Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for oral sex

How To Lick Her Clitoris And Make Her WET!

By

Oral sex can be divine for a woman. If you do it just right, she’ll be dripping on the sheets when you’re done.

Men are incredibly penis-centric beings. They love to look at it, touch it, talk about it, and some men even name it! However, women are not as into your penis as you are. In fact, they tend to orgasm significantly more often when it’s not your penis doing the job. The vaginal wall has very little in the way of nerves. It’s the clitoris, which is on the outside, that makes the O-face happen. That is, if you treat it right.

Don’t Go Straight For The Clitoris!

Do not just dive right in. It will only irritate her. I know you’re thinking, “But it feels so awesome every single time someone touches my penis, so how can it not be the same for chicks’ clits?” The clitoris and the penis are extremely similar in shape and function, but there are some differences. Her pleasure organ is largely internal, and not as weathered as your well-beaten member, so it is quite a bit more sensitive.

She Gets Erect Too, You Know

When she is in a neutral state, the head of her clitoris is exposed. The head is the home to over 8,000 nerve endings, which is why it is so much better than your penis is at having orgasms, but also why your fingers feel like cheese graters on her under-stimulated organ.

However, when the woman is aroused, the erectile tissues fill with blood, and the clitoris becomes erect (sound familiar?) In its erect state, the head slides under the clitoral hood where it is protected and coated with sebum produced in her body. Meaning, she gets wet.

Wetter Is Better

The importance of wetness can never be over stated. Without it, you shouldn’t even bother to get an erection, because she’s not going to let you touch her with it. So how can you achieve that desired state? Well, you could immediately run to your trusty water-based, mango flavored lube, dump it in your hand, smear it all over her vulva, and jam your penis in there, or you could do it the way she likes it.

That means foreplay. A sweet kisses, nipple biting, and everything in between is what she really needs. If you can provide her with ample stimulation before you even go near her clitoris, it will significantly cut down on the awkward prodding that takes place when you try to go in cold.

Lick Slowly And Softly

Start out by licking slowly and softly, as though you were enjoying a delicious treat – because you are! You may think that as soon as you put your tongue down there she’s going to explode, but she’s going to need plenty of time to build up an orgasm. So don’t rush it!

Lick her clitoris every few times, in between licking the rest of her vulva as well. Yeah, the clitoris is where it’s at, but her labia and vaginal opening have super sensitive nerves that feel divine when you run your tongue over them. Do all of this and she’ll be dripping by the time you’re done!

Don’t Forget About The Rest Of Her Body Too!

Women are walking erogenous zones. They don’t have just the one sex organ that is the epicenter of awesomness. A woman’s whole body is covered in little spots that get them hot. Where those exact spots varies from woman to woman, and day to day. But figuring out where they are is all part of the fun.

Oral Sex: How To Handle Semen During A Blowjob

By

Oral sex for a guy will hopefully end in ejaculation – but when it does, what the heck are you supposed to do with his semen?

Communicate With Your Partner

This may single-handedly be THE biggest reason for communication! We all know that men ejaculate when they experience an orgasm and if they experience an orgasm during fellatio, then it is likely that the ejaculate will end up in your mouth. Depending on your preferences, this may or may not be a turn on for you, you may be indifferent to it, or the very idea may repulse you and send you running for the porcelain throne.

Swallowing

The easiest way to dispose of semen during oral sex is to swallow it. But if the idea just doesn’t do anything for you (or if it makes your stomach turn) read on for some different ways to handle his semen – and still make it sexy.

Spitting In A Towel

So you’re okay with it in your mouth, but actually getting it down? Not happening. Keep a towel nearby and when he’s done, discreetly spit his semen in it. You can also keep a glass of water or another drink nearby to swish out your mouth. This also works well if he likes to kiss you afterwards but doesn’t like the taste of his own spunk.

Finish Him Off With A Handjob Instead

This technique may sound less passionate or devoting than swallowing your partner’s ejaculate, but it doesn’t have to be. Enthusiasm makes all the difference in the world and as long as you continue to let him know that you are enjoying his orgasm (even though his orgasm is being finished with a hand instead of a mouth) and he may very well be so wrapped up in the pleasure that he doesn’t notice the difference.

Sound making or some dirty talk is of utmost importance here! You don’t have to get loud or wild but making some noises lets him know that you are getting off on him getting off and that will definitely enhance his orgasm! Verbally telling him how much it turns you on to see him cum might be just what he needs to hear to get him to finish strong as you watch.

Bad First Experiences With Oral Sex

A large number of women have had “BAD” first experiences with the first blowjob they ever gave, because they were either young and didn’t know what to expect, or some guy decided to not tell them when they were going to orgasm and they found themselves unexpectedly with a surprise mouth full of semen and that unpleasant first experience left them unwilling to ever try again.

Again, this is why communication and assurance are key factors to getting over an objectionable first experience and not letting it keep you from a very special and wonderful experience with your trusted partner.

Let Him Go “In” You

Guess where “else” is outside of your mouth?” You guessed it! Your warm, wet and waiting vagina. You can give your man the most wonderful blowjob (up to the climactic eruption) and when he says “NOW,” quickly remove your mouth and stick his penis deep into you, while letting your vagina provide that last few pumps to finish him off and capture every drop of his semen.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter where the semen goes during oral sex as long as both partners communicate before the fellatio session and are in agreement and as long as both partners stick to that agreement!

Oral Sex: Common Objections And How To Conquer Them

By

Oral sex is an incredible gift to give to a woman, but if she has some reservations about it, it’s not going to be enjoyable. Here’s how to get over those obstacles.

Sixty-Nine Is Uncomfortable And Awkward

You aren’t alone. Depending on the angle that you two choose to 69 in, it can be pleasurable or a pain. The easiest way to get around this dilemma is to lie down next to each other on your sides, which will help to minimize any issues with height differences or who holds the other person’s weight. But sixty-nine really isn’t the optimal position for oral sex for either partner. Use it as an introduction or during foreplay, but not the main event. It’s just too hard for most women to focus on giving you pleasure and having enough in-their-head time to get to orgasm themselves.

She Says She’s Not in the Mood

It’s pretty common for a woman to feel like she’s being held back from really enjoying herself, especially if she’s being given oral sex by a guy for the first time. To reduce some of the pressure, try turning off the lights or using really low lights (such as candles) to help her feel more sexy and able to let go.

It Takes Her a Long Time To Orgasm So She Chafes

If you know that you’re going to be down there for a long while, avoid the chafing issues (both of her bits and yours) by using some lube. Make it even more pleasurable by trying out different kinds of flavored lubes, but make sure to ask her a few days after if she liked it, because some flavored lubes use so much sugar in them for flavoring that it can affect the delicate balance of her nether regions negatively (meaning: they can give her a yeast infection).

She Won’t Let Me Make Her Orgasm and I’m Getting Frustrated

You want to see this as your partner’s problem, but really, it’s not. This is a communication issue, not one of her not wanting to orgasm under your tender loving care. Think back to what she’s said regarding her orgasms in the past. Does she prefer a certain position, or does she have problems getting to climax with just your tongue? Does she use a vibrator while masturbating on her own? Has anyone ever made her orgasm?

Think about the answers to those questions. If you don’t know, it’s time to ask. Then, it’s time to invest some serious energy into figuring out what the issue is, without pressuring her so much that she’s not interested in being with you anymore.

She Says She’s Never Had an Orgasm With Oral Sex

This is entirely possible. Either she hasn’t been comfortable enough with her other partner(s) to really let go and feel the pleasure they’ve given her, or maybe they just didn’t have the necessary skills to make her climax. Either way, there’s nothing wrong with her. If anything, you want to take her admission as a challenge! Plus, after reading through this entire series and working through all of the steps one by one with your partner, if you really listen to her and her body language, it’s unlikely she’ll ever be able to say again that oral sex doesn’t make her orgasm.

She Doesn’t Want To Wake the Neighbors

There are some women who definitely get loud when they have an orgasm, especially one with g-spot stimulation. If she’s louder than your average gal, or if the walls are especially thin, you have a couple of options:

  • Put some music on. Not only will it create a bit of ambiance, but it’ll mask some of the louder sounds your gal might make
  • If your bed is the culprit (i.e. squeaky bedsprings) try another position or location to see if it helps with the sound issue;
  • Soundproof your room a bit, by either covering the walls with heavy blankets (think of them as mood enhancers), or using old egg cartons covered up by fabric. Both will trap another layer of air and thus, sound leaving you to be louder than normal without too many worries.
  • Give your partner something to put her in mouth to muffle her screaming, although make sure that you do this when her arms are free so she can remove it if it happens to cover her nose or mouth in the throes of passion.
  • Change locations. Sometimes, there’s no other way than to find somewhere secluded and out of the way to avoid any issues with noise. Just make sure that you won’t be interrupted, and won’t be upsetting anyone nearby before going for it.

She’s Worried She Doesn’t Taste or Smell Right

There are women who normally have a unique smell or taste to them perhaps because of their diet or medications and then there are women who smell, er, not quite right because they have some sort of infection. If your partner is worried that something’s off about her nether regions, take note. She’s aware of her sexual health more than anyone, so she may be telling you that there’s something wrong without actually coming out and saying it.

Then again, many women are worried about how they smell or taste because someone has put it into their head that there’s something wrong with their body, when really they were merely seeing the normal fluctuations in their body chemistry throughout the month. Or, the person giving them oral sex wasn’t familiar with their natural aroma, and made a not-so-positive comment that stuck with her. As an aside, if you remember from earlier in today’s reading, I fell into the latter category because of my first sexual experience, and it took me many years to get over it. Eventually, I learned that how I smelled was normal great even! – but I was self-conscious about oral sex because of that comment for way too long.

So your first task is to find out, gently, which category your gal falls into. Is she worried about infection, had a bad experience, or is merely cautious? The easiest way to find out is to ask, but if that’s too difficult, then try starting your oral sex escapades with a bath or shower. If she’s still smelling or tasting ‘off’, it may be that her cycle is near, or she may have an infection. If you suspect an infection, suggest the two of you go in, together, to get tested for STD’s. That way, if the doctor finds out it’s just a yeast infection, you can both get treated so that you don’t pass it back and forth without killing it altogether.

If she smells amazing to you however, then you can safely assume she’s being self-conscious. So what can you do in this situation?

Tell your partner how much you love the way they smell, taste, feel even when you aren’t in the bedroom. If it makes her feel better, start oral sex off with a bath or shower, or use a flavored or scented dental dam to alleviate her fears. Slowly, she’ll learn that her body is amazing, self-cleaning, and will regulate itself on its own. And hopefully, she’ll learn to love her taste and smell as much as you do so much so that she doesn’t mind kissing you after you’ve gone down on her. If however after a few months of regular input, and trying out some of the suggestions made in the next section, if she’s still worried about her freshness and you aren’t noticing any issues, there may be deeper seated issues that might be better served by the help of a therapist or doctor to work through.

She’s Lonely When I’m Going Down On Her

There’s an inherent disconnect when giving someone oral sex; it’s challenging to make eye contact while buried deep between her legs, and you really need to concentrate on what you’re doing and how she’s reacting to make it all come together. So although it’s intense by definition, some women find that cunnilingus creates an emotional wedge.

When this is a concern, the easiest way to rectify it is to touch her more. Instead of placing yourself right in between her legs, straddle one instead and use it to rub your penis on she’ll quickly feel just how aroused you going down on her makes you. Touch her with your free hand whenever you can. Make eye contact every few licks to see how she’s doing, or take a tiny breather to tell her how amazing she looks.

How To Give A Blowjob To An Uncircumcised Man

By

Oral sex is the same from guy to guy, right? Wrong! If he’s uncircumcised, you need to have a few more tricks up your sleeve. It’s not that different (if you’ve never done it before, you’re still likely to rock the guy’s world, even if you don’t know what you’re doing). However, if you want to really be a pro at giving head, here’s what to do if he’s uncut.

Have A Shower First

Of course, having your man shower before oral sex is a pretty good idea whether he’s circumcised or not. However, if he’s uncut, you’re really going to want him to wash up first. The reason for this is that in between the head of his penis (called the glans) and the foreskin, there can be build up called “smegma.” Yeah, awesome name for it, right? This smegma is a white, cheesy like substance that has an odor (again, awesome!). It’s not harmful to you or your partner if you give him a blowjob before he’s cleaned himself up, but unless you’re pretty kinky, you’re not going to like it a bit.

What you don’t want to do is go down on him and tell him his penis stinks and to go wash it before you continue. That’s a mood killer if there ever was one. Work a shower into your foreplay. Tell him you want to see him wet and naked, and that you want to soap his body all up. Wash his penis for him. Make sure you do it lovingly and erotically – this is still part of the foreplay. If you’re scrubbing like you’ve got to get a stain out, you’re going to turn him off and washing that hard really isn’t necessary. Slide his foreskin back gently and wash his glans and his shaft. If his foreskin is slid back and stretched out, you should be able to clean it easily.

Be Gentle!

A circumcised man has about 10-20,000 less nerve endings than an uncircumcised male in the head of the penis. In a circumcised male, the glans (which is supposed to be wet, soft and tender like a clitoris) rubs up against underwear and clothing. It develops a tough outer skin, but has become very desensitized. Women who give head to circumcised men likely have to work a lot harder, because once a man is cut, those sensitive, orgasmic nerve endings are GONE!

So if your guy is lucky enough to still have those, you’re going to want to be very gentle. Something that might really get a cut guy off might hurt like hell for a sensitive uncircumcised fella! If in doubt, always ask. Don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, does this feel good? Are you enjoying this? What would you like better?”

Insert The Tip Of Your Tongue Underneath The Foreskin

Take your tongue and form it into a somewhat soft point. Stick it underneath the foreskin, against the head of his penis. Run it around in a circle, swishing your tongue over his entire glans, still while keeping it under the foreskin. This oral sex technique is incredible for him because not only does he get to feel your tongue on his sensitive glans, he also gets to feel it on the underside of his foreskin, where there are many more pleasurable nerve endings.

Use Lube!

An uncircumcised male isn’t used to having any “dryness” down there. You may think that because you’re giving him a blowjob, it’s really not going to be “dry” at all – which is true if you can produce enough saliva. When going down on an uncut guy, think “wetter is better.” If you can’t produce enough spit, consider using a flavored lube to keep things wet enough and going smoothly.

When Using A Condom

If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, or just want to have safer oral sex, consider using a condom. Condoms can reduce the sensitivity a man feels during oral sex, so you need to be careful when you go to put it on. Make sure that he’s erect first (duh – a condom won’t go on if he’s not!) and that his foreskin is slid completely back, exposing the head of his glans. Hold the foreskin down at the base of his penis with one hand while you put on the condom with the other.

This ensures that the condom covers the actual sensitive part of his penis instead of covering the foreskin. If the condom is covering the foreskin and the foreskin is covering the head of his penis, how is he supposed to feel anything?

What Exactly Is The “Vulva?”

By

Sex tips are all about what to do, right? Wrong! You’d be surprised at how many sex tips guys have read and still don’t know what a “vulva” is – do you?

Most Guys Don’t Know What It Is  – And Why It’s Different From The Vagina

An unfortunate amount of men are grossly uninformed about the vulva. Everyone knows about the vagina – that’s where the penis goes. When I say the word “clitoris,” there are some of you high five-ing each other going, “Hell, yeah, I know about the clit!” However, upon hearing “vulva,” most are either scratching their heads or answering something like, “It’s, you know, down there.” Well, it’s your lucky day. I’m going to explain what it is, and what exactly is “down there.”

The first thing that may surprise you is that the vulva is not a thing. It’s all the things. Contained in the vulva are the mons veneris, labia majora, the urethra, the clitoris, the vaginal opening, and the perineum. There are some other things in there, but for our purposes we’ll focus on just these.

Mons Veneris

The Mons Veneris is more commonly referred to as the Mound of Venus – the fatty tissue over the pubic bone. It is most easily distinguished by the fact that it is where the bush is. Or, if she is waxed, where the bush would be.

Labia Majora

Labia majora literally means “big lips.” I hope you are able to imagine where I’m going with this. They are the two folds that protect all the good stuff underneath. There is usually hair growing on them. However, again, in this day and age do not be shocked if that area is bare. Plus, it’s easier to see if labia majora are turning red. If they are, it means she’s turned on.

The Urethra

The little hole where the pee comes out. Don’t put your penis in there.

The Clitoris

If you do not know about the clitoris, you are in trouble, pal. This is the one and only place you can stimulate that will virtually guarantee an orgasm. It is covered with a thing called the “clitoral hood,” because it’s a hood – over the clitoris. Right up under there is the epicenter of nerve endings. If you can get your tongue, finger, or head of your penis on that spot, you have struck gold. Your woman will thank you dearly.

Vaginal Opening

Otherwise known to you as “Jackpot!” It is located below the urethra, and this is the place you can put your penis.

Perinium

The Perinium is a little known area of nerve endings. It is located between the vagina and the anus. You call yours a chode. If you lick that spot lightly, she’ll get a pleasant shock.

So, unless you’re referring to her actual vagina (you know, the Jackpot), then when you say “vagina,” you’re really talking about the vulva.