Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for masturbation

Better Orgasm 101

By

As with most anything in life, there is a learning curve one must round before attaining the proficiency and skill to succeed. Sex is no different. Were we women born to immediately know how to achieve orgasm? I think not.

It may be easier for some women solely due to chemical makeup. But the majority of us – 70% according to statistics – require active clitoral stimulation before we can achieve orgasm. The good part is that we can learn a method that will allow us to increase our sexual responsiveness during intercourse and experience climax through the act of intercourse.

Consider yourself enrolled in Better Orgasm 101. We will learn the three steps in a plan to lead you in the right direction.

Clitoral Stimulation

In the first part of your new program, you or your partner will stimulate your clitoris as you are making love. During intercourse, if the motions are distracting to you and prevent you from reaching climax, simply have your partner insert his erect penis into your vagina without movement. During this still period of intercourse, manually stimulate your clitoris until you reach orgasm. Once this is successful, have your partner get moving.

The second phase teaches you to rely less on your manual clitoral stimulation. Gradually stop touching your clitoris a certain time period before your reach climax. You will begin to let the thrusting motions of your partner propel you into orgasm. At first, the time period between ceasing clitoral stimulation and orgasm will be short.

In the third phase, you will begin to increase the amount of time between the end of clitoral stimulation and climax.

You graduate to the next level only when you have successfully passed the test of achieving orgasm through the previous level of non-clitoral stimulation. During any of these phases, you may take as long as you like to complete and pass them. There is absolutely no pressure to move at a fast clip.

Fantasizing

In fact, the psychological aspects of this process definitely need to be mentioned. Our bodies do not exist without our minds. The mind-body connection is a powerful connection that we need to learn to use to our benefit.

When practicing the phases, begin to use your mind to fantasize. It’s one hundred percent OK to do this. To enhance your sexual pleasure, fill your mind with an erotic image that you find very stimulating. This one action alone may be the trigger that sends you directly into orgasm.

It is also important to realize that you need to be in a relaxed state of mind and body when seeking the ultimate sexual pleasure. Shed any inhibitions or old-fashioned notions of what you were always taught that sex should be. Make the sex your own. Slip into a sexy negligee and feel good about yourself. Look at your reflection in the mirror and praise the way you look. Love yourself and let your partner love you.

 Enjoy Different Positions

Old-fashioned notions of sex, for the most part, prevent a woman from fully enjoying her sexual experiences. You do not have to always position yourself on the bottom. You are free to get on top, lie side by side, sit down, stand up, or bend over. You are free to experiment with the things you enjoy. Try one of my favorite moves: rub your clitoris on your partner’s pubic bone when he is inside of you. This feels wonderful.

There is NOT one position or one range of motion. If you do not move your pelvis in a manner that sexually pleases you, you are forgoing a great amount of sexual pleasure. So get moving … move your hips side to side, in and out, all around. Make circles, make squares, whatever you feel.

Exercising Your Sex Muscles

As part of this sexercise program, you should also begin toning and strengthening your PC muscle – the muscle that contracts during climax. This is the same muscle that you would use to cease the stream of urine. Start by contracting this muscle in sets of 25 two times per day. Work your way up to sets of 100 twice daily.

Just as regular exercise in a gym promotes a healthy body and lifestyle, exercising our sexual muscles promotes a healthy sex life. Most women who strengthen and tone their PC muscle have an easier time of achieving orgasm through intercourse.

Research suggests that sexually active women achieve orgasm much easier than women who do not engage in sexual intercourse on a regular basis. Sexually active women love their sexuality.

With all of the practice in which you are about to engage, you will be passing all three quizzes linked to the three-part plan will flying colors. The final exam is scheduled at your convenience. Remember that the real test simply proves that you can relax and really enjoy your sexual encounters. The real test is all about increasing your responsiveness to intercourse.

9 Smokin’ Hot Handjob Techniques

By

A great handjob or blowjob has three elements. Its WET, its WARM and it has good suction/friction.

When beginning a genital massage it is typically best to start with lighter, irregular strokes – like teasing. Do a wide variety to touches and strokes early on. Be quite playful. As you go further and further into the genital massage, stick with two or three main strokes that your partner really enjoys but do mix them up until you are ready for the big finale.

Eventually you will want to develop a good rhythm that your partner can get into – that is the key to bringing your partner to orgasm with a genital massage. When your partner is arriving at an orgasm, it is very important that you don’t vary your technique at all! Moving even slightly into a different hand position can bring your partner back down from the brink and cause you to have to start bringing him back up again. If your partner is close to having an orgasm, the same stroke over and over will push him over the edge! You know how it works with rubbing your clitoris! Not much difference here.

1. Use More Lube Than You Think You Need

Use an excessive amount of lube if you know he can get cleaned up afterwards. If you are at his office in the high rise you can’t be quite as liberal with the slick stuff. Lots of lube will give him a super-sexy, ultra-slippery feeling all over his scrotum, penis and perineum. You can probably never use too much lube, the slicker the better.

2. Tickle Him First

Begin by just using the tips of your fingers. Let them float all around your partner’s penis, pressing lightly and then moving into a firmer press.

3. Use Your Palms

Roll the shaft of his penis in between your palms. You can do this lightly or harder if your partner likes more stimulation. Some guys like it if you shake his member gently and then toss it back and forth between your hands (open-palmed). Obviously you do that more when it is still a bit soft.

4. Stroke With Both Hands

Take one hand and wrap it around his shaft, pulling towards the head. As you’re finishing the stroke with that hand, begin a new stroke with the other hand. Be careful not to pull too hard, however, because anything more than a gentle to a medium pull can give your partner the uncomfortable sensation that he is being “milked” or that you are rubbing his skin raw.

5. The Big “O”

Do a reverse of the technique above. Make an “O” with your hand and put it on the top of his penis and push it down so the head pokes through. As you are moving your hand down take your other hand and do that same. Then take the bottom hand and move it on top. Do this in smooth succession like he is entering an endless vagina.

6. Stimulate His Head

Hold the base of the shaft firmly with one hand while rubbing your palm on the head. This traps blood at the head, making it more sensitive to whatever you’re stroke you’re using on the head.

7. Twist It Up

Give a long stroke from the base all the way to the tip of the head in a twisting motion. You can twist up the entire penis or save the twisting until you reach the head for a varied effect. Put both hands on your partner’s member, one at the base and the other at the head. Use the above technique, but twist with both hands at the same time. You can also twist in different directions to spice up the move.

8. Different Strokes For Different Folks

Try using different strokes with your partner’s shaft pointed in different directions. This causes blood to flow in different areas, making him more sensitive to your movements.

9. Give Him A Ring

Make your thumb and forefinger form a ring around the base of your partner’s penis. Move this ring up and down the shaft in long strokes. You can do this gently or in a more firm fashion depending on the stage of genital massage your partner is in.

How to Finger A Girl

By

There’s a real, hot sexiness to being able to bring your woman to a climax by just using your fingers.

Consider the fact that her body is – literally – under the command of your fingers and that you are able to WATCH her intently as you bring her to writhing pleasure.

Now, isn’t that sexy and hot?

Here are some tips on how to finger a girl:

Pre-Fingering Foreplay

Surprisingly, not all women like to be fingered by their lovers. This can be due to many reasons such as issues about hygiene, trust and may be even fear.

If your partner has some of these issues, it may be wise to pre-discuss the topic of fingering beforehand just to ensure that she’s at least open to the idea of it happening. Otherwise, you can slowly introduce fingering as you make love.

But before that, here’s rule No. 1: engage in foreplay! Foreplay ensures that you and your partner are in the right sexual frame of mind and body needs, making her just possibly a bit more open to being fingered.

Explore The Landscape Gently

If this is your first time to finger her, then ensure that you do everything you can to avoid any hang ups. For instance, ensure that your nails are cut and that your hands are clean (takes care of the issue of hygiene).

But more importantly, be gentle in your finger exploration. A woman’s body is all warmness and softness, right? As such, don’t go in there like an excited teenager. Instead, be respectful of her body as you go in and explore.

Also, using your fingers to simulate a woman’s genitals is not just about insertion. Be sure you pay attention to her labia (genital lips) and clitoris too.

Experiment With Different Textures, Pressures, And Movements

Not all parts of a woman’s genital area can be stimulated in the exact same way. For instance, a lot of women like their labia to be gently caressed, their clitoris to be rubbed and their G-spots to be tapped.

Now – again – not all women are the same so find the right combination that your lover finds the most sexually stimulating. And of course, as you try all these different sexual stimulation combos, don’t forget to pay attention to her! Moaning is good, jerking is not.

Time Is Of No Consequence

Don’t go about fingering your woman with a certain time frame in mind. You may ‘hit the jackpot’ right away, maybe not. Just give both yourselves time to get used to the different sensations. This is actually one of those times when the journey is as good as the destination.

How To Deal With Fingering Fatigue

In the course of your exploration, you might find yourself getting a tad tired but don’t give up and especially, don’t just stop and leave your lover in the cold! If you’re feeling a bit tired, try any of these: switch hands if you can, stop finger stimulation and go oral for a few minutes, stop finger stimulation and use a sex toy for a while, and others.

More Tips on How To Finger A Girl

  1. Lube, anyone? Finger stimulation works best if your partner is really wet. If not, ensure you have a healthy backup of lube ready for use.
  2. Learn and be a voyeur at the same time. Not sure how to please her down there? If so, ask her to masturbate in front of you so that you learn how to pleasure her exactly the way she wants it.
  3. Learn when to stop. As you become more and more enthralled about bringing your lover to an orgasm just by using your fingers, it’s equally important to know when to stop trying. Too much friction can actually numb her genitals and when that occurs, reaching a climax is almost next to impossible so better stop now… and start again another day.
  4. Learn effective fingering techniques! Head over to the link below to learn 2 step-by-step “Advanced Fingering Techniques” to bring your lover to multiple escalating orgasms.

Female Masturbation – 5 Shower Favorites!

By

Female masturbation exists and the tub is one of the ladies’ preferred places because it’s so easy and private. Here are five ways women masturbate in the tub!

With A Detachable/Massage Showerhead

This is perhaps the easiest female masturbation techniques for the bathtub. A detachable showerhead is perfect, because it allows the girl to aim the stream of water wherever she wants it – either on her whole vulva or directly on the clitoris. A massage showerhead is even better, because it features several different pulsating patterns. A detachable massage showerhead is pretty much a water squirting vibrator.

A massage showerhead that doesn’t detach is still a female masturbation fave, because a girl can still lie on the bottom of the tub underneath the water, and let the water pulsate on her vulva. She can angle her body any way she likes to get the sensations she desires.

Under The Bathtub Faucet

This works well for women who either have only a tub or can’t use their showerhead for female masturbation for one reason or another. A woman will scoot her bottom up all the way to the front of the tub, so she can place her vulva directly underneath the running tub faucet. This works better for smaller women or ladies who are more flexible, because the position required to get adequate stimulation to the clitoris can be quite difficult to get into.

With A Waterproof Sex Toy

Having a waterproof sex toy on hand is probably the easiest way to get off in the water. Female masturbation has endless possibilities when you use sex toys to reach orgasm. A waterproof sex toy can be used while standing in the water or submerged in the tub.

A few tips for buying sex toys for the tub:

  • Look for rechargeable ones that don’t require batteries. They are longer lasting and much easier to use.
  • Pay attention to whether it is “waterproof” or “splashproof.” “Splashproof” generally means that bodily fluids and some splashing won’t bother it, but it’s not really suitable for the tub. Don’t assume anything is waterproof just because it looks like it is – make sure the box or toy specs state that it is.
  • Invest in silicone lube. It works much, much better in the water and doesn’t rinse right off like water based lube does. Yeah, you’ll need soap and water to get it all the way off, but it lasts longer in a wet environment. Just make sure any sex toys you’re using with silicone lube aren’t also made out of silicone as this will degrade your toy more quickly.

Good, Old Fashioned Fingering

Some girls are incredibly discreet about their female masturbation habits. For this reason, many of them choose not to use any sex toys that could get them caught. This is also why the bathroom is such a great place for masturbation – you can do so under the ruse of washing up and usually no one will bother you.

Many women will simply use their fingers when masturbating in the bathroom. Fingers are readily available and covering up what you’re doing should someone walk in the bathroom is much easier since you don’t really have anything to hide anywhere.

Electric Toothbrushes, Shampoo Bottles, Etc.

Many ladies get creative when it comes to female masturbation in the bathroom. If they don’t have any sex toys on hand (which many girls don’t because they don’t want to spend the money or are afraid someone will find their stash), they can use a variety of things that are already in the bathroom.

For example, some girls use a spinning toothbrush on their clitoris instead of a vibrator. While a sex toy is much, much easier to use (and better) than a toothbrush, you can’t usually leave your sex toys out on the counter next to everyone else’s toothbrushes without getting caught. Slick shampoo bottles and even bars of soap can be used to slide around the clitoris during a bath.

Investing in a great sex toy to use in the bath is probably your best bet, but if you’re in a pinch, look around – you probably have something you can use. Just steer clear of razors of any kind (ouch!) and make sure you have another toothbrush on hand you can use if you end up getting yours “dirty.” In fact, buying a brand new one from the store so you can distinguish between the two is probably a really good idea.

8 Handjob Techniques That Will Turn His Knees To Jelly

By

A handjob can be even more satisfying than a blowjob for a guy if you do it the right way. Check out these handjob moves that will leave your lover breathless!

1. Involve His Balls

Use any stroke that involves just one hand in combination with strokes that involve pulling, tugging, holding, cupping and lightly massaging your partner’s scrotum.

2. Start The Fire

Start at the base and pull gently upward while twisting (but not too hard) as if you were trying to start a fire with a stick of wood.

3. Thumb Massage

Hold your partner’s penis firmly in both hands and use your thumbs only to massage your partner’s shaft and head. You can do this in strokes or circles, depending on what your partner likes best.

4. Stimulate The P-Spot

Utilize the above technique (one-handed stroke combined with the other hand massaging another area) on the perineum. This will create delightful sensations between his “G-spot” and his penis. This move will bring your partner to orgasm quickly and it is a great move to use while he finishes off. If your partner enjoys this move, you can use it as the core of your genital massage.

5. Squeeze The Lemon

With a well lubed hand, cup your hand on top of his penis head and twist like you were squeezing a lemon on an old fashioned juicer.

6. Play With His Foreskin If He’s Uncircumcised

If your partner is uncircumcised, have fun with his foreskin. Massage it, pull it gently and twist it around to create a variety of sensations. Ask him to play with it in front of you so you can see what he likes to do with it.

7. Side To Side

While sitting in front of him on the bed – put both of your hands out as if you are going to “clap” and place one on each side of his penis – this side to side flat palmed action will be a different sensation and allows you both full view of his rock hard penis. It’s different for him from the way he would normally pleasure himself with his own hand.

8. Dry Massage

For a different approach, try a dry massage. Your partner may find this uncomfortable, however, especially if the skin around his penis is very tight and does not allow for much movement. This only works with light touches. When stroking his penis in a dry massage, just hold the skin tight enough so when you move your hand up and down the skin does not move but rather the inside of the penis moves. Men don’t always have the luxury of having lube on hand when they masturbate and they do just fine with a dry jerk off. It just takes a gentler touch.