Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for oral sex

Oral Sex and Orgasm Dilemma – I Want To Finish In Her Mouth…

By

Men love blow jobs. That’s a fact.

Many men also love finishing in a woman’s mouth during a blow job.

It can make them feel powerful or good about themselves and for some men, it just feels better physically to orgasm in a woman’s mouth than finishing another way.

Unfortunately, not all women relish the idea of having a man orgasm in her mouth.

There can be many different reasons why, but if you’re a man who enjoys finishing in a woman’s mouth, it can be disheartening when she doesn’t want to.  What can you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

When my wife gives me a blow job, she can’t quite let me finish in her mouth. Is there any advice you can give her?

– Pete, Alberta

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b-wYK7D3qg[/youtube]

It’s a texture thing

Some women don’t like the texture or consistency of ejaculate.  There’s no need to get into details here, but ejaculate in a woman’s mouth may make her gag simply because of the consistency and texture.  If this is her primary reason for not wanting you to finish in her mouth, there’s not too much you can do about it.  Can you finish elsewhere?

It’s a taste thing

Many women dislike the taste of ejaculate.  That’s not bad news because the taste of your ejaculate can differ depending on what you eat.  Garlic and onions may make your ejaculate taste bitter while strawberries and sweet fruits will make your ejaculate taste sweeter.

If this is your partner’s issue, you can change your diet to make your ejaculate easier to swallow.  Just remember to get feedback from your partner about what foods work well and what doesn’t.

It’s a gag reflex thing

Many women have big gag reflexes. It can’t be helped!  While she may be able to tolerate deep throating and blow jobs in general, ejaculate in her mouth might send her over the edge.  This is also something that you can’t really do anything about, so if this is the case, you should discuss with your partner some other ways to finish you while still making it feel good.

It’s a mental thing

Having a man ejaculate in her mouth is a very personal and even submissive thing for a woman.  If your partner was abused in any way, sexually or physically, she may have some serious issues with letting go and letting you finish in her mouth.

If your partner has emotional reasons for not wanting to let you orgasm in her mouth, have her talk to a therapist and work out some of her inner issues.  If she does let you finish in her mouth, it’s important to be supportive and positive, and show her that you truly do care and you’re not just using her.

There are many great ways for a man to have an orgasm with a woman after a blow job, without having to finish in her mouth.  Get creative and find different ways that she can please you without having to swallow ejaculate.

If the idea of ejaculating in her mouth really turns you on but she simply can’t come to terms with it, try flavored condoms or regular condoms that are made for this specific purpose.  The feeling might decrease a little bit, but you’ll get to finish in her mouth and she won’t have to swallow it so everyone wins!

Most of all, it’s important to talk with your partner about these issues and find common ground so you can both get pleasure from oral sex.

Frustrated Girl: It Takes 45 Minutes to Orgasm with Oral Sex!

By

If you’re a female frustrated by not being able to orgasm through oral sex – especially if you used to be able to – you’re not alone.

That probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but take heart in the fact that there are some things you can do to help solve the problem and once again climax through oral sex.

Here’s a question from a girl who is feeling incredibly frustrated by her inability to have an orgasm, even if her boyfriend tries for 45 minutes!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Any advise for WOMEN on receiving oral sex?  It seems to take longer and longer to reach an orgasm lately and quite often I get so frustrated that I lose the mood. I feel tense during oral sex and I’m sure that has something to do with it but I just don’t know how to make myself relax.

It used to be wonderful, but now I feel like it’s a waste of time. I feel bad for my fiancé who spent as much as 45 minutes there only for me to give up from frustration.

PLEASE…. I need help here!  I WANT THAT FEELING BACK! Any advice?

— Amber,   North Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8ihQi16hc8[/youtube]

Ask yourself – can you still climax well by yourself?

If you notice that you’ve been frustrated while masturbating as well, you might want to mention the fact to an OBGYN or sex therapist.  If you’re still able to orgasm well while you’re masturbating, everything is probably fine with the mechanics.

Are you focusing too much on orgasm?

Many women who are unable to climax through oral sex (or who are no longer able to after having been able to for awhile) are often too focused on the end result and they’re just not enjoying the ride.  Relax and let the feeling of oral sex take you over.

Don’t think in your head, “Am I close yet?” If you do, you’ll never get close – it’s a lot like watching a pot that never boils.  Try simultaneous oral sex with your partner. You’ll be both giving and receiving pleasure and it might take your mind off of the end result long enough for you to actually have an orgasm.

Give your partner direction.

Don’t be negative. Telling your partner how you don’t like what he’s doing will only serve to hurt his fragile ego. Be positive and tell him what you do like.  Don’t be afraid to speak up. Guys love that.  They also love that they’re not shooting in the dark trying to pleasure you.  They enjoy having feedback so they know what to continue doing.

Let your partner know that you like it a certain way, or if he’s in a good spot.  If he’s not in a good spot, try telling him to move a little one way or the other way. Give it time to get synced together when it comes to giving directions – it may not happen right away for you. Before long, however, your partner will learn what feels good to you and repeat only those maneuvers – sending you into climax heaven.

If it’s still not working, you should take a break from trying for a little while.  You know how you look for something you’ve lost, and you look and look but once you give up, you usually find it within a few minutes?  This might fall along those same lines.  Relax and try something new for awhile, such as experimenting with sex toys or new intercourse positions.

After awhile, when you and your partner both feel like you’re ready to try oral sex again, give it a shot!  You might just find out that a solid break is exactly what you needed to revive yourself and get back into the oral sex groove!  Often times, repeating oral very often will lead to less sensitivity, so taking a break might be the ticket out of the funk you’re in.

Above all, don’t put too much stock in one single act of sex.  There are plenty more things to do with your partner where you can experience both intimacy and orgasm!

5 Tips To Please Your Man In Bed

By

Want to give your man a thrilling experience like never before? Here are 5 really simple ways to make your lovemaking hotter, steamier and more passionate, starting tonight!

1. The best position for his enjoyment

Practically every animal species utilizes the rear-entry “doggy-style” position, so it is a natural one for humans to enjoy, as well. While you won’t have face-to-face contact, there are many benefits. It’s great for guys because it gives them full control.

This is one of the best positions for hitting her G-spot and allows him to fondle your breasts, stomach, clitoris, back, neck and other sensual spots. The main benefit for your man is that he’ll be able to get incredibly deep penetration (above-average guys need to be careful as deep thrusts might hit her cervix, which can be quite painful).

2. Find your man’s “hidden” zones

Yes, men love to be touched sensually too. I call these “hidden” zones because many people don’t realize, or forget, that these areas of the body LOVE attention.

While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, groin, and inner thighs, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even intensify their orgasm.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms, chest and scalp are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner.

3. Set a romantic mood

Think men aren’t romantic or wouldn’t appreciate it? Think again! Everyone loves a thoughtful and kind gesture. Of course you might think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of your lovemaking is a little too “cliché.” But he’ll think differently!

Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

4. Give him a hand job

When beginning a genital massage, start with lighter, irregular strokes – like teasing. As you get further and further into it, stick with two or three main strokes that your partner really enjoys.

Developing a good rhythm that your partner can get into is the key to bringing your partner to orgasm with a genital massage.

5. Please your man with more oral sex

If I had to give you one piece of advice to make your lovemaking perfect, it would be: learn the art of fellatio. It’s true, all men love it. It feels great and actually takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. In short, it’s an important part of lovemaking and is often the main event.

Problem is, women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straightaway when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches.

This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation. Make sure you use different techniques and your tongue, as well.

So there you have it. Five great ways to make your man more satisfied in the bedroom. While they’re all great, I would recommend putting most of your energy and time into learning fellatio, simply because men crave it so much and the loving smile and kisses you’ll probably get in return are definitely worth it.

Top 10 Tips To Give Women An Orgasm

By

Did you know that women can experience different types of orgasms and can even have multiple orgasms? It’s true! Unfortunately, many women can go years without an orgasm from their partner, and we all know how hard it is to satisfy a woman. Here are 10 tips to increase the chances she’ll reach climax, including the secret to multiple orgasms:

Start outside the bedroom

Want to increase the chances she’ll orgasm? When was the last time you surprised her with a little drawing, letter or flowers and sent them to her at work? Believe it or not, creative and romantic gestures DO turn women on because love and lovemaking are interconnected in a woman’s brain. Do this and you can bet-your-bottom-dollar you’ll be doing more than just eating dinner when she walks in the door! 🙂

Relax her

It’s very hard for women to orgasm if they are stressed. Give her a quick back massage. Rub her shoulders, upper back and neck to melt away the tension.

Ignore the vagina

Did you know that prolonged foreplay actually increases the chances of her coming? That’s right. By kissing, caressing and touching her LONGER, you’ll build the sexual tension and often the anticipation will be very powerful.

Change your focus

If you focus all your attention on the woman first, you’ll make love to her much more passionately. Think about it! If you’ve finished first and decide to help her come, you won’t have the enthusiasm and passion that’s needed to keep her hot and turned on.

Tip to last longer

Of course the first step to help her reach orgasm is by not coming. The best way I’ve found to not come is: Penetrate as normal and when you feel like you’re about to come, simply move your hips in a circular motion (like swaying a hula hoop) and wait until the “little guys” subside again. Now continue pleasuring. 😀

Don’t use lubricants

Women have a natural lubricant that fills the vagina when they’re turned on. By using a product substitute, you’re only fooling yourself. Without products, you’ll instantly know if things are working; but with them, you can never be sure. * Editor’s note: use this tip with caution; we’ve always found lubricants to be helpful.

Never too much clitoris

Did you know that once you’ve stimulated the clitoris for some time, a little thing called the clitoral hood will actually come out and cover the clitoris to protect it from further direct stimulation? (And no, I’m not making this up!) The point is, once the clitoris is fully stimulated, make sure you pleasure the G-spot next, whether it be with your hand, tongue or penis.

Find and stimulate the G spot

The G-spot is a zone that feels like the roof of your mouth and is located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the topside. (On the underside of her stomach.) There are two basic ways you can pleasure the G. With your fingers by doing a “come here” motion or with a love position that helps hit the G-spot…

Use the best position

Not all sex positions are made equal. The best one for women is the reverse missionary (woman on top). This is probably the easiest position for a woman to climax because she can control the friction to her clitoris and/or G-spot.

Give her oral sex

The single best way to help a woman reach orgasm, even multiple orgasms, is by going down on her (cunnilingus). While at first I didn’t believe it, countless studies have been done to prove this fact. Oral sex is easier and much more satisfying for women than intercourse is. Try the ABC’s with your tongue, ask what she likes, and mix it up with lots of different movements! However be VERY careful! With over 6,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, make sure you know everything there is to know before poking your tongue around there, otherwise it could be really painful and, even worse, spoil the mood. So there you have it – 10 tips you can start using right away to give women the most earth-shattering experience of their lives.

7 Tips For More Pleasurable and Passionate Lovemaking

By

Need some ideas to make your lovemaking phenomenal?

These 7 tips should give you plenty of ideas to make your midnight sessions more hot, steamy and passionate, starting today…

1. Become more sensual

While most men want to ‘get the job done’ and reach the goal of orgasm, for women it’s more about the journey. Women love to reach climax as much as men do, but they also love a sensual stroke from your hand across their leg.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner and can even intensify their orgasm.

2. Try positions proven to increase pleasure

For women: The reverse missionary is identical to the traditional missionary position except that she is on top. This is probably the easiest position for a woman to climax because she can control the friction to her clitoris and/or G-spot.

For men: Practically every animal species utilizes the rear-entry “doggy-style” position, so it is a natural one for humans to enjoy, as well. Although you won’t have face-to-face contact, there are many benefits. It is great for guys because they have full control over movement and pleasure.

3. Play bedroom games

Tasteful, fun and alluring sex games are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. They’re fun, sexy and have a lot of replay value.

Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!

And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you’ll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.

4. Set a romantic mood

People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of their lovemaking is too “cliché.” Are they kidding! Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

5. Give them a sexy massage

Why stop at setting the mood? Go one step further and give your partner a sensual massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable. Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “under the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place.

And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with an experience they’ll never forget….

6. Please your partner with more oral sex

Did you know that oral sex is a great way to strengthen your relationship? Think about it. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. Not to mention it’s great for men who want to relax without pressure to perform, and for women who can’t reach orgasm from only intercourse. In short, it’s an important part of foreplay.

Here are some tips for both men and women.

Ladies: Women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straightaway when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches. This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation.

Gentlemen: A mistake men often make is moving their tongue in a thrusting fashion, when stimulating the vagina and clitoris orally. Instead, they should lick it like an ice cream cone. Another great tip to keep things exciting is to write the alphabet around the clitoris with your tongue.

7. Use household items

It makes sense that to spice things up you need to do something different. The more unique the experience, the more it fires up your lovemaking. Well, just recently I’ve found one of the very BEST ways to keep things passionate and exciting. It’s by using household items.

Huh? That’s right! There are literally 100’s of household items you can play with in your house. Everything from a rolling pin for a massage, ice for a cool sensation, cards for a naughty game or sheepskin that feels soft under your skin.

By dedicating time to finding new items, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking for longer, and keep it that way. And while positions and techniques get old quickly, these items add a NEW LEVEL to your lovemaking that normal lovemaking just can’t do. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come.

In fact, unlike all the other suggestions, using household items for foreplay and intercourse proves to be the most unique and powerful way to spice up lovemaking.