Dirty talk is an excellent way to heat up your sex life. Here’s how to make dirty talk work for you!

Dirty talk can increase the intensity and actual frequency of your sexual experience. It will improve your lovemaking as you communicate your desires with each other more often. And it will increase the amount of lovemaking as it becomes more exciting. When it comes to sex, don’t settle for “common” – trusting each other and a lifetime of learning together makes for a great relationship. Spend time really getting to know your partner, while searching out what “does it” for each of you.

You hear far too often of sexless marriages and relationships where neither feels the romance. Dirty talk is a way to put the spark back into your relationship. If fun, it’s different – and it’s so seductive to be different! To this day, there are still things which my mate finds out about me, that keep me interesting and has her wondering what else might be going on in that brain of mine.

Gaining Confidence For Dirty Talk

A very important note to our female readers:

Many women are naturally insecure about their bodies. The media has not helped. The images thrown at us on a daily basis make a large percentage of women feel that if they don’t have the body of a Victoria’s Secret super model then their man couldn’t possibly be that attracted to them.

Work with what you have. Remember, the old saying “Every man wants a whore in the bedroom and a lady on the street.” It’s true! A Whore you say? Well, maybe just his whore.

Don’t forget, your body is HIS playground!!!! Don’t let feelings of insecurity (“Could I be skinnier? Do I need bigger/smaller breasts? Is my butt too big or too flat?) steal from you the kind of hot and passionate sex that you and your husband both deserve and desire from one another. You are THERE with him – and undressed. He’s completely sold at that point.

The Truth About The Way He Looks At You

He doesn’t care if your lingerie is perfect.

He doesn’t care if you panties and bra match.

He doesn’t care if you missed a day shaving your legs.

Cellulite and stretch marks don’t turn him off.

Jiggling in all the right places – including your hot breasts, butt and thighs – can be a big turn on for him when you are in the throws of him taking you. Women are much, much tougher on themselves and on picking out the flaws on other women than what men are towards judging their bodies.

How To Flaunt What Your Momma Gave You

Don’t undress quickly. Let him take in the unwrapping of the perfect gift you are giving him – your body. Slowly peeling away layers of your clothing and teasing him with little shots of the goods he is about to enjoy is very erotic. Don’t cover yourself with the sheets of blanket or he might as well be having sex with a down comforter. If you get up to go to the restroom – don’t grab a robe!

Walk slowly, stretch, look back over your shoulder and smile, he’s enjoying the view – the view of YOU!

Men are visual creatures and drink in the site of your body nude. Don’t be afraid to walk around the room naked. Confidence is the most beautiful trait any woman can possess. And ladies, after you have brought your man to the heights of pleasure and he has emptied his semen, you don’t have to be “done,” just because he has gone off the edge of the cliff. Take the time and relish in what he has just done.

Turning It Into Dirty Talk

Describe to him the look of it, the feel of it, the amount of it, and should you be so inclined, the taste of it. If he shoots his load on his chest, on your chest, or on to your stomach – play with it – trace your initials or name in it, doodle hearts on his body. Everyone say it out loud  – semen is not BIOHAZARDDOUS!!!!!

If instead he empties himself inside you , once he has pulled out , don’t immediately grab for something to clean up with. Too many times women will make men feel like their semen is toxic. When in fact, it is what you cause him to do just by arousing him. YOU make him EXPLODE!

What a powerful thought that is! Tell your man how warm it makes you feel inside to have this extension and the complete final result of his intense desire for you, to now be a part of your body!

Dirty talk can revamp your sex life like nothing else – but you have to create a great mood first. Here’s how to introduce dirty talk into YOUR bedroom!

Using Your Voice

Dirty talk has to sound sexy. If you say “that feels great” in a very monotone, unexcited voice, then that is not very sexy. Put emotion into your dirty talk. Whispering and breathy comments can be quite sexy. Grunt, moan and make noises – varying the tone and the pitch occasionally so that it does not get monotonous. Scream or shout when you are really into it. Also, you aren’t giving commands like a Colonel or Major to his enlisted men.

The goal here is for both of you to be conveying to each other the passion and intensity of your encounter. It CAN and SHOULD be fun, not work. Imagine the basic tone of a football game. Everyone in the stadium has high expectations but as the game begins, as a sports fan, it starts out slow. We aren’t up off the couch screaming at the players at the top of our lungs from the coin toss.

Start dirty talk slowly – whispers and playful dialogue as you are kissing, and as you are face to face while first getting things warmed up. As the passion heats up you can change the tone and level of your voice to mimic the pace of what is happening in the room. If you’re further apart, or if he’s behind you, you’re going to need to be louder so that mid-stroke someone’s not saying “I’m sorry, honey what did you say??” That’s a sure fire way to break the momentum you have been building.

Another good example is a piece of symphony music. The first notes of the musical composition are not the loudest portions of the piece. The tempo starts out slower, building to the climatic heights in the middle, and then descending at the end.

Imagine your lovemaking as the same. A beautifully written musical form that should keep a pace that reflects the given situation. A lovemaking session where you have a whole night to play and explore would have a different tempo from one where you’re squeezing in a quickie between dinner and taking the kids to soccer practice.

Setting The Mood

Playing some music during dirty talk helps provide background noise that may make it easier so that you won’t feel so self conscious over the sound of your own voice. Some music also has great lyrics that will inspire you to pull them from the song and use them while using dirty talk with your partner. Have you ever known anyone to NOT be turned on while listening to Marvin Gaye, Barry White or Luther Vandross?

Songs like “Let’s Get It On,” “Sexual Healing,” “Got To Give It Up,” “If Only For One Night” and others are romantic, slow, sensual and have very erotic lyrics while providing great inspiration and setting the tone for a romantic night together.

Candles

Candles placed around the bedroom, living room, bathroom or any other room in your house only elevate the feeling of a close, private, safe haven for the two of you to explore each other.

Bubble Bath

Bubble baths are a great way to relax and spend a little more time with foreplay before hitting the sheets. Sitting in the tub together is a great way to start and work up some additional desire. By the time you have washed each others backs and played around in the bubbles, you maybe find yourself never even making it to the bed.

Aromatherapy

Perfumes and bed linen sprays are another way to set the mood for dirty talk in your bedroom. Spritz the pillow cases or the ceiling fan ahead of time so that the room takes on a special scent before it’s time to play. Once you’ve worn a special fragrance during an encounter and your lover smells it on you again, it will take you back to the moments you spent wrapped around each other in the heat of passion.

Wine, Or Your Drink Of Choice

Bring a bottle of wine to bed and poor some slowly into her belly button. Sip it out and then do the same to your partner. Ladies, when he’s going down on you, take a little wine and pour it into a shot glass. Pour it slowly from the top of your mound and it will drip down the inner creases of your thighs – ask him to lick it up. This is an excellent way to put a new twist on oral sex!

Dirty talk can end up being a complete failure if you don’t steer clear of these warning signs! If you attempt to jump full throttle in to dirty talk, your partner could wonder where you suddenly came up with the idea and might even think that you’ve been having an affair or watching porn.

Be Honest With Your Partner From The Start

You will need to assure them from the get-go that this is something you want to try with them instead of just springing some hardcore phrases on them during the middle of a romp. A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for Academy Awards for a very good reason.

You could find that your better half finds dirty talk uncomfortable and off-putting. Some consider it to be raunchy and a put down to a person they love. Some heart to heart communication and a give and take attitude between two people who love each other should be able to put the uncomfortable one at ease. Be patient with the partner who has reservations and just use soft pillow talk from time to time to warm them to the idea.

Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up – reread some of the suggestions from time to time if you are feeling like you haven’t quite got it yet.

Be Yourself When Using Dirty Talk

Women, please don’t try to be who you are not. Faking an orgasm and screaming like it’s the best sex you’ve ever had will only cause problems down the road. He’ll wonder why he can’t get you that worked up EVERY time when you get tired of pretending and you will eventually tire of faking it and long to really be satisfied. At that point, and rightly so, he’ll be frustrated and unsure of why he suddenly can’t put you into the throws he saw you ‘act’ your way through before.

When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. Threesomes, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life.

Be aware that it can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “your penis is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. Telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size could backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that he rubs your clitoris so perfectly or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you.

Mix It Up

Dirty talk can also become redundant (just like missionary sex day after day after day). Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases, over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Okay, I’ve heard that so many times – please shut up already.”