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How To Get Her To Reveal Her Darkest Sexual Fantasies

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Sexual fantasies are one of the best tools in the pleasure arsenal. If you act out or talk about your partner’s fantasy during intercourse, you’re likely to amp up her arousal dramatically. Her sexual fantasies can also give you ideas about which techniques and positions she may be most open to trying.

Some Sexual Fantasies Should Stay Where They Belong

Remember that some fantasies are not meant to be act out. A client of mine from a few years back had a partner who fantasized about watching him receive oral sex from another woman. This was not a fantasy she wanted to really see, however. Instead, it represented how turned on she became by watching people having sex. Fantasies involving violence or bondage may represent a partner’s desire to take a more dominant or submissive role during sex but may not mean your partner literally wants to be hit or tied up.

It’s A Two Way Street

Conversations about your fantasies should also be a two-way street. If you’re asking her to confide her innermost secrets, then you need to be willing to confess yours as well. Let me give you a word of caution about revealing your fantasies. Most of us have multiple fantasies and some of those fantasies may involve women other than our partners.

If that’s the case for you, keep those fantasies to yourself. Nothing makes a woman feel less desirable than knowing her partner is fantasizing about other women. It may even make her feel like you’re cheating, even though you’re technically not. Fantasy discussions can take place almost anywhere. The bedroom is a good place because sometimes just talking about fantasies can turn one or both of you on. However, you could also have the discussion anywhere you have some privacy. Also, it should be obvious but it’s worth stating anyway that whatever your partner reveals to you should remain confidential.

Keep It A Secret

Don’t go running off to people you know and telling them what your partner fantasizes about. When she finds out, and she will, her trust in you will plummet and you’ll never get her to confide in you again.

Of course, you should also share with her the details of your own fantasy. If she tells you her fantasy first, then follow her lead. The more details she includes in hers the more details you need to include in yours. It wouldn’t seem fair for her to provide an elaborate description of her fantasy only to have you say, “I dream about having sex with you on the hood of a car” or something similar.

If she’s not comfortable talking to you about her fantasy, then you may want to go ahead and tell her yours. Once you’ve confided your secret it may make her feel more secure about telling hers. If not, drop the subject and come back to it after you’ve been together a little longer. The more trust you build between you in the relationship the more likely she is to tell you her secrets.

8 Naughty Anal Fingering Techniques

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Anal fingering can be a great way to bridge the gap between regular sex and anal sex. Check out these eight hot techniques to get started!

8 HOT Anal Fingering Techniques

1. See-Saw

This is a simple move that will get her nice and warmed up, especially if you apply a bit of oil or lubricant to your hands. Put your hands together flat, palms touching, and place the outer edge between her cheeks, over her anus and perineum.

With an up-and-down sawing motion, rub this very sensitive spot to stimulate and relax the muscles.

2. Teeter Totter

Using the same exact position as above, wiggle your hands back and forth at the wrist as you slide up and down this area. Add extra lube to make her nice and slick, and to prepare for entering the rear passage.

3. Passing The Time

To stave off any boredom while working up to all the fun parts of anal play, the experts who wrote “Red Hot Touch,” Jaiya and Jon Hanauer, suggest twiddling your thumbs! Using the knuckles of each hand to spread her cheeks apart a bit, slowly circle your thumbs around each other so that the pads touch the anus as they pass. Use lots of lube and increase your speed if she responds well.

4. Making An Entrance

When your wife’s level of arousal tells you that she is ready for more, you’re going to take a hint from the earlier technique of waiting to be allowed in, this time with just a bit of pressure. Using a well-lubricated index or middle finger, put slow, gentle, pressure on her anus; don’t push, just apply steady pressure and allow her  to suck you in past the first sphincter. Rest here and let her adjust to this new and different sensation.

Tell her to breathe deeply, to relax and to focus on contracting and releasing the pelvic muscles, in particular those in her anus.

5. The Waiting Room

With your finger between the two anal sphincters, you have the perfect opportunity to stop and let your wife get comfortable, adjusting to the feeling of having you inside her in this way. If she finds it too strange, you can exit and go again with a bit more lube until she starts to get used to it.

When she’s ready to accept you further, you can put the same gentle pressure on her second sphincter, just an inch or two away from the first. Here again, you need to be accepted in, and it may be more difficult to coax the inner doorway, since it is not consciously controlled. She can’t just relax on command here.

Just remain still, applying pressure, and wait. If she doesn’t open up for you, take the hint. Move on to something new and come back again another day.

6. Check The Clock

The clock face is a great way to envision just about any erogenous zone when it comes time to explore its idiosyncrasies. In the same way that you can explore the vulva and the clitoris, as described earlier in this chapter and the last, beyond the second anal sphincter lies a space which you can explore in this same roundabout way.

Press along the outer edge of the rectum with your finger, stopping to make small circles at each hour. Try communicating with her what you’re doing and asking for her feedback. If she remembers too, it will help you to memorize which spots are her favorite.

7. Hit The Spot

I’ve explained how a woman’s genitals and reproductive organs are all intricately linked, so it may not surprise you to know that you can hit her G-Spot from inside her rectum… but it will probably surprise her!

At about three inches into her rear canal, you can crook your finger toward her vagina for easy access to her G-Spot and with a “come hither” motion might just be able to give her a G-Spot orgasm! If you can pull this off with some exterior urethral stimulation, perhaps using your tongue, you might just be able to see her squirt!

8. The Five-Finger Surprise

If hitting her G-Spot from one cavity isn’t quite impressive enough, why not try for two? This move, in fact, takes two hands to stimulate her entire genital pleasure system from top to bottom, front to back!

With one hand in the position above, stimulating her G-Spot from her anus, crook the thumb from the same hand into her vagina, pressing against the rear wall and perineum. You can begin to make come-hither motions with your finger immediately, or wait until your other hand is in position.

Insert the index and middle fingers of your other hand into the vagina and stimulate the G-Spot and A-Spot. Using the same technique as in the Three-way move, place the pad of your thumb on her clitoris, and rock this second hand back and forth, thereby stimulating her entire labia.

If you have trouble making these slightly different motions at the same time, focus on one hand then the other, seeing how she responds. Find a rhythm that works, and use it to take her all the way to orgasm!

4 Myths About Bondage

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Bondage is gaining popularity, but there are many misconceptions about it. Check out these four untruths you didn’t know about bondage.

Bondage is pleasure-inflicting, fun and, most of all, safe, as long as you’re both aware of your roles and never cross the line.

The bound person finds it exciting because it provides him/her the opportunity to be ‘lazy’ but get all the attention at the same time; the only thing he or she has to do is relax and enjoy what his or her partner has in stall for the evening.

There is also the pleasure of suspense, of waiting to see what is going to happen next, where the dominator will decide to touch and how he is going to do it. Consensual, agreed on bondage gives the one that is dominated a paradox of feelings, which is quite enthusiastically perceived by the lovers of such a sexual activity; it puts you in state of vulnerability, but also gives you security, because the one that is doing it is a loved and trustworthy person. It’s a sort of a calm and serene surrender. A surrender that engenders new heights of sexual arousal.

For the one that does the ‘bonding’ however, it’s more about power in its purest physical and psychological form. No one else but you is really in charge in this particular erotic scenario. The visual appeal of having complete control over the other, tying him or her up and listening to him or her begging for ‘mercy’ is undeniable. His or her body is there for you to tease and please as you see fit.

Since I’m pretty much assuming that you’re aroused by now by the mere thought of trying it as soon as possible, I’ve put together a few comments and explanation so that you don’t fail from the first try, and, most importantly, don’t hurt anybody in the process, either physically or emotionally.

1. It’s Perverted

People involved in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism) aren’t perverts who enjoy harming others, this is a prejudice older than Buddha and it makes me mad whenever I see that there are still people who think like that. Every couple can experiment with bondage if they are determined to change the “vanilla” setting of their love life with something hotter and spicier. Exploring your sexuality is something to be desired, not ostracized.

2. The Toys Are Violent

In itself, no sex toy is ever violent or abusive. The way you choose to use them can be, though. If you spank your girlfriend or tie her to the bed without her initial consent, then you’re in deep trouble mister, but you don’t need me to tell you that. If your action and intention are harmless, the toy is too. If you use it carefully and how it should be used, the only “violence” you’ll get is that of your partner’s orgasm.

3. It’s Addictive

People with obsessive-compulsive tendencies become addicted to their own behavior, whatever that behavior is. Bondage is not an illness or a drug, to become addicted to. If you have a fetish for this kind of sexual activity, it’s normal to want to do it more often than not, and if your partner consents to it or likes it just as much as you, bondage can be explored for as long as you like, without being considered to be an addiction.

4. People Who Like It Were Abused

Bondage is not a crime and people who want to experiment with it should not be made to feel guilty about it. As long as you are well informed about it, take responsibility for your pleasure and not listen to traditional authoritarian voices that belong to the past.

How To Introduce Her To Kinky Sex

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Kinky sex can be lots of fun, but some girls have never tried it. Getting your lover into kinky sex isn’t difficult, but you want to approach it the right way.

The fashion of the more risqué among us has spilled out into everyday culture, with corsets and leather collars becoming almost mainstream. Having said that, most of my clients and friends are curious but aren’t sure how to incorporate a bit of ‘spice’ to their sex lives, even though we’re surrounded by sexy messages on a daily basis.

The Recipe

There are a variety of things to try when it comes to getting frisky with your partner: spanking, bondage, role-playing, or sensation play (like hot wax or ice cubes) are just a few. But the biggest difficulty isn’t in deciding what to do, but rather, how to broach it with your partner. Even if you’ve been together for a long time and trust each other, it’s a scary thing to suggest something new that may not go over well.

Before you broach the subject, applaud yourself for connecting with your sexual being and learning more about what turns you on. In today’s society, that’s a challenging thing in and of itself. Once you’ve patted yourself on the back, try these ideas to get going:

Talk It Out

You don’t need to make the conversation into ‘The Talk’ by blurting out you need to tell her some big secret. Instead, go about it gently, from a different angle. Share what turns you on with your partner on a regular basis. Tell her what makes you hot, and what it is she does that makes you dizzy with arousal. By chatting about sex more frequently, you’ll open the lines of communication so that when you are ready to take another step, you’ll feel more comfortable and at ease.

Dirty Minds Think Alike

Write down the craziest, funniest, sexiest things you’ve heard of, and then draw lines down the page for several categories, like “never in a million years,” or “maybe with some prodding,” or even “I’ve never thought of it, but sure, I’ll try it.” This is a fun game to discover lots of sexual interests you never knew you shared.

Media Sharing

Pick a storyline that explores something you’re curious about sharing with your partner, and be observant of her reaction. Sometimes it’s easier to broach the subject when it’s not coming right at you, and then you can discuss what you thought was hot, and a total turn off, in turn.

Create A Safeword

When folks in the kink community negotiate a spicy interaction, they create a safeword to be shared amongst the participants. Basically, a safeword is something that you wouldn’t normally say in a sexual encounter such as “purple elephant” that tells your partner you need to stop. Some folks just use colors to explain what they are feeling, such as red for stop and yellow for go slower or more gently please.

Start With Baby Steps

Even if what you have in mind is a huge production, and you’ve played out every variation for more than a decade in your mind, you don’t want to start with the whole shebang right away. Start simply, with just one aspect of the concept that gets you going. See how you both feel after, and then decide if you want to do it again, try something different, or incorporate more of the sexual fantasy into your playtime.

50 Shades Of Grey – The TRUTH About “Girl” Porn

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50 Shades Of Grey is one of the best selling books of all time – and you’ve likely heard about the darker sexual plot. Is erotica about to become mainstream?

Scores of women, all over the world are obsessed with 50 Shades Of Grey – an S&M related erotic thriller. It’s given birth to an entirely new genre of literature: “girl porn.” But what does that mean, exactly? What does it mean to women? To men? More importantly, what does it mean to you?

Sorry, It’s Not “New”

The whole “girl porn” thing isn’t new. Books like “My secret garden” have told stories of female centered erotica for years, and the concept is as old as time itself. It’s just becoming more and more prevalent and mainstream. Why? Part of it is feminism, partly due to relaxing social attitudes towards sex and sexuality, but mostly it’s due to one thing: technology. It used to be if you were a woman and you wanted to get your girl porn on, you had to buy a book, and carry that book around wherever you wanted to go and read it.

Everyone likes a little naughty reading time, but nobody wants to really be outed as doing it. Enter smartphones. And tablets. Amazon and Apple sell the tablets simply to drive purchases of digital content through the mediums they rule with an iron fist. conspiracy theories aside, this allows you to buy as much girl porn as you can stand, read it wherever you like and no one will no about it.

You might be asking yourself “Tony, are you saying that woman on the subway who looked way too happy to be there was getting her girl porn on? Am I really to believe that she was reading 50 Shades Of Grey?” Yes grasshopper. She was and you should. The explosion that is 50 Shades of Grey is directly related to the explosion of iPads, Kindle Fires, iPhones, Android phones, android tablets, and the like.

Girls Like It Dirty!

Here’s another truth: women are dirty. They talk dirty and they want dirty things. Chris Rock has this joke: “your woman is nastier and dirtier and more sexual than you ever imagined. She’s dying to do it. But anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Women have always been this sexual. They’ve always been into porn. They are just into a different kind of porn than men are. Don’t believe that women are pervs too? Two words: Magic Mike. Women losing their minds over have naked shirtless men who are ripped and in great shape. They eat that up. Literally.

Women have always been massively sensual creatures, but they’ve been bread to repress that. Times are changing. That repression is being peeled away layer by layer. Thanks to technology and the internet, women in particular have access to any kind of sex and relationship type they could possibly want, and access to any kind of girl porn they want. They know it’s out there, and that helps them know that it’s okay, whatever that it is.

The Domination Factor

50 Shades Of Grey also reveals and increasing desire for women to be submissive and dominated. Often the women who exhibit the strongest desire to be dominated in the bedroom are the ones who are most dominant outside of it. It may seem a bit screwy, but it’s not. It actually makes quite a bit of sense when you think about it.

There is so much pressure on women today, most of it put on women by themselves and other women. They are obligated to “have it all” whatever that means. They are earning more than ever, having more responsibilities than ever. There’s an ever increasing number of roles women are having to play and as they take many of the leadership and powerful roles that men have traditionally played, they begin to feel the same pressures.

With all the hats women wear today, it’s no wonder that they want to throw them all off (in addition to their clothes). Being submissive allows you to surrender control and not have to worry about anything. You can use it as an excuse to give into any number of secret sex related desires you’ve long held (orgies, swinging, anal sex, lesbianism, bondage, etc), and in your mind you’re totally in the clear because you were “forced” to do it, but really, that isn’t true at all.

You were simply creating a scenario where you could finally allow yourself to have the kind of pleasure you’ve long desired, but do it in a way that’s safe for your mind and body. And for a woman, that’s an incredibly appealing proposition. That’s what these girl porn books offer.