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Sex Tips – The REAL Secret to Sexual Confidence

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Sex can be a wonderful and exciting part of any relationship, bringing great joy to both (or more) partners. But so often a couple just isn’t sexually in sync. For whatever reason, they just don’t click sexually.

A common reason for these sex problems is the lack of open and honest communication.

This is a deeply engrained societal issue… people just aren’t comfortable talking openly about sex, not even with their sex partners. And guess what – your partner isn’t going to read your mind. If you don’t let them know what you want, they won’t know.

When lovers do talk, it’s often about the physical – the logistics of love making, not about their deep fantasies and desires. So often we get questions from people who can’t seem to get a particular sex position just right.

It’s not about getting the other person to orgasm in any particular position or another, but rather about feeling desired, felling wanted, feeling your partner’s lust and craving for you – feeling the intense heat of passion. And it’s about making your partner experience that as well.

That’s something to strive for. It’s that shared desire that brings great sexual confidence.

Today’s question is from a lady dealing with the difficult issue of sexual confidence.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I find myself burdened with an unfortunate insecurity. I don’t feel confident in bed. I have had a number of good and bad relationships that have left me knowing a lot about my soul, but little about success in bed. My first sex partner used to become extremely angry and offended if I didn’t want to have sex. He would lay guilt trips down, refuse to speak to me, or yell. It wasn’t until after leaving the relationship that I realized how badly it made me feel about myself, and how unnecessary/abusive it was. I dated another boy after him who was just the opposite, we dated for 3 years and he rarely initiated sex, not wanting to make me feel pressured. We spoke freely of our feelings, and by the end he felt more comfortable being aggressive. The second relationship helped me feel comfortable with myself and men, however neither relationship really left me feeling like a sex goddess.

Now, I have finally found someone who is helping me explore my sexual side. I recently started dating a French man I met, and he really knows how to turn me on! The problem is… with every boyfriend, I have never been able to get a guy to cum from a blow job, and I’ve never really been the one on top during sex. Frenchie keeps trying to get me on top, but every time I do, it’s like I’ve broken his penis! I’m 140 lbs, not obese; and he’s no waif… His penis is medium size, so it’s not as if it’s some stub that would break if a sparrow sat on it! I’ve tried sitting straight up and moving up and down, or leaning forward and moving forward and back, but while he is encouraging, it’s never successful. I’m also afraid that sitting straight up leads me to bouncing rather than riding… and that seems to hurt! As for the blow-jobs, I can’t seem to get a rhythm; or when I do (and this is highly embarrassing) he jokingly asked if I would like to breath!

He is perfectly confident and supportive, and I’d really like to get over my insecurities. I’m sorry for such a long explanation and please, if you have any advice, it would do a lot of help.

Desperately,
Finally French (Pennsylvania)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTn6yPtFNAU[/youtube]

Check out this resource we recommend to really spice up your sex life:

Female Orgasm and Oral Sex? What’s a Girlfriend to do?

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OK, so you’re in a great relationship and the sex is great too…

Except for the fact that there are one or two sexual positions or techniques that you just can’t seem to get ‘right’.  Is it really important to be able to have an orgasm in certain positions or while performing certain acts such as oral sex?

That’s what today’s question is all about…

Dear Dan and Jennifer.

Hi, I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 21.  We’ve been having sex for almost a year now.  We have GREAT sex.  He’s given me multiple orgasms during intercourse.

There’s just one thing he has never been able to get me to orgasm on and that is when he gives me oral sex.  We’ve tried many things like whipped cream, hot chocolate, and ice.

I feel bad because he thinks that he’s just not doing it good enough to please me.  I don’t know what to do because he’ll ask me what I like and I really don’t like it that much. I don’t masturbate so I really don’t know what I like.  I have tried it but it’s just something I really don’t do.

Is there something wrong with me that I just can’t get an orgasm from oral sex.  Or are there some things or techniques you could advise me to try out with him.  I just don’t know what to do anymore and I could use some advice.

Thank you,
Amy

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay45L_aHIAg[/youtube]

Here’s a resource we recommend for helping women achieve orgasm every time:

Can She Get Pregnant If We Take a Hot Steamy Bath Together?

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Pregnancy Myth vs. Fact

Can she get pregnant while taking a hot, steamy bath together, even if we have swimsuits on?

The short answer to this question is "NO". There are many myths out there about what will and will not cause a woman to get pregnant. These myths are even more prominent in some of the more conservative religious family cultures because sex is simply not talked about in the home, so the kids grow up believing all kinds of myths and and tall tales about sex. It’s such a mystery to them…

In this case, sperm do not live very long outside of the body and when you throw in the chlorine from the bath, the little guys just don’t have a chance. Barring some type of immaculate conception, it’s very, very unlikely that a woman could get pregnant this way.

But don’t get too smug just yet, she COULD still get pregnant…

The Real Question About Sex, Pregnancy, and a "Hot Bath"

Here is a very interesting twist on this topic. If a couple is taking a hot bath together, are they sitting at opposite corners of this bath tub? Are they six feet away from one another? Are they waving at each other and having to yell across the pool to hear each other?

No? So then, what ARE are they doing exactly? Is there any alcohol involved?

In these situations proximity leads to more proximity… and that often leads to what we call "slippage". 🙂 Couples can get lost in the heat of the moment and before you know it – "Whoops!"

So the real question is: "What are they really doing in the steamy, hot tub together?"

Taking a bath is highly unlikely. They are more likely pursuing mild, pseudo-sexual relations but are afraid to call it sex because of whatever silly taboo or maybe just a little shyness. So what can you do?

Call it what it is and take the appropriate precautions. Wear a condom if you really, really want to be safe.

Safe Sex Recommended Reading

If you really want to get a better understanding about sex, and especially safe sex, here are a couple of books that will get you started on the right path.

The first one is the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. Whenever you want to learn a new topic, the Idiot’s Guide and even the For Dummies series are great because they cover so many aspects of the subject very thoroughly. They’re also generally very well written and easy to read.

Another book which is a very well illustrated and also very tastefully done is the Sexopedia by Anne Hooper.

If your parents didn’t bother talking to you about sex, like most parents don’t, go grab these two books and you will better informed. It’s a much better idea than getting this info from your buddies and flying blind…

Sex is a natural and beautiful part of life, but it’s also a very serious topic. What you don’t know about sex CAN hurt you. If you’re going to partake in it (even if you don’t quite call it "sex"), get educated and be smart about it.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

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Here’s a common scenario…

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together, we rarely have sex. We are becoming more like best friends and I’m scared the passion is fading.

I don’t want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it. What can I do?

Watch this short video to find out how you can spice up your sex life and bring back that spark you had in the beginning…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pupUg1sSmW0[/youtube]

Do Women REALLY Want Sex as Much as Men?

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Sex is always a heated topic of discussion over which men and women are usually at odds.

Just listen over the shoulders of men and women sitting at the bar. Women wonder why men just don’t understand them sexually. And men wonder why they can’t get more action.

Quite the dilemma, wouldn’t you say?

Here’s the problem…

Most men assume that sex is something that’s to be won over from the women like a special prize. They seem to think that women don’t want sex as much as they do, because of the incredible lack of response they get from women.

Could it be possible that women really don’t want sex as much as men?

Watch this short video to find out…

By the way, can you count how many times Dan says sex in this short segment? 🙂

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYGWY0TEo5A[/youtube]

Check out this resource we recommend to really spice up your sex life: