Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for have better sex

Are Your Friends Ruining Your Sex Life?

By

Sex tips from your friends can actually be wreaking havoc on your sex life. Watch out for these three bogus sex tips – they’re likely not true.

Where did you learn about sex? Health class? Your dad? But where did you learn about having sex? A lot of your early knowledge of intercourse probably came from your buddies, especially the ones who claimed to be getting some. Bad news, friend, they were just as clueless as you were.

They too were relying on information from dudes who claimed to be having a bunch of sex and weren’t. Unfortunately for women everywhere, a lot of this locker room talk has no merit, yet sticks in the sexual psyche of the American male. Here are some things your buddies have bragged about, and shouldn’t have.

They Equate Penis Size With Sexual Prowess

Men seem to think that the bigger the penis the better. Guess what guys, size doesn’t matter – much. There are so many ways to pleasure a woman, and penetration is actually the least effective. Only 25% of women orgasm during intercourse. That doesn’t mean that 75% of men have tiny, unsatisfying penises, it just means that it’s difficult for women to cum during sex. So most of a woman’s climaxing happens during what you consider “foreplay,” which happens before your penis even touches her.

They Went Down On A Girl For Like, “Two Hours”

This one even he may actually believe. When a man realizes a woman is going to let him stick his penis in her, every second leading up to that desirous act feels like an hour. It’s not. Most men also think that performing oral sex on a woman is just something you do to get her wet enough to handle your impressive member. Not true.

What you consider foreplay is, to her, part of the sexual experience as a whole. Instead of rushing through it so you can get to the “actual sex part,” keep yourself tuned into her responses. Pleasing her can be pleasing yourself. And remember, women aren’t one-hit-and-quit like men when it comes to orgasms. So if you start the orgasm train early, she will definitely be impressed.

They Brag About How Long They Can Last

Let’s put this to bed once and for all. Gentlemen, women do not want a man who can penetrate her continuously over the course of several hours. The genital area is home to some extremely delicate tissue, and the body can only produce so much lubrication. This is not to say that women don’t like sexual acts that last over the course of several hours.

For a woman, sex begins the minute the decision is made to have the sex. This kissing, the caressing, and the dirty talk are as important to her as the penetration itself. If you allow yourself to be a part of that, you may be surprised at how intense the sexual experience can be for the both of you!

4 Oral Sex Rules You MUST Follow!

By

Oral sex isn’t just something you can “stick your face down there and do.” As with most things, there are a few things you need to follow when it comes to oral sex. If you don’t, you will most likely not be successful at pleasing your woman!

Cultivate A Sense Of Humor

Sex is one of the funniest things out there, and not just because of the weird sounds and strange interests we cultivate. Think about it: both gender’s genitalia are forged from the same embryonic tissue, yet how those bits and pieces become aroused and ready for sex are incredibly different. As you’ll learn later in this series, it normally takes men a considerably shorter amount of time to go from arousal to climax than a woman, leaving her, literally, hanging at the end of an encounter.

Plus, after orgasm both men and women have something called oxytocin floating around in their system. Known as the ‘cuddle hormone’, it makes many men unable to do much more than sleep after a lively bout of sex, whereas women want to bond, cuddle and coo with their partners. Sure, it may lead to a lot of heartache between partners, but you can’t deny that how it all works is really quite humorous.

Understand Where The Action Is

If you want to make your partner orgasm, focus on her clitoris. With more than double the amount of nerve endings as compared to the penis, the ability to give a woman multiple orgasms, and a purpose of nothing more than to please, the clitoris offers more than the vagina ever can.

The clitoris is a fantastic feat of divine engineering. With more than eighteen visible and tucked away parts, it’s the main event when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually. (Don’t worry, we’ll detail all of its aspects throughout this eBook). All in all, the clitoris is less like a ‘button’ and more like a complex network of interconnected circuits, all waiting to be stroked and explored properly for the ultimate of satisfaction.

Tongue Trumps Penis

Most men are familiar with Ron Jeremy, the bearded porn star known for his large penis and even bigger personality. The guy is paid to do it, and does it well, so it’s no surprise that he’s been quoted as saying, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.” Even noted sex researchers such as Shere Hite of the Hite Report On Sexuality have commented that penetrative intercourse doesn’t seem to offer women the opportunity to orgasm all of the time. Which makes sense when you think about it, as a woman’s clitoris is positioned just a little bit too high for it to be rubbed the right way during most sex acts.

Need more proof? A study quoted in the book Sex: A Man’s Guide, found that women in long term, monogamous relationships found intercourse satisfying only sixty-eight percent of the time, whereas cunnilingus pleased them eight-two percent of the time. As well, sex only gave them an orgasm during a quarter of their sexual escapades with their partners, but oral sex brought them to climax almost every time (81%).

Learn What Works, Fix What Doesn’t (The Most Important One)

Think you know all there is to know already about oral sex? Many women have time and time again said that their male partners were too harsh, eager, slow, not open to suggestion, or lost focus at critical times.

So most men, in their efforts to please their partner, go looking for information from the most available of sources: pornography, magazines, friends and/or books. But the issue is that most of these sources have the information wrong – not that they are trying to mislead you, but rather, they just don’t know the mechanics of a woman’s orgasm well enough to say, “Oral sex is best!” and “Do it this way to ensure an orgasm!” Most information sources will only give you tidbits, part of the picture, or don’t explain why you’re doing what you’re doing.

That’s why this is one of the few rules that shouldn’t be broken when it comes to oral sex: learn what works for your gal, take note of it, use if often, and play around to see if there’s something new that you may have missed. Discard what doesn’t work, or what doesn’t get her revving, and you’ll be that much closer to a routine that guarantees success.

How To Give An Erotic Massage In The Bathtub

By

An erotic massage will make a woman so relaxed, she’ll want to do anything with you! Here’s how to give her a great rub down in the tub.

One of the ways a woman gives herself a relaxing treat is by soaking in a long, hot bath so you can take this opportunity to really give her a treat by preparing a bath for her. Of course, with other ‘extra treats’ as only you can provide.

How to Prepare a ‘Proper’ Bath for Her

No guys, a bath is not just filling the tub with hot water and pouring some bubble bath solution in it. If you’re going to do this, do it good and create the right ambiance for her.

First, close the windows and blinds and submerge the whole bathroom in darkness. Next, light some candles. They can be scented or not depending on what type of aromatherapy or scented oil you used.

So for example, if you’re using vanilla oil on the oil diffuser, don’t use strawberry-scented candles as the heady, super sweet smells will most likely give you both a headache. Aim for one scent or like what’s mentioned above, use non-scented candles if you’re going to burn scented oils.

Also, don’t scrimp on the candles okay? The more, the merrier!

Next, put on some soothing music and make sure it’s not too loud or too soft. To test this, turn the music on and go into the bathroom and close the door a bit. Check if the music level is just right.

Next, make sure everything you need is within reach. It’s not good if you break the erotic massage all the time by running out of the bathroom! Plus, it’s not good for the overall warm temperature in the bathroom. Just put everything you need on a tray and set this on the toilet or on a small chair.

Don’t forget a few edible treats. A glass of wine or champagne and a platter of crackers and cheese are sexy and will make you both last long during the erotic massage.

Sexual Massage Moves In The Bath

For starters, let her soak in the bath for about 5 to 10 minutes just to loosen her tight muscles and wracked nerves. Don’t join her in the bath just yet.

Start sexually massaging her while you’re still outside the tub. Sit on the edge or pull up a chair and use a wooden massage roller and move this along her body.

You can also position yourself at the top edge of the tub so you can massage her head. Slip your hands under her shoulders and then draw them up and out. A variation of this step is to pull your hands along the underside of the head, with your fingers against the back of the neck.

Feel free to shampoo her hair too. The pressure of your hands on her scalp in combination with the soft suds of the shampoo will feel great. Besides, this is the beauty of an erotic massage in the bathroom, no cares for the all the water and soap that might spill on the floor.

Get In The Bathtub Too

Now, without breaking your massage strokes, climb into the bathtub and join her. Sit behind her with her back to yours (sort of like spoon to spoon). Start massaging her shoulders and work your way to her lower back. And now comes the best part – massaging her front.

Start by reaching over and cupping her breasts (gently!) You can use the soap suds or better yet, put more soap gel on your hands and start massaging her breasts as if you were trying to create a lot of lather!

Tease her by massaging her breasts, moving to her shoulders, going back to her breasts, going down and rubbing her stomach, back to hear breasts again. Each time, be a bit more daring and go lower and lower her front. For instance, just massage or ‘clean’ her belly button with your finger and then go back to her breasts before going down to her clitoris.

Here’s a naughty tip for you: unless your woman has gone Brazilian (i.e., has had all her pubic hair shaved off) you can try ‘shampooing’ her hair down there! Simply apply the same strokes you would as if you were washing her hair.

As a climax to this hot tub sexual massage, you may go ahead and insert your finger in her ‘sweet spot.’ Remember, this should be part of the sexual massage and should not be seen as the sexual act itself so be gentle while you finger her. The objective is not to make her orgasm but to simply ‘connect’ with that special place as well. Good luck!

Is Orgasm Trouble Getting In The Way Of Your Relationship?

By

Orgasm trouble can definitely cause problems in a relationship. Here’s how to deal with climax issues up front.

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It’s a fact that men and women are different and that extends to achieving sexual pleasure as well. Take for instance the topic of orgasms; men reach their climax sooner than women. Period.

Unfortunately, since the reasons WHY a woman does not reach an orgasm as fast as a man are not explored, what happens is that the sexual relationship generally develops into one where reaching her orgasm is not even an objective!

Society has a lot to do with this. It seems that women, in general, have been raised with the mentality that when it comes to sex, his orgasm is the goal. As for her, it’s okay; it’s natural that she doesn’t reach an orgasm. And while couples easily accept this, what most people don’t realize is that a woman not reaching her orgasm is actually the root of MANY relationship problems.

Relationship Problems Caused By Your Partner Not Reaching Orgasm

Sexual Frustration

Imagine if you have sex with your partner and you’re never given the chance to reach your climax. That’s a dreadful thought, isn’t it? You probably wouldn’t even call it ‘having sex’ at all. Think of all that frustration inside you that just grows after each time you have sex. Well, it’s the same for women!

Even though it would take longer for women to reach the point of ‘sexual frustration’, they will reach it one way or the other. And this frustration will manifest itself in many different areas in your relationship.

Resentment

You can’t blame women for wanting what they see as an obviously great and pleasurable experience for you. If you don’t take the time to learn how to bring her to climax, then she will soon begin to resent your ‘selfishness’ in bed. After all, why should you have all the fun?

Again, this resentment may start small but sooner or later, it will grow and reveal itself in other areas of your relationship. For instance, she may become short-tempered with you, and you will see this as simply her being annoying or a nag. Do you see how this can easily become a big problem in your relationship?

Decrease In Sexual Intimacy

For many women, instead of discussing the topic of female orgasm with their partners, they deal with their sexual frustration by turning to other things such as using sex toys or engaging in self-pleasure or masturbation. While using pleasure toys and pleasuring one’s self is not bad at all, using it as a permanent substitute to reach an orgasm is!

Pretty soon, the act of making love itself will look less and less thrilling for her. After all, she knows she can get greater pleasure from her sex toys and through masturbation than by making love with you. As a result, she will be less and less inclined to engage in sex.

And now the tables have turned. As she loses interest in sex, now YOU are the one who’s going to start to feel sexually frustrated. Find new ways to recover sexual creativity here.

Relationship Withdrawal

When physical intimacy decreases, overall relationship closeness begins to decline as well. You see, if you don’t make love, you also don’t reach that magical moment called ‘afterglow’, when a couple truly bonds after having sex.

Think about it this way: each day that you don’t make love, is a day that brings the two of your further and further apart.

Infidelity

If a woman gets to experience sexual pleasure only through sex toys and by the use of her own hand, and if this makes her lose interest in the sexual act itself with you, then imagine how ‘easy’ it can be for her to fall for another man!

If a woman meets a person who can bring her tremendous physical pleasure that no one has ever given her before, isn’t it logical that she would fall head over heels over this person? After all, in her eyes, it’s this person who truly cares about her. Otherwise, why would he go to such great lengths to pleasure her?

Female orgasms are not often talked about but in reality, a lot of relationships suffer the consequences of women not reaching their climax. So if you want a great relationship, one that’s also characterized by great sex, then the best thing you can do is to ENSURE you know how to make her reach her climax.

What Men Can Learn From Lesbian Sex

By

Lesbian sex can sometimes be more satisfying for a woman than sex with a guy – why is that and how can you recreate it?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re expecting some “Brianna Loves Jenna” play-by-play involving pillow fights and strap-ons. Well, it’s not happening. That’s your version of lesbian sex, and you’re way off base. Women in lesbian relationships generally report a higher level of sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts. “Well, yeah,” you’re thinking, “they have the equipment.” Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. The “equipment” you deem necessary for sex is just your penis, which is quite different than what women bring to the bedroom. Kissing, touching, sucking, caressing – these are all parts of a woman’s sexual experience, and you’ve been ignoring them.

Are Men Boring In Bed?

This may come as a shock to most men, but a lot of women think men are boring in the sack. This is because men think that there is a method to sex: get her wet, get inside, and get your rocks off. There is no real explanation for how this sequence of events became the norm, but it’s causing real sexual inhibitions in men.

Sex is not a job. There’s no sequence of tasks that must be performed in order to achieve the end game, i.e. blowing your wad. Concentrating solely on your own orgasm takes the intimacy out of the sexual experience. You may have gotten off, but you haven’t maximized the pleasure of either party. Okay, maybe you went down on her. Were you savoring each sensation? Or were you thinking, “Hurry up and cum so I can get up in there!”

Orgasms & Oral Sex

When two women have sex, they are not working toward one simple goal. An orgasm does not signal the end, and they don’t go in treating it as such. Every look and every touch is part of the experience. The warmth of the other’s lips, the softness of her skin, and how she responds to being touched is shared between partners. It is very much about the two coming together for mutual pleasure and shared intimacy. It is also about fun, and you know what they say about girls just wanted to have fun.

Oral sex is a very large part of lesbian sex, simply because girls recognize it as one of the greatest ways to experience an orgasm. While many girls only couples do take part in fingering each other or using strap-ons or other sex toys to pleasure their lovers, oral sex is almost always a part of true, honest to goodness lesbian sex because it just simply feels divine for the receiving partner! You can tease and please with oral sex, or you can get down and dirty and really give your lover something to squeal about. Many men disregard the importance of oral sex for a woman – because plain ol’ intercourse gets him off, it should get her off too, right? Take a cue from the lezzies and engage in some great foreplay and oral sex with your lover. Make her toes curl!

How NOT To Miss Out

Fear not, pal, there’s good news for you, too. Your heterosexual female partner is responding to your lips and hands in the same way a gay woman responds to her lover. She loves the way your skin smells and the way your breath tastes. It’s how you got her into bed in the first place. When she gives you a blowjob, it’s not because she just loves having a penis in her mouth, it’s because she savors the pleasure it provides you. Making love in this way satisfies all your senses, not just your penis. Don’t miss out on all the pleasure! You’re only cheating yourself.