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Sex – What Guys REALLY Want (And What They’re Afraid To Tell You)

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When it comes to sex, every guy has their preferences. However, there are some things that pretty much every guy wants a woman to do. The thing is, there are so few guys that actually want to tell their lovers what they want! Ladies, while reading his mind is pretty much impossible, take these cues to find out what your guy likes – and then surprise him with his secret sex fantasy!

They Want A Girl Who Will Masturbate (In Front Of Him)

Some women feel that it’s the guys’ job to make her feel good. Most guys don’t have any problem providing their partner with a mind blowing orgasm, however, sometimes they wish that a girl would take charge of her own sexual pleasure. Ladies, it requires at least a little effort on your part to get yourself in the mood, so why not take it a little further?

A lot of guys (okay, most) would love to watch their girl masturbate, especially if she had no idea he was there watching. What is so hot about this is that during female masturbation, he gets to watch you touch yourself exactly how you like to be touched. There’s no guessing if it’s the right thing or it feels good. He gets to see first hand what really turns you on and it will turn him on like wild fire!

They Want To Watch – In The Mirror

Guys are visual creatures – that’s pretty much a given. A lot of men enjoy watching porn for that specific reason, but does that mean that they enjoy watching the other women because they’re hotter than you or because they turn him on more than you? Absolutely not! In fact, your guy would probably give his eye teeth to actually watch you and him getting it on!

Filming a naughty video together is great fun, but there’s always the risk that it will get out, especially if you and your man don’t work out in the end. Instead, surprise him by installing a full length mirror in your bedroom – the bigger, the better. Allow him to watch you getting it on – he’ll love getting to watch it in real time, as it’s happening and he’ll love getting to feel exactly what he’s seeing. Try lots of different sex positions so he can see you from every angle.

They Want A Girl Who Is Not Afraid To Get Dirty

Let’s face it – guys don’t want to get it on with a prude. If all you’re into is the missionary position, he’s probably not going to be that into you. Almost every guy wants to get busy with a girl who isn’t afraid to bring on the kink! Try out a little light bondage to get started, and then move into something a little naughtier.

Whether you’re indulging his secret sex fetish or coming to bed wearing nothing but tall, black stilettos and a rhinestone necklace, he’s going to love that you’re showing off your naughty girl side.

They Want A Girl To Take Control

Sometimes guys want to have the reigns, but other times they want the girls to be in control over what happens and when. They just want to lie back and relax, while you savor every inch of their body. Surprise him one night by tying him up (this is optional if he’s not into bondage) and having your way with him! Let him lie there and get a good look at you while you give him oral sex, then go for the woman-on-top or reverse cowgirl sex position, depending on what he likes to look at best – your breasts or your butt.

They Want A Girl Who Will Give A Blowjob – And Likes It

Sure, most girls will give a guy a blowjob. Some won’t. The true gem, however, is the girl who loves giving a guy a blowjob! Blowjobs are probably in the #1 spot on the list of “Sex Acts That Guys Can’t Live Without.” Think about this – how enjoyable is it when a guy goes down on you like it’s a chore and like he really doesn’t want to be down there? It kind of puts a damper on the whole thing, doesn’t it?

Give your guy a blowjob like you never have before. Act like you’re starving to death or it will be the end of the world if you don’t get him in your mouth right now. Make sure that he knows you’re really enjoying going down on him by making pleasure noises while you lick and suck him, and making eye contact with him. He’ll really appreciate your enthusiasm and he just very well might return the favor!

They Want Rough Sex

Every guy wants to pound a girl into orgasmic frenzy, but very few men will actually tell their partners that. This is usually because he’s afraid to hurt her.  If you enjoy rough sex, don’t be shy about it with your lover. Next time you have sex with your man, assume the doggy style position and tell him that you want it fast and you want it hard. He’ll happily oblige!

Sometimes rough sex can become unsafe, so it’s important to take a few precautions first. Decide beforehand on a safe word so that if it becomes too much, you can use the word to let your partner know that you want it to stop immediately. Don’t forget to use lots of lube!

They Want A Girl Who Has Confidence

Confidence is sexy! Unfortunately, lots of women – no matter how hot or how beautiful they are – are insecure about themselves and the way they look and have low self esteem. However, what your guy sees when he looks at you (especially when he looks at you naked) is not the same as what you see in the mirror. Let go of your insecurities and inhibitions and look at yourself the way your partner looks at you. See what he sees and show it off! Men love women who have the confidence to show their bodies off during sex, because men love naked women – period.

What is Fisting? Is It Safe?

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Rough sex takes on an entirely different meaning when it comes to fisting. Fisting is a sexual activity that is gaining in popularity, but there are still lots of questions that surround it. Is it safe to do, or should it be avoided? Are there ways to make fisting safer? Here is what you want to know about fisting and how you can make it as safe as possible.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNqhONOINag[/youtube]

What Is Fisting?

Fisting is considered to fall within the “BDSM” category of sex acts and simply put, it is the act of putting the hand, all the way up to the wrist or forearm, into the vagina or rectum. This is most easily done by forming the hand into a “duck bill” shape where the thumb and all the fingers meet (resembling a duck bill) for easier insertion. Then, the fingers can be moved into a fist shape or wiggled around once the hand is inside.

Fisting can be done alone during masturbation or during sex with a partner to create unique sensations for both men and women.

Is Fisting Safe?

When done properly, fisting can theoretically be safe and even enjoyable for both the giving and receiving partner. However, doing it properly is the key to making sure fisting doesn’t cause bodily harm or damage. Here’s how to keep fisting safe and fun:

  • Go slow. It’s very important that you go very slow when inserting the hand and wrist into a vagina or up the rectum. Going to fast may cause extreme discomfort or pain for your partner, and it may also cause some of the delicate vaginal or anal tissues to stretch too much and tear.
  • Use lots and lots of lube. Water based lube is best for easy clean up, but silicone based lube can be used as well. Do not attempt to try fisting yourself or your partner without a very generous amount of lube! Without lube, you can pretty much guarantee it won’t be comfortable for your partner and the risk of tearing goes up dramatically without the proper amount of lubrication.
  • Don’t use a “pumping” motion. You want to move your hand around during fisting, without taking it all the way out and pumping air into the vagina or rectum. This can cause air embolisms, which can be very dangerous and even cause death.
  • Allow for lots of warm up time and foreplay. When a woman is fully aroused and excited after foreplay, her vagina will relax more, making it easier to insert larger objects.
  • If it hurts, stop!

Fisting The Anus

Fisting the vagina is much safer than fisting the anus. Vaginas are very elastic and made to stretch and accommodate very large objects, because they are designed to give birth. A baby’s head is much larger than a fist, so you can rest assured that after fisting the vagina in a safe way, everything will go back to its normal size and shape.

That said, the rectum is not designed to accommodate objects as large as a fist. Even if you use lots and lots of lube, fisting the rectum can cause pain, discomfort at best and tearing or bleeding at worst. Repeated fisting of the rectum will change the size and shape of the anus, possibly leading to the need for adult diapers in the future because the anal sphincter has lost enough elasticity that it can no longer keep waste inside.

How To Make Anal Fisting Safer

While anal fisting isn’t considered a “safe” sexual activity, there are some things you can do to make it as safe as it can be.

  • Start small and work your way up. Start with small anal sex toys, such as tiny butt plugs, and work your way up to the bigger stuff.
  • Have a “safe” word. If it hurts too much, your partner will use the safe word so you’ll know to stop immediately.

Other Safety Tips To Consider

While taking the above steps to make fisting safer, here are some additional things to think about before you get started.

  • Trim your fingernails. Scrub underneath them and trim them, so there are no sharp corners, hangnails or dirt underneath.
  • Consider using a latex glove. Keep your hands clean and your partner’s anus or vagina bacteria free by simply slipping on a latex glove before fisting.
  • Never use a “numbing” lube. If it hurts, you need to feel it because that means you’re going too far! If you use numbing lubes, you may tear or bleed without realizing it.

Sex Acts That Will Scare Her Away – For Good

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Sex with your girl can be super fun – or it can be super scary for her if you aren’t careful to keep things from going too far. It may seem like common sense to stay away from anal sex or rape fantasies the first several times you have sex with a girl, but you’d be surprised at what guys will try without thinking about how a girl will react to it. While some chicks dig a little BDSM in the bedroom, there are a few things that you’ll want to avoid if you don’t want to scare her away for good.

Scary Looking Sex Toys

Some sex toys are fine to use with a woman you haven’t been with for very long, such as slender or bullet style vibrators, lubes and feather ticklers. These are fairly benign and probably won’t freak a girl out or offend her, even if she’s never used sex toys before. What a girl doesn’t want to see in your bedroom are huge dildos, anal beads or whips. Large contraptions that look like they could service several people at once will definitely scare your girl off. Until you really get to know her and talk to her about what sex toys she likes, keep the scary stuff in the drawer of your nightstand.

Forced Sex

It’s true – some girls have rape fantasies. Granted, they are few and far between but there are women out there who enjoy the idea of forced sex. However, these women are generally only comfortable having fun with their fantasies with someone they know well, trust a lot and have been with for a long time. Don’t assume that any girl will enjoy forced sex, because it’s much more likely that she won’t – and she may assume that you’re really trying to date rape her. At best, your partner is going to be scared away – and at worst, you may face rape charges.

Dirty Talk That Goes Too Far

Most girls like to know that they’re pleasing the guy they’re with. That means, don’t be shy on the sexy moans, noises and gasps that let her know you’re really into what she’s doing. Even a little dirty talk can be acceptable for many women, if you’re telling her what a good job she’s doing sending you over the edge to orgasm. What is not okay when it comes to dirty talk is when you call her names (such as “bitch” or “slut”) or when you talk about doing really strange or scary things (such as wanting to pretend she’s your sister or that she’s an animal).

Anal Sex – If She’s Not Expecting It

While a lot of girls are into anal sex and anal play, it’s definitely a line you don’t want to cross until you talk to the girl you’re with about how she feels about anal sex. Some guys think that it’s hotter if they surprise a girl with a finger up her bum, but in truth, it will probably just freak her out and may make her want to stop having sex with you all together. If you really want to try anal sex with a girl, wait until you’ve done it with her several times and talk to her about it beforehand.

Hitting Or Choking Her

It is almost never acceptable to hit or choke a woman during sex. Light slapping is sometimes okay if you get permission first, but actual hitting is something just about every girl is going to find absolutely detestable. The same goes for choking – erotic asphyxiation is dangerous and will definitely scare your woman and possibly hurt her if she’s not expecting it. Hitting and choking are just two things that need to be kept off limits for you and your partner’s safety.

Fetish Play That You Haven’t Talked About First

While pretty much everyone has a fetish of some kind or another, some people find other fetishes (ones beside their own) very strange and weird. Don’t break out your fetish supplies until you’ve discussed them with your partner, and definitely don’t spring them on her without asking her permission first. Avoid dirty talk about your fetish, and keep it under wraps until you’ve been with her several times and have gotten to know her well. For her to want to try a fetish with you, she’ll need to trust you and feel very comfortable around you sexually. It usually takes a while for girls to warm up to guys this way, so cool your heels on introducing her to your fetish for awhile.

Rough Sex and BDSM – Going Beyond The Occasional Spanking

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Rough sex is an extremely popular but largely underground sexual fantasy. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen much, it just means people are usually afraid to talk about it.

And like with most things that are driven underground (prostitution being a great example), it’s hard to find good, safe tips and information… so you’re left to experimentation.

Rough sex is largely about mind games, dominance, and control – not just the physical

While many people think of rough sex as having mainly to do with physical aggression, when you truly get into it you’ll realize the most important aspect is generally the mental one. The mind games, the dominant and submissive relationship that quickly develops into total trust and absolute control.

Is make up sex just an excuse to have rough sex?

As amazing as it sounds, some couples actually have arguments and fights just so they have a socially acceptable excuse for what’s commonly known as make up sex (read: rough, wild, and passionate sex).

Here’s a question from a couple in Wyoming hoping to spice up their sex lives by experimenting with rough sex.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My partner and I have started to get into rough sex, but as far as we have gone with it, it’s just him pulling my hair and spanking me. I have tried to find other stuff online that we could add in, but really can’t find much. Any suggestions?

— Ellie, Wyoming

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6ixQk3EZic[/youtube]

Explore your sexual fantasies together

One of the wonderful things about being a couple is that you have a friend, a partner in crime, someone to share your experiences and the joys of life with.

Talk with your partner and share your fantasies…

It’s very important to explore and discover your fantasies together with your partner… many people keep their fantasies to themselves, which is a recipe for a boring sex life.

Watch some erotic movies TOGETHER and talk about what turns each of you on

Pay attention to the feelings that surface early on, and what excites you. Even if it’s just a hint of an idea or a feeling, run with it. Hard core porn doesn’t usually do much for women, but there are plenty of erotic thrillers that should do the trick. Movies like 9 1/2 Weeks are a great example of a dominant / submissive relationship evolving. Here are some erotic movies to check out.

Safety is a very important in rough sex play

Rough sex is often about pushing and breaking through boundaries, which is why safety is so important to discuss UP FRONT.

Decide on a safe word

This is a word that actually means “stop right now, no matter what”. It can be any word you agree on, but it’s best for it to have nothing to do with “stop” or “don’t do that”. This is because in rough sex play, pushing these boundaries often includes the idea of forced sex, etc. Thus “stop” doesn’t necessarily mean much. Something like “flower”, “coffee”, or “butterfly” is much more effective. Be creative, and make sure you both remember it.

Set a few simple ground rules that will NOT be broken

Rough sex is often about pushing and breaking boundaries, so you really can’t make a lot of rules around it. But agree ahead of time if there are a few specific things you ABSOLUTELY do NOT want to do. Remember, this is all about pushing boundaries and head games, so don’t set too many rules. Just a few so that you can really let go and have fun without worrying about going to far and spoiling the moment.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

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Here’s a common scenario…

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together, we rarely have sex. We are becoming more like best friends and I’m scared the passion is fading.

I don’t want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it. What can I do?

Watch this short video to find out how you can spice up your sex life and bring back that spark you had in the beginning…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pupUg1sSmW0[/youtube]