the backdoor will potentially (probably) get you at least a little dirty, it’s very important to keep things clean. Clean any and all sex toys used for anal play with hot, soapy water or special sex toy cleaner and wear a condom when inserting the penis into the anus. Wearing a condom during anal sex will allow you to slip it off and go straight to vaginal sex without worrying about bacteria spreading. If you don’t want to wear a condom during anal sex, you will need to wash your penis thoroughly with warm, soapy water. Neglecting to keep things clean during sex will increase the risk of spreading bacteria and giving your partner an infection.

Warm Up And Get Turned On First

Just like with sex, if you want to have good anal sex, it’s important to have a little foreplay first and get turned on before you start. Giving yourself a warm up period will help you relax and help get you turned on so that you’re more ready for anal play. If you’re not turned on before you receive anal sex, you’re anus is going to be clamped tight and you’ll find that anal play is going to be more uncomfortable and painful than if you allow yourself a good warm up period first. Try having your partner give you oral sex first and even a rim job if you both like it.

Go Slowly And Be Gentle

Anal sex is not the time to be rough or practice BDSM. Since the anus is basically made for things to come out of, you have to be very careful when putting things in there. Go slowly and be very careful not to be too rough, even if you’re extremely turned on by having anal sex. Communicate with your partner about whether it feels good or it hurts too much, and if it hurts make sure you stop right away. Have a safe word that your partner can use to let you know that she wants it to stop immediately, such as “banana” or another non-sex word. Remember that your first time having anal sex doesn’t have to last very long or be perfect. There’s always another time! The important thing is to make sure your partner is comfortable and having a good time too.

Safe Anal Sex Toys

If you’re going to use anal sex toys, it’s important that you purchase toys that are specifically made for anal sex. Many sex toys that are for vaginal use or even homemade sex toys can get lost in your anus because there is no “end” like with a vagina. Getting a sex toy lost in your anus is not only extremely painful and dangerous, it is also very embarassing because it will require a doctor and most likely surgery to remove it. Instead, choose anal sex toys that have a wide, flared base or ring on the bottom that keeps the toy from sliding too far into the anus.

Best Sex Positions For Anal Sex

While almost any sex position can be used for anal sex, there are some sex positions that are better for anal sex because they allow for easier access. The missionary position with the girl on bottom and her legs lifted high allows for great access to the anus, as does the doggy style position. You can also try the reverse cowgirl position where the woman is on top but facing her partner’s feet, or you can try spooning with your partner behind you. The sex postion doesn’t matter as much as long as you and your partner are both comfortable and having fun!

Turning Her On – How To Get Your Girlfriend In The Mood

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Getting a woman in the mood is not as difficult as you may think. But we have to admit, it gets harder and harder to create the right mood for some frisky lovemaking when you’ve been with a woman for a while. Unlike that time when you just started dating, the intervals between the days she wants sex get longer and longer.

I have no doubt that you know exactly what I’m talking about. Sometimes her rejection of your advances has a lot to do with the girl’s approachability. But more often than not, it’s the fact that you’ve run out of ideas on how to turn her on. You figure she has seen and heard everything that you have to offer, and that flirting with her will seem like you’re just reprising the role of the horny boyfriend who wants to jump her all the time.

If you can’t help but to overdo the physical side of your relationship, here are some ways to make sure you don’t leave the emotional aspect alone. A woman gets turned on based on what she’s feeling, whether or not you’re touching her.

Romance Her

Much to the dismay of women, some guys don’t know (or have forgotten) how to romance a woman into bed. Don’t get me wrong. Most women love sex, and they’d go all out when the sex is good. However, women need a different set of stimuli to get it going. We can do with a good cleavage view, or simply the thought that we can get laid, but women need more than that. They want to feel like they’re being wooed rather than being used as objects.

During foreplay, you have all the opportunity to make a woman express her needs to you. Tune in to her mood and go from there. If she’s tired, start slowly. If she’s angsty or even angry, you can rough her up a bit in a sexy way.

Make Her Feel Sexy

Women go into power trips several times during sex, but we often don’t notice these moments because we’re wrapped up in our own fantasies and sexual thoughts. If you want to open the doors to friskier sex, you’d better pay attention when a woman tries to impose her own brand of power while you’re doing it.

For example, here’s how you can make her do oral sex on you longer. While she’s down there, tell her how sexy she looks and that you love it when she does that to you. You can tell her to keep going, but make sure you shower her with a lot of compliments to get her in the mood. If you do this right, you’re going to get something more than the 30-second, obligatory sucking.

Show Her You Want Her

Showing a woman you’re in the mood can be done in more ways than one. Don’t go for the cliches like flowers and jewelry. Although a bath and an erotic massage are great, getting her to that point needs some doing. What you can do is to pursue her like you’re just going out. Show up at her workplace and ask her out on a date, or ask her to go with you somewhere for a couple of drinks. Think of it like you’re hitting on her again, and you’ll set the mood for some frisky lovemaking easily.

How To Turn A Girl On Sexually

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Men who are just starting their dating life, and even those who have been in a long term relationship for years, sometimes fall into the trap we call a sex rut. It’s not that you’re not in the mood to make love. The problem is that the woman you’re with is somewhat lackluster in her response to your lovemaking.

So, what gives? Are you incompatible sexually or is there something lacking in your technique? Sometimes it’s a combination of incompatibility and inability to push her sexual buttons. Most of the time, men just ignore the problem, until it gets too big to handle and the sexual frustration starts to affect the relationship.

Instead of wishing that you were still in that stage when your relationship was sizzling and you’ve just hooked up, find out how to please your woman in bed so that she will never think of leaving you.

Daytime Foreplay

With the way our lifestyles are nowadays, it’s no wonder that some couples feel the romance is dying as soon as the routine of daily life sets in. You have to figure out how to find the time to romance each other enough to keep the flame burning. The solution is to romance each other during the daytime so that the sexual tension builds and carries over to when it’s time for bed.

For instance, give her a lingering kiss when you meet for lunch or caress her waist as you’re walking out of the house and into your car. Softly whisper that you’re looking forward to later. Whatever you can do to arouse her feelings of sexuality during the day, do it.

Tell Her You’re Going Down On Her

Some women assume that guys aren’t enthusiastic about giving a girl oral sex. You may even think about it now and discover that you can only do it for a while (because she might not go down on you if you don’t). If you tell her that “you’re hungry for her taste” or that you’re craving the sweetness of her womanhood, you can arouse her to a point of frenzy. What happens is that her imagination will do the work for you, and that’s a good thing. Make sure you tell her this when she least expects it, for best results.

Intimate Touching

Expressing your feelings through lovemaking is more than just sticking it in and going for it until you are done. If you think about it, people don’t need much to get aroused, while women will always need more. Don’t hesitate to touch your wife or girlfriend everywhere when you’re alone. Don’t rush when you’re exploring with your hands, so that she won’t feel like you’re just doing it because you want your gratification sooner.

Sex is the best way to replenish your love during a busy week. It doesn’t have to be monotonous and you can add as much romance to it as you want.

Why Anal Sex Can Hurt

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Anal sex is not just about penetration of the anus. It encompasses other activities like analingus (licking of the anal region) or fingering the anal hole of your partner. But admittedly, when we say “anal sex” the first thing that comes to mind is penetration.

Do heterosexual couples engage in anal sex? Yes, absolutely. It may surprise some people but there are many straight couples that love anal sex. First of all, anal sex is a popular taboo and the thrill of doing something that’s not supposed to be done adds to the excitement of trying it out. Couples who have tried it often feel a lot closer afterwards.

Trust level is an important factor to consider if you are thinking of trying anal sex. I will not lie to you; the first time you do it, it will hurt. Even after you have been doing it for a while, there is still a certain amount of physical discomfort.

Here are some reasons why anal sex can hurt, and why you need to stock up on lube if you want to try it.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Aren’t Expecting It

There is such a thing as a “surprise anal” sex move, but this is so emotionally damaging that I do not recommend it. A man should always ask you nicely if he wants to put it in your ass. At the very least, he should give you the chance to prepare yourself. If a guy dares pull off this stunt, the shock combined with the sense of betrayal that you feel can contribute to the overwhelming physical pain.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Being Forced To Try It

Even if your boyfriend or husband asks for permission, if you really don’t want to try it, it will hurt. You have to be completely relaxed to enjoy anal sex. Moreover, you have to trust your partner enough to believe that he will stop when you ask him to. The muscle outside the rectum tightens when stimulated, and it will tighten even more when you’re tense or scared. Forcing entry when this muscle is too tight to allow entry can contribute to the hurt.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Not Lubricated Enough

Relaxing will help ease the initial pain of anal sex, but no amount of relaxation will ease the discomfort if the sphincter muscle isn’t lubricated enough. Spread some lube on your partner’s member or your anal sex toy and a huge dollop on your anal region to make anal sex more pleasurable.

If you’re intent on going for it, ask your partner to gradually loosen the sphincter muscle with gentle stimulation and fondling. He must never touch your sphincter without applying lubricant first. Also, remember to wash well after anal sex.

One major appeal of anal sex for me is the fact that it can be your dirty little secret. It’s extremely exciting to know that you’re both acting like a prim-and-proper, lovey-dovey couple in public, while you’re doing something “taboo” in private.

How To Turn Her On And Off

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Intimacy starts when you and your girl start to act sexual towards each other. It means sexual tension is there and you are both thinking of sex. Perhaps you have started kissing, touching hands and even petting during your dates, even when you are in a public place. You know it’s “on” when you begin exchanging sexual innuendo whenever you talk on the phone or in person.

Sexual tension is present when a girl is turned on, but some guys who stumble upon that particular switch inside a girl’s brain can never seem to figure out how to do it again. Keep reading to find out how to turn a girl on, and the things that you should avoid if you don’t want to turn her off.

Be Spontaneous But Mind Your Timing

When you’re on your date with a woman, there are so many chances to get intimate, but the crucial thing here is timing. Caressing her hand during a romantic movie makes a woman feel warm and turned on, while touching her breasts when you’re watching horror is definitely off. Recognize the best timing for overtly sexual moves, and be extremely aware of her reactions.

For instance, if she stiffens and acts cold, then she’s probably not comfortable with your public display of affection. A lot depends on how uninhibited the girl is, and her views on making out in public. Wait until you’re in a relatively deserted place before you think about grabbing her. Spontaneity is sexy, but only if the timing is good.

The Goodbye Kiss

The end of the date is very crucial. It gives you and the girl an idea of your future as a couple, and as lovers. The best thing that could happen is that the girl invites you in for a nightcap. The worst that could happen is she goes inside without looking back with a cold “goodnight.”

What goes wrong during this phase that causes a girl to lose interest? Well, a lot of things. Let’s start with the goodbye kiss. If your kiss is too safe, like it’s a peck that conveys disinterest, there’s really no reason why the girl will invite you in.

If the kiss is too passionate, like when you shove your tongue down her throat, she will think that you couldn’t wait to get to the sex. Kiss her gently, without hesitating. And, make sure you kiss her in a way that leaves her breathless with anticipation.

The key is to make the girl feel comfortable during your date so that she’s thinking about getting it on with you by the time you get to her doorstep. Failure to turn your date into the beginning of an intimate relationship happens when only one partner is willing to go for it. Push a girl’s buttons right and you can turn her on. Making her feel uncomfortable and freaked out during your date will turn her off.