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Orgasm Tips: How To Build Her Orgasm In 3 Phases

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For women, achieving orgasm is a process, and a fun one at that.  Foreplay is an essential part of reaching orgasm for a woman. All of the kissing, touching, licking, and caressing are vital parts of sex for the fairer sex, not just stuff you do until you cum. She feels intense delight at the touch of your lips and the stroke of your finger tips.

In fact, there are instances where a woman enjoys the sexual experience, even if she hasn’t climaxed. The more you make a woman feel like she’s special, like you’re really into her and that you’re super turned on by her, the more she will enjoy having sex without without having an orgasm. However, those instances are few and far between, so it’s best if you know how to make give a woman the climax of her life.

There is not a single technique that will absolutely guarantee your woman’s satisfaction, but rather a building of mood and touch that eventually send her over the edge.  Since there’s no “right” way to do it that applies to all women, it’s a bit of a difficult concept for men to grasp, since a warm vagina, or even a fist full of hand lotion, is all it really takes to get where you need to be. Perhaps a better understanding of the phases a woman goes through to reach orgasm is in order.

Phase I: The Beginning

This is the part when she just decided she wants to have sex with you.  When she reaches this stage, her breathing is slightly heavier than normal, and her pulse has quickened.  This can happen at any time – even without you knowing that she wants to have sex with you. That’s why paying attention to her body language is so important! If you notice that she seems to be more “into” you, has started touching you softly or licking her lips, some serious making out just may be in order at this point. While you’re kissing her, let your hands wander all over her body.

Run your fingers through her hair, stroke her back, and even get in a bit of nipple play. If your hands head south of the border, avoid direct contact with her clitoris. Make sure you use slow, gentle strokes. Rubbing your palm slowly and deeply over her vaginal lips is a great way to give her a hint of what’s to come without irritating the parts of her vagina that are ultra sensitive.

Phase II: The Build-Up

Now things are really getting heated up. Her breathing has turned into almost a pant, and she’s probably let out some audible moans.  When she’s in this phase, you can make more direct contact with the clitoris, but don’t just hang out there.  Tease your partner by keeping more indirect contact going, brushing the head of the clitoris every once in a while. Rub the sides of her clitoris along the shaft, and then pinch the head lightly with the pads of your fingers.

Make sure that either your fingers are lubed up before you touch her, or that she’s very wet and you can use her natural lubrication to wet your fingers. Touching her clitoris with hard, dry fingers isn’t going to feel good to her at all. A dab of lube will go a long way here. If you don’t want to finger her, these same concepts can be applied to oral sex as well.

You can also vary strokes and speeds at this point. You may want to rub the head of the clitoris in a circular motion at a high frequency, and then slowly rub the shaft up and down. Experiment with different strokes and play around with her – listen to her cues to let you know which strokes she likes the most.

Phase III: The Big Finish

Phase III is typically signaled by her screaming, “Faster! Faster!”  Now is not the time to mess around or change what you’re doing. Whatever it was that you were doing when she reached this phase is the exact same thing you need to do to finish her up. Some guys get the idea that they need to try something else – for example, when a woman gets closer to orgasm, he may decide that instead of flicking the head of the clitoris with his tongue, that he’s going to lick slowly around her labia. Resist the temptation to change what you’re doing!

Get in there, and get the job done! Zero in on that one spot, and rub it like you mean it. Use quick, circular motions right on the head of the clitoris until you hear her scream in ecstasy! If you don’t change what you’re doing when she starts to enter the third phase and keep at it, following her directions for harder, softer, faster, etc., you’ll bring her to climax in no time.

How To Give Multiple Orgasms Like A Porn Star

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Multiple orgasms are considered the “holy grail” of sex for women – if you can give her more than one, you’re golden. Porn stars are often looked at as “sex gurus” – and in a way, they are. They do it A LOT more than the average person. Adult films are known for featuring some of the hottest women on earth, but they aren’t just about showcasing women who look good on camera.

The people who are able to make a career in the adult industry are all known being abso-freaking-lutely AMAZING in bed. The top porn stars in the world are better at giving their partners incredibly intense orgasms than just about anybody out there.

Can You Have A Porn Star Sex Life?

Now, just because you might never be receiving an award at the AVN, doesn’t mean you can’t have the sex life of a porn star. Here are several very powerful ways to give your partner multiple orgasms BEFORE you penetrate her, using only your fingers.

So how do you give your partner incredible, body-shaking orgasms with nothing but your fingers? Simple, just keep reading, and take notes.

Women can have many kinds of orgasms, but today we are going to focus on two kinds: Clitoral, and G-spot orgasms. First, you are going to learn how to make her cum by each one individually, and then I’m going to show you how to combine them for something so explosive, she very well may pop your ear drums from screaming so loudly.

Clitoral Orgasms

Doctors and other sex education experts have all agreed that a woman’s clitoris was designed solely for sexual pleasure. So being able to stimulate it properly is a great way to make her shake and moan for more.

In order to locate her clitoris, take your middle finger and starting at the opening of her vagina, slowly work your way up a bit, until you feel something that feels like a tiny knot. This, my friend is her clit, and all of the thousands of amazing nerve endings in it will thank you for finding it.

Now, start to slowly make small circles with your finger on her clit (either clock-wise or counter clock-wise, it’s up to you). Once you have a nice comfortable and even pace, you’ll very quickly notice her body shaking and her breathing pattern changing. Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Too many men change up their technique, and this absolutely ruins the experience for women.

You should also keep in mind that the lighter you touch her clitoris, the better. Since she is so sensitive there, touching her any harder then you would touch your laptops track pad, could very easily hurt her and ruin the experience. Just this one simple technique alone can give just about any woman multiple orgasms, very quickly.

G-Spot Orgasms

First of all, the G-spot isn’t actually a “spot,” it’s actually an entire area located approximately 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper vaginal wall (on her stomach side, instead of the anus side).

So while your partner is lying on her back, insert your middle finger in to her vagina, with your palm facing upwards. Stroke your finger along her upper vaginal wall until you find something that feels like a ribbed surface, similar to the inside of your mouth, right behind your top row of front teeth.

Congratulations, you’ve now done something that most men will never do. You’ve found the G-spot! And now that you know where it is, it’s time to learn how to simulate it properly.

With her laying on her back, and you kneeling in front of her, with your middle and ring or pointer fingers touching her G-spot, you are going to want to use a “come over here” motion.

One thing you need to watch out for is the amount of pressure you use when fingering your partner. Most men are very strong, and don’t realize just how much they are using. Remember to be gentle when you are stimulating a woman’s G-spot, because it’s hard for us to enjoy what you’re doing, if is uncomfortable.

How To Tell If She’s Digging It

Okay, so how do you know that you’re woman is really enjoying it? Well asides from the moaning, screaming, body shaking, and her digging her mails in to you; you should pay close attention to her breathing patterns.

If her breathing seems a little erratic, and almost as if she’s panting, then that’s a great clue that you are doing a good job; but you can do even better.

The Ultimate Fingering Orgasm

If you can perfect those two techniques, you will be able to do what 95% of men cannot do – give her a blended orgasm.

If you think about it, combining both techniques should be pretty straightforward right? While your partner is lying on her back, you would use your dominant hand to stimulate her G-spot while simultaneously using your other hand to make those tiny circles on her clitoris.

Well, like most of life’s greatest pleasures, this is a bit trickier then you would think.

Since you are using both of your hands to perform different tasks, the brain has a very difficult time processing both things at the same time. If you have ever tried to play the drums, you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

Practice Makes Perfect

The only way to get this technique down perfectly is to practice, practice, practice. I highly recommend waiting until you are alone in your house to do this. Start by using a pillow as if it was a woman. Lay it down flat on either your bed or couch and imagine that it is your partner’s body.

Start with the clitoris technique for a few minutes, and then switch to the G-spot one. Once you feel comfortable enough, try to do them both at the same time. Most people will find this very frustration at first, but don’t worry. Star very slowly, and then gradually speed up a little.

If you practice this for 10-15 minutes a day, you should have no time mastering it within a couple of days (a week at the most). And then think about how amazing of a feeling it will be to know that you are one of the few people alive with the ability to give virtually any woman you want simultaneous multiple orgasms BEFORE penetration?

How To Give Your Sex Life A Makeover Without Shattering Your Man’s Ego

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Sex isn’t something every guy is a natural at. In fact, a lot of guys are very awkward when it comes to pleasing a woman and some guys aren’t able to give their partners an orgasm at all, period. If your man sucks in the sack, you definitely want to give him a few sex tips to point him in the right direction – but how on earth do you do it without damaging your guy’s fragile ego? Here’s how to gently give your guy sex tips, while still making him think he’s the best.

Vocalize Your Pleasure

Even if he doesn’t get it right most of the time, there’s bound to be a few times that he hits the spot exactly the way you want it – and when he does, it’s important that you vocalize your pleasure and make a very big deal about it. You don’t necessarily have to make it into dirty talk – you can simply moan very loudly, gasp for air or yell “Yes!” – or all of the above. The point is, you want to make sure that he KNOWS that he’s done something right. Because once he figures out that he’s on the right track, he’s going to keep doing whatever it is that makes you scream and writhe with pleasure. So vocalizing what feels great to you is beneficial for you both.

Do To Him What You Want Him To Do To You

Sometimes, the best way to give your lover sex tips is to actually show him what you like – on him. If you want him to give you oral sex, try giving him a really great blowjob first. If you want him to touch you with his hands or finger you, show him what you want by giving him a handjob first! The idea here is to show him what you like by doing it to him first. He’ll probably pick up on it right away, but he may not. Keep giving him what you want and he’ll eventually get the idea. If he doesn’t, you can always wait until after you’ve given him a really amazing oral sex session and say, “I would love for you to try that on me.”

Guide His Hands – Or Mouth

If he’s going down on you and just isn’t hitting the right spot, don’t be afraid to gently guide him in the right direction. If he’s licking in the wrong place, gently use your hands to guide his head and mouth to just the right spot. Honestly, he’ll appreciate the pointers much more than he would appreciate his efforts being wasted because he wasn’t sure what you wanted – and you wouldn’t tell him.

If he’s using his hands, gently slide your hand down to your clitoris and show him with your hand how you want to be touched. This won’t upset him if you’re not cocky or condescending about it. You can also move his hand the way you want him to touch you – and after you let go, he’ll continue doing the same movements you showed him.

Leave A Magazine Or Internet Article Out For Him To See

If you find a particular juicy article with sex tips you think your man can use, leave it out inconspicuously for him to find. If it’s a print publication, leave the magazine in the bathroom, open to the page you want him to read. Leave it out as though you were simply reading it yourself and just forgot to put the magazine up. Next time he’s sitting in the bathroom, he’ll probably notice it – and read it. If it’s an Internet article, just leave your browser pulled up like you had forgotten to close it down. You can also minimize the browser and when he pulls up the Internet, the article will pop up “accidentally.” This is especially effective if you and your partner share a computer.

Tell Him – Nicely

If all else fails, you need to talk with your guy about how to make your sex life better – because if he’s getting off, you deserve to have an orgasm too (and an amazing one at that!) There’s absolutely no shame in talking to your guy about how to make sex better, but the way you bring it up is extremely important. If you start the conversation off saying “You need to do this,” or “You do this wrong,” it’s going to make him want to immediately stop listening to you. Don’t criticize your guy – because he’s probably trying very hard to please you sexually. Instead, tell him things you’d love to try, or say, “I love it when you do this, but I think this would be even better.”

7 Ways You Can Increase Your Sex Drive NATURALLY!

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Sex doesn’t always stay hot, especially in a steady, long term relationship. But that doesn’t mean you have to get an Rx from your doctor just to be able to have regular sex with your partner. Medications like Viagra and even herbal remedies can leave you with unwanted side effects. Instead, boost your libido NATURALLY with these 7 tips.

Drink A Glass Of Wine

A huge reason for any decrease in sex drive for both men and women is stress. In fact, it could definitely be argued that stress is the number one cause for a lack in libido, whether sudden or gradual. A glass of wine or two before hitting the sheets with your partner will help you relax and forget some of the stresses of the day, which is an important part of getting your body and mind ready for sex – especially for women.

Wine also has healthy antioxidants in it that are essential for sexual function – however, it is important that you don’t overdo it on the wine. If you don’t like wine, grab a brew (beer has a few benefits of its own) but stay away from the hard liquor. Don’t have more than one or two drinks, or you may end up making your libido even lower and men who have had too much to drink tend to have problems getting or keeping an erection.

Quit Smoking (If You Smoke)

Smoking cigarettes can deeply affect your sex life, much more than you think it would. Both men and women can experience a reduction in libido due to smoking, most notably because nicotine is a vasoconstrictor – meaning that nicotine causes blood vessels all over the body to shrink. Since reaching orgasm is pretty dependent on blood flow to sexual organs for both guys and girls, smoking cigarettes can either make a person just not feel like having sex (because less blood is getting to the genitals) or have trouble getting to climax.

Smoking cigarettes can also lead to blockages in the arteries of the penis, leading to problems with erectile dysfunction. If you’re a woman who smokes, reaching orgasm can be near impossible, especially for those women who have smoked for many years. Also, women who smoke take longer to conceive when trying to get pregnant than non-smoking women. Do your sex life a favor and put your cigarette out.

Get A Professional Massage

Again, stress is a huge contributor to a decreased libido. Getting a professional massage – whether you’re a man or a woman – can boost your libido by allowing you to de-stress and relax. It also helps physically relax your muscles and even the simple act of being touched by another human being can be enough to re-awaken your body and your sex libido.

If you’d rather have a more erotic massage before having sex, you probably don’t want to book an appointment with a professional masseuse. Instead, light your favorite scented candle, put on some soft music and massage your partner (or have them massage you). Focus on relaxing their body and mind before you let your hands wander to the naughty areas and you get started with foreplay.

Boost Your Self-Esteem

If you have a low self esteem and don’t like the way you look, you’re definitely not going to want to get naked with your lover as often. If you’re really down on yourself (and you may not even realize it), think about what it is you don’t like about yourself. Are you overweight? Would you rather have a more toned stomach or tighter thighs and glutes? If that’s the case, go exercise! Exercise will not only help you get in shape and raise your self esteem, it will also pump powerful endorphins through your body that actually help contribute to sexual arousal all by themselves.

You can also boost your self esteem with simple things like a spray tan, a haircut, a new outfit or even a Brazilian wax. Think about what you could do personally to build your own self esteem, go do it! You’ll notice that you feel more confident afterwards and feeling great about yourself leads to great things in the bedroom!

Have A Heart To Heart With Your Partner

Women need to be emotionally and physically turned on to really want to have sex. If a woman isn’t feeling emotionally connected to her partner, she’s not going to want to have sex with him as often, if at all. If there are relationship issues at all, they definitely could be contributing not only to your partner not wanting to have sex with you, but you’ll also feel less like having sex if you’re fighting with your partner.

If you’re having relationship problems, sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with them. Go to couples counseling if you need to. Forgive things that you need to forgive and see your partner’s point of view. Do what it takes to work out your issues and when you do, you’ll notice a huge jump in how often you have sex – and how good it is!

Try Yoga

Yoga, like any exercise, will help promote  blood flow to your body – including those parts responsible for great sex and excellent orgasms – and increasing blood flow throughout your body will heighten your libido in a number of ways. You’ll feel better and have more energy for sex, you’ll feel more confident and sexy, you’ll be more flexible and can get in different sex positions, and overall you’ll feel better all over.

If yoga isn’t your thing, try Pilates or even simple stretching exercises. If you’re not an active person, just start walking. Walk to your mailbox and back, and make it a little farther each time you go. Committing to exercise will help you feel healthier and sexier, and will help improve your sex life more than you would think!

Check What Medications You’re On

There are lots of medications that can contribute to a low libido or even problems having an orgasm or getting and keeping an erection. However, it’s hard to tell which medications may be contributing to your sex problems and it can be especially difficult to narrow down the culprit if you’re taking more than a few medications – and this even includes herbs and supplements! If you’re concerned that a medication you’re taking might be contributing to a low libido or erectile dysfunction, make an appointment with your doctor. Never stop taking any medications without checking with your doctor first!

Some medications that cause sexual dysfunction aren’t going to be ones that you can come off of – like heart disease, mental health and diabetes medications. If this is the case, talk to your doctor about your alternatives. However, if you ARE able to get off one or more medications that are known to reduce sex drive, you’ll notice a jump in your libido!

Why Can I Only Reach Orgasm With Clitoral Stimulation?

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An orgasm isn’t always something that is easy for a woman to achieve. Getting to climax for a girl isn’t at all as easy or quick as it is for a guy – for a guy, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’s going to orgasm during sex but not so much for a woman. In fact, many women can only have a climax by stimulating the clitoris. Why is this?

Question: I can’t orgasm while having sex with my partner. I have to help him by playing with myself. I cant orgasm by just having plain sex with him. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy it, I love it. But I can’t seem to get into the “zone.” Some history about this is: I was a virgin about one year ago and lost it with my partner that I am with now. He is a little worried about my not being able to reach climax without clitoral stimulation. Please help!
–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDHwl4Te5dg[/youtube]

Needing Clitoral Stimulation To Orgasm Is NOT Uncommon

Over 65% of women actually require stimulation of the clitoris during sex to have a climax at all. This is the vast majority of women, and this doesn’t even count the number of girls who have never even experienced climax at all! Only a few women can have a climax with vaginal intercourse or g-spot stimulation alone. Usually, if a woman is going to have a g-spot orgasm, it is in conjunction with a clitoral orgasm.

Why The Clitoris Is So Important

The clitoris is actually one of the most important – if not THE most important – part of a girl’s anatomy when it comes to sex. The clitoris has over 8,000 ultra sensitive nerve endings in it alone, which is more nerves than are present in the entire penis! It is designed for female pleasure and pleasure alone, meaning that this part of a girl’s anatomy actually has no other purpose whatsoever that to provide a woman with sexual pleasure and bring her to climax!

G-Spot Orgasms

Having an orgasm through g-spot or vaginal stimulation is going to take a lot longer than having a clitoral orgasm and a woman has to be extremely aroused and mentally and physically “into it” for a climax to happen this way. A lot of men just don’t give a girl enough warm up time through foreplay to get her really good and turned on first, so then it seems like it’s impossible for her to climax through vaginal intercourse.

In reality, it IS going to take longer and a woman needs to be FULLY aroused before starting to stimulate the g-spot. Give yourself enough time for foreplay in the beginning, and give yourself enough time during sex to actually have a g-spot or vaginal climax. Many couples assume that just because it is taking a long time or that it’s not happening as fast as it does when stimulating the clitoris that it will never happen. Relax, have patience and have fun with it!

Why She May Not Be Able To Have A G-Spot Orgasm

As a woman becomes more and more aroused during sex, her g-spot is going to swell up and become engorged with blood. When this happens, the g-spot can feel friction during sex more and sex is more pleasurable. However, the enlarged g-spot also pushes against the bladder and for a girl, it can feel like she needs to pee. Thinking that she’s going to wet the bed during sex is enough to turn her off completely and make her want to stop.

Avoid this by having her go to the bathroom before having sex. Then, when she starts to feel like she has to urinate, you can both be confident that this isn’t a real urge to use the restroom – it’s simply the g-spot enlarging and pressing on the bladder. You can be reasonably sure that when she starts to feel this way, a g-spot climax isn’t far off. Encourage her to relax through the feeling and ride the waves of pleasure!

Bring In The Sex Toys

Lots of women put pressure on their partners to learn how to please them sexually, but they don’t have the slightest clue how to pleasure themselves. You’ll never be able to teach your partner to push your hot buttons unless you’ve figured out where they are first, so take some time to hit the sheets with some of your favorite sex toys and learn what you really like in bed.

If you want to have a g-spot orgasm, try out a few g-spot massagers or vibrators. A Rabbit vibrator is always a great choice, because it stimulates both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time. A lot of the time, having a blended orgasm first (both a g-spot and a clitoral climax at the same time) will bridge the gap between having just a clitoral climax and a g-spot climax separately.

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are a great way for a girl to strengthen her vaginal muscles and create more friction during sex. Practice squeezing your PC muscles (the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when going to the bathroom) when you’re just sitting at your desk at work or while walking around. No one will know you’re doing them! By strengthening your vaginal muscles, you can squeeze your partner’s penis during sex so you both experience more friction during intercourse. This will increase your likelihood of having a g-spot climax!