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3 Steps To Female Sexual Arousal

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Sex tips will only get you so far – if you don’t get how a woman is sexually aroused (it’s a whole process) then you’re going to crash and burn!

The Process Of Arousal

There’s a process to arousal, no matter if it’s with a man or a woman. Each step builds upon another, and without the ones that come before it, the next cannot occur. There’s a defined start, middle and end, with each item holding its own along the continuum. Each of the anatomical bits have a part to play in the process as well; some are small, others large, and yet others pop up at different times for different reasons. There is an ebb and flow of sorts to the process, where one thing slowly grows in importance and another falls away.

Step One: Foreplay

In the first part of female sexual response, foreplay is the main event, which propels a woman’s brain and body towards arousal. Some markers of this step are:

  • Hormones start flooding a woman’s system as soon sex enters her brain. If the process continues, she becomes “emotionally stoned” by one specific hormone, oxytocin, as one author by the name of Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., suggests in her book “The Alchemy of Love and Lust.”
  • Blood flow moves to focus more on the pelvic region of a woman’s body, and her genitals start to fill with blood. Some women you’ll be able to see the difference by looking at her vulva, as it’ll become darker the more excited and closer to orgasm she gets.
  • The skin is also an organ of the human body, and as such, it becomes more sensitized during this process.
  • Any breast play during this phase increases the oxytocin floating around in the bloodstream.
  • Both the nipples and breasts swell during this stage of the arousal process.
  • As more blood pumps through the vulva, the Bartholin’s Glands create thick lubrication to prepare for stimulation of the clitoris.
  • The Clitoral Head peeks out from underneath its Clitoral Hood.

Step Two: Climax

During this stage, the body tenses up, breathing gets shallower and faster, blood pressure rises, and the heart beats more quickly than during stage one. Also:

  • The vaginal opening gets smaller while internally it gets both wider and longer up to two inches difference
  • The clitoris body gets longer and firm, similar to how a penis stiffens
  • The G-Spot fills with blood and can easily be felt along the wall of the vagina
  • The Clitoral Head hides again as the ligament that holds it in place firms up; both parts will remain like this until climax occurs
  • Another ligament positioned along the uterus and ending at the Labia Minora tightens, thus involving the entire uterus during the sexual stimulation process

As sexual arousal continues, a woman:

  • Blushes along her face and chest
  • Breathes deeply
  • Increases her heart rate to a staggeringly quick beat; and
  • Has her Labia Minora flush with even more blood, until the whole area becomes dark purple.

Then, when she orgasms, all of this built up tension blows up during climax, where rhythmic contractions overtake her and then lessen in severity and speed as she releases.

Every second or so, the vaginal walls contract along with the pelvic floor muscles, and as the vaginal walls contract, the uterus also contracts because even more oxytocin is pumped into that general area. Each contraction provides a wave of pleasure, with some women ejaculating a small amount of clear fluid.

Step Three – Release

After the orgasmic event, a woman comes full circle to her normal, non-aroused status quo. This is where men and women differ the most strikingly during the arousal process. For the most part, men will lose their erections shortly after climax, and will enter into a stage of what researchers call the “refractory period” where they require a bit of down time before starting the circle again.

Also, women’s bodies don’t normally process oxytocin as a sleep-inducer (men do) their bodies aren’t extremely sensitive after orgasm (except for the Clitoral Head), and they can easily start the arousal process again without any waiting period.

The major difference between the genders with this downtime is that it leads to differing needs. Men want to roll over and sleep after sex, whereas women either want to go on and have multiple orgasms, or want to connect and snuggle before sleeping. Many a magazine articles written on the subject suggests a variety of tools to reduce the stress associated with these biological mandates, but in essence, the answer is simple: roll over and cuddle your partner as you fall asleep, and everyone is happy. It’s not asking either partner to stop what is natural to them, while still giving each what they need.

So, there’s female sexual arousal explained in a short, relatively simple manner, with a bit of comparison thrown in so you understand how it differs from a man’s.

How To Lick Her Clitoris And Make Her WET!

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Oral sex can be divine for a woman. If you do it just right, she’ll be dripping on the sheets when you’re done.

Men are incredibly penis-centric beings. They love to look at it, touch it, talk about it, and some men even name it! However, women are not as into your penis as you are. In fact, they tend to orgasm significantly more often when it’s not your penis doing the job. The vaginal wall has very little in the way of nerves. It’s the clitoris, which is on the outside, that makes the O-face happen. That is, if you treat it right.

Don’t Go Straight For The Clitoris!

Do not just dive right in. It will only irritate her. I know you’re thinking, “But it feels so awesome every single time someone touches my penis, so how can it not be the same for chicks’ clits?” The clitoris and the penis are extremely similar in shape and function, but there are some differences. Her pleasure organ is largely internal, and not as weathered as your well-beaten member, so it is quite a bit more sensitive.

She Gets Erect Too, You Know

When she is in a neutral state, the head of her clitoris is exposed. The head is the home to over 8,000 nerve endings, which is why it is so much better than your penis is at having orgasms, but also why your fingers feel like cheese graters on her under-stimulated organ.

However, when the woman is aroused, the erectile tissues fill with blood, and the clitoris becomes erect (sound familiar?) In its erect state, the head slides under the clitoral hood where it is protected and coated with sebum produced in her body. Meaning, she gets wet.

Wetter Is Better

The importance of wetness can never be over stated. Without it, you shouldn’t even bother to get an erection, because she’s not going to let you touch her with it. So how can you achieve that desired state? Well, you could immediately run to your trusty water-based, mango flavored lube, dump it in your hand, smear it all over her vulva, and jam your penis in there, or you could do it the way she likes it.

That means foreplay. A sweet kisses, nipple biting, and everything in between is what she really needs. If you can provide her with ample stimulation before you even go near her clitoris, it will significantly cut down on the awkward prodding that takes place when you try to go in cold.

Lick Slowly And Softly

Start out by licking slowly and softly, as though you were enjoying a delicious treat – because you are! You may think that as soon as you put your tongue down there she’s going to explode, but she’s going to need plenty of time to build up an orgasm. So don’t rush it!

Lick her clitoris every few times, in between licking the rest of her vulva as well. Yeah, the clitoris is where it’s at, but her labia and vaginal opening have super sensitive nerves that feel divine when you run your tongue over them. Do all of this and she’ll be dripping by the time you’re done!

Don’t Forget About The Rest Of Her Body Too!

Women are walking erogenous zones. They don’t have just the one sex organ that is the epicenter of awesomness. A woman’s whole body is covered in little spots that get them hot. Where those exact spots varies from woman to woman, and day to day. But figuring out where they are is all part of the fun.

Oral Sex: How To Handle Semen During A Blowjob

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Oral sex for a guy will hopefully end in ejaculation – but when it does, what the heck are you supposed to do with his semen?

Communicate With Your Partner

This may single-handedly be THE biggest reason for communication! We all know that men ejaculate when they experience an orgasm and if they experience an orgasm during fellatio, then it is likely that the ejaculate will end up in your mouth. Depending on your preferences, this may or may not be a turn on for you, you may be indifferent to it, or the very idea may repulse you and send you running for the porcelain throne.

Swallowing

The easiest way to dispose of semen during oral sex is to swallow it. But if the idea just doesn’t do anything for you (or if it makes your stomach turn) read on for some different ways to handle his semen – and still make it sexy.

Spitting In A Towel

So you’re okay with it in your mouth, but actually getting it down? Not happening. Keep a towel nearby and when he’s done, discreetly spit his semen in it. You can also keep a glass of water or another drink nearby to swish out your mouth. This also works well if he likes to kiss you afterwards but doesn’t like the taste of his own spunk.

Finish Him Off With A Handjob Instead

This technique may sound less passionate or devoting than swallowing your partner’s ejaculate, but it doesn’t have to be. Enthusiasm makes all the difference in the world and as long as you continue to let him know that you are enjoying his orgasm (even though his orgasm is being finished with a hand instead of a mouth) and he may very well be so wrapped up in the pleasure that he doesn’t notice the difference.

Sound making or some dirty talk is of utmost importance here! You don’t have to get loud or wild but making some noises lets him know that you are getting off on him getting off and that will definitely enhance his orgasm! Verbally telling him how much it turns you on to see him cum might be just what he needs to hear to get him to finish strong as you watch.

Bad First Experiences With Oral Sex

A large number of women have had “BAD” first experiences with the first blowjob they ever gave, because they were either young and didn’t know what to expect, or some guy decided to not tell them when they were going to orgasm and they found themselves unexpectedly with a surprise mouth full of semen and that unpleasant first experience left them unwilling to ever try again.

Again, this is why communication and assurance are key factors to getting over an objectionable first experience and not letting it keep you from a very special and wonderful experience with your trusted partner.

Let Him Go “In” You

Guess where “else” is outside of your mouth?” You guessed it! Your warm, wet and waiting vagina. You can give your man the most wonderful blowjob (up to the climactic eruption) and when he says “NOW,” quickly remove your mouth and stick his penis deep into you, while letting your vagina provide that last few pumps to finish him off and capture every drop of his semen.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter where the semen goes during oral sex as long as both partners communicate before the fellatio session and are in agreement and as long as both partners stick to that agreement!

Dirty Talk Basics – What You Need To Know!

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Dirty talk is an exceptional way to bring the heat back into the bedroom. Just don’t get started without reading these essentials first!

What Is Dirty Talk?

The purpose behind dirty talk is to show you a new way of communicating with your spouse.

Some call it pillow talk, sexy talk, erotic talk or bedroom’s mother tongue, but regardless of what dirty talk is referred to, it is simply honest and open communication with your partner while enjoying sex with one another. It is something that both men and women can use to bring more excitement and pleasure to their sex life.

Open lines of communication are expected for successful marriages when it comes to finances, children and other areas, yet communication in the bedroom still often remains an “off limits” area to many couples.

Why is it that a wife can tell her husband every single detail about an incident involving one of their children or a story involving one of her best friends, but when it comes down to talking with each other, one on one, about what they feel and yearn for in the bedroom they clam up?

Why Use Dirty Talk?

The most important thing to remember is that YOU control the amount of excitement, eroticism and passion that occurs in your bedroom (or elsewhere, for that matter). By using this form of expression together, you can choose to NOT settle for the ordinary!! After all, do you want to have an “off the charts” exciting sex life, or an all too common, sleepwalk through the motions, predictable routine?

Consider dirty talk as a new “spice” in a recipe you have been preparing for years. Maybe you have made the same homemade salsa for decades but you have recently heard about a new way of making it, so you decided to add in some black beans and fresh cilantro just to see if it would really give It a ‘kick’. The results? NOTHING SHORT OF FANTASTIC! You’re not sure why you never thought of adding something to the recipe before. Same basic ingredients (you, your mate and some incredible sex) – but adding in a brand new spice and voila!

Dirty Talk Isn’t Dirty

The main purpose of dirty talk, or as I prefer to refer to it: a ‘very sexy verbal exchange’ between you and your spouse, is to enhance the level of excitement and to help build the intensity between you and your mate.

It is simply an erotic use of the English language (or any language you use) and is an easy way to take your love making to an even more intimate level.

Some women will need to be persuaded that it’s okay and SAFE to have a vocabulary they maybe have deemed ‘trashy’ or felt like mimicked the ‘mouth of a sailor’ when they, in public, are sweet and demure. For most men, there isn’t much sexier, than that lovely, prim and proper, soccer mom wife of his, who chairs the PTA and sings in the choir, but is still his – all his – and VERY vocal about how he makes her feel when it’s just the two of them.

How To Be The KING Of Foreplay!

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Foreplay is crucial, because great sex starts before penetration. Women need foreplay to become fully aroused, because they simply just don’t “turn on” instantly like a lot of guys do. But many men tend to overlook foreplay, because they think that if they pound away harder, his partner will orgasm faster and harder. Hey, it holds true for him, why not for her?

Unfortunately, this is completely untrue, and can actually guarantee that your partner will not get to orgasm at all. Most women don’t climax during actual intercourse and if they do, it’s because there was some heavy foreplay first. In fact, some of the most intense orgasms a woman can have are through foreplay alone. If you don’t engage in foreplay first, it’s likely that your partner isn’t going to want to have sex with you very often! Instead, here are the things you need to know to be the best of the best when it comes to giving your lover the right kind of foreplay.

Learn To Use Your Fingers

After some deep kissing and heavy petting, you want to move on to her vulva. Get her nice and warmed up first, by lightly touching all around the area and kissing it and maybe even licking around a little.

Once she’s warmed up enough, make sure to focus your attention on her clitoris and G -Spot – these should be your first priority. Of course, if she’s not fully aroused first and isn’t craving your touch, you’re not going to get very far. This is part of why foreplay is so important – if you head straight for the clitoris or G-spot and your partner isn’t fully aroused, it could be very uncomfortable for them.

Also, it is very important for you to remember to keep your fingernails clean and trimmed smoothly. Although a workin’ man with very “manly,” callused hands can be a turn on to some women, no girl wants you to start putting your hands down there when they are filthy and grimy.

Talk Dirty To Her

Dirty talk is a great way to get a woman so hot and bothered, that it will become much easier for her to let her body go, and have loads of very powerful orgasms, without even thinking about it. Next time you’re in the sack, whisper a few sexy things in her ear about how much you love what is happening, how good it feels, what you want her to do or what you’re going to do to her next. This works wonders in getting a woman incredibly turned on!

Get Your Grope On

Remember when you were younger, and simply fondling a girl was the most exciting thing to happen all week? Well, don’t be afraid to bring that back! And don’t just grab her breasts and butt! Gently scratch your nails down her back, tug her hair a little, and massage her inner-thighs.

The next time you see your girl minding her own business, don’t be afraid to get your grope on! Just because you’re older now and you’ve had sex, it doesn’t mean that sex should be the primary goal every time you start fooling around. Think back to the old days when it was fun, exciting and a little scary to grope around without knowing what will happen next!

When you can combine groping, dirty talk, and amazing skills with your fingers, thee is no doubt that your lover will go nuts every time you are in the room. So now it’s your duty to go out there, and please her booty!