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What Women REALLY Want In Bed

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Sex is different for girls than it is for guys. Girls experience it differently and feel differently about it than men do. If you think you know what your partner wants when she’s having sex with you, think again! You’d be surprised at the things a woman wants and needs during nookie to get off and feel satisfied. Here’s what a girl ACTUALLY wants in the sack!

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Psychological Excitement – Not Just Physical Excitement

A woman is multi-sensory during sex – she doesn’t just want to feel what you’re doing, she wants to think about it, hear it, see it, and imagine what you’re going to do next. A woman uses her brain during sex more than anything else, so if you neglect to stimulate her mind and her imagination when you’re getting it on, you’re not going to get very far.

While girls do appreciate good technique, you can’t skate by on technique alone. If you’re totally “blah” in bed and don’t get her mind, soul, body, emotions and imagination going when you’re getting busy, it’s not going to matter if you can touch her clitoris exactly the right way. She’s not going to be able to reach orgasm if her mind isn’t adequately stimulated.

What Energies A Woman Wants To Feel

Because a woman’s emotions are so deeply involved in sex, it’s important to have the right energy when you slip between the sheets. If you have a weak energy about you – as though you’re going to ask permission to do what you want to her – she’s not going to get turned on at all. These are some things that girls really want to feel when bumping uglies:

Dominance

A woman wants to feel as though she’s with a man who is dominant. She wants to feel like he will take control of the situation if need be, and that he has the confidence to give her pleasure. Having dominance doesn’t necessarily refer to domination like in BDSM, but rather, just a man having a dominant energy and attitude about him. Make her feel like you’re the alpha male!

Variety

Girls also don’t want to do the same thing over and over when they have sex. They want variety, just like anyone else does. You may know just the right techniques but if you do them again and again, they’re going to get old after awhile. Take the time to research new techniques and try them out.

Don’t assume that because you’re good at sex and can give a girl an orgasm that you’re beyond having to hit the books to learn something new – that’s every man’s downfall. Read up on new ways to pleasure your partner and see what works and what doesn’t! She’ll love that you’re adventurous enough to bring something new to the table!

Emotion

Girls are emotional creatures – emotions govern their lives, from what they do to what they wear, what they eat and where they go. It makes sense that emotions govern a woman’s pleasure during sex as well. A woman doesn’t want to get it on with a robot – if you’re incapable of showing emotion when getting busy, your partner will get bored pretty quickly.

Instead, allow the emotions you’re feeling come through. If something feels great, don’t be afraid to say something or even just moan. Don’t be too quiet! Also, dirty talk is a great way to engage her brain during sex. It lets her know that you’re really enjoying what’s happening while also turning her on even more.

After Sex Play

You’ve heard the joke about how all men do after sex is roll over and go to sleep – unfortunately, many men actually do this! They may get up and get a drink or have a smoke afterwards, but when it’s over for a guy, it’s over. However, it’s completely different for a woman. A woman is emotionally geared up after sex – she feels intimate with you and emotionally connected to you. She may want to cuddle or talk, but she probably won’t roll over and go to sleep.

If you emotionally unplug from your partner after orgasm and go do something else, she’s going to feel disconnected from you. Even if she had an orgasm (or two or three), if she doesn’t get that emotional follow up after sex, it’s not going to end well for her. It may even discount the whole experience!

Take some time when you’re done knocking boots to stay connected with her emotionally. Lay by her side and listen to her breathe. Touch her softly and cuddle with her. Even if you can only stay awake for just a few minutes, if you’re cuddling and bonding with your partner, it will make all the difference in the world. It will also increase your chances of getting busy – and not masturbating alone – next time!

They Want Orgasms!

Girls want orgasms during sex. While it is possible for a woman to enjoy it without reaching climax, it’s just a lot better for both you and your partner if you can help her reach her peak. If a girl never has an orgasm, she’s going to feel like having sex with you is a “job” and there’s really no point in doing it at all. That’s when a guy will notice his sex life start to wane – she’s not going to get busy with you if she can’t reach orgasm.

Practice your technique and communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Let her know that you genuinely want to please her and need some feedback on what she likes and what she doesn’t. If your partner is having problems with reaching orgasm and it’s not happening very often or at all regardless of what you do, visit a doctor and rule out any medical issues. Explore ways to make sure your partner is enjoying sex as much as you are.

Q&A: I Can Only Orgasm Through Anal Masturbation! Please Help!

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Anal sex can produce intense orgasms – there are tons of nerves back there that produce pleasurable sensations when stimulated. The prostate gland in particular will produce what some men say are the most intense orgasms a man can ever experience. Having a climax through anal sex can be a fun addition to regular orgasms, but what do you do if going through the back door is the only way you can get off?

Question: I have a very serious question. My friend can only come when he anally masturbates – he can no longer come just using his penis. Can you explain this?

–YouTube Viewer

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What Is An Anal Orgasm?

An orgasm through anal sex is due to stimulation of the prostate gland in men. It is possible for women to have an anal orgasm as well, but it is much more common in guys. When the prostate gland is stimulated through penetration of the anus, it can produce intense, deeply pleasurable sensations. Often, this will contribute to a powerful orgasm or cause one in and of itself. Usually, you have to stimulate the penis as well, but in some cases, an orgasm can happen through anal stimulation alone.

It’s Easy To Get Stuck In An “Orgasm Rut”

When you masturbate, it’s easy for both men and women to get stuck in an “orgasm rut.” In women, this is usually due to the use of a vibrator. A woman gets used to using a vibrator may have difficulty reaching climax during sex or fingering, and a man who almost always uses anal stimulation to get himself off during masturbation may notice that he is unable to climax without it.

It’s easy to get yourself into a habit of masturbating a certain way, and it may seem impossible to break that habit. Anal orgasms in particular are very powerful, and you can definitely get “addicted” to the intense rush that an orgasm like that can give you. It may not feel as pleasurable to you to masturbate any other way.

Is The Situation Permanent?

It may be common for people to get stuck only being able to reach orgasm in one way, but does that mean that the situation will last forever? Will you ever be able to masturbate or have sex and reach climax again without anal stimulation?

Yes. It may be a difficult habit to break and it’s certainly not going to happen overnight – but it IS possible to train yourself to reach climax in other ways. You’re not going to be able to break the habit if you continue to use anal stimulation with masturbation – you actually have to give it up for awhile and re-teach yourself to climax through regular masturbation or sexual intercourse.

It is unlikely that you will be able to reach climax on the first try if you’re not using anal sex toys. You may, but give yourself plenty of time to get warmed up and tease yourself. Set aside a good chunk of time, lock the doors and turn off your phone. Resist the temptation to just do it the same way you did before – find new ways to pleasure yourself. If you stick with it, you’ll eventually train yourself to be able to climax without anal penetration. Once you do that, you’ll find that you can reach climax both ways!

If You Just Can’t Do It

It’s unlikely that with time, dedication and persistence that you can train yourself to orgasm with many different forms of stimulation. However, if you try it and you just don’t have the patience to stick with it, relax. Just let it go and have fun with it! There’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing anal stimulation to reach climax. If it’s pleasurable and not hurting you or doing damage in any way, there’s really no reason to stress out about having to “quit.”

Sex and masturbation is all about having fun and giving yourself pleasure. Many people, especially men, may not want to admit that they masturbate anally. They may want to try to find other ways to reach climax because they feel embarrassed about wanting or needing to masturbate with anal sex toys. There’s no reason to feel ashamed about it – everyone likes different things during sex and no two people’s sexual preferences are exactly the same. If you just can’t seem to do without it, don’t stress over it. Relax, have fun and enjoy your orgasm!

How To Use The 5 Senses During Sex

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Sex should involve the whole body for a truly amazing experience. Men are visual creatures, and that is how they express themselves sexually. They like to look at boobs. They like to watch porn. However, women are multisensory. They experience sex with all of their senses. While a great set of abs does entice her visually, so does the sound of a man’s voice or the warmth of his touch.

When she is attracted to him, his scent is stronger than other men’s scents. While men may not be inherently moved to incorporate a woman’s fragrance or the cadence of her speech into his sexual nature, it doesn’t mean he can’t consciously make the decision to do so. Here’s a quick review of the five senses, and how erotic each can be.

Sight

You already know that men are visually stimulated. The respond best when they can actually look at what is going on, rather than just feel it with their bodies. That’s part of why porn is so popular! Men are already experts in getting turned on by what they can see, but you can take it even further. Really scan your lover’s body with your eyes. See how her body is different from other women’s.

Maybe she has strong runner’s legs or perfectly olive skin. Notice the things that make her special unique, and compliment them. Tell her how much you love her wildly curly hair or the curve of her stomach. You will see her in a new light once you’ve really taken her in.

Taste

Taste is definitely a component of good sex, but a lot of the time, the taste of your partner’s salty skin isn’t always erotic. So you can have a lot of fun playing with taste and incorporating new ones into our sex routine. Try giving each other sensual massages with flavored oils, and then lick it off one another’s bodies. Blindfold her, and then feed her passion fruits or chocolate mousse.

Have a sensual dinner before sex and really pay attention to the flavors and textures of the foods. Then, have dessert off her sexy body. Drizzle chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over her and have fun licking it all up. You can also buy a variety pack of flavored lip balms, and then guess the flavor every time you kiss her hello. Whatever it is, have fun with it.

Smell

There’s a reason that certain scents seem sexy to you, or turn you on. Your sense of smell can be heightened during times of extreme arousal. Maximize the power of aromatherapy by filling the room with warm, relaxing scents.  Musky vanilla, sandalwood or lavender scents all help relax the mind and body, and makes a woman feel more sensual.

To engage your sense of smell, breathe in the smell of her skin when she’s under you. Once you know her smell, it will get you going every time you catch a whiff.

Sound

The sounds of sex are probably one of the best things about it. There’s nothing like hearing how much you’re pleasing your partner or listening to the sound of intercourse. Dirty talk is a great way to engage you and your partner’s ears when getting it on.

Whether you’re telling over the phone what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or whispering sweet nothings in her ear, you can heighten the anticipation with verbal stimulation. Also, when you’re pleasuring her or railing her, listen to her moans and hear her reaction. Then you can be certain you’re doing it right.

Touch

This is the most sexually satisfying of all the senses. What you feel with sex is what governs what you do and what you think when you’re getting busy with your lover. Play with touch by running your hands all over each other’s bodies. Feel the warmth of your lover’s skin. Sex games that maximize touch with your partner are also a great way to enhance your sex life.

Play a game where you touch her each part of her body from head to toe, but never lose contact. Then enjoy the intense pleasure when you’ve felt her with all your senses. You can also use this sense when “feeling” your orgasms. When you’re in the throes of orgasm, let the experience completely overtake you. Get lost in all the different sensations that you’re feeling, and let your partner do the same!

Fingers vs. Sex Toys – Which Is Better?

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Female masturbation can be done with almost anything – hands, sex toys or even a shower head. All women are different and prefer their own style of masturbation – no two women will ever do it exactly the same. But which is better – a vibrator or your hands?

Pros Of Fingering

While some women just enjoy the buzz that a good vibrator can give them, there are certain things that fingers can do that sex toys can’t. While sex toys offer stronger, faster and harder orgasms than  hands can give you in most cases, there are definitely some benefits to “clicking your own mouse” the old fashioned way.

They’re Readily Available Whenever You Want Them

Your hands are attached to you, so if you want to masturbate in the bathroom on a plane or even in your car while stuck in traffic, you can without having to bring any extra tools with you.

Easy To Clean

No special cleansers required here – all it takes to get your hands clean before and after female masturbation is to wash them with good old old fashioned soap and water. In fact, if you’re doing it in the bathroom, you can wash your hands as you come out with no one being the wiser! If you’re not in a place where washing your hands is an option, a good dollop of hand sanitizer will do in a pinch.

Easier To Hide What You’re Doing If You Get Caught Masturbating

If you get caught going for the gold with a huge dildo, it’s going to be pretty difficult to try to hide what you’re doing or explain yourself – unless you want to just come out there and admit you’ve been getting it on with yourself. If you’re fingering yourself and you get caught, it is much, much easier to hide it or pretend that you weren’t masturbating. Not like getting caught with a sex toy!

A Man Is Less Intimidated By Fingers If He’s Intimidated By Sex Toys

If you’re with a guy who has a vendetta against sex toys (and some of them do), he’s going to be less intimidated if he knows you masturbate with your hands instead of a vibrator. While there’s nothing wrong with masturbating either way, some men just feel like they can’t compete with something that runs off of batteries.

Cons Of Using Your Fingers

While there are many benefits to using your hands during female masturbation, there are definitely some cons as well. Ignoring the downfalls of using your hands to get yourself off boils down to the personal preference of each woman.

They May Be Too Short To Reach Your G-Spot

If you have very short arms, hands or fingers, they may not reach your g-spot. While this is fine for women who enjoy fingering their clitoris during female masturbation, women who really enjoy intense g-spot orgasms are going to be disappointed.

It May Take Longer To Reach Orgasm

Vibrators allow women to achieve orgasms faster than ever before, and often the climax is much more intense. Not so with fingers – while you can reach orgasm and it can be just as good, it may take a lot longer to push yourself over the edge. This is especially true if you’re used to masturbating with a vibrator and switch to doing it with your hands.

It May Be Very Uncomfortable To Bend Your Arm And Wrist Enough To Reach Your G-Spot

The angle required to reach the g-spot properly is intense – reaching your own hand down there and angling your fingers in the right way may be uncomfortable or painful. You may be able to do it for a short period of time, but coupled with the movement of your fingers to stimulate your g-spot, you may not be able to keep it up for very long.

Bacteria From Under Your Nails Can Cause Infections

If you’re not good about washing your hands before you masturbate, bacteria under your nails can be introduced into your vagina and cause bacterial or yeast infections. This is why proper hygiene is so important!

Long Nails Can Scratch And Cut

Many women enjoy having long nails or wear acrylic nails. If you do, your long nails can scratch or cut the inside of your vagina. Ouch! If you prefer to masturbate with your hands, try to keep your nails trimmed or file the edges so they are not sharp.

Pros Of Using Sex Toys For Female Masturbation

While many of the benefits of using sex toys during female masturbation are obvious – vibrations, hello? – there are also a number of other benefits of choosing a toy instead of your hands when getting busy by yourself.

Many Sex Toys Are Made Specifically For G-Spot Stimulation

While fingering will do the job most of the time, many sex toys are created specifically for g-spot stimulation. This means that they’re much better at reaching the right spot than you are, and can often provide stronger and faster stimulation.

Some Of Them Vibrate

Sex toys can vibrate. Enough said!

Sex Toys Don’t Get Cramped Up During Use

While ignoring pain or discomfort in your hands is easier to do when you’re almost there, you don’t have to do that with a sex toy. They never get tired or cramped up during use – if your hands get cramped up right before you reach orgasm and you’re unable to finish, it’s all over and you’re going to be an unhappy camper for the rest of the day!

They Come In Different Sizes, Shapes And Materials

Women like different things during female masturbation, and there are as many different kinds of sex toys out there as there are women (almost). They come in a variety of different sizes and shapes, so each woman can find the one she likes best and is most comfortable with.

Most Sex Toys Will Provide More Than One Kind Of Stimulation At A Time

Yes, you can stimulate your clitoris and your g-spot at the same time with your hands, but do you have a third appendage for your anus as well? Also, can you vibrate your clitoris, rub your g-spot, stimulate your anus and just inside your vaginal canal with rotating beads all at the same time? Nope! But a sex toy can. Sex toys are an excellent way to achieve a blended orgasm!

Cons Of Sex Toys

While a vibrator may be the holy grail of female masturbation for many women, believe it or not there are some downfalls to using a sex toy when you’re pleasuring yourself.

They’re More Conspicuous And Harder To Hide

If you get caught fingering yourself, it’s super easy to yank your hands out of your pants and pretend you really weren’t doing anything at all – and you may very well get away with it. Getting caught with a sex toy? Not so much. They’re harder to hide (especially if yours is a vibrating rabbit or a large dildo) and can be very loud if they vibrate. Many of them can’t be taken with you places and can’t be explained away if you get caught using them.

If you want a vibrator that is quiet and easy to tuck away, try smaller, portable ones that don’t require batteries. These tend to be quieter and can easily be stashed in your pocket or purse.

Toys Do Wear Out

Eventually, even your most loved sex toy will bite the dust. It may last you years if it’s produced by a trusted manufacturer and made with quality materials, but eventually, you’ll have to say goodbye to it. Your hands are with you forever.

Many Need Batteries Replaced Or Recharging

Sex toys that require batteries or recharging can be inconvenient. Rechargeable vibrators are less inconvenient than battery operated ones (it’s a pain to continually have to buy batteries every time you’re at the store), but if you’ve ever had a vibrator die on you when you’re thisclose to climax, you may swear by your hands from then on.

Some Of Them Aren’t As Easy To Clean

Some sex toys have lots of crevices and crannies that can get bodily fluids stuck in them – and require intense cleaning if you don’t want your toy to get funky. In some cases, they require special cleaners and can’t be cleaned with traditional soap and water. Other toys aren’t waterproof, so they can’t be wiped down. Nothing can be cleaner than your hands after a good old fashioned wash!

Why Foreplay Is Critical!

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Foreplay is a critical first step for women, and men often overlook it. Men tend to approach sex in the wrong way. They think that the harder they penetrate, the harder she’ll orgasm. Unfortunately for women, this doesn’t work. Did you know the best way to make a woman orgasm is to not even put your penis inside her?

That’s right, good old third base is a home run for the ladies. The vagina has very few nerve endings past the opening, and hitting the g-spot through penetration is more about lucking out than mastering technique.

Fingering Her To A Frenzy

The male species often thinks that third base is a means to prepare her for his throbbing member, which is why the women they’re with tend not to respond with the screaming orgasm of which they are capable. If you re-program yourself to thinking about fingering as part of “having sex,” then you’ll be able to satisfy her on new levels. She will certainly thank you for it!

Mental Foreplay First

Before you make the journey into the bush, you have to start with foreplay first. Women don’t have the ability to dive right into sex the way men do. She needs a bit of a build up. This starts from the moment you hope to have sex with her later. Every small touch, glance, and kiss throughout the night draws her closer to you. It will be very difficult to get her started if you’ve been acting like she’s a stranger for the past several hours. She doesn’t have to feel completely in love with you, but she does need to feel some sort of connection.

Making Out

When you’re finally alone, never underestimate the power of a good make out session. Remember when you were a teenager and making out was so much fun? It’s because you didn’t really know what was going to come next. You hadn’t gotten to home base yet, or even third base, so the excitement of possibly getting to see her breasts or touch her vagina was almost too much to bear. Re-create that feeling all over again by not rushing a great make out session. Take your time and make her feel like you’ve got nothing else better to do than kiss her all night long.

Eventually, the make out session will lead to more than just kissing – but don’t try to force it.  Start with gentle kisses that escalate into tongue tangling passion, and her nether regions will be begging for some attention once you get there. Do to her mouth what you plan on doing to her clitoris during oral sex – she’ll get the hint and it will turn her on even more to get a “preview” of what your tongue can do for her.

Fondling Her

In the midst of your good old fashioned make-out, put your hands other places, and I don’t mean breasts alone. You should stroke her back, her sides, her hair, and her breasts. Touch her softly and don’t rush it. Don’t manhandle her or grab her! You should be using your fingers to stroke her in sensitive places like her neck or the crease of her elbow, and you shouldn’t be touching any harder than you would touch the track pad on your laptop.

Once you’ve gotten her turned on enough, play with her nipples for a while, and then move elsewhere. Go back, move away, and repeat. Once you feel her breath quicken and her grip tighten, and you’re sure that she’s ready for you to make the next move, don’t leave her hanging! Get down there and touch away.

Don’t Assault Her

It is best to not go into full on assault mode. If you start fingering her right away before she’s really good and wet, it will hurt. Some women may get wet just from the kissing and touching, but some won’t. Don’t be afraid to have a good lube on hand. A dab of lube or more can make all the difference between pleasure and pain!

Start by massaging the outer parts of her vulva, and her inner thighs. If you just graze the clitoris now and again, it will send shock waves through her body. When it’s time, zero in on the sweet spot, and don’t move until she has had at least one mind-blowing climax. You can also give her oral sex – it’s probably a woman’s favorite way to get off and makes her more prone to having multiple orgasms!