Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for safe sex

Oral Sex: Why YOU Need To Think About Safer Fellatio!

By

Oral sex isn’t as risky as intercourse when it comes to STD’s, but there is still plenty of risk involved. There’s even more risk involved if you swallow your partner’s semen. Here’s the reason YOU need to think about safer fellatio!

Safer Oral Sex

This is a question with a simple enough answer – or maybe not. Safer oral sex practices depend on the type of sexually transmitted disease that you’re trying to prevent against. If you’re trying to prevent them all, you might as well just go and get a trash bag to cover your partner’s penis and his entire genital area. This is why it is so, so important to have regular exams and STD testing if you and your partner are not monogamous or if you plan to be monogamous, just one STD test before hooking up.

Condoms Are Essential!

If you’d like to practice safer oral sex and don’t enjoy the trash bag idea, you can still protect yourself from many of the other sexually transmitted diseases by using condoms. Condoms will not protect you against genital herpes or the human papillomavirus, however they are so much safer than unprotected oral sex. If you’re fairly concerned about herpes or genital warts, you can combine a condom with plastic wrap (easily found at your local grocery store) to protect your hands and face from coming into contact with skin in your partner’s genital area.

What Kind Of Condoms To Use

The best condoms for fellatio are either the non-lubricated kind or the kind with flavored, edible lubricants. If you try to perform fellatio on a partner wearing a regular, lubricated condom (especially if it is lubricated with spermicide) you are going to be sorry! If you or your partner have a latex allergy, polyurethane condoms are available and can actually be much more useful during fellatio than regular condoms because they tend to be thinner. However, the flavored condoms (which usually come in their corresponding colors) add a bit of fun to a fellatio session while still protecting you and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases that can be contracted through fellatio.

Think About Gloves Too

Condoms are not the only safer-sex tool that you should have on hand if you’re planning on a great (and safer!) fellatio session. Many guys enjoy hand action in addition to oral when receiving fellatio and to be perfectly honest – if infected semen comes into contact with your hands and you happen to have a small cut or abrasion (such as a paper cut) on your skin, you are at a high risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Latex or polyurethane gloves can be your best friend during a fellatio session! These are also great if you are planning to touch your partner’s anus and all and it even keeps long or untrimmed nails and hangnails from scratching your partner and making him uncomfortable.

Don’t Brush It Under The Rug

Sure, insisting on condoms or even gloves during oral sex might make you feel like you’re “ruining the mood,” and it may even make your partner look at you like you’ve lost your mind. That is, however, better than the nurse at the health clinic looking at you like she’s about to tell you that you have HIV.

Oral Sex – Safety First (And How To Talk To Your Partner About It)

By

Oral sex is commonly engaged in without thought to safety – but you should take precautions. Here’s how to have safer oral sex, and how to bring it up.

Why You Need To Consider Safer Oral Sex

It’s relatively common for people, especially with younger couples, to engage in oral sex without talking about safety first. As the Guide to HIV at About.com reports in an article called: The Risk of Oral Sex, many believe that oral sex is a low-risk activity because of its inability to get someone pregnant. Unfortunately STD’s are still a concern, even if they aren’t as prevalent as with penis-vagina intercourse.

Oral sex also increases the risk of other STDs, such as Herpes, Human Papillomavirus (HPV), Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis C. These nasty bugs are transmitted by saliva, skin-to-skin contact, genital lubrication, and/or ejaculate, and can then be passed along to someone else via more oral sex, kissing, or other forms of skin-to-skin contact.

Barrier Methods

You may be familiar already with dental dams; they are what dentists use to keep any bits and pieces during a root canal or other mouth surgery from falling down your throat. These simple pieces of latex are slowly becoming well known in lesbian and bisexual circles, and men are now following suit.

Most, but not all dental dams are made out of latex. They stretch and are flexible, but hold their shape and are much firmer than say, Saran Wrap. They are square and come in several different colors, translucency and tastes. Almost all of them are powdered, and it isn’t terribly difficult to find ones that are flavored, scented, or both.

If the taste or smell of an cunnilingus encounter isn’t your favorite part of the occasion, dental dams are a very welcome addition to your arsenal. The only issue with them however is that latex takes a bit of getting used to in the taste department as well, so it’s highly recommended that with your first few attempts, you purchase a package that offers a variety of flavors or scents to get you through those first few moments of uncertainty.

Latex Allergies

For those with allergies to latex, there are a few options to consider. The easiest is to buy some Saran Wrap that isn’t made to be used in the microwave; there are extra additives in the special stuff that isn’t vagina-friendly. A step up from Saran Wrap (which can be difficult to keep in place) is to buy some non-latex condoms, like polyurethane condoms, and then cut a slit up one side of them to make it into a longer, flatter piece.

What A Dental Dam Feels Like

‘Feeling’ a woman while using a dental dam takes a bit of getting used to – just like using a condom. You won’t feel the squishiness of your partner’s excitement, and it’ll be more difficult to tell how she’s reacting to your hard work. Getting your tongue in the right place can also be trickier, because you’re having to feel her with your tongue through the barrier. Yes, these are definite drawbacks, but no more so than using a condom – and as already discussed, their drawbacks are more than worth the knowledge that you’re having protected sex.

Getting The Dental Dam Ready To Use

Choose the side that you want to lick and the side that you want pressed up against your partner. Dab some lube on the side that is going on your partner – it will feel MUCH better to her. Also, make sure to keep the same side on her each time, or else you’ve defeated the purpose of using a dental dam. If you can’t remember which side you were licking, discard it and grab another one. An easy way to ensure you don’t get mixed up in the heat of the moment is to take a magic marker prior to your sexual encounter, and write on one side, “Lick here!”

Broaching The Subject

Never used a dental dam? That okay. Most women haven’t either. That doesn’t mean she’ll be adverse to using one though she’ll just need a bit of information is all, so she knows what you’re up to, and why. Learn as much as you can before, so that when you do whip one out, you can easily answer all of her questions and alleviate her fears of the unknown.

Do however make a point of letting your partner know that you plan on using a dental dam, especially if it’s the first time that you’re together intimately. Worst case scenario? You don’t tell her and she stops the whole flow of the moment with a, “What on earth is that?!” or something even more jarring, and you’re left crouched between her legs looking sheepish and trying to explain yourself. Trust me: if you take a bit of time to explain what a dental is, and why you’re using one, you’ll save yourself tons of embarrassment and heartache, and might even earn a few brownie points for ensuring you’re both safe sexually.

How To Use a Dental Dam

Let’s first begin with keeping the slip of latex in place. There are only three ways: you hold it, your partner holds it, or you use something to hold it in place. Of the three, having something else hold it in place is by far the most desirable. In the throes of orgasm she’ll struggle with keeping it in place, and you’ll want the extra hand for other activities as we move through this process.

Therefore, when purchasing dental dams, look for the ones that have an adhesive tip along the top, so that it sticks to wherever you put it in this case, along the top of her Mons Pubis. If the woman you are giving oral sex to is clean shaven however, you can use double sided tape or spirit gum instead, just make sure that you don’t get any near her vulva or vagina.

When first using a dental dam on your partner, try and do what you’d normally do without one. See how she reacts, and if she asks for more or less stimulation. Check her sexual response as well, and if she’s not getting aroused as you’d expect, increase the pressure to her clitoris or add a bit more lube to see if that makes a difference.

Free Report: 4 Sex Secrets To A TRULY Wild Sex Life

By

[Click here to download the Free Report: “4 Sex Secrets To A TRULY Wild Sex Life”]

Passionate, wild sex is possible and you can have it. You can literally have the sex life of your dreams!

There’s one thing you need to know before we get started. Women DO judge new lovers, and all of their friends will hear about you. (I know it sucks, but it’s completely true)

There is nothing that can ruin an amazing sexual experience more, than a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing in the bedroom…

And no, it’s not just about giving her an orgasm; it’s about the entire experience, right from the very beginning. Hot women know that they have their pick of any guy they want. So if the entire sexual experience isn’t enjoyable, and doesn’t feel right, they are going to move on to the next guy, and you are going to be left at home with nothing more than your hand and some internet porn.

Sex Secret #1

Being a great lover in bed is NOT about Size, it’s about knowing how to use what you’ve got! Most guys think that the only way to pleasure a woman is with a big penis. This is totally and completely NOT TRUE!

If all a woman wanted was a huge penis, we’d all be racing to the sex shop to buy the largest toys they had. Being a great lover is about knowing how to tap in to what your partner really wants, and having the skills to give it to her.

Men are the same way… what feels better to you?

When a woman performs the same motion over and over with little to no variation?

Or when she is so in sync with you and what your body wants, that it feels like she’s in all the right places and exactly the right time?

Sex Secret #2

Women cannot orgasm if you can’t lead BOTH her body AND mind!

Women know that you judge how we look with our clothes off – but we judge A LOT more than just ‘that’ about you.

And guess what. We judge your sexual  foreplay techniques more than anything else. Why? Because, it is absolutely vital to us, if we are going to get warmed up and relaxed enough to have an orgasm. Getting us warmed up properly involves knowing how to drive us wild with your words, your touches, your kisses and everything else that leads up to us taking our clothes coming off.

If you don’t know how to make a woman feel excited with your sexual intelligence, care, and mind-blowing sex techniques, then we will feel uncomfortable. And at that point, there is no chance we can orgasm.

Sex Secret #3

The #1 reason a woman will cheat is because you don’t satisfy her the right way in bed!

Women crave great sex (maybe even more than men). But without excitement in the bedroom, the sex can become mundane and feel more like a chore than the Earth-shaking, body-rocking experience we really want. And when a guy doesn’t know how to pleasure us the right way, we may go out and look for a guy who can.

Sex Secret #4

Most women are a lot more open and wild than you’d ever expect! Women talk about their sexual encounters A LOT more than guys do. We tell our girlfriends about EVERY detail when we have sex with a guy. And I can tell you from experience, that when one of us can’t stop talking about how amazing a guy was in bed, big things are going to go down

For starters, some women openly share their guys name and number with a friend so she can have some “fun” too. Women will also be a lot more open to inviting their girlfriends over for a threesome. So if you truly ever want to have truly wild sex life you are going to need the bedroom skills required.

INTRODUCING – The Porn Star Sex Life “Incredible Sex Video Series”

Who better to teach you the secrets to blowing a woman’s mind than October 2009 Penthouse Pet, former Playboy Radio host, Adult Film Star, Exotic Dancer and sexual educator Ryan Keely? Ryan is here to help you by demonstrating (in explicit detail) all the right moves, techniques and sex positions you need to know to have your lover begging for more.

The Incredible Sex Video Series includes 10 exciting modules – All of which you can watch INSTANTLY in our private ‘members only’ website.

It is quite simply THE BEST program on giving this kind of pleasure to women, of it’s kind EVER MADE! It’s Your Complete Guide To Getting Her Off!

The Incredible Sex Video Series isn’t simply a collection of amazing sex techniques… It’s your complete step-by-step system to achieving the wild and exciting sex life you’ve always fantasized about – And giving your partner the greatest sexual pleasure they’ve ever experienced.

I want to share with you the 10 modules that make up “The Incredible Sex Video Series”… I’m positive you’re going to love it as much as I do.


Module 1 – “Sensual Touch” – Find out how to how to touch, kiss, and undress any girl in a way that will have her begging for more.

Module 2 – “Fingering Techniques” – There are things you can do with your fingers that you can’t do with any other part of your body.

Module 3 – “Advanced Fingering Techniques” – These advanced fingering techniques that will get her so hot and bothered that she’ll be begging for more. And deep emotional orgasms that are so intense, most women refer them as “The Ultimate Orgasm”.

Module 4 – “Oral Sex Techniques” – Discover  why most men are losing their women to other women (Here’s a hint: Women are better at giving oral sex) AND the techniques to become a “master” of going down on her!

Module 5 – “Things You See In Porn That Are Bad Ideas” – If you try to imitate most of what you see in the movies, your partner will most likely walk out and never come back.

Module 6 – “Amazing Positions A to Z” – Being an amazing lover has nothing to do with those “fold her up like an origami crane” positions. It’s all about knowing how to “compliment” each others bodies by making tiny changes to your favorite positions.

Module 7 – “Anal Sex And Dirty Play” – So, if you’re interested in trying out “backdoor sex” with your woman (or any woman for that matter), then you need to pay close attention.

Module 8 – “Fetish And Advanced Dirty Play” – WARNING: This module is ONLY for the most adventurous of lovers! However, if you are daring enough to explore your “inner-freak” you may never want to go back.

Module 9 – “Staying In The Game” – If you want to last longer in bed, and drain your girl of ALL her energy, by giving her the most intense sexual experience of her life – Then this may be the most important module of all for you.

Module 10 – “Safe Sex” – Trust me, if she starts pissing razor blades, she will NEVER sleep with you again. Not only that, but if YOU catch something nasty, it won’t be a picnic for you either.

Click Here to Learn More About The Incredible Sex Video Series…

Should You Have Sex Before Age 18?

By

Teen sex is common these days – you see it on television and in movies, you hear about teenage celebrities getting busy and kids at school are trying it too. But is it right for YOU? Should you do it, or should you wait?

Legality

Let’s face it – it’s not legal for people to have sex if they’re under the age of eighteen. You can’t buy porn or sex toys if you’re underage either. While tons of underage boys and girls still do have sex before they’re eighteen and never get caught, it’s important to know the basics of when it is actually legal for you to engage in sexual activity.

That said, if you and your partner are both underage, it becomes less of a criminal issue and more of an issue with your parents. However, if you are underage and your partner is over the age of eighteen, or vice versa, you can get into a LOT more trouble. The older person may be charged criminally if it is ever reported that you are having sex with them, and they will be required to register as a sex offender after any jail time, probation or community service that is issued.

Being registered as a sex offender will haunt them for the rest of their lives and make it difficult for them to buy a home, have a job, have children and visit their children’s schools, and even impact their ability to vote. It’s not something that goes away after a few years – it’s a lifetime of being on a list with pedophiles and rapists. Think twice about having sex you or your partner are underage!

What Are You Waiting For?

If teen sex isn’t something you want to be involved in, think about the “why.” Are you waiting for marriage? Are you waiting until the age of eighteen to do it so you or your partner don’t get into trouble? Whatever your reason for waiting is, it’s a good reason – and it’s important that you fully understand the reason why you’re waiting so you can stay strong and continue to abstain.

If you’re not “waiting” but you just haven’t had sex yet, think about some of the reasons you should wait. Are you in a serious, committed relationship? If not, perhaps you should wait until you’re in love. Think about possibly getting yourself or your partner in legal trouble, or going against your personal beliefs. There are lots of good reasons to abstain and there are many of them that will apply to you and you alone. Perhaps you don’t want to abstain until marriage, but you just want to abstain until you’re older, smarter, more confident and ready. Every reason is a good one!

Considering Consequences

No one likes to think about the consequences of teen sex, but it’s a must if you’re considering losing your virginity. Having sex is an adult activity, and if you feel like you’re adult enough to handle it, then you’re definitely adult enough to think about the possible consequences beforehand. A lot of teenagers are afraid that if they think about the consequences of teen sex before they have it, they might talk themselves out of it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing!

If you’re sure you want to do it and “being talked out of it” isn’t something you feel will happen, considering the consequences will help you effectively plan for anything that might happen as a result of your decision. Think about the possibility of getting an STD – and all the different ways that they can be transmitted – and think about what you can do to reduce your risk as well as what you’ll do in the event that it does happen. Unwanted pregnancy is similar – before you have sex, think about how you can prevent an unwanted pregnancy and how you might deal with one should it actually happen.

Staying Safe

If you’ve thought long and hard and have decided that now is the right time to have sex, take the time to look into all safety options that you have available to you – and there are a LOT! Think about going to your doctor and getting on birth control. If you’re too young to go to the doctor by yourself and can’t tell your parents that you’ve made the decision to have sex and want to get on birth control, you don’t need to be having sex.

Also, think about using condoms and spermicide. Get flavored condoms and dental dams for oral sex. Talk to your doctor about other ways you can practice safe sex. Sex isn’t fun if all you’re worried about is getting pregnant or an STD. It’s also not fun if you’re worried about your partner going to jail.

If you can’t get it on with a clear conscience, try waiting until you can!

Dating Advice: Tips For The First Night Together

By

Dating will inevitably lead to sex. Here’s how you can make your dating efforts worthwhile and not send your lover running as soon as they walk in the door.

The First Sleepover

You’ve been on a few dates and things are going well, and then your date invites you over for dinner at their place. This can only mean one thing—tonight’s the night you’ll be sleeping over. Whether your place or your partner’s place will be the setting for the main event, there are ways to be better prepared for your romantic sleepover. Just a little advance planning will go a long way toward making sure your overnight experience is a great one.

Stock The Kitchen

Whether you’re hosting the night or your S.O. is, the key to a great sleep over is making sure that you don’t need to leave the apartment or house for anything. If things will be taking place at your apartment or house, you need to make sure that you’ve got food and drink covered for both dinner and breakfast. Get whatever you need for the meals you intend to make, plus some fruit and a snack like nuts or popcorn to have on hand.

Having at least one bottle of wine and a six pack of beer is a good idea, too—that way you have a couple of options in case you don’t like drinking the same thing on the date as your lover. You get extra points if you stock your kitchen with a snack or drink that you know he/she is a big fan of.

Clean The Place Up

If you don’t have time to truly clean your place, at least pick up any clutter and clean the bathroom. Slobs, take note—most people will be grossed out if your bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in over a week. Also be sure to have plenty of toothpaste and hand soap available, along with clean towels. Your date probably won’t be bringing an overnight bag, so it helps to think of what they might need and have it handy.

Throw a new toothbrush in the drawer so they can use it. Just tell them you always keep an extra on hand so they don’t think you thought that sex would be a sure thing. Make sure to make the bed, too, preferably with clean or fairly clean (no more than a couple of days old) sheets. Since you’ll hopefully be heading there sooner in the night rather than later, you want to make sure your bedroom looks nice and inviting. You can go all out with candles and flowers and music, but that isn’t necessary. Some people might even be intimidated by that. As long as the bedroom looks cozy and clean, you’ll be fine.

Pack Appropriately

If you’re the person heading over to your significant other’s place, try to think ahead for what you’ll need to sleep over. Since it’s your first time spending the night together, you can’t really bring over a backpack full of clothes and toiletries. That would look too presumptuous, and if you don’t end up staying the night, you’ll feel silly.

Girls are luckier here, because they usually have a purse on them. If you’re a guy and you’re coming straight from work, you can bring your briefcase or bag and hide some necessities in there. Otherwise, stick with what will fit in your pockets. If you can fit a toothbrush and floss in your bag or pocket, do so. Better still, pack a spare pair of underwear, too.

Since you’ll have to change into your same clothes the following day, having those clean undies will make you feel at least a little fresher. Another thing that always helps is deodorant. You could just sneak some of your date’s, but unless they use unscented or you’re both the same gender, you’ll come out smelling like the opposite sex. Better to bring your own if possible.

You should also consider bringing over a bottle of wine or something else to drink. Even if your mate already has beverages at his or her place, it can’t hurt to have a little more. That means there’s no risk that you’ll run out and have to make a late night wine and liquor store run. Plus, it makes for a nice host or hostess gift to thank them for having you over and cooking for you. Flowers never hurt, either.

Practice Safe Sex

There is one more thing that you need to stock up on, whether you’re the host or the invitee—birth control. Never, ever assume that your date will be supplying proper protection. Better that you both show up with a handful condoms than neither of you do. Nothing ruins the moment faster than realizing that one of you is going to have to go pick something up from the drug store. Plus, you don’t want to be tempted to forego using birth control out of convenience.

If you’re a girl and on the pill, make sure you put your pill pack in your purse. Whether you also use condoms or not, you wouldn’t want to miss your regular dose and throw yourself off. Being prepared with birth control is as important, if not more, as prepping all of the other aforementioned things. It takes the pressure off and lets you enjoy your first night together to the fullest.