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Help! Anal Sex Is The ONLY Way His Penis Stays Hard!

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While a great number of people prefer not to have anal sex or never even bother to try it, many others enjoy anal sex as a part of their sexual repertoire.

Anal sex can be fun and intriguing if you’re smart about it, but what if your partner becomes addicted to anal sex? What do you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful emotional relationship as well as a wonderful physical relationship. He recently convinced me to try anal sex. I hated it at first but after giving it a few extra shots it was ok. He loves it so much! So most of the time I let him finish there. Lately I’ve noticed that if we skip the anal and just stick to vaginal, he can’t finish and just ends up loosing his erection. Am I not tight enough anymore in comparison?? I am 20 and he is 32… Is there a possibility that he is loosing his drive?

— Frustrated Girl

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Is This A Medical Issue?

Enjoying anal sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Lots of people enjoy anal sex! However, if your partner is wanting to have a lot of anal sex, you might be concerned. Even more so, if your partner is losing their erection if they’re not having anal sex, you might wonder what you’re doing wrong or if there’s something wrong with your partner.

Talk to your partner about it. Find out how they feel. They might not know that you don’t want to have as much anal sex as they do, so you need to talk about it with them. You might be able to find a compromise between anal and traditional sex.

If your partner is consistently losing his erection, that could be another issue altogether. If this is the case, consider seeing a medical doctor and even a sex therapist to find out what might be the issue.

Out, Not In

Remember that the anal canal was created to be an exit, not an entrance. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it now and again, but you certainly don’t want to make a huge habit out of it. The anal canal is not self lubricating meaning you will need to use lots and lots of lubrication during anal sex.

Avoid using sharp or large objects during anal sex, or the anus could tear or perforate, causing you lots of trouble in the long run. Having anal sex means being safe about it, and respecting the fact that it wasn’t designed for the purpose of sex.

When Enough Is Enough

There might come a point where you feel like your partner is asking you for more anal sex than you’d like to have. That’s okay, but it’s important that you speak up about it! If you find through your doctor that your partner has no medical issues that would cause them to want anal sex more often, try to find ways to sexually satisfy your partner without anal sex.

There are lots of different sex toys on the market, ranging from the tame to the extreme. Visit a toy store together and browse through things until you and your partner find something you might like to try. You might even find something you like better than anal sex!

All in all, anal sex can definitely be fun if you and your partner both enjoy it and you’re safe and smart about it. While you probably don’t want to be having anal sex all the time, you can certainly save it for that special occasion or for times when you and your partner are feeling especially frisky.

There’s nothing wrong with it as long as you’re both on the same page about your wants, needs and expectations as far as anal sex is concerned!

Is It Okay to Have Anal Sex Without Lube?

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Anal sex, when done correctly, can be a source of pleasure for both men and women. It can break the sense of what is “taboo” and help spice up your sex life as well as giving both you and your partner new and exciting sensations.

However, if done incorrectly, anal sex can cause damage and infection. Without proper lubrication, you and your partner can get into some serious trouble with anal sex!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am a sadist, and my girlfriend is a masochist. We both agreed that we wanted to have anal sex without lube.

My fear is that I could cause serious damage that way, because as you stated in a previous segment about anal sex, it’s not meant to be an in-hole and it doesn’t lubricate itself. So, is it possible to have anal sex without lube and not cause serious damage? Or is that just an impossible fantasy?

–Anonymous, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G80U_9ZCOGg[/youtube]

Tearing The Membranes

Anal sex is somewhat difficult to begin with, especially for the inexperienced. When having anal sex, it is extremely important to use lots of lubrication to make sure there is no friction. Keep in mind that the anal cavity is quite unlike the vagina. It doesn’t self lubricate like the vagina does.

Without external lubrication, the friction between the penis and the anal cavity can cause tearing. The rectum itself could easily tear, as well as the inner membranes of the lower intestine.

Remember, the anal cavity wasn’t built for sex! It was made for the expulsion of waste. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it though, if you take the proper precautions.

For example, the mouth was designed for eating but that generally doesn’t stop people from having oral sex. With oral sex though, people take the proper precautions and make sure they don’t choke their partner with their penis.

Anal sex is similar, but there are a few more precautions to take. Using lots of lube helps keep the penis and anal cavity moist so there is little to no tearing. Remember to go slow when having anal sex and if it hurts too much, stop!

Infection

Tearing the anal membranes is of special concern because the anal cavity is filled with lots of unfriendly bacteria. In the event of an injury, the bacteria will go straight to the wound and severely impede healing.

Just imagine rubbing feces into a cut on your arm. You wouldn’t want to do that, would you? It’s the same concept with anal injuries. You don’t want them if you can help it.

The bacteria from feces can keep the wound from healing properly and it can also cause infection. If the tear is in the right place and big enough, it can cause fecal matter to leak into your abdominal cavity, causing serious health issues and possibly requiring surgery. Anal sex isn’t something you take lightly!

Take Proper Precautions

If you plan on having anal sex, use every precaution you can. Always use plenty of lubrication and you can protect yourself even further by having your partner wear a condom.

Never insert a penis or other object into a vagina after it has been inserted into the anal cavity without washing it thoroughly. Wash your hands and all toys or other body parts involved in hot, soapy water after you’re finished.

Be careful, and go slow at first, especially if you’re inexperienced. It might be a good idea to come up with a “code word” that means stop, in the event that you’re experiencing too much pain. Never force anal sex! If you are safe and smart, anal sex can become a pleasurable addition to your sex repertoire. If done incorrectly, anal sex can cause you a lot of damage, money and health problems.

It’s always better to be safe and smart!

Should I Really Be Worried About STDs?

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When it comes to sexual activity, it can sometimes be confusing as to what can transmit sexually transmitted diseases and what can’t. What types of STD’s can be contracted during which kinds of sexual activity and when are you completely safe?

If you have oral sex can you common STDs like Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or Herpes?

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Sexual Activity and STDs.

There’s a reason they’re called “sexually transmitted diseases.” You can contract them through virtually any type of sexual activity, including oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal intercourse.

Some sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, HIV and Hepatitis C can be transmitted via blood to blood contact such as receiving a tattoo or piercing with a needle that isn’t sterile. When you have sexual contact or blood to blood contact with someone, you put yourself at risk for contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease. How can you protect yourself?

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C can be spread via blood to blood contact or through vaginal and penile secretions. This includes semen and pre-ejaculation secretions.

The best way to protect yourself against these types of STDs is to use condoms and dental dams while having oral sex, anal sex and vaginal intercourse,  make sure any tattoo or piercing artist uses a sterilized needle and don’t use intravenous drugs.

Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis and Other Infections

These types of sexually transmitted diseases are known as viral infections. They are spread by any sexual contact at all, but not through blood to blood contact.

While these are particularly unsavory STDs, they are most often treated with an antibiotic regimen and can be cured. If left alone long enough,  a Chlamydia, Gonorrhea or Syphilis infection can cause a great deal of other bodily damage, including muscle and brain damage, and more commonly sterility.

To protect against these types of sexually transmitted diseases, you should use a condom or a dental dam during any type of sexual activity. Oral sex should also be protected against because viral and bacterial STDs can set up host in the mouth and throat.

Other Types Of STDs

Other types of STD’s include genital herpes and genital warts and are more difficult to protect against than other types of sexually transmitted diseases. As these types of STDs can actually take up host in the pubic area of the genitals, a condom or a dental dam may not be enough to protect yourself from contracting one.

This is where STD testing comes in handy. A regular doctor’s exam can rule out any of these types of infections. Don’t have sexual contact with someone who is experiencing an outbreak of genital herpes and genital warts and don’t have sexual contact with anyone who appears to have any type of sores on their genitals.

If you are worried about contracting sexually transmitted diseases, it is important to take as many steps towards safety as you can. Regularly get tested for STDs and make sure you wear condoms and use dental dams when having sex.

If performing erotic massage, you can wear latex or vinyl gloves and if having anal sex or rimming, you can use a dental dam or a square of saran wrap. Know who you’re with and who they’ve been with and always be aware of what you’re doing. If you’re smart and safe, you can significantly reduce your risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

Can I Get STDs From Masturbation?

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Masturbation is a great pleasure for both men and women. It can relieve stress and satisfy sexual desires without having intercourse with someone else.

You might be curious, however, if masturbation falls in the same category as sex, oral sex and erotic massage when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases.

While you can’t transmit or contract STD’s from masturbation or toys, unless you share your toys with someone else, does that mean you’re safe from everything?

If I masturbate without toys (just with my hands) can I get and STDs or other sicknesses?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmYMBgOoyT8[/youtube]

The Skinny On STD’s

Sexually transmitted diseases are spread when an infected person shares bodily secretions or blood with another person. This usually happens during sex, but it can be transmitted in other ways as well, as long as secretions are shared. While you can contract a sexually transmitted disease from another person if they’re infected, it’s very difficult to contract a sexually transmitted disease if you’re simply masturbating.

This would only happen if your hands happened to come into contact with an infected person’s bodily secretions and these secretions made their way into your genitals by being passed on from your hands. This can actually be prevented with simple hand washing. In light of this, however, masturbation is the second safest sex next to no sex at all. If you’ve never had any sexual partners, you can’t transmit STD’s to yourself through masturbation, as well as if you’ve recently been tested for STD’s and haven’t had a sexual partner since.

Simply put, if your hands come into contact with any bodily fluids of another person, such as blood, semen or vaginal secretions, and then you masturbate, there is a very small possibility that you can contract STD’s through masturbation. How can you make absolutely sure you’re safe?

Simply Safe

Being a safe masturbator is actually fairly simple. Always keep your hands clean and make sure they’re washed before masturbation. Even if you don’t have any sexual partners, bacteria on hands that haven’t been washed can cause an infection.

Easy As Soap and Water

If you use toys during masturbation, make sure your toys are clean before each and every use as well. Soap and warm water will do the trick, although there are special cleaners for sex toys available at many stores and online.

It’s safer not to share your sex toys with other people, but if you do, make sure they’re washed in between each use and in between each partner. By washing your hands and your sex toys regularly and keeping them clean, you can keep any bacteria or other infectious organisms at bay.

While there is a very small, almost non-existent chance of contracting an STD from masturbation if you’ve been sexually active with other partners and have gotten blood or bodily fluids on your hands, regular hand washing and hand washing before masturbation will pretty much eliminate any risk involved.

Unless you’re abstaining from any sexual contact with yourself and others, masturbation is the safest form of sex around. Make sure you’re masturbation habits include good hygiene and you can enjoy relieving stress and satisfying your sexual desires without worry.

Can I Get AIDS From Oral Sex?

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Oral sex is a great way to share yourself with your partner, if you’re ready, without having sexual intercourse. It may be tempting to think that since oral sex isn’t actually sex that it reduces or eliminates the risk of contracting AIDS, HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Sadly, this isn’t true. Oral sex presents just as much of a risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease as anal sex, vaginal sex or any other type of sex. How can you protect yourself?

If you have oral sex can you get AIDS or any type other type of sickness or disease?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ESsRDd1tbA[/youtube]

Blood and Bodily Fluids

Most sexually transmitted diseases are transferred through blood or bodily fluids. This makes it extremely easy for someone to give or contract sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex. For example, HIV and AIDS are present in semen, vaginal secretions and blood. If a person giving oral sex has recently brushed their teeth, small scrapes may remain in the mouth and on the gums even though the person can’t feel them.

Performing oral sex and taking bodily fluids, whether it’s vaginal or penile fluids, into their mouth can easily cause the transmission of the disease. Curable infections, such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis still cause a lot of damage and can easily be transmitted through oral sex.

A particularly unfavorable infection is when these types of diseases actually take host in the mouth and throat. A virus such as this doesn’t discriminate from one warm, wet place to another and will be just as happy in a throat as they are in a penis or a vagina.

The only way to completely prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to stay completely abstinent, but this is often completely unrealistic as most couples want to experience each other sexually as part of their relationship.

It’s important to take steps to protect yourself if you’re thinking of having oral sex with a new partner or a partner that hasn’t been tested for STD’s or who may have not been monogamous.

Staying Safe

An easy way to significantly reduce the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex is to use protection. For male oral sex, a condom is an inexpensive, easy way to protect from giving or receiving any diseases. A condom doesn’t make transmission impossible, but the risk is greatly reduced. There are a number of flavored and scented condoms that are created specifically to make oral sex enjoyable for both partners.

For female oral sex, there is a square piece of latex or silicone that is called a “dental dam.” These are also inexpensive and make vaginal oral sex much safer for both the receiver and the giver. A dab of lube on the inside of the dental dam can make the sensations of oral sex very similar to those without a dental dam.

When engaging in any type of sex with someone, whether it’s oral sex or intercourse, it’s important to be smart and safe. Take steps to protect yourself and your partner and if you’re ready to be monogamous and want to have sex or oral sex without protection, get tested.

If you’re sexually active and have multiple partners over a period of time, it’s important to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases regularly as well as using protection. You can have a lot of fun with your partner and prevent the contraction of many diseases by taking a few simple steps to protect everyone involved!