sex tips – Page 74

3 Keys To Erotic Massage

Erotic massage will get a woman warmed up for sex, but you need to do it right. With these three tips, you can give your girl an outstanding erotic massage!

It’s not about targeting deep muscles as it is simply adoring lover’s skin. As such, you really have great autonomy going about it. Sensuality is not found on the strokes, but in YOUR PRESENCE – it’s in the vibes you give off.

1. Be In The Moment

For the commercially available masseur, touching her is a job, and they have done it to several other clients that day. But for you, touching the beloved is a delight, you don’t count minutes during foreplay as you’re not being paid by the hour.

Effect slow, leisurely motions and take in the sensual bombardment.

Make no mistake, giving the sensual massage is just as blissful as receiving it. In spite being the giver, notice how your senses get bombarded with stimulation, feel through your palms the softness and suppleness of her body.

Delight your eyes at the curves of her of illuminated form. Smell the tingling scent of oil or lube rising from her skin and be attuned to her breaths and moans of rapture. Take this all in and you’ll find that giving the massage is just as great.

2. Have Confidence

Don’t go touching your partner’s body as if it’s the first time you’ve held a girl. The worst thing is to give off that vibe of uncertainty – she’ll catch it. Instead of melting and succumbing to your touch, she’ll get self-conscious and uptight. Not good for your cause.

Lead with confidence, move with control. You’re not putting on a show. Women know it if a guy has confidence. In sex, SLOOOOW is how confident and controlled men execute. This is not yet the time to gallop like a run-away pony. Don’t worry, she’ll feel your kick later.

3. Breath Regularly & Deeply

Yes, breathing is an attitude. And a pretty important one at that.

It does sound like the most basic thing, but breathing is also the most important. Everything starts with the way you breathe. When you take in oxygen, you’re replenishing life forces in your body, and if there’s one thing I want you to learn about erotic massage, and sex in general, it is to breathe regularly and deeply. Observe how a sleeping person does it, that’s the kind of relaxed and leisurely affair we’re gunning for.

The arts of Tantra and meditation have proper breathing as their cornerstone. Good luck being sensual and confident while panting delirious. (Many today live on shallow and quick breath cycles – and they still wonder why their days are always tense and nervous.)

Respiratory rate affects the rest of your body, getting fresh and ample amount of oxygen relaxes your muscles, for example. And observe how slowing down movements becomes really easy when you also slow down your breathing. Emotions, like anger, are held stable through regular and deep supply of air – as it’s very difficult to get mad when your breathing is as steady as a Uranium clock.

Are You Missing The Secret To Sex That Truly Lasts?

By lloydlester

Premature ejaculation doesn’t have to ruin your life any more! Discover the SECRET truth on how you can have as much stamina as you WANT!

If you’re anything like most guys reading this, you probably have had your hand raised up high. For many men, sexual endurance and self-confidence go hand in hand in the bedroom. If you are not lasting longer enough, your sense of self worth and confidence are likely to plummet.

How Long Is Long Enough?

There is something about adult movies that gives men the misconception that sex should last for an hour or more. But the simple truth is, you only need to last as long as a YouTube clip!

While the debate about ideal sexual stamina has been ongoing for as long as mankind, sexual therapists have in recent years suggest that intercourse that lasts from 3 to 7 minutes is satisfactory. Anything from 7 to 13 minutes is considered desirable – not including the time reserved for foreplay.

Sounds surprising? Well it shouldn’t be. Considering that most women need about 7 to 15 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach an orgasm, the suggested duration for “desirable” sex sounds logical.

Here’s the simple truth – great sex does NOT involve a stopwatch. Many men are so preoccupied about not wanting to climax too soon, that they ended up doing exactly what they fear most! Sexual anxiety will almost always impair your performance in bed!

Don’t Focus On The “Magic” Number

For a woman, great sex involves a slow, titillating build-up that envelopes both her mind and body. Use this to your advantage. Don’t view sex in terms of duration. View it in terms of quality. Such a mindset will do a whole lot of good to your confidence in bed.

You see, of all the “instruments” you can use to stimulate and arouse a woman sexually – your fingers, tongue and penis – the last one is ironically the one you have the least amount of control over.

How To Accelerate Her Sexual Anticipation

So, use your fingers and tongue to heighten her anticipation and arousal FIRST. Give her sensual hot spots some tender, loving attention. And I don’t just mean the obvious places. A woman is incredibly blessed with many erogenous areas on her body. The nape of her neck, her ear lobes, the underside of her arms are all great places to start with.

When a woman is sufficiently aroused before penetration, it actually lowers her threshold for orgasm, reducing the turnaround time for her to reach a climax during intercourse. And when that happens, your confidence will soar, performance anxiety will take a backseat, and you will naturally last longer too!

The Difference Between Sex And Making Love

By loveandsex

Sex is sometimes just sex and other times it’s “making love” – this happens when you really open yourself up to someone you care about.

How Do You Best Distinguish Between The Two?

“Just sex” usually takes place outside the context of a loving relationship – one-night stands for example. People get horny – so they get laid, it’s that simple. Men and women use each other to get an orgasm or two. Motivation is mostly physical and very little, if at all, emotional. In fact, emotional entanglements are avoided and little consideration is given to the partner’s enjoyment.

“Making love,” as especially seen by women, is more romantic – more tender, respectful and considerate. It’s what lovers do. The people involved have feelings and emotional investments on each other. Motivation is both physical and emotional.

If lust shoves the penis down her throat, love slides it in while caressing her cheek.
If lust ejaculates on her face, love is kissing her tenderly.
If lust is fast, short & furious, love is sensual, slow and romantic.
If lust is purely physical, love is largely emotional & psychological.
If lust is penile penetration, love is penetration – and more.

Are There Any “Gray” Areas?

Although at first glance, the two may seem like night and day, but there are actually a lot of gray areas between the two. Differences can be very subtle and one could argue that they’re really one and the same. The two cannot be objectively evaluated in terms of actions, and it’s not as if they are mutually exclusive. There isn’t really much difference in terms of actuations.

“Making love” can be passionate as well as fast and furious. “Just sex” can also be sensual and slow. People in loving relationships can have sex just for the heck of it. And even one-night stands can come with romance, albeit not very often.

Pay Attention To Your Emotions

It’s in the perception and interpretation of the players. It is FELT, not seen. It is in the individual to perceive whether what’s happening is simply lust, or a combination of lust, like and love or something else.

If a woman interprets things one way, then that’s what it is! If over time, she changes her mind, and develops feelings and sees the two of you as ‘making love’, then FOR HER, it’s making love.

If it’s “just sex” to you, then FOR YOU, it’s just sex.

What If You’re Not On The Same Page With Your Lover?

Unpleasant surprises arise when partners’ views don’t match. She’s making love, and he’s just in it for the sex. And because they have differing perceptions, they consequently have incongruous expectations and behaviors. She expects him to be generous and loving, but since they’re not on the same page, he might not be those things at all!

A great lover avoids unnecessary complications by making sure they’re both on the same page. Playing with women’s emotions is NOT cool!

BDSM Basics: How To Get Started

By kendallashley

BDSM is a sex activity that incorporates bondage, domination, submission and masochism. If you have been interested in BDSM for a while, but don’t know how to get started with it, there are a few things that you can do to ease into the scene.

BDSM is very kinky and can be a lot of fun. However, your comfort level might not be the same as your partner’s. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran of the scene, you should always know what you are comfortable with and what is going to be beyond your limits. Here is a quick guide to help you get started with BDSM.

What Are You Into?

As mentioned before, there are a lot of subsets with BDSM. Whether you’re into bondage or domination, you need to determine what makes you hot. Some men are really into dominating their partner while others would rather be the submissive. If you are into being whipped or incorporating a little pain into the relationship then you must be careful.

Telling your girlfriend or wife to bite your nipples is a little different than being chained to a bed and flogged. Determine what you are into and what is off limits before you ever bring this up with your partner. Knowing your limits will help define what is acceptable and what is not.

Master Vs. Slave

“Master” and “slave” are a very common terms in BDSM. In this scenario, one of you will be the master and one of you will be the slave. The master controls all aspects of the slave’s life. This means they control their privacy, what they do and when they can perform certain tasks. In many cases, the slave will wear a uniform and a collar. Some slaves do not feel comfortable wearing a collar, but others prefer it. In this form of domination, the actions do not always have to be sexual.

A master can designate certain tasks for the slave to complete. These tasks could include housework or sexual actions. The master is in charge of the slave and the slave must abide by the master’s rules. If you are interested in either of these roles, it’s recommended that you get direction from an experienced dominatrix or a slave.

Experimenting With Bondage

Bondage is another form of BDSM that you can get into fairly easily. The most intricate of bondage equipment will involve chains or bed straps, but you can easily improvise. Using neckties or pieces of satin fabric will not break the skin but can restrain easily. Rope is not recommended unless you are experienced because it will irritate the skin during movement.

Handcuffs work well and can be found at local adult stores or at toy stores. It’s recommended that you buy a good pair of handcuffs as plastic can break easily. If you are the one being restrained, make sure that your partner secures the restraints so you cannot move easily. Bondage allows you or your partner to relinquish control, which a lot of people find sexy.

What Is Masochism?

Masochism is another aspect of BDSM. Masochism is a consensual agreement between you and your partner involving the giving and the receiving of pain. There are different levels of masochism. There is extreme pain and then there is just a little pain. If you have ever enjoyed your girlfriend or wife scratching you with her fingernails then you have experienced a very tame form of masochism.

Masochism is enjoyed in the realm of sexuality. In order words, slamming your hand in a door is not the same as getting whipped by your girlfriend. Start off slow with masochism. Getting too much pain at once can ruin the experience quickly. Start out with a bullwhip and then work your way up to other tools.

Always Keep Safety In Mind

Safety is a must when it comes to BDSM. You must keep safety in the forefront of your mind so you are not only comfortable but also safe from any diseases or puncture wounds. It’s all too easy to get over-enthusiastic and wind up with a lash across your back that hurts for days or even scars. Have a safe word in place with your partner and research any methods that you are going to use before you implement them into the bedroom.

Make sure that all of your restraints are secure so they don’t come flying off the bedposts while in use. Also make sure that your restraints aren’t going to damage your furniture. Discuss any rules beforehand with your partner so they know what is off limits. Use these guidelines and you should be off to a great start with your first BDSM experience.

Simultaneous Orgasm Vs. Taking Turns – The Winner Will Surprise You!

By loveandsex

Simultaneous orgasm has long been touted as the be all and end all of great sex. But can you have incredible sex without a simultaneous orgasm?

A destructive myth running rampant among couples today is the belief that: Great sex has to be characterized by simultaneous gratification.

A lofty standard, don’t you think?

The pursuit of simultaneous orgasms, as one consequence of this mindset, has partners on the ever frustrating hunt for this phenomenon. But no matter what they say, synchronized orgasms are rare, and only a few couples ever achieve them on a consistent basis.

How This Myth Can Ruin Your Sex Life

This can create a stigma for the partner who climaxes first – whether it’s the man or woman – especially when they think that if sex is a race, and orgasm, the finish line, the ideal is for both partners to finish together. After all, they started at the same time, right? So they should climax as a couple!

However, the physical and psychological differences between men and women make this rarely achievable. Men are aroused faster than a speeding bullet, women are not so. Penetration has more orgasm potential for men than women – who have their clitorises only indirectly stimulated by the invading penis. This usually leads to the man peaking first. And if ‘great sex’ for you means simultaneous climaxes, then you’re going to have some problems.

Sexual syncronicity doesn’t necessarily mean the couple orgasming exactly at the same moment. Climaxing together may be highly sought after, but the practical and more realistic way of doing things is to take turns!

Why It’s Better When You Take Turns

Sexual pleasure needn’t be concurrent for partners, a give & take view is much better — with a time for giving and a time to be on the receiving end.

Yes, both pleasures may coincide and there are lots of instances when this happens. Kissing and hugging are examples. Enjoy them, but don’t make them the standard. Pleasure doesn’t have to happen simultaneously; sometimes it’s even better that way.

Take the ‘69’ position for example. Though erotic, it’s frankly not so effective because so much is going on at once. Your brain has to decide if it’s going to focus on the pleasure received, or the pleasure given.

TAKE TURNS. When you both try to lead and put on a show, sex will feel like Greco-Roman wrestling. Sex is EQUAL & MUTUAL, but not necessarily simultaneous. There will surely be moments when you do most of the work and she’ll just lie there, with eyes closed, enjoying you. Other times, you’ll be still and she’ll be riding you like a veteran cowgirl.

Switching off gives both the chance to completely focus on what’s happening. When she’s receiving, she can just relax as your tongue explores her innermost sanctum. She doesn’t have to do anything while you’re at it. Although you’re getting satisfaction by seeing her enjoyment, your role is primarily that of a giver. And when it’s her turn, she can focus on what she wants to do, instead of giggling or writhing about as a result of your maneuvers.