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Sex Games: How To Develop An Alter Ego For Sexy Roleplay

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Sex games can be a lot of fun and they can definitely help spice up your sex life. If your sex life is in a rut, you can use role play and sex games to bring the spark back between you and your lover. Role play allows you to let go of your public persona and inhibitions, while taking on a fun, sexy persona. In the bedroom, you can be whoever you want to be! Here’s how you can let your inner vixen out with some sexy role play!

Domination Vs. Submission

Very few people enjoy both domination and submission, so it’s safe to say you generally like one or the other. Now, domination and submission doesn’t always involve BDSM or sex escapades that are really out there. You can definitely experiment with dominant and submissive roles in the bedroom without getting too crazy.

Are You A Dominant Personality?

Think about what turns you on – do you like being in a position of power over your partner? Do you like to tell your partner what to do to you? If so, you may have a dominant personality. If you know you have a little bit of a dominant personality, take it a step further in the bedroom and really bring out your alter ego. No, you don’t have to bring out the whips and chains. Here are some easy ways to experiment with domination without going too far.

  • Order your partner around. Have them do sexy things for you or to you.
  • Try light spanking. Tell your partner that they’ve been “naughty” and need reprimanding.
  • Experiment with a little bondage. A silk tie makes a great blindfold or impromptu handcuffs. You don’t have to bring out the heavy duty rope to have a little fun with tying your partner up or taking away their sense of sight.

Are You A Submissive Personality?

If the idea of being dominant over your partner just doesn’t do it for you, but the idea of them being a little dominant over you intrigues you, you may be more of a submissive personality. Think about receiving a spanking from your lover or having your lover tell you what to do to them. Does it turn you on? If the idea sparks some interest but you’ve never tried it before, here are some ways to start to bring out your submissive personality.

  • Tell your partner that you’ve been very, very “bad” and need to be reprimanded. See if they catch your drift.
  • Let your partner gently tie your hands behind your back while they tease you, leaving you helpless to stop what they’re doing to you.
  • Get on your hands and knees in front of your partner. Crawl towards him slowly before unzipping his pants for a blowjob.
  • Let your partner use sex toys on you. This can be even more fun with a blindfold because you’re not sure what they’re going to use next!

Playing Pretend

You may think that playing pretend is for kids, but you can turn it into sex games to make it a more adult activity. Think about different roles that would work with your inner personality. For example:

Fun Role Play For A Dominant Personality

  • Have your partner be a “dog” while you be the owner. This is a great role to use when you want your partner to perform oral sex on you.
  • Act out a teacher/student fantasy. Give your partner a test and then tell them that they failed it and you need to “tutor” them on how to do it correctly.
  • Be a dirty cop. “Arrest” your partner for a crime and keep them hostage until they “earn” their way to freedom.
  • Try being a sexy nurse. Have your partner assume the role of a wounded patient that needs your immediate “medical” attention.
  • Capitalize on the recent craze in vampires and approach your partner wearing a pair of sexy fangs. Let them know you’re not out to suck their blood though – and you can prove it by showing them what you do want to suck on!

Fun Role Play For A Submissive Personality

  • Act as a French maid, or a maid of any kind. Clean up after your partner, or “serve” them sexually.
  • Try adopting the personality of a “school girl.” This can be with or without an outfit, but an outfit will make you look and feel more submissive to your lover in this role.
  • Look for a Princess Leia slave costume and act out the role with your partner. Surprisingly, a ton of guys – especially Star Wars fans – dig this sex fantasy.
  • Have your partner act out the part of a sexy firefighter that rescues you from a burning building or from being trapped in a car.
  • Don an Indian girl costume and have your partner assume the role of “John Smith.”
  • Be Little Red Riding Hood while your partner acts as  the wolf – and completely takes you over.

Bring In Costumes

While you may feel a little shy about wearing a sexy costume, but even just a few props can make the role play feel more realistic and be a lot more fun! Even home made costumes can really make a difference! Consider getting a few things to make your role play more fun, such as a red cloak to be Little Red Riding Hood or a sexy police costume to act out the role of a dirty cop. If you can’t get your hands on an adult costume, here are some easy things you can grab from your house and turn into a sexy prop:

  • A white dress shirt can be tied at the waist and paired with a skirt for a “sexy school girl” outfit.
  • A bikini with a few silk ivy leaves glued to it can easily make a sexy “Eve” costume for an Adam and Eve role play.
  • A cut up sheet can suffice as a Pocahontas or Indian outfit.
  • Check out thrift stores in your area – you’ll be surprised at what you can find if you use your imagination!

How To Make Her Fantasize About You In 3 Easy Steps

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Sex of all kinds is fun, but it takes some fantasizing to really get into truly great, awesome sex. To have the kind of sex that will make your toes curl and your knees go weak (for both you and your partner), you have to get your girl to start thinking about you sexually. Instead of fantasizing about guys that aren’t you, you need to get your girl to create a fantasy with you in it by being your woman’s ultimate dream guy. Here’s how.

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Fantasy Is Crucial To Great Sex

The physical aspect of sex certainly feels fantastic, but that’s not all there is when it comes to getting busy with your lover. Fantasies are incredibly important to sex that is out of this world, especially from a woman’s perspective. A guy can simply have intercourse and completely enjoy it for what it is, while a woman’s mind must be involved for your partner to even become sexually aroused in the first place.

By getting your lover to start having fantasies with you as the main subject, you’re getting the mind and imagination working. Stimulating your lover’s imagination is crucial to getting your partner to enjoy sex (and to really let go of inhibitions so YOU can enjoy it too) and it’s extremely difficult to get a woman turned on without getting the imagination involved first. If she’s using you to fuel sex fantasies, she’s halfway turned on before you ever hit the sheets.

Foreplay Isn’t Just Physical

Foreplay isn’t just about giving your partner oral sex or kissing them passionately. A huge part of foreplay before sex is the anticipation, the excitement and the fantasies about what is going to happen. That’s actually what makes having sex with someone new so awesome – you’re excited about it and the anticipation is sometimes better than the actual sex itself.

Step 1: Become Your Partner’s Fantasy

Start by finding out what kind of guy really trips your lover’s trigger. Does she love the idea of a police officer, who can assert his authority? Or does she like the idea of a different kind of man in uniform, such as a mechanic or a handyman? Find out whatever your girl’s fantasy is and develop a separate sexual persona that involves some kind of role play with the type of man that really gets your partner off.

Doing this will make it much easier for your girl to think of you sexually if she can see you in the role that she’s already attracted to. Essentially, you are becoming the man of your woman’s fantasies.

Step 2: Get A Great Body

A lot of people may think that focusing too much on physical appearance is shallow, but having a great body is actually incredibly important if you want your girl to think about having sex with you. The reality is, you care about how you look, she cares about how she looks and you both care about how you look to each other.

Having a great body will also make you feel much more confident about the way you look. You’ll be able to let go of your inhibitions more easily, and feel more confident when your partner looks at you in all of your naked glory. Being in great physical shape also gives you more energy and stamina to last longer in bed! Feeling great about the way you look and feeling strong and healthy on the inside will make sex that much more pleasurable and it’s simply just a better quality of life.

Step 3: Master The Skill Of Dirty Talk

Understanding how to get your partner aroused is an important part of getting her to think of you. Since a woman gets aroused with the mind first, work on mastering the skill of dirty talk. Dirty talk is like an “on” switch to the part of your woman’s brain that processes sex and even a few simple phrases such as, “I can’t wait until you get home tonight” or “You’ll never guess what I’m going to do to you as soon as I get my hands on you.”

What you’re doing here is turning the switch on and then leaving your partner to imagine what you’re going to do until you actually get to do it. You’ll also want to master the skill of emotional talk, such as telling your lover how she steals your breath when she walks into the room or how much you love the fact that she’s yours and only yours…to do with what you please. Be creative and come up with phrases that will really get your girl thinking – of YOU!

Porn: How To Make Your Own (And Make It Great)

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Making a porn flick with your lover sounds really hot, but it can lack a lot of luster when you play it back after the fact. You may not look the way you want to, the angle of the camera may not flatter you or things that you thought would translate well on screen don’t. If you want to do a porn with your partner, there are a few technical things to keep in mind when you’re making the movie. Here’s how you can be sure your amateur porn looks as hot as it was doing it!

Watch A Few Porn Videos Together

Sit down with your partner and watch a few adult movies together. Figure out what you like and what you don’t like. Decide what looks hot and looks like you might want to try, and decide what you want to keep off screen. For example, don’t videotape your first time engaging in anal sex. That just won’t go well. Figure out what you want to do first, next and then how you want to finish up. Don’t be afraid to write it down. Professionals have a script and a storyboard, why can’t you?

Consider Hiring A Trusted Friend

One of the best things about real porn is that the camera goes in and out, focusing on different aspects of what the couple on screen is doing and grabbing those awesome close ups. You just aren’t going to achieve that with a standing tripod. If you want one camera angle, or don’t have anyone that you feel close enough with to ask this favor, a tripod will be fine.

However, if you want a film that turns out really great, consider hiring a close friend that you trust (perhaps even one with some knowledge of video cameras and filming techniques) to film you and your lover getting down. The finished product will most likely turn out much, much better and you’ll get views of you and your partner that you’ve never had before.

Invest In A Good Camera

No, the video camera on your cell phone isn’t going to work this time. If you don’t already have a good video camera, it may be time to invest in one before you start filming an amateur porn. It may be a pricey investment, however, you’ll be very glad you spent the money when you view the end result. Poor quality video cameras tend to be grainy or pixelated, making it difficult for you to see what’s really going on in the movie. When detail is important, a good camera is essential. Why would you want to tape a homemade porn when you’re not going to be able to see saliva on your partner’s penis as you give him a blowjob or vice versa when he’s giving you oral sex?

Make Sure You Have The Right Lighting

Lighting plays a very important part in any movie, and porn is no exception. Porn lighting can be tricky though, because you want enough light to make sure the camera picks up on everything, but you don’t want the fluorescent kind that highlights your every flaw. You can rent some lighting setups from your local rental agency, or you can purchase a few cheap floodlights from a hardware or home building store.

Buy An Outfit (Or Two)

Don’t wear your old, ratty pajamas when you shoot a homemade porn. Instead, spend a few extra bucks and get something nice for both you and your partner to wear. Lingerie, of course, looks great on camera, but it’s very important that you find something that flatters your body type. If you can fit into a garter belt and a pair of stockings without a muffin top hanging out, good for you. Go for it! However, if you’re a little bigger, you’ll want to buy something that flatters you.

Not so fond of your stomach? Try a baby doll top with sheer, filmy organza that flutters over your stomach and rests on your hips. Don’t like your arms but think your legs are bangin? Splurge on a minidress with tight long sleeves that rests just below where your butt and your legs meet. High heels or stilettos are a must for women, simply because no matter what you’re wearing, they’ll make your legs look fantastic.

Grooming

Grooming before shooting a porn is important, because you want to look your best. Of course, hair and makeup is a must but what about body makeup? Find a color of concealer or foundation that matches your body’s skin tone and use it to cover up blemishes on your legs and arms. You’d be surprised at how a bruise that you didn’t even know you had shows up on film after the fact.

You’ll also want to trim or shave your pubic hair, legs and armpits. Men may want to trim or shave their chest hair, depending on what you want to look like on film.

Use Editing Software

So your video is filmed and you’re ready to make the finished product. Consider purchasing or downloading video editing software to help you in the process. With editing software, you really can turn something mediocre into something fabulous. Just being able to cut out the scenes that you’re not happy with is well worth it right there, not counting the countless other cool features that can give your video that “wow” factor.

Above all, make sure that you’re filming a porn with someone that you trust and don’t allow copies to be made that aren’t expressly agreed upon by both of you. Remember to have fun and if you and your partner split, make sure the tape and any copies (digital or otherwise) are destroyed. Next time you and your lover want to heat things up, throw in your homemade porn and watch you and your lover get it on!

BDSM – What Is Erotic Humiliation?

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“BDSM” stands for “bondage, domination, sadism and masochism.” However, this is just a blanket term for many different styles of kinky sex, including fetishes and roleplay, as well as less common activities such as erotic asphyxiation or erotic humilation.

While erotic humiliation isn’t generally as dangerous as activities like erotic asphyxiation, it can be just as fascinating to see exactly what gets different people off. What is erotic humiliation, what does it involve and how would you introduce it or an alternative in the bedroom?

What Is Erotic Humilation?

Erotic humilation is a form of BDSM defined by Wikipedia as the “consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity.”

Depending on whether someone has a dominant or submissive personality, the act of being humiliated or humiliating another during sex can be very arousing for both partners. Rarely does a person enjoy both humiliating and being humiliated and many sexual partnerships are formed because one partner prefers domination while the other prefers submission.

The Difference Between Humiliation And Domination

Many people may confuse erotic humiliation with domination and other forms of BDSM, because the roles are very similar. There is, however, a simple distinction between the two. Those who enjoy dominating others enjoy “commanding” or “ordering” their submissive partner do do something, and the submissive partner enjoys being “commanded” to do something. With humiliation, the dominant partner enjoys verbally or physically belittling their partner, and the submissive partner enjoys being belittled and humiliated just as much.

Verbal Means Of Erotic Humiliation

Depending on the agreement between the dominant and submissive partners, verbal belittlement may or may not be an accepted part of humiliation. However, it is much more common to see verbal belittlement in a humiliation situation than a great deal of physical humiliation. Verbal belittlement during sex might include:

  • Being a human “pet,” complete with collar and leash. This may include eating or drinking out of a pet bowl or off the floor.
  • Name calling such as “slave” or “whore”
  • Belittling the body, suggesting that it is “dirty” or “ugly”
  • Men who enjoy being humiliated may enjoy their partners belittling their penis size
  • Asking for permission to eat or use the restroom
  • Being verbally mocked or ridiculed

Physical Means Of Erotic Humiliation

When couples desire more than verbal belittlement offers, they may decide to move into more physical means of humiliation. This can be something as mild as spanking or can be very extreme. When combined with sexual activities and verbal belittlement, the humiliation factor can be very powerful. Many dom/sub couples may choose to forgo the physical aspect, or they may participate with a lighter attitude. Physical humiliation might include activities like:

  • Being slapped on the rear or in the face
  • Having the hair pulled
  • Ejaculating in the face or on the body
  • Being required to perform oral sex on the dominant partner without getting anything in return
  • Being forced to worship the body of the dominant partner
  • Physical punishment such as spanking or whipping when the submissive partner is “disobedient”
  • Torture of the nipples or the genitals

How To Approach Erotic Humilation In Your Relationship

If you’re interested in erotic humilation, you may be unsure of how to approach the subject with your partner. Remember that while being open and honest about your sex fantasies is extremely important, going slow and giving your partner time to warm up to the idea is even more so.

The first step is to determine which of you has a dominant personality and which of you has a submissive one. If you and your lover are both dominant or both submissive, erotic humiliation is generally something that won’t work well in your sexual relationship. Ease into it slowly, by introducing one new concept at a time and only when your partner seems ready for it.

If You’re A Sub

  • Offer to be you lover’s sex slave for the day and see what happens
  • Tell your partner you’d love to be spanked during sex
  • Come to bed wearing a collar
  • Experiment with handcuffs and bondage
  • Ask him to call you his “slut” or his “whore”

If You’re A Dom

  • Pinch your partner’s nipples during sex (not too hard without the green light first)
  • Ask your partner if they’ll be your sex slave for the day
  • Go shopping with your partner for sexy accessories, like collars or tiaras
  • Ask your partner to give you a blowjob or go down on you without reciprocation
  • Ask your partner to let you ejaculate on their face

Special Note: Never be derogatory or dominant towards your partner without their knowing and consent first. Not letting your lover in on what’s going on before verbally belittling them or physically humiliating them will only end very, very badly.

Pubic Humiliation

Another aspect of erotic humiliation which may be arousing to both partners is public humiliation. Sometimes, consenting partners will use verbal belittlement in public and very rarely will they humiliate physically in public. However, some couples may be part of groups that also enjoy this activity and may have “sex parties” in where one or more subs are humiliated in front of the crowd.

Alternatives To Extreme Humiliation

If the idea of humiliating your partner or being humiliated turns you on, but you’re not ready to go to the extreme with it, start small and work your way up. Alternatives to more aggressive forms of humiliating might be:

  • Nibbling or biting your partner
  • Spanking or asking to be spanked
  • Light bondage
  • Dirty talk with a dash of humiliation thrown in
  • Online or long distance humiliating

Best Kink Articles Of 2010

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The great thing about kink is that there’s always something new, fun and different to try. Kinky sex never has to be the same way twice (that is, unless you want it to be) and the only limits to what you can do with your partner in the bedroom are your imagination – and of course, a few laws that ban the really scary stuff like bestiality or pedophilia.

If you and your partner are both consenting adults, you can pretty much do anything you want behind closed doors! You can experiment with kink if you’ve never done it before by trying a little light bondage with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs or role playing your favorite fantasies. You might be surprised at how much fun you and your lover can have if you learn to let go a little! If you’ve already made the dive into kink and are ready to try something a little hotter, try using a mouth gag or whip.

You can also explore really different fetishes, like a diaper fetish or domination. BDSM and kink is all about what turns you and your partner on – regardless of what anyone else considers to be “strange” or “weird.” This past year, we’ve done some research on the kinkiest fantasies and the best dirty sex tips that are out there. Here’s our top picks for the best kink tips of the year!