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First Time Oral Sex: What You Need To Know

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Oral sex can be nerve wracking, especially if you haven’t tried it before. Here’s how to get started if you’ve never gone “down there” before.

Question: I’ve yet to go down on my girlfriend, and I’m really not sure where to start. I’m a bit nervous, but not scared just eager to get started. What do you suggest for a first-timer like me?

His First Time

  • Check to make sure that she’s really excited before oral sex starts.
  • If you think you’re going too fast, you probably are. Remind yourself often to slow things down a bit, and take your time. There’s no rush.
  • Focus on being gentle and creating rhythmic pressure. Ignore whatever your friends have told you, or anything pornography-related that you’ve watched or read. Having said that, being gentle doesn’t mean not engaged or floppy; you still want to be firm and focused, just not so aggressive and eager that you hurt your partner.
  • Ignore her clitoris for the first little bit. There will be lots of time to get there, but for now explore the rest of her while she’s getting excited.
  • Follow a set series of licks to see what she likes and what she responds too. Feel free to ask her what feels good, but don’t ask her so many questions that she can’t get lost in the moment either.
  • Share with her how much you’re enjoying going down on her!
  • Don’t worry about the g-spot or any fancy handwork in the beginning.
  • Feel what works and what doesn’t for both of you. Let yourself find a rhythm and get lost in it. Let your body do what feels right, and don’t over think it.
  • Make her pleasure your first priority, not her orgasm. Focus on the fun, not just the end result. If you’re enjoying yourself, she will too.

The first few times she may not have an orgasm when you go down on her and that’s okay. Just enjoy the process, learn more about each other sexually, and as time progresses it’ll happen eventually.

Her First Time

Question: My guy wants to go down on me, and I don’t really know what to think. No one has ever given me an orgasm before, although I have faked it a few times. I am able to orgasm during masturbation, just not with a partner. He says that he’ll make me orgasm when he goes down on me, and I like the idea of that. Still, I’m nervous and scared that he might not like how I taste or smell, and that I won’t be able to orgasm with him either no matter how hard he tries. What should I do?

Your boyfriend sounds like he’s got the right mindset, and he’s already figured out that he’s more likely to give you an orgasm using his tongue than with sexual intercourse. Your clitoris is where the action is at, and why you’re able to consistently give yourself an orgasm via masturbation too. Sex in and of itself rarely gives a woman an orgasm, unless she’s found a great angle that stimulates her clitoris from the outside and/or inside. Obviously you already know what rhythm and pressure works for you to reach climax, so it’s just a matter of time before your boyfriend finds the same thing.

As well, you’re eager and interested, even if you have some residual trepidations and that’s okay. You can orgasm with masturbation, so that means there’s a good chance you can with oral sex too. Here’s what I recommend for your first few forays with your boyfriend:

  • Try and make your focus about having fun and the pleasure your boyfriend wants to give you. Ignore whether or not you orgasm; it’s not the end result you’re looking for the first few times out.
  • Let your boyfriend get excited about giving you oral sex, and share with him about your focus too that you want it to be fun and pleasurable, and that you want to just learn how to enjoy the experience rather than try to climax right away. You both need to be on the same page for this to work.
  • Take lots of time for foreplay before you start receiving oral sex. Spend more time than normal getting prepped, excited and in the mood. What gets you aroused when you masturbate? Feel free to use those things too.
  • If when you masturbate a dildo or other toy is used, ask your boyfriend if he’d be willing to use it on you too.
  • Show your boyfriend what feels good and what doesn’t. Let him see how you masturbate, what rhythm you enjoy, what types of pressure work for you, and when. Now isn’t the time to be shy, but rather, share what works.
  • If your boyfriend does something you like tell him! Give him lots of positive reinforcement, and give him ideas when something doesn’t feel quite right. It might be that you aren’t quite excited enough for whatever it was he tried, so he can try it again later. Whatever you do, be sure to tell him he’s doing great and appreciate him for his efforts.
  • Baths, candles, sensual massages, lubrication and creating a romantic atmosphere will all help you relax and feel clean, sexy and ready for action.
  • Do whatever you need to get in the same head space as when you masturbate. How do you relax then and let go? What distracts you? Keep an eye on it all the next time you play with yourself, and then use those same techniques when your boyfriend is around too.

How To Make Your Girl Ejaculate During Sex – 7 Explosive Steps To Heavenly Orgasmic Pleasures Exposed!

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Squirting is real alright – and it’s not just pee. Here’s how to turn your lover into a squirting queen!

This might be new to you but contrary to popular belief, women do experience the release of ejaculation just like guys do. Kudos to the men who can make their ladies “gush” and attain the ultimate in sexual ecstasy! For those who want their women to climax with ejaculation during your intimate moments with her, the following steps will come in handy!

More Foreplay Builds Up More Fluid

Make the foreplay hot and steamy for her. Start out with small bites on her ear lobes and along the contours of her neck, followed by smooth and tender sucking on her nipples. Give light touches along her torso with your fingertips. Do these until you come into contact with the inner part of her thighs. Let her be the one to guide you once she is prepared to take the exploration to another level.

Oral Sex Will Get Her Primed

Start off with a few easy oral sex techniques. You can begin by sliding your tongue along the vulva to her clitoris and along the borders of her vagina. The upward and downward motion of your tongue should be done repeatedly and unhurriedly. Use the broad part of your tongue for best results.

Touch Her Lightly

Allow the tip of your tongue to travel along her labia minora. To make this more pleasurable for her, let your tongue slide along this minute mound together with some momentary sucking.

Next Stop Is The Clitoris!

Tenderly suck on her clitoris. You can move your tongue in various directions. Make your hands busy at the same time. Gently caress her breasts and have the tips of your fingers give light touches on her nipples and on the most sensitive spots of her body.

Roll That Tongue!

Curl your tongue into a tube-like shape and insert it into her as gently as you can. This step may be a little tricky especially for first-timers, but with enough practice, you can make her go wild.

The Power Of Fingering

Insert two fingers into her vagina with your palm facing upward. Find her G-spot – a mound of flesh inside her vagina, about one to two inches in size. Lightly touch and add pressure on the G-spot using your fingertips. You will feel this flesh swelling up and become more rigid as you continue to stimulate it.

The Wildest, WETTEST Orgasm She’s Ever Had!

At this point, she will most likely reach the peak of sexual excitement and be able to experience the “gush” of ejaculation. However, before she ejaculates, she may have a tingling urge to urinate. Assure her that it perfectly safe for her to let go. Act natural and make her feel that you are totally at ease with her because this way, the sexual encounter becomes a lot more special. And with this, she will surely ask for more!

16 Oral Sex (And Other) Facts You Didn’t Know!

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Oral sex isn’t always just what meets the eye (or mouth) – did you know these surprising oral – and other sex facts?

For those of you who find quick tips appealing without the need to read over in detail a large amount of information, peek through these interesting leaps in science and society for some useable suggestions and facts about oral sex.

Flossing And Brushing Increases Risk

Risk of what, you ask? The risk of contracting a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD), unfortunately. Brushing and flossing if done right may open miniscule cuts, expose more surfaces, and increase the chances of bleeding. So instead of doing your nightly hygiene routine before going down, just swish some mouthwash and leave the full cleaning until a few hours after you’re finished.

Saliva May Protect Against Some STD’s

Swedish researchers discovered after following several dozen HIV-positive patients and their lovers, that thirteen of the study’s participants developed antibodies in their saliva that protected them against their partner’s disease. Now, that doesn’t mean that HIV cannot be contracted through oral sex, but it does show promise with determining what does protect people from the disease, and how to lower one’s risks to contracting it.

Women Just As Hot To Trot As Men

There is a myth circulating that states women take approximately twenty minutes to get aroused. Interestingly, a study performed at McGill University found that women are aroused just as fast as men are (on average) in about 11 to 12 minutes.

Don’t Dismiss Playing With Her Breasts

Masters and Johnson discovered that one percent of the women they tested were able to orgasm just from having their breasts and nipples played with.

Surgery Might Be Moot

In North America, there’s a new surgery sold to women who feel that their Labia are too big, long, or droopy. The procedure, called a labiaplasty, is mainly used with women who feel that the size of their labia prevents them from achieving a positive sex life. Yet in Uganda, women take a mixture of herbs and apply them to their Labia to make them plumper and longer, believing that their male partners find this attractive.

The Feet Have It

The next time you want to get your partner in the mood, try an old reflexology tactic that is sure to get her lower half raring to go: find the soft bit right under the ankle bone on her heel, and stroke it with a firm grasp in small circles.

Day Fifteen Is the Sweet Spot

Depending on the woman, some find that the middle of their cycle is the hottest and most conducive to some really exciting action. The next time she tells you it’s that time of the month, make a note on your calendar for two weeks after. Within a day or two of that mark, her body might be specially primed for sensual touch. Yet it’s the few days just before menstruation and during that women are most likely to orgasm, as the increase in blood flow in the genital region allows for better lubrication and sensitivity, thus increasing their pleasure quotient.

Coffee As a Sexual Motivator

A recent study found that a jolt of caffeine helped rats become more sexually motivated. One more reason to make sure you and your partner get your daily dose, especially if you’re a fan of the wake up romp.

Sexual Desire Drops After Four Years

Not surprisingly, a team of German biologists found that women desire sex less once they are in a committed, long term relationship. The longer they were together it seemed, the more their libido dropped; after four years, half of the women questioned wanted sex less than their partners did.

Fantasy Helps Satisfy

The more a woman fantasizes say researchers, the more satisfied she is with her sex life. Increase her pleasure by asking her to tell you about her favorite sexual fantasies while you’re going down on her, and see what happens.

The Pill As A Pill

The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that women who come off the Pill may experience lower levels of arousal for up to a year after stopping the medication. Researchers think that it may have to do with a protein called SHBG, which stops testosterone from forming a building block to sexual arousal for both men and women. If you suspect coming off the Pill as the reason why your lady isn’t as excited as normal, try feeding her bananas, avocados, figs and/or pine nuts, all which have shown to (safely) increase testosterone without any of nasty side effects that testosterone in a bottle might harbor.

How Long Does It Last?

If it takes you and your partner about ten minutes to move from foreplay to sex, you aren’t alone. The Journal of Sex Research found that the average amount of time couples spend on foreplay is 11 to 13 minutes per session.

She’s Filled With Nerves

The tip of a woman’s clitoris holds around eight thousand nerve endings more than any other part of the human body. In contrast, the head of a man’s penis only has about four thousand.

She Comes Last

During sex, more than seventy-five percent of men have an orgasm during sex, whereas women climax all of the time closer to thirty percent. That’s why giving your partner oral helps to increase those odds, because you know she’s been taken care of, first.

The Smells That Arouse

Women are most attracted to men whose breath smells like peppermint, whereas men find the combination of pumpkin and lavender on a woman to be the most arousing.

Oral Sex As A Medical Prescription

In 1926, via Theodore van de Velde’s book, Ideal Marriage, cunnilingus was prescribed as the first ‘legitimate’ method to ensure a woman’s adequate lubrication prior to intercourse.

4 Oral Sex Rules You MUST Follow!

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Oral sex isn’t just something you can “stick your face down there and do.” As with most things, there are a few things you need to follow when it comes to oral sex. If you don’t, you will most likely not be successful at pleasing your woman!

Cultivate A Sense Of Humor

Sex is one of the funniest things out there, and not just because of the weird sounds and strange interests we cultivate. Think about it: both gender’s genitalia are forged from the same embryonic tissue, yet how those bits and pieces become aroused and ready for sex are incredibly different. As you’ll learn later in this series, it normally takes men a considerably shorter amount of time to go from arousal to climax than a woman, leaving her, literally, hanging at the end of an encounter.

Plus, after orgasm both men and women have something called oxytocin floating around in their system. Known as the ‘cuddle hormone’, it makes many men unable to do much more than sleep after a lively bout of sex, whereas women want to bond, cuddle and coo with their partners. Sure, it may lead to a lot of heartache between partners, but you can’t deny that how it all works is really quite humorous.

Understand Where The Action Is

If you want to make your partner orgasm, focus on her clitoris. With more than double the amount of nerve endings as compared to the penis, the ability to give a woman multiple orgasms, and a purpose of nothing more than to please, the clitoris offers more than the vagina ever can.

The clitoris is a fantastic feat of divine engineering. With more than eighteen visible and tucked away parts, it’s the main event when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually. (Don’t worry, we’ll detail all of its aspects throughout this eBook). All in all, the clitoris is less like a ‘button’ and more like a complex network of interconnected circuits, all waiting to be stroked and explored properly for the ultimate of satisfaction.

Tongue Trumps Penis

Most men are familiar with Ron Jeremy, the bearded porn star known for his large penis and even bigger personality. The guy is paid to do it, and does it well, so it’s no surprise that he’s been quoted as saying, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.” Even noted sex researchers such as Shere Hite of the Hite Report On Sexuality have commented that penetrative intercourse doesn’t seem to offer women the opportunity to orgasm all of the time. Which makes sense when you think about it, as a woman’s clitoris is positioned just a little bit too high for it to be rubbed the right way during most sex acts.

Need more proof? A study quoted in the book Sex: A Man’s Guide, found that women in long term, monogamous relationships found intercourse satisfying only sixty-eight percent of the time, whereas cunnilingus pleased them eight-two percent of the time. As well, sex only gave them an orgasm during a quarter of their sexual escapades with their partners, but oral sex brought them to climax almost every time (81%).

Learn What Works, Fix What Doesn’t (The Most Important One)

Think you know all there is to know already about oral sex? Many women have time and time again said that their male partners were too harsh, eager, slow, not open to suggestion, or lost focus at critical times.

So most men, in their efforts to please their partner, go looking for information from the most available of sources: pornography, magazines, friends and/or books. But the issue is that most of these sources have the information wrong – not that they are trying to mislead you, but rather, they just don’t know the mechanics of a woman’s orgasm well enough to say, “Oral sex is best!” and “Do it this way to ensure an orgasm!” Most information sources will only give you tidbits, part of the picture, or don’t explain why you’re doing what you’re doing.

That’s why this is one of the few rules that shouldn’t be broken when it comes to oral sex: learn what works for your gal, take note of it, use if often, and play around to see if there’s something new that you may have missed. Discard what doesn’t work, or what doesn’t get her revving, and you’ll be that much closer to a routine that guarantees success.

Q&A: I Don’t Like Giving A Blowjob – Do I Have To?

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A blowjob is an amazing gift that you can give to a man – it’s not only an act of pure submission to your partner’s pleasure, but it’s also something that feels totally incredible to him if you do it right. But not every girl likes giving head – some girls absolutely HATE doing it! Is a blowjob something you have to do for a guy to please him, or can you keep him sexually satisfied without oral sex?

When I was still dating my ex, every time we had sex he always tried to pressure me into giving him a blowjob. The first time I tried it, I almost gagged because of the taste. He kept begging me to do it and I would keep telling him no. I know for a fact that I won’t be able to avoid it if I become sexually involved in my next relationship. So my question is, how can I still give my future partner the pleasure he deserves without having to do what I don’t like?

–YouTube Viewer

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You Never Have To Do Anything You Don’t Want To Do

When it comes to sex, even if you’re in a relationship, know that you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t ever let someone pressure or force you into doing something that you’re not on board with – because frankly, that’s rape. If you don’t like something sexually, simply be honest with your partner and don’t do it. Don’t let them use the “If you love me, you’ll do it” line on you because if they love and care about you, they’ll be willing to compromise with you to find something else that feels good to them but that you don’t absolutely despise.

Do Most Women Enjoy Giving A Blowjob?

Sexual preferences are so diverse between people that it’s really unfair for you to try to compare yourself to other women and what they like or don’t like. The truth is, there are a lot of girls that LOVE giving their partners a blowjob. For them, sex just isn’t complete without giving their partner oral sex first. Then again, there are also lots of other girls who – like you – can’t stand it. It doesn’t turn them on and in many cases, it actually grosses them out. The same goes for guys – some guys are into oral sex and others aren’t. There’s no set rule on whether you have to enjoy giving your lover a blowjob to be “normal” or “like other women.”

Why Do Some Girls Not Like Performing Fellatio?

There are a number of reasons why some women don’t like performing fellatio on their partners, all of which are very valid reasons for not wanting to give a blowjob:

  • Some women have a stronger gag reflex than others. For these women, it’s not even about deep throating – they’ll gag before their partner’s penis even touches the back of their throat.
  • They’re afraid of having to swallow their partner’s semen.
  • The taste or texture of semen can make a woman gag or vomit.

How To Make Giving Oral Sex Better

If you don’t like giving a blowjob but want to try to make it better for yourself so that you can give the gift of oral sex to the person you care about, there are several things you can do to make giving head a little easier:

  • Use a condom to keep the semen from getting in your mouth when your lover ejaculates. A flavored condom is an even better choice if you have issues with the taste of your partner’s penis in general.
  • Don’t try to deep throat – this WILL set off your gag reflex. Instead, use your hand at the base of your partner’s penis to stroke his shaft, and keep only the head of his penis in your mouth.
  • If not using a condom, ask for a fair warning before he ejaculates. There should be plenty of time for him to pull out of your mouth and ejaculate into a towel or a tissue.
  • Finish your lover off with a great handjob if you don’t want to swallow.
  • If you want to try swallowing but the taste grosses you out, there are many things you can do to improve the taste of his semen. Eliminate smoking, drinking and eating pungent foods like garlic and onions. Instead, substitute sweeter foods like pineapple (which can work wonders), strawberries and supplement with lots of water. This won’t improve the texture of his semen, but it will make it taste sweeter to you and a lot less bitter.