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You are here: Home / Archives for oral sex

The Lazy Man’s Guide to Great Sex

By leejenkins

Everyone wants great sex, but because of a busy lifestyle that include kids, work, bills and a list of other everyday stresses we have to deal with, not everyone has the time or energy to give 100% during their lovemaking sessions.

Sometimes, we want to have mind blowing sex, but want to get it over with sooner than later, so we can get some sleep and get up for work the next morning!

Well, I’m here to tell you that you can have your cake and eat it too 🙂

The tips & techniques I’m about to show you are simple and energy-efficient. They’re great to use when you’re feeling tired, lack the physical stamina to do the karma sutra sex positions, don’t have the time to engage in all-night honeymoon-like sex, and most importantly, they are EFFECTIVE.

You’ll learn:

  • The best sex position for simultaneous orgasms
  • The best way to finger a girl
  • 1 simple ingredient you can add to oral sex that will give her goose bumps

Best Sex Position

Do you know what the best sex position is for giving you and your partner the feelings of intimacy? And at the same time, increasing your changes of simultaneous orgasms?

Before I share that with you, let me share something with you…

In many sex surveys, one of the most favorite sex position chosen by women is the missionary position.

At first I was a bit surprised to hear this; after all, there are other positions that can allow for greater feelings of physical pleasure. But after hearing the reason why women like this position, I can understand.

Here’s why: Women like the missionary position because of the face-to-face contact it provides. In other words, they liked the feeling of intimacy…

Even though this position isn’t ideal for female orgasms, it’s still a favorite among women.

Well, I’m sure you know exactly how to do the missionary mission, so I’m not going to teach you that 😛

But, the key idea here is this feeling of “Intimacy”.

Now, how can we better grasp this concept of “intimacy”? In other words, how can we increase the levels of intimacy, at the same time, increase the chances of female orgasms?

Enter the C.A.T

The Coital Alignment Technique (or CAT for short), is by far the best position for female orgasms.

Why?

Because this position is designed to maximize clitoral stimulation during intercourse…something that most other sex positions can’t!

The CAT position looks like the regular missionary position, but with a slight adjustment.

The main difference is that the male will penetrate from a higher angle (compared to the standard missionary position). And instead of thrusting in and out, the movement is more of a rocking or rubbing action.

Why The CAT Position Works

A woman can have an orgasm quickly and easily because the CAT position allows a woman’s clitoris to be stimulated. The stimulation from the base of the penis & pubic bone on the clitoris, combined with the rocking/rubbing action of the pelvis will allow a woman to reach orgasm. But it doesn’t end here… It’s a great sex position for men too. The woman’s legs are closer together, making the vagina feel “tighter”.

WARNING: The feeling of tightness might make men orgasm quicker than normal!

Combining the enhanced clitoral stimulation, tighter feel of the vagina, and face-to-face, body-pressed-on-body intimacy…achieving orgasms at the same time has never been easier!

How To Do The Coital Alignment Technique

Step 1: To get in the CAT position, slide your body 2-4 inches forward from the typical missionary position so that your pelvis is directly over hers.

Step 2: Your body should fall flat on hers (make sure that you support your body enough so you don’t crush her!).

Step 3: Both of your spines should be straight, and your bodies should be parallel to each other.

Step 4: You can be in between her legs, with her ankles wrapped around your calves. However, I’ve found from my experience that if she keeps her legs close together and you place your legs OUTSIDE of hers, it will produce a better response.

Step 5: Instead of thrusting in and out hard and fast like you would in the regular missionary position, what you’ll do is slowly and gently rock your hips. The base of your penis and your pubic bone will naturally rub up against her clitoris. Also, because you’re moving in a rhythmic rocking motion, you won’t be stimulate your penis as much compared to a thrusting motion, allowing you to last longer during sex.

Tip:

  • The pleasure will build gradually, and the both of you will have orgasms that are much more intense and intimate compared to the missionary position.
  • As you sense an orgasm coming (from her or yourself), don’t speed up! Just maintain the gentle rocking motion and the orgasm will come naturally instead of being chased.
  • When you feel the sensations getting stronger, don’t speed up the rocking movement! What you want to do is continue at the same pace, and allow the orgasm to overtake you. I know this sounds hard to understand, but trust me on this one.

Best Way To Finger A Girl

I’m going to teach you an awesome way to ‘finger a girl’. Actually, this technique doesn’t involve vaginal penetration, so technically, it’s not fingering. But no matter, it still works pretty well 😉

It’s actually a “technique” that women use all the time. When masturbating, some women will start from the position of using her first and fourth fingers to spread open her labia, while the middle finger strokes her clitoris.

You can modify this for your purposes by using one hand to hold her open and the other hand (middle finger only) to tease and rub on her clitoris.

In the woman-on-top sex position, she can incorporate this technique by stimulating her own clitoris while you’re making love.

Here’s how to do it:

Step 1: Locate her vaginal opening with the tips of your index and pointer fingers

Step 2: Slide your fingers directly upward along and between the inner labia of her vagina until you find her clitoris

Step 3: Spread your fingers apart so that your index finger is holding her left inner labia and your small fingers are holding her right labia away from the clitoris

Step 4: Your middle finger should be directly over the clitoris or within easy reach

Step 5: Begin light but circular strokes on and around the surface of the clitoris

Step 6: You can also occasionally dip your fingers down to the vaginal opening and stroke upward from the opening to the base of the clitoris

Step 7: Pay attention to how the clitoris responds to your touch As the clitoris becomes more stimulated and aroused it will swell and become harder and harder

Step 8: Use your sense of touch to determine the best angle, stroke, Pressure and timing for your partner. Let her responding clitoris be your guide.

Chew On This Before You Eat A Girl Out

You can enhance the pleasure of just about any oral sex technique with this one ingredient.

For this one to work, you’ll need to buy a box of Altoids Peppermints.

After you’ve eaten her out for a while, put one in your mouth and crunch it, letting the peppermint get on your tongue.

Go back and give her a few long slow licks covering her entire vulva. You want to spread the peppermint oil on her genitals…this will give her a cool tingling sensation.

Now, combine this with a “Cool Breath” by gently blowing onto her vulva.

Alternatively, you can try using cough drops, or even an ice cube to produce a similar effect.

BONUS TIP: When she’s performing oral sex on you, have her crunch down on an Altoid before hand. Trust me; you’ll like it just as much as she did!

Here’s What To Do Next

There you have it; now you know how to have time-pressed, great sex with little effort!  However, although these techniques are effective and efficient, you shouldn’t be using them all the time.  Especially when you DO have time to devote 100% to lovemaking and have all-night, “honeymoon-like” sex.

To get you started, I’ve compiled a PDF preview copy of The Female Orgasm Black Book.  It’s filled with TONNES of techniques (oral, manual stimulation, positions etc) just to give you a small taste of what my book is about.

Also, it has pictures!

To see them, visit the The Female Orgasm Black Book, tell me where you want your PDF preview copy, and I’ll send it to you.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: cunnilingus, female orgasm, fingering, have better sex, how to finger a girl, love, oral sex

eXtreme Sex Ed: I Feel Like I Have To Pee During Oral Sex!

By loveandsex

Feeling like you have to urinate during oral sex, or any other type of sexual activity, can be quite unnerving the first time it happens. If it happens often, you might become even more confused or be tempted to avoid oral sex all together.

Is it normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity? What can you do about it so you can enjoy your partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m relatively new at this whole sex thing. I grew up a pastor’s kid…. Anyways, I’m married now, and there are problems. I’ve got tons of questions but no one to ask. Questions that can’t be answered by books. Is it normal to feel like peeing when a person does oral on you? I kind of squirm, cause it feels like I want to pee, and I would be mortified if that happened. So I avoid it all together, which is a shame cause I’d like to know how it truly feels…

–Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPq3_2ADKwI[/youtube]

The Whole Package

Your genitals actually come in a whole package. The muscles, nerve endings and organs all work together to help you to urinate, achieve orgasm and have sexual intercourse or other sexual activity.

Some of the muscles and nerve endings do two different things. The same muscles that contract while you urinate are also the same muscles that spasm during orgasm.

It’s only natural to consider that sometimes your body might get a little confused. You’re experiencing sexual pleasure and the muscles that are getting ready to spasm during an orgasm might actually make you feel like you have to urinate instead. This is totally normal and it actually happens to both women and men.

Although it’s perfectly normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating or confusing when it happens.

Prevention is Key

If you feel like you have to urinate during oral sex, does that mean you actually do have to urinate? Probably not, but it is certainly possible. If you find yourself feeling like you have to urinate during sexual pleasure, try to preempt yourself by using the restroom before you and your partner get busy.

This can help reduce or eliminate the feeling of having to urinate once you and your partner start pleasuring each other. If you feel the need to urinate during oral sex, feel free to stop your partner and let them know that you need to use the restroom.

You can incorporate it into your sex play by suggesting a hop in the shower with a nice soapy massage or you can just do your business and continue afterwards. It’s up to you based on how comfortable you feel with your partner at the time.

If It Happens

Although it probably won’t happen, if you do urinate a little during oral sex or other sexual stimulation, it’s really not a big deal. Most likely it will be a tiny, tiny amount and your partner may not actually notice it if you have other secretions going on as well. If your partner does notice, relax a little bit!

You’re not the only one it’s ever happened to and it might be good for a laugh later. There’s no need to avoid sexual pleasure, oral sex or other types of sexual activity because you’re afraid of urinating during the process.

When experiencing sexual pleasure in general, it’s likely that your body is going to do many different things, some of which might be considered embarrassing or uncomfortable.

You may pass gas or you may feel the need to urinate. Relax a little and chalk it up to the human body. Learn to accept your body, and your partner’s, and everything that comes with it.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: cunnilingus, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips, sexual health

Can I Get AIDS From Oral Sex?

By loveandsex

Oral sex is a great way to share yourself with your partner, if you’re ready, without having sexual intercourse. It may be tempting to think that since oral sex isn’t actually sex that it reduces or eliminates the risk of contracting AIDS, HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Sadly, this isn’t true. Oral sex presents just as much of a risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease as anal sex, vaginal sex or any other type of sex. How can you protect yourself?

If you have oral sex can you get AIDS or any type other type of sickness or disease?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ESsRDd1tbA[/youtube]

Blood and Bodily Fluids

Most sexually transmitted diseases are transferred through blood or bodily fluids. This makes it extremely easy for someone to give or contract sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex. For example, HIV and AIDS are present in semen, vaginal secretions and blood. If a person giving oral sex has recently brushed their teeth, small scrapes may remain in the mouth and on the gums even though the person can’t feel them.

Performing oral sex and taking bodily fluids, whether it’s vaginal or penile fluids, into their mouth can easily cause the transmission of the disease. Curable infections, such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis still cause a lot of damage and can easily be transmitted through oral sex.

A particularly unfavorable infection is when these types of diseases actually take host in the mouth and throat. A virus such as this doesn’t discriminate from one warm, wet place to another and will be just as happy in a throat as they are in a penis or a vagina.

The only way to completely prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to stay completely abstinent, but this is often completely unrealistic as most couples want to experience each other sexually as part of their relationship.

It’s important to take steps to protect yourself if you’re thinking of having oral sex with a new partner or a partner that hasn’t been tested for STD’s or who may have not been monogamous.

Staying Safe

An easy way to significantly reduce the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex is to use protection. For male oral sex, a condom is an inexpensive, easy way to protect from giving or receiving any diseases. A condom doesn’t make transmission impossible, but the risk is greatly reduced. There are a number of flavored and scented condoms that are created specifically to make oral sex enjoyable for both partners.

For female oral sex, there is a square piece of latex or silicone that is called a “dental dam.” These are also inexpensive and make vaginal oral sex much safer for both the receiver and the giver. A dab of lube on the inside of the dental dam can make the sensations of oral sex very similar to those without a dental dam.

When engaging in any type of sex with someone, whether it’s oral sex or intercourse, it’s important to be smart and safe. Take steps to protect yourself and your partner and if you’re ready to be monogamous and want to have sex or oral sex without protection, get tested.

If you’re sexually active and have multiple partners over a period of time, it’s important to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases regularly as well as using protection. You can have a lot of fun with your partner and prevent the contraction of many diseases by taking a few simple steps to protect everyone involved!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: aids, oral sex, safe sex, sex education, STDs

Is Anal Sex Really Dangerous?

By paulcarlson

Anal sex, like any type of sex, can be pleasurable but can also take a nasty turn if you don’t take the appropriate precautions and use care when having anal sex.

So can it be dangerous? You bet, but that doesn’t have to exclude it from your list of enjoyable bedroom (or other room) activities if you really enjoy it.

Here are some ways you can make anal sex safe and fun.

Is anal sex really dangerous? Can it be practiced safely?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cv2WADgqOs[/youtube]

Practice and Patience

Anal sex isn’t something you’re going to be able to be successful with on the first try. It might hurt at first, and you’ll have to go slow. It’s important that your partner and you are on the same page about how to try anal sex.

Practice first with your fingers or other small, smooth objects until you get used to the sensation. Have patience and work up to the point where anal sex isn’t as uncomfortable.

Keeping Clean

That particular orifice in our bodies was designed to excrete waste, and it does so pretty efficiently. Unfortunately, since anal sex is something our bodies weren’t designed to do (although we can manage pretty well sometimes), you might end up “playing in the mud” when you try anal sex.

Human waste is loaded with bacteria and in part, that’s what makes it dangerous if you don’t keep things clean. NEVER have vaginal intercourse after anal intercourse without washing thoroughly. Wash your hands, toys, penis and anything else that was involved. Wash everything again when you’re done! NEVER have oral sex after anal sex!

You can reduce your exposure to the bacteria in human waste if you wear a condom during anal intercourse. Even if you’re a monogamous couple, wearing a condom will help keep things safe for everyone involved.

Going Slow

While having anal sex puts both parties involved at risk for bacteria exposure, it exposes the receiver of anal sex to injury in that area if the giving partner isn’t careful. When having anal sex, go slow and don’t try to have rough sex.

Use soft, long and slow strokes to avoid tearing or other types of injury there. If you’re the giving partner, and the receiver asks you to stop, STOP! Using care and caution is of the utmost importance when having anal sex.

Communication is Key

Make sure that you and your partner agree on how you’re going to proceed with anal sex. Talk to each other and make sure the lines of communication are always open.

If a situation arises, talk about it! When you’re done talking about it, make sure to talk some more! You put yourself at a higher risk of doing damage during anal sex if you and your partner aren’t in agreement about how it’s going to be handled.

While anal sex isn’t always dangerous every time you do it, it can be and should be regarded with care and caution. Don’t go into anal sex without speaking to your partner thoroughly before, during and after anal sex and don’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Keeping everything clean is probably the most important aspect of making anal sex safe and fun, as is making sure you’re going slowly and your partner isn’t uncomfortable. If you’re cautious, anal sex can become a fun alternative to spice up your sex life!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, oral sex, safe sex

When to Say NO to Anal Sex…

By loveandsex

Trying new things in your sex life is healthy, and in many cases, even encouraged.

Some people tend to find a few things they like, such as anal sex, and may incorporate this into their sexual activities regularly.

Sometimes, however, you’ll find that after kids or other things that some things become uncomfortable or unbearable.

What happens if you become unable to perform you or your partner’s favorite sex acts due to one or more reasons?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband loves anal sex… we used to have it a lot (several years ago). Now it is extremely painful for me. I have been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome and have a couple external hemorrhoids from having children. We have tried taking it easy, tried using fingers first and LOTS of lube.

How can I get over the horrible pain so he will be happy? I don’t know what else to do. Can you help me? PLEASE!!!

-Me. WV

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5onqX2asejE[/youtube]

When it becomes uncomfortable…

Many people enjoy different activities during sex. This can range from S & M to anal sex to foot fetishes to anything your imaginations can dream up.

As long as you both enjoy it and you are both being smart and safe, there’s nothing against having fun and enjoying new and different things with your partner!

Good things can’t last forever though, and you may find that some of the things you once enjoyed doing have become uncomfortable and even painful. For example, if you and your partner really enjoy having anal sex, but after children it becomes painful for you to do so, you and your partner may become frustrated.

Just what do you do if you and your partner’s favorite activities become something you aren’t able to do anymore? Do you stop? Do you grin and bear it?

But they like it…

Even if something in particular is uncomfortable or painful to you, if your partner likes it a lot, you might be inclined to let them continue and just suffer through the pain. This is not something you are obligated to do! Not only is it extremely uncomfortable for you, it might even cause you harm in some way.

If you have had surgery or have had children and there are some physical reasons that keep you from enjoying your partner in the same way you once had, talk to your doctor about how safe it is for you to continue doing so. Don’t be embarrassed! They’ve heard it all before!

If you continue, you may find that it’s not just painful, it’s downright dangerous and could cause your body further damage. Your doctor can tell you what is safe and what isn’t.

Finding something else…

While you and your partner may be disappointed at first, if you truly love each other and care about each other, you’ll find more new and exciting ways to give each other pleasure.

There are a million and one things out there that two people can do together to share each other intimately and sexually, and if you continue to try new things and work different elements into your routine, you’re bound to find something else that turns you and your partner on. Don’t give up!

They won’t let it go…

Every once in awhile, there’s someone who just won’t let it go. They may want it anyway, even if it hurts you or may cause your body damage. Rest assured, this person isn’t worth your time! You have the right to say “No” and if something hurts you, you don’t have to do it.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea that will respect your boundaries and respect you if you choose to no longer participate in an activity that makes you uncomfortable.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, oral sex, safe sex, sex tips

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