Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for love

How To Approach Men & Take Control Of Your Dating Life

By

Approach men instead of waiting for them to come up to you, and you can start taking over your dating life! Forget about being single for good!

Modern tradition implies that guys should make the first move. But what should we do if we see a guy that we think is cute and he’s not coming up to us? This is probably a very familiar situation for any woman. You’re in a bar or a nightclub and you a guy that you think is really cute. He’s standing by the bar or he is surrounded by his friends and he keeps looking over at you, but he’s not coming over. Most women don’t want to go after a guy because they think it makes them seem desperate. The fact of the matter is that most guys really appreciate a woman that approaches them. This shows confidence and can be very attractive. Here is a short guide on how to approach men.

Have A Reason

One of the pit falls that a lot of women fall into to their reasoning for approaching a guy. Most guys have some kind of routine that they use when they’re approaching women and so should you. Take notice of something around him or a piece of clothing that he’s wearing. If a guy is too shy to approach you, he will surely open up once you introduce yourself. He wants a reason to talk to you, but he’s probably just not that great with approaching women. When you walk up to him, have something to say and then let him take control of the situation. When you approach men, it is not as hard when you have something to say.

Sit Down

One of the best ways to alleviate any awkwardness is to sit down next to him if he’s at the bar. This implies that you are interested, but it creates a time constraint because you might just need a drink. When you approach men, sitting down can get the ball rolling very quickly. Simply sitting down and facing forward will show that you’re not desperate. After about 2 seconds, turn to him and say, “Hey, how are you?” or something simple. This gets a conversation started pretty easily.

Be Playful

When you are approaching men, the number one thing that you need to remember is to be playful and flirtatious. Make fun of something about him that won’t hurt his feelings. His shirt, his pants and his shoes are really easy to make fun of without hurting his ego. If you take it too far he’s going to walk away. If you are playful, he will play along and probably get you laughing. Approaching men is about having confidence. Allowing him to make fun of you a little bit will show that you’re confident enough to take a little jab.

Ask Him Questions

When you approach men, it is essential that you ask questions. When you ask questions you can get a feel for who he is as a person. Asking what he does, what he likes to do in his spare time and his age are just the tip of the iceberg. Get a little deeper so you can know if he’s worth giving your phone number to. Men like direct women and since you have already approached him he will probably ask for your number. If you don’t like the guy, don’t give him a fake number. Explain that you don’t think you’re a good match.

Ask For His Number

It’s pretty traditional for a guy to ask a girl for her number. If you really like the guy, ask for his. When a girl gives a guy her number, the guy wonders if she will actually pick up the phone or if the number is actually real. If you really like the guy, get his number and tell him you’re going to call. If you tell him that you’re going to call, then call. Guys love girls who follow up with what they say they’re going to do. More than likely, he will probably think that you just don’t want to give him your number. But when you do call he will respect you even more for it. Guys don’t want girls who play games.

When you approach men, it can be a great ego booster. Waiting around in a bar or a nightclub for somebody to walk up and talk to you can be disappointing. If you’re the kind of girl who has to beat the losers off with a stick, toss tradition and start approaching guys yourself. Once you meet a guy that you like your confidence will skyrocket and you’ll be well on your way to finding somebody to be happy with on your terms.

7 Ways To Be More Romantic

By

Romance plays a big part in any relationship, but if it wanes, you could be in trouble. Up the romance with these seven simple suggestions.

When you first met your girlfriend, you probably did a lot for her. Surprise dates combined with little gifts and dinner at her favorite restaurant. Over time, the romance can take a nosedive and the relationship can go stale fairly quickly. I’m sure that she still loves you and you still love her, but when a night on the couch becomes the norm, it’s probably time to get a quick shot of romance. Romance can be another language to a guy, but there are a few things that you can do to get the juices flowing in the relationship again. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Plan Surprise Dates

Surprise dates are very romantic. Surprise dates usually come at the beginning of relationships for a reason. They are fun and they can be very exciting. Call your wife or girlfriend while they are at work and tell them that you want to take them out for dinner. When they ask where, just say that it’s a surprise. This will instantly get them into a romantic mood. Now make a reservation at a restaurant that you have wanted to try or the first place you had dinner together. If your first date was at a Chili’s you might want to change the venue.

2. Make Her Breakfast

A great to breath a little romance into the relationship is to make her breakfast before she goes to work. Get up early and cook her favorite breakfast. When she wakes up she will smell it cooking in the kitchen. This surprise will make her feel special and appreciated. She will surely wake up with a smile and leave for work happy that she’s with you. Not only will she feel appreciated by the gesture, she will appreciate you for taking the time to do something for her.

3. Send Flowers To Her Work

This is generally done on her birthday or on your anniversary, but doing it on a Tuesday for no reason is also a great way to be more romantic. Women love flowers, but they love having the entire office know that somebody loves them. When a coworker walks by and asks what the occasion is, she can tell them that there wasn’t one. This will make her feel special and she’ll think about you all day while at work.

4. Take A Day Trip

Taking a day trip is a great way to have some alone time together. If you live a couple of hours away from a beach or the mountains, you can easily wake up and take a day trip together. Being away from your every day life and hitting the road will bring you closer and allow you to spend quality time together instead of watching TV. Decide on a couple of places to stop during your day trip and take in the local scenery.

5. Get A Hotel Room

A great way to be romantic is to get a hotel room together in the heart of the nearest city. Sometimes a change of venue can bring a little romance back into the relationship. Get dressed up and have drinks around the city. Go to the nearest bars or clubs and spend the night somewhere other than your own home. This will bring you closer and break up the monotony of spending the night in your bed.

6. Call In Sick Together

She might need a little convincing, but get her to call in sick with you. Calling in sick can be spontaneous and extremely romantic. Spend the entire day in bed together or make a day out of working on a project you have been putting off. Calling in sick on a Friday takes this a step further by giving you a long weekend.

7. Spend One Night A Week Without TV

TV can be a relationship killer. Sitting in front of the TV night after night can make the relationship stale. When your TV shows start to be the only thing you have in common, you should take the TV out of your life for at least one night. Turn off the TV and talk to each other. Talk about future plans or play a couple’s game to bring the romance back into your relationship.

Relationships take work. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect the relationship to sustain itself. By being more romantic you can show her that you really do love her. Being more romantic will bring the spark back into the relationship and keep some of the spontaneity in your connection.

Tips For Recovering From A Long Term Break Up

By

Breaking up after a long-term relationship can be devastating. If you have been with somebody for two years or more, it’s easy to associate her with your self-image. When you break up it’s hard to imagine going forth and finding somebody else. You might feel lost and shattered by the break up, but there are things that you can do to get back some semblance of your life again. Over time, the hurt will dwindle and it’s important to realize that you will find somebody else who can make you happy again. Here are a few suggestions to get your mind off of the break up and put you back on track.

Clean Your House

Cleaning your house can be one of the best ways to get over a break up. Take everything that the person gave you and put it in a closet. Don’t throw it away because you might need it some day. Pictures and other gifts that your ex-girlfriend gave you can bring back memories and make you feel even worse. Put them out of sight so that you aren’t thinking about the break up every time that you walk into your living room. You might feel like you’re betraying her for some reason by removing pictures or placing other things she gave you in a closet, but this will pass.

Update Your Facebook

Remove here from your Facebook account and set the “In A Relationship” setting to “Single.” You can’t do this fast enough after a break up has occurred. One of the reasons that you must do this immediately is because you could still get updates from her account every time that you log in. This can be a quick stab to the eye with a quick click of the mouse. Removing her Facebook doesn’t have to be malicious, but it’s better to do it to her first than have her do it to you.

Get Out

Sitting around the house and wallowing in your sorrows is only going to make you feel worse. Get out of the house and hang around with friends. Going through a break up alone will extend the healing process. Get out of the house and go to a friend’s house or spend time with your family. Friends and family will be considerate of what you’re going through. They can give you a shoulder to cry on and perspective on why the break up happened.

Consider Idealization

One of the biggest problems with a break up is that over time we can idealize the relationship. We idealize the good parts and tend to forget why the relationship failed in the first place. Instead of thinking about trips that you took together or holidays, think about all of the problems that you had. This will help you realize that she wasn’t right for you. Look forward to a future where you won’t have all of the problems that you did with her and you will gain a little perspective on why you broke up.

Take Up A Hobby

A great way to get over a break up is to put all of the energy that you had in your previous relationship into a hobby. Taking up a sport or focusing on your work is a good way to have goals. When you implement goals into your life, you will be able to spend more time on obtaining them. Team sports can work really well because they get you out of the house and around other people.

Set A Timeline

Set up a timeline for when you want to go on another date. We all need a cooling period after a break up, but you also need to get back into the saddle when you feel comfortable. Setting up a timeline will allow you to grieve for the previous relationship, but also puts you on track to start seeing other people. If your relationship was over two years, you could need up to 5 months to really be over it. If you reach the end of your timeline and you’re still not ready to start seeing somebody, give yourself more time. This is not a setback; it’s simply an extension.

Don’t Do A Comparison

Don’t compare new girls in your life to your ex-girlfriend. You broke up with your ex so she wasn’t good enough for you. There were problems with that relationship and it’s over now. Just because your ex hurt you doesn’t mean that another girl will. Have a fresh perspective on new girls and give them the trust and respect that they deserve. Don’t let your guard down completely, but you don’t want to have somebody paying for the mistakes that an ex made.

How To Break Up Without Hurting Him

By

A break up is tough, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Here’s how to break up with your man as nicely as possible – and avoid doing major damage.

We have all been there. You go out with a guy a couple of times and things are great for the first two dates. After the third date things are kind of bland and by the fourth date you know that this is not somebody that you want to be with. One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this scenario is the fact that he’s still into you. Knowing how to break up with him without hurting his feelings can be a weight off of your shoulders. When done properly, you might even still be able to maintain a friendship. Here are a few ways that you break up with him without hurting his feelings.

Nip It In The Bud

A lot of women feel like the man that they’re dating could come around so they try to stick it out. This is not something that should be recommended. Even if he is really nice, you need to break up as soon as you know that he’s not right for you. Doing it in the beginning will save him a lot of heartache in the end. Dragging the relationship out because you feel like you might grow to love him is selfish. Not breaking up with him is selfish also. By breaking up with you are doing him a favor.

Avoid Clichés

“It’s not you…it’s me” and “You’ll find somebody” are patronizing and he could get very offended. When a guy gets offended he get defensive. The last thing that you want is a defensive man that starts verbally attacking everything about you. Just explain to him that you think he’s a great man, but that he’s not right for you. This is an easy way to say that you’re not interested and there’s not much he can do about it. Since you haven’t been seeing him for very long, he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

Be Specific

Using vague statements like “I’m looking for something different” is not enough. When you tell him that he’s not right for you, explain why. Whether it be that you want a partner that wants kids and marriage or that you need someone that is a little more romantic, specifics are best for a break up. This gives him a clear reason of why you don’t want to continue the relationship. You don’t have to attack him or his personality, but make sure that he understands why you are breaking up.

Don’t Be Overly Apologetic

Only say “I’m sorry” once. You’re not taking his house away from him; you’re breaking up with him. Since you’ve only been out with the fella a few times his world isn’t going to pieces. Don’t act like you are the end all and that he’s never going to find another person. Just say, “I’m sorry that we didn’t work out” and leave it at that. When you start apologizing profusely he’s going to think that you’re obsessed with yourself. Statements like “It’s not like you’re Heidi Klum” might come up if you show an inflated ego.

Don’t Stick Around

One of the worst things that you can do is ask him out to dinner when you’re breaking up with him. Don’t put yourself into the situation of having an obligation after you deliver the news. Ask him out for a drink or go over to his house. If you ask him over to your home, you might have to ask him to leave. Always have an escape route. If you stick around he might just try to change your mind. Make it clear that you have no interest in seeing him again and then leave the situation.

Trying To Be Friends

If you have left the situation amicably then you’re in the minority. Most men do not want to be friends with girls they have dated in the past. However, if he wants to still be friends with you, give it a little distance. Remaining friends with a man after you have dated is an honorable thing to do, but if you agree to this you should definitely keep out of touch for a little while. When you break up with a guy, the game begins. A girl that breaks up with a guy is a challenge and men love challenges. Keep the phone calls, text messages and emails to a minimum. Checking up on him can make you seem like his mother and that’s not needed either. Let him live his life after the break up. Don’t let guilt get the best of you. Furthermore, you should be out living your own life instead of worrying about how he’s doing.

10 Signs He’s Using You

By

Relationship advice is something you need to pay attention to if you suspect that your man is taking advantage of you. Is it true? Find out now!

Being used can be devastating to the ego and your self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship –whether budding or established and you thin that he might be taking advantage of you, you’re probably right. There are a lot of reasons that men use women. Sex is the one that most women think of, but there are others. Men cherish their self-image and having a great looking girl by their side is one of the biggest statements he can make while in public. A beautiful woman is a sign of success and power. This is a coveted feature of any man’s life, but he may only have superficial interest in you.

1. You Can Tell That He Doesn’t Really Care

Does he ask how your day was when you walk through the door? If he does, can you tell that he’s actually interested in what you did for the last 12 hours of your life? If you sense disinterest in your work, your family or your passions, he’s probably taking advantage of you. A guy that takes a genuine interest in all of these aspects is going to respect you and really care about what is going on.

2. He’s Uncompromising

When it comes to making a choice about dinner plans or going to see a movie, does he take an interest in what you want to do? If not, he’s definitely taking advantage of you or he’s a sociopath. Neither of these is good and you should probably move on. You want a man that is going to compromise with what you want and what he wants to do.

3. He’s Cold Out Of The Bedroom

If things are frigid unless you’re under the sheets, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s wants you for sex. A man that is genuinely affectionate outside of the bedroom and in public can’t help but to show how much he cares about you. Ditch one that is only interested in a connection in the bedroom.

4. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

A guy that really cares about you is going to show that you’re the only girl on his mind. If you’re dating a fella that buys you generic gifts on your birthday or blows you off to spend time with his friends, he probably wants you as a backup plan. Get rid of him and get with one that will make you feel like the only girl he’s thinking about.

5. He’s Not Concerned With The Future

No man should ever talk about marriage within the first couple of months, but if your guy isn’t talking about taking trips or possible future plans, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will want to make the appropriate comments signaling this interest. If your man is not talking about the future, you need to ask him if he wants a long-term commitment.

6. He Doesn’t Text Or Call You Back

If you send a text to your guy, what is his typical response time? Does he apologize if he doesn’t respond in a timely manner? If he takes a day or two to get back to you, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are interested won’t leave you hanging.

7. You’ve Only Been On One Date

This is a huge red flag. If the only date that you’ve gone on was the first date, you can be fairly sure that he’s just taking advantage of you. Even if you’re not sleeping with him, he probably just wants you as somebody to hang out with when he has nothing else to do. Traditionally, men want to wine and dine women so be on the lookout for a man that has no interest in taking you on a proper date.

8. He’s Disrespectful

A man should always treat a lady as a lady. If he is disrespectful to you, he just wants you until you hit the breaking point. No man should ever treat a woman as anything other than an equal. Remember this the next time he makes a disrespectful remark.

9. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family

If you have only been dating for a couple of weeks, you can let this one slide. But if you have been together for a couple of months and you still haven’t met his parents, there is something else going on. A man wants to have the approval of his parents. Dump him if he refuses to introduce you to his parents.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family

If he avoids meeting your family, this is another red flag. Meeting your family is a big deal. Looking your father in the eye while he inquires about his intentions with you is a staple of every relationship. If your guy refused to meet your family, it’s time to move on.