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The 10 Condom Commandments

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Condoms are essential for safe sex, but do you know the ten condom commandments?

1. Always Have One With You

Always have condoms handy, wherever you go. Guys, don’t carry them in your pocket or wallet though. It’s easier for a girl, because condoms can easily go in the purse without worry, but the heat from a pocket or wallet can degrade the latex material. Don’t keep them in the car either, or you’ll expose them to even more extreme temperatures of heat or cold, depending on what season it is.

Guys, stash them in your nightstand, your bathroom, your locker at the gym, your desk at work and anywhere else you can think of where you can grab one and go if you need to.

2. Learn How To Put It On The Right Way

You may think you know how to put on a condom correctly, but you may not. There’s a certain way to grip it at the base, and you of course have to leave enough space at the top for semen. Take the time to read the instructions (they’re in every box) and follow them to a T. Incorrect condom use is mainly what is responsible for condom failure. Studies show that when put on, worn and used correctly, that the success rate is much, much higher.

3. Always Check For Holes, Expiration Dates, Etc.

So your buddy gave you a condom “just in case.” You’d better check it out. Inspect the wrapper for tears, holes or other issues and always make sure the condom isn’t expired. Do this for your own stash too – that box of condoms you have tucked away in your bathroom medicine cabinet may be older than you think. If one is questionable, toss it and get a new one. You can afford it. You can’t afford the alternative or you wouldn’t care enough to use one at all.

4. Get Your Correct Size

A LOT of guys assume that they need the large or “magnum” size condoms, when in reality, a regular condom will do just fine. The different sizes out there are based on length AND width, so check out what size condom you need and use the correct one. Using a condom that is too tight can cause it to break, or using one that is too loose can cause it to slide off.

5. Use Plenty Of Lube

Lube makes sex feel better anyways, but it also makes condoms work better. Put a dab of lube on the inside of the condom before you put it on for heightened sensations, and make sure to coat the outside and get it good and wet before intercourse. Plenty of lube will help keep it from stretching too much, tearing or breaking.

6. Experiment With Different Kinds

Don’t just pick up the most random box of condoms you can find and use those. Take some time to find out which ones fit best and feel best. Get a variety pack and pay attention to the different sensations and which ones are better for you and your partner. Go online and purchase some of the higher quality condoms used by professionals in the porn industry. If condoms are going to be your new favorite accessory (and they SHOULD be if you’re not in a monogamous relationship), then spend the time and money to find a brand and style that you really enjoy.

7. Don’t Forget Them For Oral Sex

Oral sex is “technically” safer than vaginal or anal sex when it comes to the transmission of STD’s, but that doesn’t mean that you should forgo the rubber if you’re having oral sex. Use flavored condoms for oral sex, because they taste (and smell) much better than regular condoms. ABOVE ALL, do not use condoms treated with spermicide for oral sex! If going down on a girl, cut the condom lengthwise and put over the vulva like a dental dam, with a squirt of lube in between her and the rubber.

8. Discuss Condoms BEFORE Having Sex!

Do not discuss them five seconds before penetration, or even afterwards. The last thing you want to do is afterwards have to ask, “Hey, did you wear one?” If you’re hooking up, discuss it before the clothes even come off. If you’re too drunk to put one on correctly or too drunk to care, then you’re too drunk to get it on. Have the conversation about safety as soon as you decide that yes, you’re going to be taking your pants off for this person.

9. Keep Tools On Hand In Case Of Breakage

Condoms can break. Even when you put them on correctly, even when you do everything you’re supposed to. It can happen. So make sure you have a backup plan. If you’re not super sensitive to spermicide, consider using it in addition to the condom just in case. Spermicides are handy – they come in a variety of different forms that sometimes, you or your partner can’t even feel! The “thin film” kind can be folded and inserted into the vagina, where it melts and can’t be felt AT ALL. Suppositories are similar, while gels and foams are a little more messy. If you haven’t used spermicide before sex and the rubber breaks, have a bottle of gel or foam spermicide on hand that you can insert immediately – however, the suppositories and films won’t work well after the fact.

Also consider birth control – if you’re on birth control regularly and also use condoms, your layers of safety are well put in place. If you choose not to use birth control regularly, consider having the morning after pill (called Plan B and available at pharmacies and Planned Parenthood across the country) available. If you choose to use Plan B, have it on hand. Do NOT wait until you have a breakage to go get it. There’s a small window in which the medicine can really be effective, and this window is AS SOON as you can, but before 72 hours has passed. The more hours that pass between the breakage and the Plan B, the less effective the medication will be.

10. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

If you’re with someone who you are not monogamous with, who hasn’t been STD tested, or you aren’t sure of their sexual history (or all of the above), use a condom. Do not compromise, do not allow yourself to be talked out of it. Do not let someone say they’ll pull out, or that you don’t need one because they “love you.” If you don’t want an STD or an unplanned pregnancy, protect yourself. Insist on if there’s no glove, there will be no love. PERIOD. Do not compromise. Do not budge. If they want it bad enough, they’ll put it on. If not, they weren’t worth your time anyways.

Best Anal Sex Secrets Of 2011

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Anal sex can be fun, but only if you know what you’re doing. You can’t just go in there blindly! The anus doesn’t work like the vagina does – you can’t just stick something in there and expect it to feel amazing. You need to go slow, use lots and lots of lube (as in, when you think you have way too much, you probably have just enough) and start small. The person receiving anal pleasure isn’t going to be getting “pleasure” at all if you rush into it without taking some things into account first and making preparations for a positive experience.

Check out our greatest tips of the year.

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our best tips ever!

We’ve looked long and hard for good resources for you this year, and have had a tough time finding ones that not only offer the truth about anal sex (that you need to be safe, safe, safe) as well as highlight how it can actually feel really incredible! So without further adieu, our favorite resource of the year is:

  • Anal Pleasure For Her (this guide includes pretty much everything you want to know about backdoor action – and some things you probably didn’t – so if you’re looking for an all in one type of guide, this is the one you want to get!)

Oral Sex: Bring On The Sex Toys Too!

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Oral sex can be even more fun when you put sex toys in the mix also. Here’s how you can vamp up oral sex with vibrators, dildos and more!

If You Already Have Sex Toys

If your partner already has a vibrator, by all means use it. But if you need to go shopping for one, do it together so that you can both enjoy the myriad of shapes, sizes and specialties. Plus, you’ll get a better idea as to what she likes and is used to, while still interjecting your needs into the picture as well.

If You’re New To Sex Toys

So what kind of vibrator to choose? Foremost, you want one that performs well for the service you require, rather than one that merely looks good. As well, you want something that isn’t meant to penetrate or be inserted like a penis would be, but rather one with a long handle that makes getting it in between your bodies easier. Variable speeds are also important, as is something that offers a firm softness, much like your fingers or tongue would. You could also go for a G-Spot toy if you want to as it can serve other purposes as well. But no matter what you choose, find a vibrator that is easy to hold for long periods, doesn’t turn either of you off, and is simple and straightforward to use.

How To Use Sex Toys During Oral Sex

To use the toy, introduce it anytime after you’ve made first contact with your tongue. Having said that, you’ll both probably enjoy its use more if you wait until she’s heading towards pre-orgasm. Use it in place of your fingers until then, and make sure it’s on it’s lowest setting for starters; all you want to do is build tension and offer her rhythmic pulses for now.

Then, take the vibrator and place it just inside her vagina. If it doesn’t go in smoothly, put some lubricant on the toy and try again. Don’t delve too far into her vagina, as most of her nerve endings are right around the opening.

Gently pulse the vibrator in small, defined motions in and out of her vagina. You aren’t looking to treat the toy like a penis, but rather are trying to massage the first inch or so inside the vaginal opening. Use the tip of the toy for the most part, and allow it to rest at times so that her pelvic muscles can build tension and stiffen around it.

After a few minutes, try putting your finger inside of her while the vibrator is still moving too. Push the toy up towards her belly button to really get at her g-spot.

Erotic Massage: How To Give A Great Genital Massage

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Erotic massage should eventually lead you down to the land in between your partner’s legs. Here’s how to make her squeal with erotic massage “down there.”

At this point, your lover should be ready for some direct stimulation of her vagina and clitoris. In fact, many women are so ripe at this stage of the massage that they achieve orgasm very easily and very quickly.

The Right Lube For Erotic Massage Down South

Important note! As mentioned, when working directly in the area of the vagina, be sure not to use oil. It’s okay if there is a little oil on the outside of her vagina from when you placed your hand on top of it just before this point. Just don’t use it as a lubricant on the inside of the vagina or within the vaginal folds. Instead, use a lubricant made just for sex, such as Sylk, Astroglide, or Glyde. K-Y jelly will work, but it tends to be thicker than the other lubricants mentioned and doesn’t glide as easily. Be sure to prepare ahead of time by having a damp towel nearby. Use this to remove oil from your hands before warming the lubricant between your fingers.

How To Get Started

You’ll want to be the focus on her intimate zone by gently stroking her pubic hair over the outer portions of her vagina. Be sure to use very soft and gentle motions. Next, gently stroke and tap her outer vaginal lips with your fingers, making sure to keep a consistent and regular rhythm.

To stimulate her clitoris, gently spread her legs apart and place your hand between her thighs in the form of a fist. Apply the knuckles of your first two fingers to the outer lips of her vagina and knead them around her clitoris, moving forward and backward as you massage. Make sure you’re not pinching her skin. You should be gently kneading. Working your way downward, massage the entire labia with a slightly firm but gentle pressure. Make your way toward her anus and then lift your knuckles and start from the top again. You can also use your first finger and thumb if it feels more comfortable.

Better known as the “bread and butter” or “two-finger” stoke, this technique is one of the easiest ways to give a woman pleasure. Place your thumb and index finger comfortably just under the hood of the clitoris (just inside the lips). Gently rotate your fingers around the top of her clitoris and then move your fingers in a downward direction.

Things To Keep In Mind

Be sure to massage and roll evenly, rubbing up and down on either side of the vagina, settling into an even rhythm. When she opens her legs wider, raises or pelvis, or pushes against your hand, that is your signal that she is ready for more direct stimulation of her clitoris.

When massaging the vagina and clitoral area, it’s helpful if you imagine the face of a clock, with the portion just above the hood of the clitoris being the 12 o’clock position and the lowest point near the vaginal opening being the 6 o’clock position. Pay attention to what she tells you feels good and make a mental note of the location in terms of the clock position (9 o’clock, 3 o’clock, etc.) for the next time around.

Circular Strokes

Now, take the tip of your finger and move it around her clitoris in a circular motion. Slowly move down the entire length of her vagina, alternating between bigger circles, stroking, and teasing caresses with your fingers. Next, move back to her clitoris and circle over it with the tips of your fingers. Be gentle when doing this, as every woman is different when it comes to clitoral stimulation. Some women don’t like it. So keep checking with her on what feels best using the clock as your guide. If she enjoys what you’re doing, attempt to “pull” the clitoris between your two fingers through the hood. Although it’s not possible to grip the clitoris itself, the sensation the pulling motion creates is fabulous!

Fingering And G-Spot Stimulation

Next, you’re going to apply a stroke that works both the clitoris and the G-spot at the same time. If done correctly, it will bring your lady to orgasm.

After ensuring her vagina is well lubricated, insert one or two fingers, curving them upward so that you’re working on the vaginal wall closest to her stomach. Hold your finger motionless for a few seconds so that she has time to relax and get comfortable, then being feeling for her G-spot.

The G-spot feels like a small, spongy lump. When a woman is aroused, the area will engorge with blood and become much more sensitive to the touch. After you’ve found her G-spot, move your finger in a “come here” motion, as if telling someone to come over to you with your finger. Don’t apply constant or hard pressure. All she needs is a gentle stroking motion to experience intense pleasure. You can also try a zig-zag motion from time to time so that your finger avoids focusing too much on the same area as it passes over the G-spot.

With your other hand, continue circling her clitoris with your thumb, finger, or the flat surface of a vibrator. When you sense she’s about to orgasm, move back and forth over the clitoris.

Don’t Overwork The Clitoris

An important thing to know about the clitoris is that it is very sensitive. Even when thoroughly lubricated, it is extremely sensitive. If your touch is too direct, too rough, or if you spend too much time stimulating the clitoris or even apply the stimulation too soon, it will become oversensitive. This will result in discomfort or pain, as well as a loss in sensation and inability to achieve an orgasm. So when it come to focusing exclusively on the clitoris, be sure to do so only when you know your lady is close to reaching climax. As soon as she does, back off from the clitoris until her sensitivity lessens.

Erotic Massage: Creating A Soothing & Relaxing Environment

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Erotic massage preps your girl for amazing orgasms – but she won’t be able to relax if the room you’re in isn’t right. Find out how to set up the perfect area.

Before you begin your erotic massage, it is very important that you prepare the room or location in which you will be performing the massage on your partner. Your ultimate goal will be to create a soothing and relaxing environment that encourages both romance and release of stress, anxiety, and inhibition.

The first and most important thing you will want to do when preparing for the massage is to schedule the massage during a time when you and your lady have will have a couple of hours of alone time together. You don’t even have to tell her what you’re up to. Just tell her you have a surprise for her a couple of days in advance, get your massage supplies ready, and be willing and able to perform when the time arrives.

Eliminate Interruptions

When performing a sensual and erotic massage, you will want to eliminate all possible interruptions. This includes things like turning both the phone and the answering machine off. The same goes for cell phones, pagers, and any other electronic devices that make noise or vibrate when some type of message is received.

Other possible distractions might include pets, like a cat or dog that may enter the room or whine, whimper, and scratch at the door. Watches that have alarms or beep to signal each hour can also pose as a distraction. And, of course, children!

It’s very important to keep in mind that when performing an erotic massage, your goal is to connect both physically and mentally with your partner. To achieve this, both you and your partner will need to be able to slip into a state of mind that requires intense focus and concentration. You will not want anything, not even the faintest beep of a watch or the sniffing of a dog’s nose under the door, breaking your concentration. So be sure to alleviate any interruptions that might keep you and your partner from having a relaxed and sensual environment.

Music & Sound

Nothing helps set the mood for a romance and peaceful environment like the sound of soft music. Music is also helpful in reducing background noises, such as children playing outside, cars driving by, and barking dogs.

When it comes to your choice of music, you will want to choose something that is slow and soft. The music should be relaxing.  Music that has added sounds of a soothing stream of water or ocean waves in the background can also be very soothing. There are many musical tracks made just for erotic massage. Not only are these musical tracks soft and relaxing, some of them are very sensual and seductive, so it never hurts to look into them.

Lighting

Lighting is also very important when it comes to creating a soothing and romantic environment for erotic massage. And what’s the most popular source of light that’s directly linked to romance? That’s right—candles!

When preparing your massage environment, turn off all electrical lighting and fill the room with the light from several candles. The soft warm glow and flickering of candlelight sets a romantic and seductive space. It will also help you convey the message that you are giving a sweet and pleasurable massage with several seductive experiences to look forward to.

Be sure to test out the lighting beforehand to ensure you achieve adequate lighting. When using candles, be sure to place them in areas where they can safely burn. Avoid placing them too close to curtains or near anything that could easily ignite from the constant heat, such as paper and fabric.

Massage Table Or Bed

Because your partner will be lying down for up to an hour or more, you will want to ensure the table or bed you create for her is soft and comfortable.

Although a bed can be very cozy, it can be difficult to maneuver around due to its large size. Many beds are also not high enough. As a result, if you use the bed you sleep  and have sex in to give your lady a massage, you could wind up having to hunch over most of the time, which can be very uncomfortable for your lower back. You might also have to get into the bed to perform the massage, which is not what you want to do, as it could create too much jostling around as you reposition yourself in an attempt to reach other areas of your partner’s body.

The ideal massage bed or table is one that elevates your partner to about the level of your waist and can be easily worked around while performing the massage. If you are like most people, you probably don’t have a massage table. However, you probably have a table, such as a dining table, from which you can create your own massage table. Again, be sure the massage table is warm and comfortable. You can test it out yourself first by lying down on it. If you find the surface is too hard, just add some more blankets—the thicker the better.

Massage Oil

Using oil during massage is very important. Not only will this help your hands to glide smoothly over your partner’s body, its scent, warmth, and sensation will add to the seductive nature of the massage itself. Picking the right type of oil is important.

  • Almond oil makes for a great massage oil. Although it’s a little higher in price than other oils, it’s worth every penny spent when using it for a home massage on your partner.
  • Sunflower, grape seed, safflower, sesame, peanut, coconut, and avocado oils make great massage oils. They can be easily found it most grocery stores.

To add to the sensuality of your massage oil, try adding a few drops of aromatherapy oil, such as chamomile or lavender.

Never use petroleum-based oils for massage (including baby oil). Although mineral oil is often touted as great oil for the body, many massage professionals don’t like the feel of it. It is also felt that plant-based oils are healthier for the body than mineral oils.

Be sure not to squirt the massage oil directly onto your partner. This is not romantic and you also risk the massage oil being too hot or cold if you don’t take the time to rub it in your hands first.

Last but not least, never apply the massage oils to your partner’s vagina. The breasts, of course, are fine, but avoid rubbing the massage around or inside the vagina. Before touching her vagina or inserting your fingers, you will want to wipe the oils from your hands. This means you will need to keep a warm, wet towel nearby for when the moment is right. Never wipe her with the towel, however, as this could kill the mood.

Genital Massage And Lube

If you need lubrication for the genitals during the massage, use a personal lubricant. Make sure you take time to keep it warm and out of sight prior to using it. An effective way to do this is to heat a damp hand towel in the microwave before the massage and then wrap the warm towel around the lubricant. You can then set it aside on a nearby table. When the time is right, you can use the damp towel to wipe the massage oil from your hands and replace it with the warm lubricant.

When it comes to using the massage oil, the key is to key it warm. The best way to do this is to heat the oil in a glass bowl or plastic squirt bottle in the microwave just prior to inviting your partner into the room for the massage. To keep the bowl or bottle of oil warm throughout the massage, wrap a warm towel around it that has been heated in the microwave or dryer.