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Q&A: MILF Fantasy – I Want To Have Sex With My Step-Mom!

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A MILF fantasy is actually quite common – there are many guys out there that either have or had a really hot step-mother who they couldn’t help but be attracted to! Of course it’s inappropriate, but lots of guys experience it. Most of the time, it passes and nothing more is ever said about it. But just what do you do when all you can think about is getting it on with your stepmother?

Question: I have a fantasy of having sex with my step mom. Almost every day she wears these pants that when she bends over you can see her ass perfectly, and my urges keep getting more and more frequent! I’ve gone to many other people, all with no help. She is also about to get breast implants, so that makes it all the worse! Your videos have helped me out a lot, so please help me on this one!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9PG42lKpVk&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

A MILF Fantasy Is Perfectly Normal

Boys, especially those going through puberty, are going to be attracted to random hot women, possibly all hot women. If your stepmother is hot, it’s not out of the ordinary that you would have a sexual fantasy about her! Lots of guys have gone through or are going through the same thing. You’re just attracted to a hot woman who just happens to be your step-mother. You don’t have to make it any more complicated than that.

Acting On Your Fantasy

While a MILF fantasy is actually very common, it’s not one that you can act on. Even if you’re over the age of eighteen and you and your step-mother are both consenting, you’re still going to hurt a lot of people if you make that decision. Your family would likely be very hurt and feel very betrayed if you and your step-mother got it on.

If you’re under age, that’s a whole different ball game – things could be much worse if you did anything about your fantasy. Also, it’s likely that your step-mother most absolutely does not share this fantasy, and you could damage your relationship with her and the rest of your family if you tell her that you think about her sexually.

You can’t help that you’re having this fantasy, so what do you do? If you end up masturbating every day while thinking about your step-mother, you’re not going to be the first guy that has ever done that. Masturbation is an excellent relief for fantasies that you just can’t be a part of in real life. However, if you actually act on your fantasy, you could be crossing a line that you can never un-cross.

Consider Counseling

If your MILF fantasy really bothers you and you just can’t get away from it (and you really want to) consider counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeing an unbiased counselor or third party that can help you talk through your feelings and problems. People put so much stigma on going to a therapist – especially for sex related issues – but if you want to get to the root of the problem, therapy is about as good as it gets.

Don’t think that seeing a therapist automatically makes you a weaker guy. What counseling can do is help you talk through your issues and learn the tools you need to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilled life. On a side note, talking to your step-mother about this fantasy of yours is probably not a good idea.

Redirect That Energy Elsewhere

If counseling isn’t something you can or want to do, think about ways you can redirect this energy. Think about what it is about your step-mother that turns you on so much. Is it her physique? Perhaps she has a nice butt or legs that just won’t quit. If you can isolate just what it is about her that turns you on, you can redirect that energy to adult films and magazines that feature women with large butts, long legs, or whatever it is that you think turns you on the most.

Even if you can’t find something in particular, there is surely going to be another girl you find attractive. Exploring magazines, websites, films and art can help you find other women to look at that also turn you on. If you’re old enough and dating is an option, get more social and talk to girls.

You may be attracted to your step-mother’s personality, simply because you haven’t been close or conversed much to other women. Dating can help you redirect your energy into finding a girl that you’re attracted to that you can get to know without the repercussions that getting involved with your step-mother would bring.

The 3 Biggest Female Turn-Offs In Bed

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Most sex advice will tell you how to turn a woman ON, but not what you need to avoid. Most of the time, sex advice will go on about techniques to please a woman, but they fail to tell you what not to do to keep her from throwing you off her and walking out the door. Steer clear of these three major issues women have with guys during sex and you’re home free.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpiMN50vcWk[/youtube]

Every Woman Is Different

There are tons of different turn-ons and turn offs when it comes to women. Each woman has her own set of things that turn her on, like foreplay or oral sex, and things that turn her off. These things will differ from woman to woman. However, there are some things that men do when getting it on that most women don’t like. When you’re with a girl for a period of time, you’re going to learn her specific likes and dislikes. However, you can be pretty sure that every woman isn’t going to like these three things:

Being Excessively Polite In Bed

Weak, wimpy guys do not turn women on. In fact, quite the opposite! So if you’re excessively polite in the sack, saying things like “Please can I do this,” or “What do you think about this” is going to turn her off completely. Instead, focus on being confident and assertive during sex. Girls prefer a strong, confident guy who knows what he wants to a guy who is constantly worried about what he’s doing or if he’s doing it wrong.

Examples Of What Not To Do

  • Asking permission for everything in bed.
  • Never showing any dominant, masculine energy.
  • Apologizing for anything while getting busy.

Just because you’re being strong and masculine doesn’t mean you need to treat a woman badly. You can still be dominant and assertive while still being loving and caring towards her. Being a jerk towards her doesn’t make you confident – it just makes you a jerk. Show girls your confidence by knowing what you want and knowing how to give a woman an orgasm.

Lack Of Emotion During Sex

Very few sex advice manuals out there talk about how to be emotional while knocking boots. They’re mostly technique driven, teaching you how to touch a woman’s clitoris or finger her g-spot. However, technique is only going to get you so far. Women are emotional creatures, and experience emotion deeply when getting busy. It’s just part of their nature. Failing to show emotion and acting like a robot while getting it on isn’t going to win you any points, even if you can touch her exactly the way the sex advice book you read told you to.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotional side when making love. Let pleasure, pain or ecstasy overcome you and let it out. Let it show on your face and in your voice. Let yourself be consumed by the moment instead of being focused on every technique you learned. A woman wants to experience that with you, and she wants to know that she’s doing a good job pleasing you.

Ways To Show Emotion

  • Make noises while making love.
  • Talk romantically to her or use dirty talk if she’s into it.
  • Show emotional vulnerability inside and outside the bedroom.

Going Straight For The Gold

Another big faux pas when getting it on – and perhaps the biggest complaint among women – is when a guy goes straight for the gold. He comes in, does his thing, has an orgasm and rolls over and goes to sleep. Chances are, you’re not going to get laid by this woman again. She will think you don’t care about her and only cared about yourself and your pleasure.

Instead, focus on her pleasure first. Give her oral sex before you even have intercourse with her. Read sex advice manuals and learn new techniques to bring her pleasure. Combine new techniques with being confident and emotional, and you’ll have her completely wrapped up in you. She’ll want to get busy with you all the time!

When you find new ways to turn her on and pleasure her, you’re both going to get more nookie in the end. Experimenting with new ways to have fun and mix it up is going to keep her interested in having sex with you. If you use the same techniques over and over, she’s going to get bored and want to find something – or someone – else to do. Always be learning new techniques to keep things fresh and exciting.

It Was Supposed To Be Just A Fling…Is It?

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Sex can be casual, or it can mean something more. What do you do if the sex wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but you start having romantic feelings?

There’s this hot guy and the office. He was a so hot, I couldn’t help myself…neither could he. We hang out, hook up, then show up at work like we can’t stand each other. It was strictly a “no strings” deal going in, but all I do is think about doing him. Am I developing feelings?

What She Said:

It sounds like you’re getting good sex, so congratulations are in order! And, given that you mentioned you’re thinking about sex all the time, it sounds like it’s the act you’re attached to – not the guy.

It reads like an ideal situation and you’re both doing everything “right.” You’ve agreed on the boundaries (you don’t spend the night and you don’t discuss it at work); as well as what kind of relationship you’d like (sex with no strings). I’m going to assume that birth control and safety from STD’s have also been discussed. An accidental pregnancy is a quick way to snafu non-attachment!

Women Naturally Develop Emotional Attachments

In broad biological terms, women are hardwired to get attached to men they sleep with – it’s released in our hormones when we mate, so there’s no getting around that reality. But there is a way to beat it. If you feel you’re falling for this guy, take a step back emotionally and physically. Journal, talk to yourself in front of the mirror, write “NO” on the back of your hand, splash cold water over your face – whatever it takes to wake up and remind yourself what you’re really getting out of this situation. You might think you’re falling in love with him, when you’re really only falling for his body.

What you’re getting out of this is valuable. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of life and it sounds like you have a good physical connection with this guy. You both knew what you wanted from the get-go, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Keep your priorities in check and treat each other with respect – you’ll be fine. If emotions are starting to surface, be honest and see what happens. In the meantime, enjoy!

What He Said:

Sounds like he just plain screwed you stupid. You got it so good, you don’t know up from down and all those orgasms have straight fried your brain. There’s nothing to be concerned about. It is, after all, called mind blowing sex for a reason. Give it time. Let the new-ness of the relationship wear off. After your body and mind have adapted to their worlds consistently being rocked by this guy, then you’ll know if it’s really more than just screwing for you.

Don’t Get Caught

Maybe it is, maybe it’s not. Time will tell. The most important thing to consider here is the workplace aspect. Never ever do it at work. Never talk dirty at work. Never send naughty emails via company email accounts. Channel your inner secret agent and you should be fine.

Why Can I Only Reach Orgasm With Clitoral Stimulation?

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An orgasm isn’t always something that is easy for a woman to achieve. Getting to climax for a girl isn’t at all as easy or quick as it is for a guy – for a guy, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’s going to orgasm during sex but not so much for a woman. In fact, many women can only have a climax by stimulating the clitoris. Why is this?

Question: I can’t orgasm while having sex with my partner. I have to help him by playing with myself. I cant orgasm by just having plain sex with him. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy it, I love it. But I can’t seem to get into the “zone.” Some history about this is: I was a virgin about one year ago and lost it with my partner that I am with now. He is a little worried about my not being able to reach climax without clitoral stimulation. Please help!
–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDHwl4Te5dg[/youtube]

Needing Clitoral Stimulation To Orgasm Is NOT Uncommon

Over 65% of women actually require stimulation of the clitoris during sex to have a climax at all. This is the vast majority of women, and this doesn’t even count the number of girls who have never even experienced climax at all! Only a few women can have a climax with vaginal intercourse or g-spot stimulation alone. Usually, if a woman is going to have a g-spot orgasm, it is in conjunction with a clitoral orgasm.

Why The Clitoris Is So Important

The clitoris is actually one of the most important – if not THE most important – part of a girl’s anatomy when it comes to sex. The clitoris has over 8,000 ultra sensitive nerve endings in it alone, which is more nerves than are present in the entire penis! It is designed for female pleasure and pleasure alone, meaning that this part of a girl’s anatomy actually has no other purpose whatsoever that to provide a woman with sexual pleasure and bring her to climax!

G-Spot Orgasms

Having an orgasm through g-spot or vaginal stimulation is going to take a lot longer than having a clitoral orgasm and a woman has to be extremely aroused and mentally and physically “into it” for a climax to happen this way. A lot of men just don’t give a girl enough warm up time through foreplay to get her really good and turned on first, so then it seems like it’s impossible for her to climax through vaginal intercourse.

In reality, it IS going to take longer and a woman needs to be FULLY aroused before starting to stimulate the g-spot. Give yourself enough time for foreplay in the beginning, and give yourself enough time during sex to actually have a g-spot or vaginal climax. Many couples assume that just because it is taking a long time or that it’s not happening as fast as it does when stimulating the clitoris that it will never happen. Relax, have patience and have fun with it!

Why She May Not Be Able To Have A G-Spot Orgasm

As a woman becomes more and more aroused during sex, her g-spot is going to swell up and become engorged with blood. When this happens, the g-spot can feel friction during sex more and sex is more pleasurable. However, the enlarged g-spot also pushes against the bladder and for a girl, it can feel like she needs to pee. Thinking that she’s going to wet the bed during sex is enough to turn her off completely and make her want to stop.

Avoid this by having her go to the bathroom before having sex. Then, when she starts to feel like she has to urinate, you can both be confident that this isn’t a real urge to use the restroom – it’s simply the g-spot enlarging and pressing on the bladder. You can be reasonably sure that when she starts to feel this way, a g-spot climax isn’t far off. Encourage her to relax through the feeling and ride the waves of pleasure!

Bring In The Sex Toys

Lots of women put pressure on their partners to learn how to please them sexually, but they don’t have the slightest clue how to pleasure themselves. You’ll never be able to teach your partner to push your hot buttons unless you’ve figured out where they are first, so take some time to hit the sheets with some of your favorite sex toys and learn what you really like in bed.

If you want to have a g-spot orgasm, try out a few g-spot massagers or vibrators. A Rabbit vibrator is always a great choice, because it stimulates both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time. A lot of the time, having a blended orgasm first (both a g-spot and a clitoral climax at the same time) will bridge the gap between having just a clitoral climax and a g-spot climax separately.

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are a great way for a girl to strengthen her vaginal muscles and create more friction during sex. Practice squeezing your PC muscles (the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when going to the bathroom) when you’re just sitting at your desk at work or while walking around. No one will know you’re doing them! By strengthening your vaginal muscles, you can squeeze your partner’s penis during sex so you both experience more friction during intercourse. This will increase your likelihood of having a g-spot climax!

How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

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In sex ed, they don’t tell you how to figure out your sexual orientation. And when you’re a teenager, there are tons of sexual hormones that are taking over your body – one minute you can be feeling one way and the next minute you can be feeling the exact opposite. It can be hard to tell what your true sexual orientation is when so many emotions are going through you. How do you know if you’re really and truly gay, straight, bisexual or anything in between?

For about two years, I’ve contimplated weather or not I’m bi-sexual, and I’ve been feeling like I am a lot more now than I have in the past. I’m sort of freaked out by all this and I was wondering if you could explain some of this stuff. I’m fifteen and living with two old school catholics – so let’s just say I can’t go to the parents on this one, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RvJdlQyS6A&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

What Is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is simply the recognition that one can be physically and emotionally to more than one gender. Many people assume that if you have sex with a member of the same gender that it automatically makes you gay or bisexual, but this isn’t true. You don’t have to have had sex at all – with anyone – or you can have had sex with both genders.

You can also be gay but have only had sex with members of the opposite sex, and vice versa. On the other hand, having a sexual encounter with someone of the same gender doesn’t make you gay or bisexual. Your sexual orientation doesn’t depend at all on who you’ve been to bed with!

What Do You Really Fantasize About?

What does determine your sexual orientation is what governs your sexual fantasies. Are you a guy who is sleeping with with women but keeps dreaming about giving a great blowjob to a guy? Are you a girl who is having sex with guys but secretly wish you were with a girl instead? If this is the case, you might want to consider that possibility that you are gay or bisexual.

Leaning One Way Or The Other

If you’re bisexual, it doesn’t mean that you have to be attracted physically and emotionally to men and women equally. Lots of people lean one way or the other – a man who is bisexual may prefer women but sometimes enjoy men, or a woman may really enjoy being with another women but think being with a man sexually is okay too.

Questions To Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure about what your sexual orientation really is, you can ask yourself some questions to dig deeper within yourself and find out what really defines your sexuality.

  • Do you feel attracted to both genders?
  • Are you attracted to men and to women sexually and emotionally?
  • Do you think about having sex with a woman when you’re with a man or vice versa?
  • Do you enjoy looking at both men and women sexually?
  • Do you believe that either gender could fulfill you emotionally in a relationship?

All In All, It’s Just A Label

What sex ed definitely won’t teach you is that bisexuality, gay, straight, transgender, etc. are all just labels that people put on themselves or put on others. Humans have to label everything – it comes naturally to them to place a label on people, things, ideas, and pretty much everything else they come into contact with.

You don’t have to label yourself at all if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to consider yourself bisexual or gay or straight, then don’t! There are lots of people out there that don’t meet the criteria for gay, straight or even bisexual and are somewhere in the middle – but that’s okay because when it comes to sexuality and sexual orientation, it’s all shades of gray anyways. By labeling everything, we try to make our world black and white, but it just doesn’t happen that way.

You are who you are and you don’t need a label to give yourself permission to be a certain way or enjoy certain things. You don’t have to consider yourself into BDSM just because you like the occasional spanking, or think of yourself as having a urine fetish if you enjoy a golden shower every now and again. When it comes to sex – and anything else – you don’t have to define yourself unless you want to, and it’s not up to anyone else to define you either. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself, and live the way you want to live.