Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for orgasm

3 Foreplay Strategies That Will Leave Her Breathless

By

Foreplay is the #1 thing that women need to have great sex. Learn these three foreplay techniques that will make her putty in your hands.

Women seem to have an amount of sexual self control that men just can’t wrap their minds around. They can tease and play to the point where you are sporting some serious blue balls, and she hasn’t even gotten wet. Guess what, you can beat her at her own game. You just need a good game plan. Here’s a quick guideline to driving her mad for you.

The Prize

Guess what, buddy, you are the prize, and you probably never hear that. Women’s magazines are inundated with advice about how to love yourself. It’s practically all Oprah talks about. However, men don’t often get the same encouragement. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hear it. You have something to offer. Sex with you is unlike sex she has had or will have with anyone else. Keep this in your mind on the way to the bedroom. There is nothing more arousing than confidence. If you’re unsure or apologetic, she will sense it, and it will make everyone uncomfortable.

The Strategic Back-Off

So you are at the point where you are definitely going to have sex. A man’s first instinct is to get in there, and get the job done. Yes, this is fun. For you. For around three and a half minutes. However, you can make it better. For the both of you. Instead of ripping her clothes off and diving in penis first, ease into it. Pull the straps of her dress down, and kiss her shoulders. Then push her straps back up, and kiss her mouth. If you’re about to head downstairs, pause to nibble around her belly and inner thighs. A woman’s sexual experience is multi-sensory. Every touch, caress, and kiss sends shocks through her body. You can drive her to near insanity.  Isn’t it more fun for her to beg for sex?

The Payoff

The Payoff is really, really good sex. It’s not just good sex for her, but for you, as well. When you tease her, you are teasing yourself. You may want to lick her lips or suck her breast more than anything, but if you wait until the point where you just can’t hold off anymore, the taste of her mouth and her breasts is even sweeter. If you’re running your lips across her inner thigh, savoring her flesh before you pleasure her, then your own sexual energy builds and builds. The more it builds, the more it releases, giving you a more intense, satisfying orgasm.

3 Mind Blowing Sex Techniques

By

Sex can drive her wild – IF you know how to do it the right way. A lot of guys don’t know their way around a girl’s anatomy, let alone actually use tried and true sex techniques to bring her to orgasm. Here are three ways to make a girl go crazy with sexual pleasure!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrwNR8bEAwQ&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

The Art Of Teasing During Foreplay

A lot of guys rush in during sex, anxious to get to the main event. Intercourse feels so great for a guy, he automatically assumes that it feels that excellent for a girl without really thinking it through. However, skipping the foreplay stage can really lower the pleasure factor for a woman – even completely. So take your time with foreplay and tease your partner. Get her to really want and crave your touch! Here’s how:

Kiss Lightly Up Her Legs

Start at her feet and kiss and lick lightly all the way up her legs, as though you were going to give her oral sex – but don’t! Get your mouth close to her vagina, nibble or kiss a little on the inside of her thighs, and then make your way back down her legs again all the way to her toes. Do this a few times and she’ll be begging you to put your mouth on her!

You can even take the teasing up a notch by giving her a little oral sex but then backing off for a few minutes while you caress your partner’s legs. If you tease too much without any stimulation, she may get bored with it. However, with the right combination of teasing and actual touching, you can really drive your lover wild!

Take Your Lover By Surprise

Every woman gets tired of the same old same old when it comes to seduction. What worked before isn’t always going to work, so you have to keep looking for new ways to get your partner’s attention and get her turned on. Even things that seemingly worked like magic just a few months ago aren’t necessarily going to work again, so you always want to stay on top of your game with new ways to seduce and tease your lover. Here’s how to surprise your partner with an extra bold kiss:

The Door Slam

Grab your lover and slam them up against the door or a wall and start kissing her aggressively. The idea here is not to hurt her – so you don’t want to do this too hard or be too aggressive with your kissing – but to her by surprise. Slamming her against a wall when done the right way won’t hurt at all – it will be surprising and a little disconcerting, especially since it usually makes a loud noise. This will take her breath away, and then she will melt right into the kiss.

Making Eye Contact

Eyes are called the windows to the soul for a reason – great eye contact can help you bond emotionally with a woman in a way that nothing else can. Eye contact works great during flirting, but you can also take it up a notch and work eye contact into sex. A lot of people look away from each other during sex, or look somewhere else on their partner’s face instead of looking directly into their eyes. Eye contact during sex can be such a powerful way to intensify your lover’s orgasm. Here’s how:

Eye Contact During Orgasm

When your partner is about to reach orgasm, have her look directly into your eyes. If she tries to look away, stop stimulating her and doing whatever it is that you’re doing that is bringing her closer to the brink of climax. This forces her to look into your eyes, and you’re “rewarding” her with pleasure when she does.

At some point, she’s going to go off the edge and slip into the abyss of orgasm while holding eye contact with you. It can be an incredible experience for your partner to look into your eyes as you give her intense pleasure, and watching your partner so deeply while their body is wracked with spasms can be amazing for you too.

This may not happen exactly right on the first try, and it may take a little while to build your partner up to the point where she can look you in the eyes throughout the entire climax. However, the process of learning how to do it can be just as much fun as actually doing it!

6 Reasons Why Women DON’T Climax!

By

According to reports, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!

A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not.

There are many reasons why women don’t reach orgasm. Some of them maybe men’s faults but a lot can be because of her too!

Foreplay? What Foreplay?

Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.

She’s Thinking About Too Much!

Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.)

She’s Full Of Insecurities

Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: “Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?”

If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good, especially down there.” or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!

She Doesn’t Know Her Own Body

There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of masturbation when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?

The best thing is that it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest! However, here are some clues to save you a few steps:

You’re Not Paying Attention!

True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms.’ As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!

To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!” while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”

You’re Changing Techniques Too Fast

Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.

So keep this in mind – when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location – it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.

Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too!

Mutual Masturbation – How To Get Your Partner To Try It

By

Mutual masturbation can be something fun and exciting to add to your sex  life. Masturbation doesn’t have to be something you hide from your significant other, or that you do in the dark in secret. You can enjoy masturbating with your lover, while watching them do it too. Sound like fun? Here’s how to get your lover into it!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJU7S75H358[/youtube]

What Is Mutual Masturbation?

To put it simply, it’s when you masturbate yourself in front of your lover and they masturbate themselves in front of you. It can be at the same time, but it doesn’t have to be. You can also take turns putting on a great show for each other – but most people who do this usually end up getting so turned on that they start touching themselves anyway.

Most couples are too shy to try this – in fact, most people are too shy to talk about masturbation in general – but it can be a great way to bond sexually with your partner. You can bond emotionally by watching each other give themselves pleasure, and you can also pick up some great tips on where they like to be touched and how they like to be stroked.

Get Comfortable With The Topic

First of all, if you’re uncomfortable with the topic of self love in general, it’s time to pony up and get comfortable with it. Rest assured, everyone does it – men and women alike. Although our society places taboos on masturbation (heck, some people even say that it makes you go blind or makes hair grow on the palms of your hands), there’s really nothing wrong with it and it’s a perfectly normal and healthy thing for both men and women to do. Educate yourself about masturbation and get over your preconceived notions that it’s “bad” or “wrong.”

Encourage Your Partner To Do It

Before you jump right in to mutual masturbation, you have to get your partner comfortable with it too. Too often, couples masturbate in secret without ever talking about it with each other. It doesn’t have to be that way! It’s not something to be jealous of, so encourage your partner to masturbate in addition to a healthy sex life with you. Get them a sex toy to enjoy on their own – there are tons of great sex toys for both girls and guys! Don’t think that the sex toy world is limited to vibrators for women. There is so much more out there! Explore some online sex toy stores – if you get the right ones, your lover may find them intriguing enough to try!

Make sure you give them plenty of privacy and time alone to enjoy their masturbation. Honor their privacy and don’t ever bust in on them if you know or suspect they’re masturbating. If the door is closed, knock!

Talk About It With Your Significant Other

If you and your significant other have never had the “masturbation” talk, go ahead and have it! Share stories with each other about your first time doing it or if you ever got caught doing it. Talk about how it’s normal and natural, and let your lover know that you’re not going to judge them at all for their masturbation habits or what they enjoy. Share with your lover what you enjoy and what your fantasies are – take that leap and tell them what you like when you get it on with yourself and they may be more encouraged to share what they like with you!

Your First Time With Mutual Masturbation

You’ve gotten past the “masturbation conversation” and you and your lover are both comfortable talking about it and doing it. You feel ready to take the next step and try doing it in front of each other. For your first time, consider blindfolding your lover. This can be fun, but it also serves a purpose – your lover is going to feel more comfortable masturbating in front of you for the first time if they can’t see you’re there. You can watch them, but they can’t see you! Alternatively, you may feel more comfortable wearing a blindfold for the first time masturbating in front of your lover.

Another great idea is to turn the lights down very low, or use candles. The dim lighting makes it more comfortable for both of you, but still allows you both to see what is going on, which can be incredibly erotic.

Make Your Significant Other Feel Good About It

Don’t be shy when your lover is putting on the show – let them know how much you like it and how much it turns you on! This can be in the form of just vocalizing your pleasure or even dirty talk, which can make it even more erotic for them. Touch yourself while they’re masturbating, so they can see just how turned on you are at the sight of them masturbating. If you want to get your lover to do it more often, you’ve got to give them positive feedback. Don’t be the freak that just sits in the corner staring – get into it! Let your lover know that you’re into it! Enjoy it and have fun with it.

Getting Into A Groove

You’ve tried mutual masturbation for the first time and you really like it – so how do you take it a step further? Try different sex positions when you do – sitting in front of each other is nice, but you can also try lying down, or with one of you lying in the bed and the other sitting in a chair. Use your imagination and consider different possibilities and different ways to try it.

What You MUST Know About The Clitoris!

By

An orgasm for a woman usually comes via the clitoris – so if you want to give her the big “O”, here’s what you need to know about her most sensitive spot.

Everyone worth his erotic salt knows that it’s all about the clit. It’s that tiny well-spring of pleasure that is so difficult to pinpoint. Every man wants to become the master of the clit. However, conquering that miniscule bulb over a woman’s vagina can be such an impossible task.

The Similarities Between The Penis And The Clitoris

Your penis is very straight forward: you touch it, it gets hard; you touch it more, and you orgasm. The reason it is so easy is that everything you need to work with is right in front of you. That is not so with a woman’s genitalia. The little bulb you see when you’re looking at it straight on is only a small portion of what makes up the clit. Most of it is internal, which is why it is so hard to figure out.

The appearance of the clitoris as a whole is quite similar to the penis; it’s just mostly on the inside. It is reminiscent in shape and function as it has both a shaft and erectile tissue. What most people think of as the clitoris is actually just the head or glans of the clitoris. If you look closely at it, the glans does bear resemblance to the head of a man’s penis, only significantly smaller. Despite its size, the head of the clit houses twice as many nerves as does the penis – which is why her orgasms are much, much better than yours.

How It’s Different

When a woman is not stimulated, the clitoris appears internally like a flaccid penis does externally. Upon arousal, it becomes engorged and erect, actually hardening like a man’s penis. The head pushes against the clitoral hood, which is homologous to a man’s foreskin. The head can be incredibly sensitive, and the clitoral hood protects it from irritation. This is particularly important if a woman is not properly stimulated, as the sebum produced by the body is what protects the clit during intercourse.

However similar in appearance the clitoris is to the penis, it reacts quite differently to stimulation. It’s easy to stimulate a penis to ejaculation. You just need to touch it. However, the clit is not an on/off switch. If you attempt to stimulate the clit before she is adequately aroused, you’re going to end up irritating her more than arousing her. In which case, it’s all over for you, pal.