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You are here: Home / Archives for sex tips

First Time Oral Sex: What You Need To Know

By loveandsex

Oral sex can be nerve wracking, especially if you haven’t tried it before. Here’s how to get started if you’ve never gone “down there” before.

Question: I’ve yet to go down on my girlfriend, and I’m really not sure where to start. I’m a bit nervous, but not scared just eager to get started. What do you suggest for a first-timer like me?

His First Time

  • Check to make sure that she’s really excited before oral sex starts.
  • If you think you’re going too fast, you probably are. Remind yourself often to slow things down a bit, and take your time. There’s no rush.
  • Focus on being gentle and creating rhythmic pressure. Ignore whatever your friends have told you, or anything pornography-related that you’ve watched or read. Having said that, being gentle doesn’t mean not engaged or floppy; you still want to be firm and focused, just not so aggressive and eager that you hurt your partner.
  • Ignore her clitoris for the first little bit. There will be lots of time to get there, but for now explore the rest of her while she’s getting excited.
  • Follow a set series of licks to see what she likes and what she responds too. Feel free to ask her what feels good, but don’t ask her so many questions that she can’t get lost in the moment either.
  • Share with her how much you’re enjoying going down on her!
  • Don’t worry about the g-spot or any fancy handwork in the beginning.
  • Feel what works and what doesn’t for both of you. Let yourself find a rhythm and get lost in it. Let your body do what feels right, and don’t over think it.
  • Make her pleasure your first priority, not her orgasm. Focus on the fun, not just the end result. If you’re enjoying yourself, she will too.

The first few times she may not have an orgasm when you go down on her and that’s okay. Just enjoy the process, learn more about each other sexually, and as time progresses it’ll happen eventually.

Her First Time

Question: My guy wants to go down on me, and I don’t really know what to think. No one has ever given me an orgasm before, although I have faked it a few times. I am able to orgasm during masturbation, just not with a partner. He says that he’ll make me orgasm when he goes down on me, and I like the idea of that. Still, I’m nervous and scared that he might not like how I taste or smell, and that I won’t be able to orgasm with him either no matter how hard he tries. What should I do?

Your boyfriend sounds like he’s got the right mindset, and he’s already figured out that he’s more likely to give you an orgasm using his tongue than with sexual intercourse. Your clitoris is where the action is at, and why you’re able to consistently give yourself an orgasm via masturbation too. Sex in and of itself rarely gives a woman an orgasm, unless she’s found a great angle that stimulates her clitoris from the outside and/or inside. Obviously you already know what rhythm and pressure works for you to reach climax, so it’s just a matter of time before your boyfriend finds the same thing.

As well, you’re eager and interested, even if you have some residual trepidations and that’s okay. You can orgasm with masturbation, so that means there’s a good chance you can with oral sex too. Here’s what I recommend for your first few forays with your boyfriend:

  • Try and make your focus about having fun and the pleasure your boyfriend wants to give you. Ignore whether or not you orgasm; it’s not the end result you’re looking for the first few times out.
  • Let your boyfriend get excited about giving you oral sex, and share with him about your focus too that you want it to be fun and pleasurable, and that you want to just learn how to enjoy the experience rather than try to climax right away. You both need to be on the same page for this to work.
  • Take lots of time for foreplay before you start receiving oral sex. Spend more time than normal getting prepped, excited and in the mood. What gets you aroused when you masturbate? Feel free to use those things too.
  • If when you masturbate a dildo or other toy is used, ask your boyfriend if he’d be willing to use it on you too.
  • Show your boyfriend what feels good and what doesn’t. Let him see how you masturbate, what rhythm you enjoy, what types of pressure work for you, and when. Now isn’t the time to be shy, but rather, share what works.
  • If your boyfriend does something you like tell him! Give him lots of positive reinforcement, and give him ideas when something doesn’t feel quite right. It might be that you aren’t quite excited enough for whatever it was he tried, so he can try it again later. Whatever you do, be sure to tell him he’s doing great and appreciate him for his efforts.
  • Baths, candles, sensual massages, lubrication and creating a romantic atmosphere will all help you relax and feel clean, sexy and ready for action.
  • Do whatever you need to get in the same head space as when you masturbate. How do you relax then and let go? What distracts you? Keep an eye on it all the next time you play with yourself, and then use those same techniques when your boyfriend is around too.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, first time sex, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

How To Make Your Girl Ejaculate During Sex – 7 Explosive Steps To Heavenly Orgasmic Pleasures Exposed!

By lloydlester

Squirting is real alright – and it’s not just pee. Here’s how to turn your lover into a squirting queen!

This might be new to you but contrary to popular belief, women do experience the release of ejaculation just like guys do. Kudos to the men who can make their ladies “gush” and attain the ultimate in sexual ecstasy! For those who want their women to climax with ejaculation during your intimate moments with her, the following steps will come in handy!

More Foreplay Builds Up More Fluid

Make the foreplay hot and steamy for her. Start out with small bites on her ear lobes and along the contours of her neck, followed by smooth and tender sucking on her nipples. Give light touches along her torso with your fingertips. Do these until you come into contact with the inner part of her thighs. Let her be the one to guide you once she is prepared to take the exploration to another level.

Oral Sex Will Get Her Primed

Start off with a few easy oral sex techniques. You can begin by sliding your tongue along the vulva to her clitoris and along the borders of her vagina. The upward and downward motion of your tongue should be done repeatedly and unhurriedly. Use the broad part of your tongue for best results.

Touch Her Lightly

Allow the tip of your tongue to travel along her labia minora. To make this more pleasurable for her, let your tongue slide along this minute mound together with some momentary sucking.

Next Stop Is The Clitoris!

Tenderly suck on her clitoris. You can move your tongue in various directions. Make your hands busy at the same time. Gently caress her breasts and have the tips of your fingers give light touches on her nipples and on the most sensitive spots of her body.

Roll That Tongue!

Curl your tongue into a tube-like shape and insert it into her as gently as you can. This step may be a little tricky especially for first-timers, but with enough practice, you can make her go wild.

The Power Of Fingering

Insert two fingers into her vagina with your palm facing upward. Find her G-spot – a mound of flesh inside her vagina, about one to two inches in size. Lightly touch and add pressure on the G-spot using your fingertips. You will feel this flesh swelling up and become more rigid as you continue to stimulate it.

The Wildest, WETTEST Orgasm She’s Ever Had!

At this point, she will most likely reach the peak of sexual excitement and be able to experience the “gush” of ejaculation. However, before she ejaculates, she may have a tingling urge to urinate. Assure her that it perfectly safe for her to let go. Act natural and make her feel that you are totally at ease with her because this way, the sexual encounter becomes a lot more special. And with this, she will surely ask for more!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female ejaculation, female orgasm, fingering, g spot, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips, squirting

Kissing Do’s And Don’ts (Avoid THESE & Make Her Melt!)

By loveandsex

Kissing can make or break sexual tension – and if you mess up, you could risk not getting laid! Make sure you’ve got everything right with these kissing tips.

The First Intimate Contact

Nothing can make or break you as a lover like kissing. It is the first real intimate contact you have with your partner, and the way you kiss can alter her feelings for you completely. If you’re too aggressive, too sloppy, or just too much, you could end up killing whatever attraction she had for you to begin with. However, kiss her just right, and she will be putty in your hands. What makes a kiss spectacular really depends on the couple, but here are some do’s and don’ts that are pretty universal.

Hygiene Is Essential

Don’t fall victim to sewer mouth. You could have lips as luscious as Brad Pitt, but bad breath will ruin the moment. Cigarette smokers especially have to watch the halitosis.

Do take care of your teeth. Brush, floss, and rinse with mouth wash daily. Popping a breath mint right before making out helps, but it won’t get rid of festering gunk already up in there. Nobody wants to make out with a guy who has teeth like a meth addict.

Use Tongue Sparingly

Don’t jam your tongue down her throat. It is the most common kissing error made by men. Once things get heated up, the feel of your tongue will set her ablaze! Ramming your tongue into her mouth before her lips are even parted will bring everything to a screeching halt. What, are you fifteen?

Do tease her with the tip of your tongue. Once you’ve been kissing for a bit, feel free add a little tongue, but think of it more as a lick than a jab. Keep your tongue soft for maximum pleasure.

Don’t Assume You’re Having Sex

Don’t assume a kiss means you’re getting to have sex. For a woman, kissing can just be kissing. Physical contact with you helps to build her feelings of intimacy toward you. If every kiss leads to your putting your hands down her pants, she will begin to feel objectified, and a rift will form. Translation, you’ll never get any.

Do learn to love what she loves about kissing. There are a lot of nerve endings in your lips, allowing for sensations you may be ignoring. Close your eyes, and let the kiss be about the kiss.

Kiss Her When She’s Naked!

Don’t forget to kiss her when she’s naked! Kissing shouldn’t be just a tool to get into her pants. It’s an act of intimacy, and will make her feel relaxed and cared for during penetration. Plus, when you’re in the throes of passion your sense of touch is heightened, and this kiss will be felt through your entire body.

Filed Under: Kissing Tagged With: body language, flirting, kissing, sex tips

4 Ways To Make Squirting Even HOTTER!

By loveandsex

Squirting can be a lot of fun – letting go like that can mean the difference between having an “okay” orgasm and having a mind blowing, sheet soaking orgasm! If squirting is something you’ve just learned to do, check out how you can make it even BETTER!

Don’t Worry About The Sheets

Have a change of sheets on hand, and if you have to, put one of those plastic bed protectors under your sheet (or just a bunch of towels). Sheets can be thrown in the wash and if you know you’re not going to ruin your mattress by squirting, you can really let go! (Yes, there are tons of women who have been unable to let go and ejaculate, simply because they were afraid of making a mess or ruining the bed).

Of course, you can still role play the incredible “I’m-such-a-bad-girl-and-I-made-such-a-big-mess” fantasy, even though you know you can clean up by just throwing the sheets in the washing machine.

Ask To Squirt In Your Partner’s Mouth

Hey, he wants you to swallow, right? Why not let him do the same to you? If the idea of squirting all over your partner’s face and in their mouth turns you on, you’re not the first woman (nor the first man) to find the idea attractive. Heck, you wouldn’t be the first person to find the idea downright hot.

You don’t want to be squirting in your partner’s face if they’re not expecting it though – because they might not be down with it. You don’t like it when a guy ejaculates in your mouth when you’re giving him a blowjob without fair warning first, right? And if you’re a girl who really doesn’t like to swallow, you’re going to be pretty pissed (and possibly very nauseated) if a guy ejaculates in your mouth without letting you know first or giving you the opportunity to finish him off with a handjob.

So talk about this first, and see if it’s something that your guy thinks is hot too. Chances are, he will. Guys can be pretty freaky like that.

Hold A Mirror Up

If you’re just learning how to squirt – or you’ve been squirting for awhile but you’ve never seen the action before – grab a large mirror and have your partner hold it up so you can see yourself ejaculate. If you’re lucky, your squirting session will be good enough that it ends up all over the mirror!

The best way to do this is during masturbation, so your partner can hold the mirror. If you don’t have a partner and still want to watch yourself squirt, find a way to prop the mirror up. Make sure the mirror is close enough that you can ejaculate on it if you’re able to (yeah, that’s totally hot), and because it’s just not going to look as good if you’re too far away from the mirror.

Through masturbation, you have control over both your orgasm and your ejaculation, so you can make it as good as you want it to be! Extend your masturbation session to build up more fluid if you want stronger squirting!

Videotape It

Another alternative to watching yourself squirt in the mirror is to videotape it. Be careful to whom you give a copy of the tape to though! You might just end up finding a video of yourself on YouPorn.

Either have your partner hold the camera or put it on a tripod (this is the better idea) and get busy. You’ll probably want to make sure you’re nice and groomed down there first, whether you shave completely or trim. If this video does get out, you want to look your best, right? Of course, you also want to look great so that you (and your lover) can enjoy watching your squirting video again and again.

Again, videotaping your squirting while masturbating is probably the best way to go here because it allows you the most control over your orgasm and ejaculation, however, if you’re a squirting pro, you can probably still achieve – and tape – your ejaculation while having sex with a partner. Don’t be afraid to pan in with the video camera and get lots of great close up shots if you’re able to. In fact, many of the hottest squirting videos end up with the woman’s ejaculatory fluid all over the camera!

Remember the key to great squirting is really letting go. Don’t care who watches, what people think or anything else. Just focus on how good it feels and how WILD it will be when you gush all over the place!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female ejaculation, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips, squirting

16 Oral Sex (And Other) Facts You Didn’t Know!

By loveandsex

Oral sex isn’t always just what meets the eye (or mouth) – did you know these surprising oral – and other sex facts?

For those of you who find quick tips appealing without the need to read over in detail a large amount of information, peek through these interesting leaps in science and society for some useable suggestions and facts about oral sex.

Flossing And Brushing Increases Risk

Risk of what, you ask? The risk of contracting a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD), unfortunately. Brushing and flossing if done right may open miniscule cuts, expose more surfaces, and increase the chances of bleeding. So instead of doing your nightly hygiene routine before going down, just swish some mouthwash and leave the full cleaning until a few hours after you’re finished.

Saliva May Protect Against Some STD’s

Swedish researchers discovered after following several dozen HIV-positive patients and their lovers, that thirteen of the study’s participants developed antibodies in their saliva that protected them against their partner’s disease. Now, that doesn’t mean that HIV cannot be contracted through oral sex, but it does show promise with determining what does protect people from the disease, and how to lower one’s risks to contracting it.

Women Just As Hot To Trot As Men

There is a myth circulating that states women take approximately twenty minutes to get aroused. Interestingly, a study performed at McGill University found that women are aroused just as fast as men are (on average) in about 11 to 12 minutes.

Don’t Dismiss Playing With Her Breasts

Masters and Johnson discovered that one percent of the women they tested were able to orgasm just from having their breasts and nipples played with.

Surgery Might Be Moot

In North America, there’s a new surgery sold to women who feel that their Labia are too big, long, or droopy. The procedure, called a labiaplasty, is mainly used with women who feel that the size of their labia prevents them from achieving a positive sex life. Yet in Uganda, women take a mixture of herbs and apply them to their Labia to make them plumper and longer, believing that their male partners find this attractive.

The Feet Have It

The next time you want to get your partner in the mood, try an old reflexology tactic that is sure to get her lower half raring to go: find the soft bit right under the ankle bone on her heel, and stroke it with a firm grasp in small circles.

Day Fifteen Is the Sweet Spot

Depending on the woman, some find that the middle of their cycle is the hottest and most conducive to some really exciting action. The next time she tells you it’s that time of the month, make a note on your calendar for two weeks after. Within a day or two of that mark, her body might be specially primed for sensual touch. Yet it’s the few days just before menstruation and during that women are most likely to orgasm, as the increase in blood flow in the genital region allows for better lubrication and sensitivity, thus increasing their pleasure quotient.

Coffee As a Sexual Motivator

A recent study found that a jolt of caffeine helped rats become more sexually motivated. One more reason to make sure you and your partner get your daily dose, especially if you’re a fan of the wake up romp.

Sexual Desire Drops After Four Years

Not surprisingly, a team of German biologists found that women desire sex less once they are in a committed, long term relationship. The longer they were together it seemed, the more their libido dropped; after four years, half of the women questioned wanted sex less than their partners did.

Fantasy Helps Satisfy

The more a woman fantasizes say researchers, the more satisfied she is with her sex life. Increase her pleasure by asking her to tell you about her favorite sexual fantasies while you’re going down on her, and see what happens.

The Pill As A Pill

The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that women who come off the Pill may experience lower levels of arousal for up to a year after stopping the medication. Researchers think that it may have to do with a protein called SHBG, which stops testosterone from forming a building block to sexual arousal for both men and women. If you suspect coming off the Pill as the reason why your lady isn’t as excited as normal, try feeding her bananas, avocados, figs and/or pine nuts, all which have shown to (safely) increase testosterone without any of nasty side effects that testosterone in a bottle might harbor.

How Long Does It Last?

If it takes you and your partner about ten minutes to move from foreplay to sex, you aren’t alone. The Journal of Sex Research found that the average amount of time couples spend on foreplay is 11 to 13 minutes per session.

She’s Filled With Nerves

The tip of a woman’s clitoris holds around eight thousand nerve endings more than any other part of the human body. In contrast, the head of a man’s penis only has about four thousand.

She Comes Last

During sex, more than seventy-five percent of men have an orgasm during sex, whereas women climax all of the time closer to thirty percent. That’s why giving your partner oral helps to increase those odds, because you know she’s been taken care of, first.

The Smells That Arouse

Women are most attracted to men whose breath smells like peppermint, whereas men find the combination of pumpkin and lavender on a woman to be the most arousing.

Oral Sex As A Medical Prescription

In 1926, via Theodore van de Velde’s book, Ideal Marriage, cunnilingus was prescribed as the first ‘legitimate’ method to ensure a woman’s adequate lubrication prior to intercourse.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

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