Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for have better sex

Orgasm Dilemma – What To Do If You Can’t Have One & Your Guy Gave Up

By

An orgasm isn’t always easy for a man to give, and he can quickly get discouraged if he can’t find a “formula” to get you over the top in what he views as a reasonable period of time. But should you just forget about ever reaching orgasm during sex at all? And is it really only up to him to learn how to give you pleasure?

A Woman’s Orgasm

It’s not easy to make a woman orgasm, and unfortunately, many guys give up before they’ve ever learned how to make their partner climax. A woman requires a clear mind, a relaxed body, emotional immersion and the right physical stimulation to get over the top. Finding the right combination of these things (which could differ on any given day depending on the woman’s mood) can be daunting at best. Don’t put all the blame on your guy though – having an orgasm starts with YOU.

Start Masturbating

How can you expect your guy to learn what pleases you if you don’t even know? How can he learn how to bring you to an orgasm if you can’t even do it yourself? You know what gets you relaxed. When you touch down there, you know immediately if it feels good or if it doesn’t. Face it – he can’t tell what you like or don’t like unless YOU show him or tell him! It’s not like as soon as he touches you or licks you he knows whether that stroke worked or not.

Don’t turn your nose up at “clicking your own mouse” – there’s nothing wrong with female masturbation and it’s one of the only paths to supreme sexual bliss for a woman (that is, unless you’re with a total Casanova but even then, all women are different and he may not know how to please YOU). After masturbating a few times, you’re going to learn that you like it this way but not that way. You’ll figure out that you can reach orgasm faster if you do it like this, not like that. You’ll come away with a better understanding of your body and your sexuality, plus lots of new ways to play.

So grab a vibrator, use your fingers or whatever else you want and indulge in a explorative solo session. Do what feels good. Remember what it is. Do it again. Repeat.

Teach Your Man

When you find out what works, let your guy know. Don’t expect him to find out all on his own, that’s just cruel. He can’t – you don’t have a magic indicator that lets him know when he’s getting warmer or if he’s doing things the right way. If you prefer circles on your clitoris as opposed to an up and down motion, by all means tell the guy! He’ll appreciate it so much more than if you let him stumble around in the dark and get upset when he doesn’t do the right thing.

A lot of girls are too quiet during sex. They fail to let their man know what feels good during sex, so he never really knows. Many girls don’t make a peep, or much noise at all whether it feels incredible or whether it hurts like hell. So a guy will try and try and try, but will soon give up because he doesn’t feel like he’s getting anywhere. If this describes you, take a long look in the mirror if you want someone to blame for not getting off during sex. You cannot expect your guy to get it right if you don’t give him any feedback. Period.

How To Let Him Know What You Like

Dirty talk is an excellent way to not only let your lover know what really gets you going, but also to spice things up and add variety to your sex life. Dirty talk in and of itself can get you more turned on and closer to orgasm than ever before, not to mention its added use for communication of likes and dislikes.

Next time he makes a move that feels better than the rest, say “Oh yeah, just like that.” If he’s in the wrong place and suddenly moves to the right one, shout “Yes! Right there!” Don’t be afraid to get into it, he’ll think it’s hot. You can even use dirty talk to get really naughty if you want to. Tell him, “I want you to ____ my ____ right now until I ____ all over you!” Ad lib as necessary. After the initial shock and disbelief that these things are coming out of your mouth, you’ll love voicing what you want until you’re coming.

Overcoming Shyness

If you’re too shy to tell him outright what you want either during a normal dinner conversation (yes, it’s perfectly appropriate to say “Hey honey, I’d like to try ___ tonight” over braised chicken) or during sex, then you might think you’re out of luck and will never be able to communicate your desires to your lover. Wrong! You can, without using any words at all!

Just make more noise when he does the right thing. Body language is also a big indicator that he’s on the right track too. Gasp, moan, shout his name, buck your hips – do anything to let him know that you really LOVE what he’s doing. If he never gets this feedback from you, he’ll assume that every single thing he does is wrong – and then give up.

He may change his moves around and try to do something different, but he’ll figure out what you enjoy the most pretty quickly when you stop moaning when he does the wrong thing. That’s right – if he starts getting off course, you’re not going to be as vocal. He will automatically take that as a cue that he needs to go back to what he was doing before, when you were moaning, screaming and bucking wildly.

The icing on the cake? He’ll actually do what you want – meaning, you might actually get off.

5 Sex Positions You Have Never Tried

By

Sex positions can be a lot of fun when you mix it up and keep things new. Boring sex with the missionary position constantly being implemented can make any bedroom experience go stale. Using new and infrequently used sex positions can bring new sensations and new intimacy into your relationship.

While some of these are going to be a little wild, you can pick and choose what you feel comfortable with. Here are five new sex positions that you can try out with your partner tonight.

1. Inverted 69

The inverted 69 is a lot like the original 69, however it has the guy on top. While there will be a lot of women that do not feel comfortable with this, this is one of the best ones for the man and the woman. When the guy’s on top, it puts his penis at a different angle than in the traditional 69 position. This also gives him an upside down angle to perform oral sex on his partner.

This is much different than using the traditional 69 as he will be licking down on your vagina, instead of going up. The reason that so many women will not feel comfortable with this position is that the guy has more control over putting his penis into your mouth. This position is more for the guy than it is for the girl, however, having him go down on you from this inverted angle can also be pleasurable.

2. The Acrobat

The Acrobat is one of the best sex positions for giving the guy new angle for his penis and for allowing digital stimulation to the woman’s clitoris. The position is fairly basic. The guy lays on his back with the girl on top as if she is going to do reverse cowgirl. The girl then leans all the way back so that her back is rested on the guy’s chest.

The guy reaches around with his hands and then puts them on her inner thigh or on her vagina. This allows the guy to play with the woman’s clitoris or breasts. The guy can also massage the girl’s inner thigh while still thrusting into her. Be sure that you are doing this position on the bed and not on the floor as your knees might get tired or irritated by surfaces that are not soft enough.

3. The Dancer

The dancer is a sex position that can easily be performed in the shower or in tight spaces. If you are going to be performing this sex position it is recommended that you and your partner be of the same height or within about an inch or two. Have your guy stand straight up and then walk up to him. Lift one leg up and have him support it with his hand while you wrap your hands around his waist.

You should be stable enough to keep balanced. Guide his penis into you and hold each other as you both thrust equally. His penis should be going into you at an angle that easily hits the G-spot and goes deeper than the normal missionary position. Have him pick you up a little bit so that he has more control over thrusting into your vagina.

4. The 68

The 68 is a sex position that is specifically designed for the woman. This position is very easily achieved, however, your partner must be comfortable in order to enjoy it. The basic position is very similar to having your guy give you oral sex while you are on top of him. Get on top of him so that your vagina is right over his mouth and then lean back so that your body is resting on his body.

Have him put a pillow behind his neck so that he is propped up and can give you oral sex. You should be leaning back enough so that you are relaxed while he is performing on you. This sex position gets its name because only one of you will be receiving oral sex.

5. The Amazon

The Amazon is one of the more wild sex positions that you can do. This position is specifically designed to give the guy a deeper angle with his penis. Have your husband or boyfriend lie down on his back and lift his knees up. Now you are going to go between his knees and have his legs rest on your thighs. Guide his penis inside your vagina and start riding him as if you were doing regular girl on top.

You should feel his penis deeper inside you and this angle will feel great for him. One of the best things about this sex position is the fact that you do not have to actually ride up and down you can simply rock back and forth and he will massage your G-spot.

Are These 4 Things RUINING Your Orgasm?

By

An orgasm is the icing on the cake when it comes to sex, but many girls can’t get there. It’s not always easy to reach orgasm, especially if your guy doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing down there. But men aren’t the only culprits here – there are plenty of other factors that contribute to a woman losing out on reaching orgasm during sex. Are these three issues to blame for you not reaching climax?

1. Obsessing Over The Way Your Body Looks

Almost all girls obsess over the way their bodies look, especially naked. This is generally due to social conditioning – from the time a girl is a child, well into her adult years, she is conditioned that “beautiful” is being thin, tan, having perfectly straight and white teeth and wearing sexy clothes. Cellulite is a “no-no” for women, even though it’s a completely natural and normal thing to have.

If you’re thinking about looking “fat” or unattractive to your partner during sex, you’re most likely not going to be able to have an orgasm. Your brain is linked to your body in this way, and if you’re busy obsessing over finding the angle that you look the best in during sex (rather than the angle that feels the best), then you’re going to become frustrated when you can’t reach the peak.

2. Thinking About Your To-Do List

Again, a woman’s brain plays a very significant part in her arousal and ability to reach orgasm during sex. A woman must be completely and totally relaxed and be in the moment to be able to get over the “hump,” so to speak, and she simply can’t do that if she’s focused on other things. If you’re thinking about what you need to get at the grocery store instead of being in the moment with your partner and allowing yourself to be overcome with passion, then you’re not likely to even get close to orgasm city.

Spending a few minutes before sex relaxing and letting the stress of the day melt away is really worth it – and so is engaging in plenty of foreplay. Do something that you know totally relaxes you – like watching your favorite television show while drinking a glass of wine, or taking a warm bubble bath and meditating on positive things. Do whatever it is that you need to do to allow your brain to switch from thinking about all of your responsibilities to thinking about only pleasure.

When you’re in the right mind frame, sexual pleasure and orgasm will come much, much more easily.

3. Wondering Why You’re Taking Forever To Reach Orgasm

This is one of the biggest orgasm killers of all. You get going and it’s going pretty good, and then you start thinking about time. And how long you’re taking. And the longer you take, the more obsessed you get over how long you’re taking. It’s a vicious cycle that gets you nowhere close to climax.

If the sex is good, you’re going to forget about time all together. It could take you ten seconds, ten minutes or an hour to reach orgasm and you’d have no earthly idea. In fact, you may even forget where you are. If you are prone to thinking about how long it takes you to reach the big O, plan for you and your partner to have plenty of time to have sex. Instead of wondering when you’ll actually get there, focus on each sensation and how it feels in the moment.

4. Not Using Enough Lube

Some couples don’t think they need lube during sex. They may think it’s wet enough once they get turned on, or they think that saliva works just as well. This couldn’t be further from the truth! If you have trouble getting to orgasm often, consider investing in an inexpensive bottle of good quality lube. You can get all different kinds at supermarkets and drugstores, and you can even find some in specialty or novelty shops in the mall. Flavored lubes smell fantastic (but usually taste like liquid plastic), while higher quality lubes contain mostly natural ingredients.

Lube will reduce the friction between you and your partner, both in the vagina and outside on your vulva, where your clitoris is. If you’re slipping and sliding more, your going to become more aroused than if you have dry skin rubbing up against dry skin. Don’t be too proud to buy yourself a bottle of good lube – it is well worth the cost and you’ll be glad you did when you finally get that climax you’ve been craving!

5 Hot Sex Moves (For Bad Girls ONLY!)

By

Hot sex is created only when you’re willing to get a little naughty. If you want to be BAD, check out these hot sex suggestions – they’re on FIRE!

The common saying “a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets” is the kind of woman that every man is after. He wants someone with that wholesome exterior so he can take her home to mom and get the seal of approval. However, once mommy is out of the equation, he wants that same woman to be able to turn it on in the bedroom and give him pleasure so good, it should be illegal.

If you are usually the good girl in all dimensions of your relationship, including bedroom play, have you ever thought of kicking things up a notch? Wouldn’t you like to be bad? Every woman likes a bad boy, so doesn’t every woman want to be a bad girl? If you are going to go ahead with reading then you better be prepared to be bad.

During sex and when you are feeling extra naughty, there are five hot sex tricks that will easily send your man over the edge. If you thought you were able to give him an explosive orgasm before, wait until you unleash these tips on him.

1. Scratching

When your man is on top of you in the missionary position, a good girl might lie there and take it, caressing his back occasionally and not doing much else. If a bad girl is getting it in the missionary position, she is going to use her free hands to her advantage. Men like it rough because men are built tough. They can handle a little pain and it usually translates into pleasure. To be bad during hot sex, use those nails and scratch him down his back. The pain will transfer into a tingly sensation down his entire back, sending chills throughout his whole body, making him way harder inside of you.

2. Biting

The same goes for using your teeth in the bedroom. Of course, you don’t want to take things too far and draw blood but a little nibble is always appreciated. Biting on his ear lobe while moaning into it will give him that little boost of pleasure and pain. Biting on his bottom lip after kissing him passionately will give him that same feeling. If you think we can handle it, take things a step further and bite his nipples slightly. A man’s nipples are actually more sensitive than a woman’s so do be careful but still be bad.

3. Light Choking

While you are on top, riding your man in the cowgirl position and after you scratch him with your nails, move your hands up to his neck and choke him a little. Now, be careful with this because you don’t want to take it too far. You only want to give him that little sense of “I am in control” and that he is helpless beneath you. You don’t want to obstruct his breathing so lightly wrap your fingers around his neck and gently squeeze. Even if it is a small sensation for him, he will totally think it’s hot and kinky. Bonus!

4. Work Your Hips

When good girls have sex, they don’t get into that deep grind and really give it to their men. If you are going to hone in on your inner bad girl, then you need to work those hips. While on top, good girls will lightly bounce up and down, putting on a show more than feeling pleasure. Good girls will do what they think benefits their man more. Bad girls are the opposite. Bad girls are going to do everything they can to make sure THEY have an orgasm. When you are on top, learn to move your hips in a different motion. Get on top of him and grind on him in deep, sensual circles. You will know it is working and that you are taking your sex level to a whole new level by the look on his face.

5. Expose Yourself

Good girls tend to hide themselves in the bedroom but bad girls are so carefree and they want to be seen. Have hot sex with the lights on or in a nicely lit room. Let your man see all of you and that means ALL of you. Let him take you from behind, spread your cheeks and see everything. Men are visual and they need to have that stimulation. If you give it to him in this sense, you will be surprised to see just how fast he ejaculates. Seeing what is going on makes all the difference to him. Put your shyness away because you are a bad girl now.

Now, get on with your bad self and show your man a whole new side of you tonight. That is, if you dare.

3 Ways To Give Women Multiple Orgasms Without Intercourse

By

The female orgasm is unique because girls can have MANY orgasms in one sitting. While most guys struggle to have more than one orgasm in a single sex or masturbation session, the only stopping a woman from having orgasms all night is her. Her body has the ability to keep going and going and going (does that sound familiar?) Here’s how to give your lady multiple orgasms – NO intercourse required!

The vast majority of men are clueless when it comes to giving women orgasms. Many continue to think that one should bring women to a sexual climax through intercourse only. Nothing is further from the truth!

Did you know that it is FAR easier to make a woman orgasm without intercourse? That is true. Most women are NOT able to have vaginal orgasms. The female clitoris needs to receive ample stimulation during sex and intercourse is not the best way to achieve this.

Here are 3 simple tips that will “prime” your woman to achieve unimaginable, multiple orgasms, using just your hands!

“Lip Service”

Most guys don’t do this enough and head right into intercourse immediately. Make sure that you take the time to appreciate her beauty. Connect with her emotionally. Run your hands through her hair and then let them rest on her lips. Take her face in your hands and kiss her. Compliment her while you kiss her all over her body. These are romantic gestures that will endear you to her and will get her sexually excited.

“Roaming Service”

A man is said to have only two arousal points – the brain and the genitals. But the female body has far more erogenous or sensitive areas, and thousands more nerve endings that can bring out her wildest side. Learn her entire body landscape. Touch and caress all the spots that she wants to be touched. Start with the non-genital areas first, traversing your fingers from her arms to her belly and then her legs – before giving your attention to the sensual area in between her legs.

You don’t want to head straight for her clitoris – by exciting all of her other erogenous zones first, you’ll awaken her clitoris and get it ready for when you go to touch it. If she’s not completely aroused by the time you touch her down there, it could be uncomfortable!

“G-reat Service”

Now that she is sufficiently aroused, you should use your fingers to give her the most heavenly orgasmic experience possible. The g spot orgasm is the most powerful and exquisite climax a woman can have. Don’t deprive her of this pleasure! The g spot is usually located about two inches inside the vagina along the frontal wall. Once you find this soft gland, use your index or middle finger and stimulate it in a “come hither” motion. The kind of climax she will experience will be nothing short of breathtaking!