Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for foreplay

Q&A: More Anal Sex… How To Clean Up Afterward

By

It’s a fact – anal sex can get messy. Whether you ejaculate in the anus during anal sex or not, you’ll still want to clean up afterward. Preventing the spread of bacteria and keeping yourself comfortably clean are important after anal sex. Here’s how you can clean up afterward so you can have fun before!

Question: I know you suggest using condoms for anal sex, and my girlfriend and I take every precaution when we do it. Sometimes we use condoms, but sometimes we don’t. I want to know about ejaculating in her through anal sex.
What are your takes on it? I want to know mainly because while in the heat of the moment things happen. In case it does happen, what are the best ways to go about cleaning up afterward?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eUy80K3iTQ[/youtube]

Is Semen In The Anus Safe?

If you ejaculate in your partner’s anus during anal sex, you may wonder if it’s safe. As far as pregnancy goes, you can’t impregnante a woman through anal sex so you’re safe there. But having unprotected anal sex at all – ejaculation or no ejaculation – puts you at risk for contracting or spreading sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Anal sex is a bit more risky when it comes to STD’s than traditional vaginal sex because the risk of exposure to blood and other bodily fluids is much higher. Having anal sex with a condom – even with a monogomous partner – is a great way to keep yourself safe from sexually transmitted diseases and infections as well as keep ejaculate from entering the anal cavity during orgasm.

Ejaculating During Anal Sex

When ejaculate enters the anus during anal sex, it leaves the anus the same way it leaves the vagina during vaginal sex – it comes out the same way it comes in. With vaginal sex, however, semen comes out much more quickly and can be cleaned up more easily than with anal sex. Ejaculate doesn’t always come out of the anal cavity right away, and it may come out at inopportune times. Usually, it comes out when you have a bowel movement but can leak out at other times as well. To clean the anal cavity of ejaculate after anal sex, you can pick up an enema kit at your local drugstore to wash the anus clean of semen. Enemas are also an excellent way to get clean before having anal sex, keeping the anal cavity free of fecal matter during sex. If you or your partner prefer to keep semen out of the anal cavity during sex, remember that using a condom is a great way to do that.

Cleaning Up Afterwards

Since anal sex can help spread bacteria that can make you and your partner sick, cleaning up properly afterwards is very important. Clean any anal sex toys used with warm soap and water, or use a special toy cleaner. Wash your hands and your penis thoroughly and have your partner wash her bottom with soap and water as well. Better yet, enjoy a steamy shower with your partner and make cleaning up after anal sex as erotic and pleasurable as anal sex is for you!

Q&A: How Many Sex Foreplay Options Can We List In 30 Seconds?

By

Foreplay, for many couples, is the cornerstone of their sexual experiences. However, many couples just don’t engage in enough foreplay! For most of them, a lack of good, fresh ideas is what keeps them from really exploring foreplay with their partner. What are some new foreplay ideas that you can share with your partner?

Foreplay (Wikipedia) – is a set of intimate psychological and physical acts between two or more people meant to create and increase sexual arousal, in anticipation of sexual intercourse.

Can be anything from flirting to playful teasing, to physical stimulation and beyond.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qT0fL11tgM[/youtube]

Physical Stimulation

Many foreplay options include physical stimulation. This is the most direct route to get your partner turned on before sexual intercourse. Touching your partner all over their body, especially in their erogenous zones, can heat things up in the bedroom pretty quickly. Physical stimulation during foreplay can include anything and everything from oral sex, kissing, genital massage and much, much more. Sometimes, just physical stimulation isn’t enough when it comes to foreplay. Oral sex and hand jobs can only go so far time and time again. Although these things are pleasurable, our bodies and minds desire something fresh and new in the bedroom every once in awhile. Get creative with sex toys and come up with new ways to turn each other on physically before sexual intercourse.

Psychological Stimulation

A big part of foreplay, especially for women, is the psychological factor. A person’s mindset plays an important role in the quality of sex, and for many people, being sufficiently turned on mentally is a huge prerequisite for great sex. You can have psychological or mental foreplay with your partner all day if you want. Send sexy text messages to each other, make a naughy phone call or simply give your partner those bedroom eyes to let them know you are turned on and you want it at the soonest possible moment. You can turn your partner on this way well before you even get to the bedroom! One great way to turn your partner on psychologically is to watch pornography with them, or read a steamy novel or erotic book together. All you have to do is use your imagination a little bit and you can come up with dozens of ways to turn your partner on without laying a finger on them.

Making Foreplay A Bigger Part Of Your Sexual Routine

No sex life that doesn’t incorporate at least some degree of foreplay is a good one. While quickies are certainly satisfying sometimes, nothing can take the place of some good old fashioned creative foreplay in the bedroom. Both men and women enjoy foreplay and most of them report wanting more of it – so why isn’t everyone doing it? Foreplay takes time and these days, we’re lucky to have a few moments to ourselves to use the restroom in between work and kids. So foreplay often gets crossed off the list of “Things We Wish We Had More Time For.” Here’s the thing – you’re going to need to make time for more foreplay. The quality of sex with your partner will greatly improve because of it!

Female Orgasm Tip #4 – Patience And Persistence

By

When it comes to giving a woman a great orgasm, one of the greatest tips you can employ is actually not a “technique” at all  – it’s more of an overall attitude. During sex, it’s important to embody both patience and persistence to give your girl the orgasm the really wants – and it’s just as important for the girls to embody these qualities as well! Read on to find out why!

There’s nothing more giving than a satisfied woman.” While a bit cheesy, this quote really does say it all. Watch this video to find out why a little patience and persistence can go a really long way!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMiifdFrmh8[/youtube]

Warming Up The Oven

You might have heard a woman’s sex drive compared to an oven before, but for a very important reason. Women are exactly like ovens in the bedroom – they definitely require to preheating, or being warmed up first. This is where you’ll be tested for the first time on patience and persistence! If you’re going down on your partner, or massaging her vagina and clitoris, she’s not going to get turned on within two secons of you putting your mouth or hands down there.

You need to be patient, and allow her time to get used to the feelings you’re creating for her and warm up to them. Women can practically smell impatience, and it will turn her off immediately, making your job just that much harder, if not impossible. So exercise patience! You’ll also want to exercise persistence – it may take a few minutes to either bring her to orgasm or even to just get her reasonably turned on, so it’s important to be persistent with the maneuvers you’re making. Of course, if something’s not working, find another technique to use, but once you hit the right spot with the right technique, keep going and keep going!

Ladies Need Practice Too

Of course, practice makes perfect. Guys, you can practice your patience and persistence in the bedroom with your partner anytime you’re feeling frisky to really get yourself under control so you can give your partner the best pleasure possible. But it’s not all up to you! It’s important that women also use patience and persistence when you’re “warming up their oven.”

First of all, a woman needs to be patient with herself. She is not expected to have an orgasm in thirty seconds! Be patient and quit focusing on trying to be turned on or trying to have an orgasm. Simply be patient and let the feelings come to you. Women also need to be persistent – if something doesn’t feel right or could feel better, don’t throw up your hands in frustration and suggest a quickie instead. Be persistent in communicating with your partner what you like and what you don’t like, so he can better satisfy you.

Think you understand Female Orgasms? Take the Orgasm Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

Foreplay 101 for HIM

By

When it comes to foreplay, most articles out there are on foreplay tips for the benefit of women. However, you should know that if you treat your boyfriend/husband/lover to some great foreplay tricks of your own, you’ll be a sex goddess in his eyes because his orgasm will be extremely more powerful than before!

So, the next time you guys have sex, don’t be one of the women out there who ‘nag’ they don’t get enough foreplay. Instead, surprise him with pre-play moves that will make him treat you like a sex queen.

Foreplay Tip #1: Peak-a-Boo

Men are such visual creatures. Show them a nude photo, and blood gushes to their member. Hmmm, so what about presenting him with not just a nude photo of yourself but simply you, 100% nude.

How best to do it: Let us count the ways… try any of the tips below.

  • Just as he’s nice and comfy in bed, walk into the room in your birthday suit. (By the way, make sure your nipples are erect when you do this. Instant hard on!)
  • While fooling around in bed, straddle him and then slowly but surely, take off pieces of your clothing. You can torture him further by say, removing your bra, giving a glimpse of your nipples and then covering yourself up again. Agony!
  • Give him something to REALLY look at. Why settle for WALKING around naked when you can bend, twist, and turn yourself in various ways that he won’t believe what he’s seeing even if you’re right in front of him.

For the last tip be sure he gets to see everything but won’t be able to touch. Feed his eyes and maybe even his sense of smell… but don’t let him touch you. At least, not until he begs for it.

Foreplay Tip #2: Breathe On It

I bet you didn’t know how sexy and arousing your very own steamy breath on his exposed skin can be. The reason behind this is that your warm breathe will cause a temperature change on his skin, which in turn increases sexual arousal.

How best to do it: Engage in foreplay. When he’s already warm and aroused, go down and position your slightly parted lips to a sensitive area of his body such as his inner thighs, belly button, or the side of his neck, and then exhale your warm breathe on that spot.

You can also try the link-and-breathe approach. For example, lick the side of his neck and then exhale lightly on it. (Personally, my boyfriend loves it when I lick his lips and then exhale on it.) Another thing to try this trick on: lick his nipples and blow on it!

Now, go down and with his erect manhood standing mighty proud in front of your face, blow a steady jet of warm breath on his penis from top to bottom. Mind-blowing!

Foreplay Tip #3: Hustle!

Ok, so by now you know that both men and women will benefit greatly with a lot of foreplay. However, there is a difference; while women tend to go for slow seduction foreplay techniques; men tend to want more vigorous pre-play sessions.

I guess this is because most men tend to look at women as the ‘shy’ or ‘less animalistic’ one in bed. As such, if you unleash a more ‘raw’ you in bed, your man will be turned on all the more by this new, slightly more sexually aggressive you. You see, men take female aggressiveness in bed as assign of pure lust, which further fuels their desire. Besides, it’s A LOT of fun to be the one in control in bed every now and then, right?

How best to do it: Tonight, don’t be the timid one. Be the one to approach him and initiate sex. Be the one to kiss him roughly. And last, but definitely not the least, be the one to command what sex positions you guys should engage in.

For example, if he’s angling to go down on you, change sex positions and go down on him instead! OR maneuver in bed in such a way that he doesn’t go down on you but you sit on his face instead. Further, if he’s angling for the missionary, go ahead and beat him to it by going woman-on-top. And don’t just do the usual woman-on-top (where you face him), do reverse cow-girl where you face his feet.

I guarantee he won’t know what hit him in bed… but he’ll like it!

Foreplay Tip # 4: Tantalizing Touch

True, all men desire to have your lovely hands on their members but your lover can also receive a few other types of touches not just down there but all over his body. You see, men require a lot of hands-on stimulation and it should not necessarily all be focused on his penis.

How best to do it: Tonight, mix up your touchy feely moves. Flatten your palms and grope him all over. The warmth of your palms should make him feel warm all over too. Feel free to grab him too. For instance, run your palms all over his chest, reach down, reach back, and then grab a handful of his buttocks!

When he’s already undressed, run your palms slightly roughly across his chest and then very gently caress his erect nipples with your flat palms. The rough and then gentle approach will surely drive him wild!

You can also opt to need his back with long hand strokes or graze his sides gently with your fingernails. Mix up the sensations and he’ll be sexually dazzled he won’t know what to expect.

Foreplay Tip # 5: Push Him to the Brink

Nothing can be more sexually mind-blowing than ALMOST reaching a climax, ebbing, and then being brought up to that ‘almost there’ high again. Yes, tease your man tonight until he literally begs you for release.

How best to do it: Show him how romantic you are by drawing an imaginary heart shape over his groin with your lips! Trace the outline of his groin slowly by planting kisses and/or using your tongue. This will make him focus and pay sole attention to his groin. Now, perform fellatio. Just when you sense he’s nearing his release… let go of his member and go back to your lazy heart shape drawing again!

To up the ante, ride him for all you’re worth. And just when he – or you! – are about to come, let go and engage in some hot, passionate kissing. Then go back up on that horse again for the next round!

For Added Pre-Play Pleasure, Try These Toys

Following is a list of unusual sexual stimulants that you may want to try too to add more fun to your foreplay.

Snapshots. Let him play with is camera and snap a picture of you… naked… while on top of him.

Wigs. Walk into the bedroom with nothing on but a completely different wig. He’ll think you’re somebody else… and you get to be somebody else in bed too.

Stockings. Bondage sounds such a harsh word. Tonight, wear a sheer body suit and as he peels it off your body, whisper something like “honey, why don’t you tie my hands and show me who’s my daddy?”.

RED, very red lipstick. I know what you’re thinking, draw lazy circles and cute heart shapes all over his body, right? You can do that… OR write down dirty words all over his body. I bet your man prefers the latter!

What Does Abstinence Mean To You?

By

If you’ve heard about sex ed, you’ve likely heard about abstinence. What is abstinence, anyway? Basically, it’s just a fancy word for not having sex. Believe it or not though, abstinence may not be as black and white as you think. Abstinence means different things to different people. What does abstinence mean to you?

We can all generally accept the idea that sexual abstinence means waiting for marriage to have sex… But here’s where it gets tricky – What does “Sex” mean to you? Is it sexual intercourse? Is it any sexually arousing experience? Is it oral sex? Anal Sex? Masturbation?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWIhR9Z3gx0[/youtube]

The Definition Of Abstinence

Abstinence, in it’s most basic form, is to abstain, or keep from, doing something. Most people refer to it as refraining from having sex, but you can also abstain from alcohol, cigarettes, or anything really. In it’s most popular form, however, the definition of abstinence means to keep from having sex. In most cultures, the term abstinence refers to waiting until marriage to have sex, however, any couple can practice abstinence even if they’re married. Some married couples practice abstinence at a certain time during a woman’s monthly cycle as a form of birth control. In this article though, we’re going to explore how abstinence can mean different things to different people.

Defining Sex

To define not having sex, first you have to define the term sex itself. What does having “sex” mean to you? Does having sex mean only penetration, therefore abstinence from sex means oral sex doesn’t fall into that category? Or does having sex mean every type of sex, including oral sex, anal sex, masturbation and vaginal intercourse? Does your definition of abstinence relate to being a virgin? Is virginity still intact only if you abstain from vaginal intercourse, or is virginity intact if one abstains from the use of sex toys, or even tampons as well?

It Remains Undefined

The definition of sex, much like the definition of abstinence, remains essentially undefined. It means something different for everyone, and only you can decide what counts as sex and what counts as abstinence – no one else can or should decide for you. Abstinence, just like having sex, is a personal choice. Examine your own beliefs and morals, and do what feels right for you. Don’t let parents, a culture, society or your friends or family members pressure you into deciding to have sex or deciding to be abstinent – or even deciding what actions constitute sex and abstinence unless you’re sure that it’s what you want. It’s also not a one way street – just because you choose to be abstinent now doesn’t mean you can’t choose to have sex later if that’s what you decide. Similarly, if you decide to have sex now, that doesn’t mean you can’t decide to become abstinent later. While you may have lost your virginity in doing so, don’t assume that means you have to continue having sex if you’re not comfortable with it. Do what feels right to you!

Know Your Boundaries First

Before making your decision, know your boundaries. Think of the possible situations you might be in, and what you might decide if confronted with that situation. Really think about it – if you’re abstinent, does oral sex count? Does giving a handjob count? Do you want to be totally abstinent from every type of sex? Don’t be caught off guard – know what you want and what doesn’t coincide with your decision before you put yourself in a situation that might possibly make you uncomfortable if you aren’t prepared. Don’t forget sex education – learn about STD’s, pregnancy and birth control even if you’re being abstinent. You’ll be able to make smarter choices when you do decide to have sex. Ultimately, you’re responsible for your own sex education. You’re responsible for your body, right?