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You are here: Home / Archives for kink

Kinky Things To Do With Your Fingers That She Will LOVE!

By loveandsex

Fingering can be hotter than it was in high school when you hadn’t yet reached third or fourth base. Here’s how to make using your hands sexier and more adult!

What other kinky things are fingers good for? If you and your wife are both up for something a bit more out-there, try turning up the kinky knob on your relationship and trying out a few new tricks. Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission and sadomasochism are all designed to lead to increased pleasure for both parties. If you or your wife might get off on the exchange of power or pain, why not take a stroll down a few new pathways?

BDSM

Whether you bind her wrists to give you the upper hand or simply to immobilize hers, bondage is a great way to use your hands to make her very conscious of what her hands can and can’t do. Add a blindfold, and she won’t have any idea what amazing new move is coming her way!

BDSM requires lots of discussion and decision making to reach informed consent. The use of a safe word is very important if you will be playing with any kind of bondage or pain play.

When it comes to pain play, your hands are really your best asset. There are lots of little devices you can buy, but if you are just getting to know her responses, you want the hands-on experience that comes from using your own skin. An over-the-knee bare hand spanking can be an incredible bonding experience, and depending on how much force is used, can be anything from energizing and stimulating to excruciatingly painful.

Walk the line carefully. You can also use the same technique to give a light “spank” to her vulva. Be very gentle here, in the facing-her-feet or spooning position, unless she asks you to go harder!

The other great thing your fingers can do to start off playing with pain is tweaking her nipples. What can easily be pleasurable with a gently touch can quickly turn to pain – sometimes, that delicious kind of pain – when it comes to pinching and twisting those sensitive little nubs.

Exhibitionism

In my opinion, that best kind of kink that comes from learning new hand tricks is a little bit of exhibitionism. If you can get her off without either of you having to get naked, it opens up a whole world of possibilities – literally!

With a skirt and skimpy (or no) panties, you have all the access you need to finger her under the dinner table, in a movie theatre, in the back seat of the car, in the bathroom, while she’s sitting on your lap at the club, in an elevator, or just about anywhere else you’ve ever dreamed of getting busy. Time to make a date!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, fingering, kink, kinky sex

Fisting For Beginners

By loveandsex

Fisting is an intense, overwhelming, and challenging experience for any couple, and is definitely not for everyone. Putting the entire hand inside the vaginal cavity is possible; the vagina is made to stretch to fit a crowning baby. The size of your hands and the elasticity of your wife’s vagina, however, will be determining factors when assessing your ability to explore this activity, perhaps more so than your wife’s willingness.

If you are brand new to the intricacies of fingering, don’t start with fisting. Take your time to learn and enjoy fingering itself, because this will help increase her ability to accommodate your whole hand. Women tend to be deeper and more accommodating, and their cervix softer and more receptive to touch, when they are fertile. Try to schedule your time during this window each month for best results.

Oil & Lube

For this kind of intense stretching and stimulation, lots of lube is required. Don’t forget that you can prepare ahead of time by having different lubes on hand, such as water based and silicone or flavored, to make the experience more enjoyable.

Massage Her Vagina Slowly First

Focus especially, but not exclusively, on the rear wall of the vagina and the perineum. If your wife has given birth before, you may have been taught this technique already, as a method to help prevent tearing during the birthing process.

You have nothing so dire to worry about while fisting, unless your hands are the size of newborns, but the massage will help to improve her body’s ability to stretch and fit around you without undue pain.

Loosen Up

When the two of you have decided that it’s time to give fisting a try, set aside a few hours of your day. Yes, hours. This is no wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sort of affair. Fisting takes time to work up to and to come down from, so plan accordingly.

The most effective way to loosen the vagina is orgasm, as the muscles release during the refractory period, so the best candidate for fisting is a multi-orgasmic woman with excellent control of her PC muscles.

Start out with only as many fingers as can comfortably fit inside her, even if it is only one or two. Make your way around the entire circumference of her vaginal wall, starting at the opening and then circling deeper inside her. Try to thrust gently, while massaging the vaginal walls, in this same circular motion.

Stay In the Game

It is important that your wife maintain a certain level of excitement and arousal during the process, to ensure it is enjoyable and she stays relaxed. Make sure she breathes deeply into her belly even when she is very turned on and breathing very rapidly. Don’t forget to keep stimulating her while you’re working on stretching.

Only put in as many fingers as is comfortable, and don’t force anything. Make sure you ask her to let you know by using the safe word if she experiences any discomfort, and back off a little bit whenever she does. You may not make it in during your first time, or even on the third occasion you attempt it in earnest, so you should be sure to remember you are both there to enjoy the ride, not the destination.

Thumbing A Ride

When it comes time to add your third finger, forget about your ring and pinkies for a while. Turn your hand so your wrist faces up, with your thumb on top, and slide these two fingers down along her perineum. The three inserted digits – index finger, middle finger and thumb – should form a triangle that flares out toward your hand.

When you add your fourth finger – the ring finger – it’s time to move the thumb back a bit. This will elongate your fingers, but lessen the circumference of your knuckles a bit. Your thumb should rest in the center of your middle finger, and should be flanked by your index and ring fingers on either side, forming a diamond shape with your thumb a bit further back than the rest. Keep your pinkie out of the way as you continue to stretch her.

If you are able to work all the way up to the fifth finger, just slide the thumb back a bit further, to where the middle finger meets the palm. Keep your index and ring fingers turned in a bit, on top of the middle finger, in the same diamond formation as before, and place your pinkie on top of your ring finger.

This position helps you to keep the circumference of your hand fairly small, keep your thumb tucked away so it doesn’t catch on anything inside, and keep the tips of your fingers close together so you don’t inadvertently bump her cervix too hard, which can be painful for many women.

Twister

Once you’ve reached her maximum capacity – whether that is two, three, four or all five fingers – don’t just start trying to thrust away. She will feel incredibly full, and too much thrusting may push her over the edge too hard and too fast.

Instead, try focusing on twisting back and forth for most of the stimulation. Your twisting need not be forceful. If your twist until the knuckle of your middle finger is facing up on the front wall of her vagina where her G-Spot is, with your thumb stimulating the back wall, just a slight rocking from side to side should be enough to produce incredible orgasms.

When She Comes

She may not need any movement at all for this to feel good, so you may instead want to focus your other hand and tongue on pleasuring her clitoris directly. Be sure to add a bit of lube to your hand, here and there, as you work up to fisting and orgasm.

Keeping her wet and slick is the best way to ensure an enjoyable experience for everyone. Don’t be surprised! You will feel some potentially powerful clenching when she comes, so don’t freak out. Stop moving and just let her muscles push you out and pull you in, until she has been completely sated. Don’t try to pop your hand out all at once; take your time. Ease your way out slowly.

Keep in mind that she will be very sensitive, and probably a bit tender, for a few days afterwards. If you are expecting to have intercourse with her, you should do that before you start fisting, and give her at least a day or two to rest afterward, unless she says that is not required.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, fetish, fisting, kink, kinky sex, sexual fantasies

How To Turn Her Into A Nasty, Naughty Girl

By loveandsex

Kinky sex can be so much fun, but many women aren’t into it. Here’s how you can get your partner to LOVE kinky sex – and practically beg for it!

Relationships are not sustained by sex alone. However, having great sex with your girlfriend or wife is a giant plus. If your girl is not the most experienced in the bedroom or she isn’t very confident with her abilities to please you, you are probably wondering how your sex life can improve.

Women that have high inhibitions or get embarrassed easily can make for very boring lovers. If your girl isn’t willing to experiment as much as you would like to, there are a few things that you can do to bring out her nasty, naughty side.

Improve Your Emotional Relationship First

There are so many people who talk about sex advice without getting to the root cause of why the partner is not willing to experiment in the bedroom. The number one reason that your girlfriend or wife is not willing to get down and dirty with you is because she is probably feeling stressed or overwhelmed by the relationship. If you are having problem in the bedroom, you can bet that there is something wrong outside the bedroom.

Talk to your girl about what is going on and arrange for more time together if needed. Simply taking your girl out for a date night more often or picking up around the house can lead to better sex and better communication.

Find Out What She Likes

So many guys instantly want to do what they like in bed. Whether you have a thing for role playing or dominant behavior, remember that it’s not about you. A lot of guys assume that what they find is hot during sex is universal. If your girlfriend or wife is not very vocal during sex or does not initiate sex, they are probably submissive.

This isn’t always true so you will need to know what they like. You could be in for a surprise. Some girls are waiting for their guys to take control. If this is something that will get her hot, then all you have to do is ask. If she’s not vocal about what she likes then she could also be embarrassed by her fantasies. Ask her to share her fantasies with you so the both of your can work on having better sex.

Build Comfort

The comfort level between the two of you should be excellent. If your girlfriend or wife does not feel comfortable around you or in bed, she is not going to open up and become the nasty, naughty girl that you want. Try using trust building exercises or simply talk about what she finds hot. Letting her know that you’re not going to judge her based on her sexual fantasies is essential. If your relationship is just starting out, she will probably find it hard to trust you right from the start.

However, even a lifelong relationship such as a marriage is not devoid of potential embarrassment. Try sharing some of your fantasies with her in order to get her to open up. Discuss what she wants without judgment or embarrassment so she knows that she’s in good hands.

Don’t Give Up

Like a relationship, all sex lives take work. If you don’t get it right the first time, don’t get discouraged. There are a lot of couples who have to constantly work on intimacy, sex and other aspects of their relationship. The only way that you will fail with turning your girl into the nasty, naughty girl of your dreams is to give up. You might be in for the long haul so gear up. If she gets embarrassed halfway through her fantasy, make it a point to not force her into anything. If she wants to stop, let her stop.

Use Sex Toys & Other Adult Items

Sex toys, pornography and costumes are all part of the fantasy. If you really want to turn your girl into the nasty, naughty girl of your dreams, you going to have to bring in some help every once in a while. Buy her a new vibrator or dildo. Put on a costume that you know she will like.

Do a little role playing. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you take it to the next level. You going to have to build the relationship up until she feels comfortable and turned on by the situations or positions that the two of you perform. Sex toys are the easiest way to get her there. Take a trip to the adult store and find something you both like.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: better sex, kink, kinky sex, sex tips, Sex Toys

Are You Making These 5 Critical Sex Mistakes?

By loveandsex

Sex tips can take you from an out of touch lover to a virtuoso with just a few reading. While you’re not going to be able to literally hypnotize women, sex tips can put you in a place where you will have the ability to gauge what makes your girlfriend, wife or one nightstand reach orgasm every time.

However, there are some very critical sex mistakes that you could be making without even knowing it. Depending on how open and honest your partner is, they might be too afraid to tell you what you’re doing wrong. If you are committing these mistakes, stop yourself immediately.

1. The Foreplay Is Too Short

Yes, there are times when you are both so hot that you can’t wait to get to the main event. However, most of the time, foreplay is going to be essential. If you are spending less than 5 minutes on foreplay, you’re definitely not giving the girl enough time to warm up before penetration. There should be a lot of kissing, sucking and touching before you ever try to have intercourse with a girl.

Think of it like a car in the winter. How long does it take for the engine to heat up your vehicle in the dead of December? At least 10 minutes? Try to incorporate more foreplay for longer and you will see immense results.

2. No Oral Sex For Her

Oral sex is essential for a girl to get warmed up for sex. If you are not going down on her before sex, you’re committing a very big sex mistake. There isn’t a girl on this planet that doesn’t like when a guy gives them oral sex, especially if he’s good at it. Work your way down her body from her lips to her breasts and then down to her stomach.

Don’t immediately go for her vagina, as this is an amateur move. Lick on her inner thigh before you start to suck and lick on the clitoris. You will start to see her convulse a little in her legs when she wants you to give her oral sex.

3. You Talk Too Much

Being vocal during sex is great. While there are girls out there who like a guy to talk dirty to them, there are times when you can go overboard. Calling them names or being derogatory is fine if that’s what she’s into. However, not every woman is going to want you to call them a whore or a slut during sex.

Asking a ton of questions about whether or not she is enjoying herself or if you are doing things right is not going to turn her on. She will immediately get annoyed and probably tell you to shut up. Don’t talk too much unless she is initiating it.

4. You’re Silent

While no girl wants you to talk their ear off during sex, they don’t really want you to be silent either. There is nothing weirder than a guy that has sex in complete silence. Steady breathing without any vocals can certainly ruin the mood. When you’re having sex, reaffirm her by telling her she’s beautiful or that you like what she’s doing.

This can also get her talking and open up the lines of communication for dirty talk. Being silent during sex will make her wonder if she’s doing it right or if you’re even enjoying it. Talk to her a little during sex so that she knows she is on the right track. If she does something that you really like, make sure that she knows about it. You can also ask her what she wants.

5. You’re WAY Too Kinky

Sure, you like a little kink in your sex. Things can get very boring if it’s the same every time. But the last thing that you want to do is bring the sex shop home with you. Girls like a little kink and she might even want to incorporate sex toys into the bedroom. But you’re with a girl that isn’t into the scene, you might be intimidating her with your overactive fantasy life. Refrain from pulling out all the stops with vibrators, dildos, straps and whips until you know what she’s into.

Unless you met your girl on a sex site, you could easily scare her away within a few minutes. Ease her into your fantasies and you will start to see her open up much more. If you jump in too quickly you’re going to send her to the hills.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, foreplay, kink, kinky sex, oral sex, sex tips

3 Ways To Get Her To Do Anything You Want

By loveandsex

Kinky sex can be so much fun, but women aren’t always into what men like. Here are three easy ways you can get your lover interested in what you want!

So What’s Your Thing?

It’s this one fetish you’ve been dreaming of since teenhood. Ever since you realized your penis’ calling, you couldn’t wait for that day when you could finally share this unique sexual activity with someone. You’re certain it’s going to be great, and you’ve been playing it in your head over and over – for hours each night. That’s your THING.

Now, you’ve grown up, and the stage is set. You have your own place and a gorgeous adoring woman. You’ve waited for this all your life – it’s finally going to happen – but she says, “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t do that!”

These were the last words you heard before all your dreams came crashing down. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the quaint sound of your heart breaking into a million shiny pieces.

“But why? It’s gonna be fun,” you tempted.

“I don’t know, I just don’t wanna,” the prude answered.

You threatened legal action, physical repercussions, yes, even groveled, but still came out empty. For the life of you, you can’t convince your lover that it’s going to be okay. She just doesn’t see herself doing that thing with you – nope, not in this lifetime.

So, what’s left to do?

Before hanging the gloves in desperation, here are 3 practical things to do.

1. Find Out If Its Negotiable

Your thing could easily come in conflict with her self-image – she just doesn’t see herself that way. The fetish could be so beyond her boundaries as a sexual being, the moment she heard of it, it made her butt cheeks clinch ever so tightly.

Or, maybe it’s not her, maybe it’s you. Maybe you’ve just been watching too much porn and your erotic expectations are drastically skewed or out of sync. Perhaps what you’re suggesting is so out of this world, 99% of women will say “Nuh-uh,” while dragging you to the Psych Ward.

But granted, the thing, even though it conflicts with her self-image, is a reasonable activity for normal human beings, you need to ask one vital question: IS IT STILL NEGOTIABLE? (You have to give an honest answer to this.)

It may not be how she sees herself presently, but, is it negotiable? Can you possibly tempt her into it? Women have very flexible self-images. They think and say they can’t or won’t, initially allergic even to the very thought of kinky sex. This is usually just their default answer to novel stuff and things outside their comfort zones.

But given proper prodding, they’ll come around and turn out to be wonderful freaks in bed. It’s true, you can get a girl who is very anti anal sex to really love it! But you have to sense if the “NO” is negotiable, or if it’s something driven deep in her core values, solid and totally non-negotiable.

If it’s non-negotiable, then MOVE ON, GET OVER IT, don’t force the issue. She has every right to say “no.” Just because she’s in an intimate relationship with you doesn’t diminish that right a tiny bit.

But if you think there’s a sliver of possibility, then continue with #2. Answer this very important question –

2. What’s In It For Her?

Look at things from your lover’s point of view, what good will your “thing” bring her?

Of course, she can simply accommodate her man’s eccentric and kinky fantasies, but what good will it bring her personally? And don’t just say, “It’s gonna be fun!” You need more than that. Because if she just wants fun, she can turn to a million other things.

“What’s in it for her?” This is what sales savants constantly ask themselves. Only when you take the buyer’s perspective and slide your feet into her shoes, will you be able to understand how to sell it to a woman.

I don’t want to know whatever your thing is, it’s your thing. But basically, you are the seller, she is the unwitting shopper. Don’t sell by declaring, “Do this so I can check it off my list of things to do before I die.” That means nothing to her! If you want “Message Received” blinking in her head, you have to sell it from the opposite perspective.

By looking through her eyes, you can make your thing very inviting and alluring. Package it so she’s poised to gain something from the experience, not as if she’s merely accommodating another one of your whims. Make her engage in it for her own sake. Make it unique and serve it up as a challenge or something new both of you can try. Make sure to give her a climax when she engages in the activity with you. Only then can you finish off with the “It’s gonna be fun” icing.

And you know you’ve done well when she becomes more rabid about it than you.

Here’s the thing. On some level, your girl knows exactly what you’re doing. She knows you’re tempting her, so don’t treat her like some gullible 6-year old. Women are not naïve. They sense these things, so level with them.

And ultimately, leave the decision to her.

3. Know When To Stop

Groveling & begging is not and will never be an option!

Begging? Are you kidding me?! You’re the one with the goods here. Why would you resort to groveling just to be given a shot? To me, it doesn’t make an iota of sense. It’s like a billionaire pointing a gun to some homeless guy’s head, threatening to kill the poor soul if he doesn’t take off with his briefcase of cash.

I repeat, DO NOT GROVEL OR BEG FOR YOUR THING. Honestly, in the past, when has groveling helped your cause or resulted into an amazing time? The best you get out of it is pity & accommodation – which by the way, rapidly comes in short supply.

You can’t get everything through After talk, for one can never out-talk or out-argue a woman who has already made up her mind. Your case cannot be pleaded with wit or logic, unless you can fashion a paradigm shifting speech.

The more you push for your thing, the more she’ll push back – so the more passionate you are about it, the stronger her resistance becomes. This is a negative spiral that you never should get into.

Her saying “No” doesn’t mean the end of things. A verbal “No” in Aftertalk can be adjusted, modified, even reversed during the sex itself. I’m not saying that her words don’t hold water, I’m saying they can be massaged into something else.

The palatability of stuff becomes very different when a woman is in the heat of things. While talking, which usually involves the thinking brain, she can very easily say “NO.” But when she’s in the heat of the moment, enveloped with the orgasm rush, her emotional brain, which knows very few rules, takes over and gets with the flow.

(When talk doesn’t help, go work for your thing during the sex itself. Yes, you can smoothly introduce your woman to kinky stuff she initially said “no” to. So you can then tell her, “See, I told you it would be fun!”)

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: foreplay, kink, kinky sex, sex tips, sexual fantasies

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