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You are here: Home / Archives for have better sex

Premature Ejaculation – How Kegels Can Help You Last 20 Minutes Longer In Bed

By jackgrave

Premature ejaculation can mean the end of your sex life. Learn about this simple little exercise that can help YOU last longer in bed by over twenty minutes!

What Are Kegels?

Kegels are the name given to exercising a specific muscle in the body called the PC muscle. The PC muscle is a muscle in the genital area, also known as the pelvic floor muscle. Strong PC muscles can help you prevent premature ejaculation.

How To Locate The PC Muscle

Finding it is easy. When you next go to the bathroom, stop the urine flow mid stream without pinching the head of your penis. The muscle you use to stop the urine flow is what is known as the PC muscle. And just as it can stop the flow of urine it can be trained to stop the flow of ejaculation during orgasm.

The only catch is that stopping ejaculation is more difficult than stopping urine flow and requires two extra critical factors not needed in stopping urine flow; strength and timing. If you don’t get these two critical factors right, then no matter what you do you will not be able to use it to last longer in bed.

On the other hand if you do get them right then you’ll have mastered one of the single most effective methods for lasting longer in bed. So how can you develop your strength and timing? Well firstly, the strength is developed by exercising this muscle, which is also known as performing Kegels.

How Men Perform Kegels

Performing Kegels is relatively simple. It doesn’t take a lot of time. In fact it shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes a day, 5 days a week. What’s even better is that they can be done while doing some other basic tasks like driving or while you’re sitting at a computer.

So really it costs you no extra time to do them. It’s more a case of getting in the habit of doing them, because if you don’t they’ll be too easy to forget to do.

The Kegels Workout

Here’s how I recommend a man workout his Kegels. Locate the area if you haven’t already. Tighten and hold it as tight as you can for 2 seconds, then relax it fully for 2 seconds. Squeeze and hold it as tight as you can for 2 seconds, and relax it again fully for 2 seconds. Repeat this process 10 times to make one “set.” Take a 1 minute break, then repeat steps 2-6. That’s it.

Putting a halt to premature ejaculation really that simple.

Depending on your current strength you may want to increase the intensity of the workout, like doing more reps or sets, but the above is a good starting point. Over time you will want to increase the intensity of your workouts as your pelvic floor area develops more strength.

Just don’t OVER work yourself! The aim is not to injure yourself but to develop your muscle strength so you can stop premature ejaculation.

How To Last Longer In Bed

So assuming you’ve got enough pelvic floor strength (which can take between 1 to 3 weeks to develop) you now need to master your timing to stop premature ejaculation and last longer in bed.

When you learn to stop ejaculation during orgasm what happens is your desire to orgasm again will disappear for anywhere between 1 to 10 minutes (depending on your timing and strength) but you will still maintain your erection. This means you can keep on having sex without the need to immediately orgasm.

And when the desire to orgasm comes up again you can just stop ejaculation a second time and continue again. Overall it’s a very powerful technique for lasting longer in bed.

And once you figure out how to do it it really is as simple as just temporarily stopping your thrusting or the stimulation you’re getting when you’re about to orgasm and squeezing tight on your PC muscle. But to get the timing of the tightening perfect takes practice. If you stop the stimulation and tighten your muscles too early then your ejaculation won’t come and the desire to orgasm will still be there when you start up stimulation again.

If, on the other hand, you tighten your muscle too late then your ejaculation will have built up too much momentum by the time you squeeze your muscle and you won’t be able to stop ejaculation from happening.

So be prepared to fail (which I recommend you do during masturbation before trying it out in the bedroom) before you master it. But taking the time to learn Kegels is well worth the effort, because like I said earlier it is one of the single most powerful techniques for lasting longer in bed.

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: have better sex, last longer in bed, orgasm, premature ejaculation, sex tips

7 Foreplay Tips That Will Bring Your Lover To The Edge

By loveandsex

Foreplay can often be more satisfying than the sex itself, because it’s the anticipation that is sweeter than relief. These tricks will drive your partner wild!

Slow, Deep Kissing

No, not the slobbery kind. Making out is a heavily underrated foreplay technique, because it is usually seen as what people do when they’re not sexually active. The truth is, deep and slow kissing is a huge turn on even when you know you’re going to have sex later! Keep your saliva in check, but don’t be afraid to slowly explore your partner’s entire mouth. Nibble their lips and kiss them softly on the mouth before engaging in tongue again. Enjoy it and convey to your partner that you are enjoying it and aren’t in any rush at all.

Rubbing Your Hands All Over Their Body

This may seem cliche, but most people don’t do this correctly during foreplay. Having your partner rub their hands all over your body can be extremely thrilling – but most of the time, the touch isn’t soft enough to really send chills down your spine. When you go to rub your hands all over their body, don’t use your entire palm. Instead, use only your fingertips and touch your partner only as hard as you might touch a laptop track pad. This soft touch is what will ignite the nerves in your partner’s skin!

Kissing Their Body

You’ll want to take your mouth along the trails that you made with your hands, but again, remember to do this softly. A nibble and a lick here and there is nice during foreplay, but try to use only your lips when you do this. The softness and warmth of your lips without wetness is extremely enticing. Don’t leave any part of their body uncovered by your mouth – go all the way down their legs and back up again, over their tummy and chest, and back up to their neck, chin and arms. You can even use this as a “body mapping” technique by paying attention to which spots they seems to enjoy the most.

Breath Play

When you’re kissing your partner’s entire body is a great time to engage in breath play. Breathe hot air against the area you just kissed, or lick the area and breathe cool air on it to send an icy shiver down your partner’s spine. Breath play is especially effective around the neck area and ear area, and when you’re kissing.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is an essential part of foreplay because it not only conveys a lot of emotion (which is necessary for women), it also creates immense pleasure for both girls and guys. Make sure that your foreplay routine never, ever skips over oral sex. Depending on what you and your partner want to do, you can use oral sex as a tease (don’t bring your partner to orgasm) or you can use it to give your partner an orgasm to prep them for multiples later (this is usually done with women and can make sex absolutely explosive!)

Teasing Penetration

Teasing penetration is an intense form of foreplay that is just as hot for the guy as it is the girl. After you’ve done oral sex, kissing and touching and you’re ready for sex – but not quite ready to give in to the anticipation yet – teasing penetration will keep the fires burning but satisfy your need to be closer to each other. During teasing penetration, the male partner will enter the female’s vagina, but only a little at a time. Short, light thrusts that only put the head in are incredible for both him and her, and either partner can control this. If she wants to tease him, she can hold his hips to prevent him from going in further and if he wants to tease her, he can simply pull out. This form of teasing will almost always end in sex because at some point, the need and desire overwhelms both the man and woman!

Backing Off From Orgasm

If you haven’t completely lost all your senses yet in a cloud of bliss and passion from all the foreplay, you may still want to prolong the actual finale. Tease your partner by reducing the amount of stimulation (whatever it is at this point) when you feel they are close to orgasm – you will also want to do this when you feel like you’re getting close to orgasm. Resume kissing or teasing, until you’re both cooled off enough to continue without reaching orgasm immediately. This time frame will get more narrow as you continue – eventually when you resume sexual activity you’ll blow immediately, or you’ll just get to the point where you’re completely powerless to stop it.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: foreplay, have better sex, kissing, oral sex, sex tips

Sex: Physical Vs. Emotional And Why You Need To Know The Difference

By loveandsex

Sex has several facets to it, but the biggest two are the physical side of sex and the emotional side of sex. Here’s why YOU need to understand the difference. Every time sex is on the table, two elements come in focus – there’s a PHYSICAL and a PSYCHOLOGICAL-EMOTIONAL side.

One is not more important than the other, and they are not mutually exclusive. But for our purposes here, we shall treat them as if they were.

One Side Of Sex Vs. The Other

Physical sex refers to those luscious lips you long to kiss, that pair of erect nipples on a horny woman’s heaving bosom and that firm body you long to be on top of.

Psychological-Emotional sex can refer to many things. Since sex stands on an interactional and symbolic basis, the issues of self-esteem, self-control, self-concept, self-confidence, dominance and sexual hang-ups come in. Also included are the feelings for the person you’re with, or the lack thereof. It’s your perception of the relationship, is it a one-night stand or a long-term thing?

The Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To Sex

Men are naturally dialed to the physical. Huge breasts. Tight ass. And of course—a freak in bed, willing to try every silly trick in the book. Still, it doesn’t mean the psychological-emotional issues never come in. One can’t escape them – whether one likes it or not, both sides come into play every time.

Women dig the Psychological-Emotional, and for many, sex presupposes an emotional connection. Not necessarily the “I’m so gonna marry this guy” feeling, but at least a feeling of closeness and comfort. Barring the effects of alcohol, many won’t sleep with a guy unless they feel something. “I’m not that kind of girl,” they’d say.

But that’s not alluding to women never looking at the physical – your girl  is much hornier than you think. They do get it on, and when they get going, they REALLY get going. They absolutely lust for and look at the physical – “He’s got to have blue eyes, a captivating smile and a tongue that won’t quit.”

You can say that women are plugged to both physical & psychological aspects. They know that the best sex is when it’s with someone they really care about. Eve knows that having a warm body on top of her, caressing places where-the-sun-don’t-shine, is physically rewarding, but when it’s done by the person she’s really into, it becomes more intense – a lot more! That’s the psychological-emotional part talking right there.

Combining The Two Together To Become Great At Sex

Get this: Getting laid in the most ecstatic and unbelievable manner will always involve the recognition of the 2 sides. The greatest encounters cannot unfold by virtue of only the physical. The psychological-emotional is a big, big chunk of the game and overlooking it deprives one the full continuum of pleasures.

To become a great lover, one cannot miss the emotional train and purely take a physical stance. Many women, probably the majority, get satisfaction not mainly through the physical but from its emotional underpinnings. Emotions are a big hit to your girl; she is literally a slave to them.

Thus, what you accomplish in her emotionally reinforces what you accomplish physically. You may not really be a blast when it comes to sex techniques and fanfare, but you will still rock her world if she’s really that into you – (her brain will think so.)

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, sex tips

Foreplay: How To Undress A Woman

By loveandsex

Foreplay is essential to great sex, but you don’t have to wait until your girl is naked to start. Here’s how to make GETTING her naked part of the foreplay!

By touching your partner during foreplay, you are telling your partner that you are interested in having sex. In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that one hundred percent of the women polled feel that when their partner touches them, it is a sex-signaling mechanism. In other words, touching someone you care about is read by women as another way of asking, “Would you like to have sex?”

Try to casually touch your lover as much as possible without being clingy or needy. Merely let them know that you are interested, and you will drive the arousal levels sky high.

Undressing And Getting Ready

It really doesn’t matter how you take your partner’s clothes off; they can fly off in the heat of the moment, be stripped off as a tease, or peeled off gently and one by one. The point is that her clothes are coming off and that’s a good thing but some items are a bit harder to get off than others. Let’s look at some of these issues and how to work around them.

Should I Take Her Clothes Off?

Listen to your partner, both what she’s saying and her movements. Is she begging you to remove her clothes, or is she taking them off for you? Does she offer advice on how to remove certain bits and pieces, or does she look at you provocatively in anticipation? Pay attention to the nuances.

If you find yourself nervous and fumbling, slow things down even further. Rub the places that you want to remove the clothes, first, to warm up her skin and really sensitize her body to your touch. Or, kiss and nibble those same areas lightly before detaching whatever clothing you’re working on next. Trust me, the more time you take at this stage of the game, the more aroused she’ll get, and the more attentive and caring you’ll come across.

Should Everything Come Off?

A valid question, but one that probably is better answered in the heat of the moment. Some women are self-conscious and aren’t comfortable whipping off their clothes while with someone new, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue if you’re going slow while tickling, lightly biting or being playful as you move around her body. Make her comfortable and anything is possible, but you will eventually need her panties to come off if you want to perform oral sex.

How Do I Get Her Bra Off?

Like the condom wrapper or dental dam, bra clasps are a tricky thing to master, especially when you’re excited and can’t wait. Try first undoing it with two hands (much easier), then move on to the one-handed technique with these tips:

  • Kiss her neck and tickle her with your breath; most women love this and can’t get enough of it. While you’re behind her, it’s relatively easy to see where her bra strap is, so you can grab it with two hands and remove it that way.
  • If you’re standing in front of her, give her a hug. Then, use both of your hands to grab her bra clasp, and pinch it together like you’re trying to open a chip bag. You’ll know you’ve got it because the bra will come off. (And as an aside, this technique works exceptionally well with only one hand too – a man I used to date could undo my bra with one hand in mere seconds whenever he hugged me hello. It just takes a bit of practice).

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: foreplay, have better sex, seduction, sex tips

Sex Tips: What Is Sexual Programming?

By loveandsex

Sex tips are how to’s and what to do’s, but what if you looked deeper into it? Understanding your own “sexual programming” may be all the sex tips you need.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “SEX”? What pictures flood your head? What positions do you see, what sounds do you hear? How far will you go in its name and what are your boldest, darkest fantasies? How about your most embarrassing bedroom moments? Recall the best hump you’ve ever had. Who were you with?

Then imagine the one person on this planet you absolutely want to do it with. What would that be like?

Think about these things.

What Is “Sexual Programming?”

Your answers form part of your Sexual Programming (SP). Every idea, picture, expectation about sex is part of your SP. Our Sexual Programming is essentially what we think about “SEX.” It is a collection of beliefs, conditioning, and how it has remained or evolved over the years.

You have your own sexual ideas, sexual biases and therefore your own personal SP. You didn’t come into this with zero knowledge or expectation of what we’ll be talking about. Heck, you may even have a whole bag of techniques and a wealth of experience.

So let me ask you: How much do you consciously know about your own Sexual Programming?

Knowing Your Own SP

The problem with many people, and not just guys, is that they are too focused on sex tips and don’t have the vaguest idea about their SP’s. They don’t know what they want, not having taken the time to really think about it. For sure they want lots of hot sex. But ask them “What kind?”, and they start stuttering the details.

Sexual Programming determines how one goes about the act. If it’s just a libido-quenching affair for you, you’ll have no qualms with one-night stands (and definitely won’t call the next day.) If for you it’s something sacred, you might be a virgin waiting for your equally virgin bride. You can be the former or the latter, and everything in between.

SP not only guides your actions, expectations and rationalizations, it defines your experience – that’s how powerful it is!

Reprogram Yourself

If the ideas, thoughts and feelings you have about sex aren’t ideal, it’s time to reprogram yourself. A poor SP can lead to an unsatisfying sex life, no matter how many sex tips you read about and utilize. You can reprogram yourself a number of ways:

  • If you were abused as a child in some way, seek help. This most certainly is part of your SP and can drastically reduce satisfaction in your current sex life.
  • Research sex tips. Arm yourself with the knowledge of how to please a woman and how to please yourself.
  • Communicate with your partner about your sex life, what you want and what they want.
  • Be open minded to new things and new possibilities.
  • Be confident!

 

 

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, libido, sex tips

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