sex tips – Page 84

Penis Size Matters – Or Does It?

Penis size is a big deal to girls – isn’t it? Or is it just an issue for guys? Does penis size really play that big of a role in sex, or is it a myth?

At one point or another every guy has pulled the old ruler up to himself to see how he measures up. Men are very touchy about their penis size. They think that the size of their Johnson signifies how much of a man they are. Without getting into the psychology of how a small member can affect a man’s life, we’ll just say that it does matter.

The problem is that a lot of guys think they have a small penis when in fact they are right at or above average. If you have caught a glance of another guy in the locker room and felt embarrassed, you need the facts first. Here is the real truth about your penis size.

Average Size When Flaccid

The average penis size when flaccid is about 3.75 inches in length. A flaccid member that measures between 3-4 inches in length when it is not erect is average. It is true that some guys have bigger penises than others. If you feel self-conscious about your genitals when changing in a locker room, remember that you are about average. If you’re not average, move on to the erection measurements. It must be noted that some guys are “growers” not showers. The head and shaft can enlarge by up to three times its length when erect.

Average Size With Erection

Most guys will not fret over being small when it’s flaccid. The biggest aspect of worrying about your penis size comes from being with a woman. When you’re with a woman, you will be erect. The average size of an erect member is about 6-7 inches in length. When you’re measuring your shaft, use a tape measure.

These are easier than using a ruler. Hold the tape measure at the tip of your penis and then bring it down to the base where your shaft meets your scrotum. If you have seen guys in the locker room with a Johnson that hangs 5 inches long, remember that it probably only grows to about 6-7 inches. Very few men actually have 9-11 inch penises.

What About Sex?

The main question that every guy has is whether or not he will be able to satisfy a woman. Unless your shaft is less than 4 inches in length there is no anatomical reason that you will not be able to please a woman in bed. Most guys do not know that the woman’s vagina is only about 3 inches long. This means that even with a 4 inch member, you will be able to reach her g-spot.

The vagina will expand and contract during sex, but only by 1 inch. If you have ever watched a porno with a guy that has a 10-11 incher, you may not have noticed how far he goes in. Most women are not comfortable taking the whole thing inside of her because the vagina is not equipped for that length.

What Can I Do?

There are a lot of enlargement products on the market. Pills, patches and extenders are just some of these. Pills like Viagra, Cialis and Extense are designed to increase blood flow. This has little to do with actual penis size. These pills are designed to make an erection stronger. If you really want to extend the length of your shaft, you should look into penile exercises.

Jelqing is a very popular exercise that “works out” the penis. The shaft is a muscle and it can be made bigger with the proper exercises. This could take months before you see any kind of return so be prepared before you think that it’s a miracle cure. Penis pumps can be used for enlargement, but they can hurt if not used properly. Make sure that you know how to use one before you try it out.

Your size is going to have little to do with how a girl sees you. If you have a very small member, you should talk to your doctor about possible solutions. Penile surgery is not recommended very often as it comes with a lot of risk. If you are an average size, you’ll still be able to give a woman an orgasm.

You will be able to do everything that a guy with an 8 incher can do. Check out some jelqing exercises if you would like to get a little bigger. Some people claim they have gained an inch to an inch and half from jelquing. Penis pumps are another product shown to work, but you must be careful. Talk to your doctor before you decide on anything, as they will be able to give you personalized advice.

6 Sexting Tips For Couples

By serenapaige

Sexting has taken the world by storm. The most common question about sexting is “Why would anybody send naked pictures of themselves?” The answer is that it can be really hot. If you would like to introduce sexting into your relationship there are a few things that you should know beforehand. Whether you’re just trying to mix things up or it’s been a long time interest, sexting can build a lot of anticipation throughout the day. If you’re not too sure how to start sexting as a couple, here are a few guidelines to follow.

1. Start Out Slow – Very Slow

Sexting is all about anticipation. If you rush into it you’re going to ruin all anticipation. Have you ever seen a stripper yank all of her clothes off in first 20 seconds of dancing? Of course not. You want to build up to the main event with your girlfriend or wife. A great way to start out is to ask them what they’re wearing. This gets them into the frame of mind to get descriptive. If you’re texting your boyfriend or husband, you can text them the same thing. When they text back, tell them how much you love that outfit and then make a physical reference. “I love how your ass looks in that dress” or something similar.

2. Plan What You’re Going To Say

Make sure that you’re comfortable with the things that you’re going to say. Remember that you will have to see your partner at some point so you don’t want to say anything that is too embarrassing or out there. For women, this isn’t really a problem. Men can handle, and will probably welcome, complete filth. However, men should watch it. It’s all too easy to fall into the sexting trap and send something that will turn her off or creep her out from the comfort of your cell phone’s keyboard. Think about what you’re saying before you send the text.

3. Lead Up To The Dirty Talk

Sexting can get very dirty, but lead up to it with anticipatory messages. “Wish you were here right now” or “I can’t wait to come home” can lead to a lot of anticipation. If your partner sends you something like this, ask them “Why?” This can lead into sexting easily. After your partner has texted you “Why?” follow up with something that is not necessarily dirty, but more loving. “I need you right now” or something like that is enough to get the message across without the attachment of a picture of your penis.

4. Actually Use Dirty Talk

Once you have established where the conversation is going it’s time to get into the grunt of it. “My cock is so hard” or “My pussy is so wet” works well as a follow up. If your partner is really sexual, they are going to follow up to your message with something even dirtier.

5. Escalate It

Sexting require escalation. Starting off slow and bringing the sexual level up is essential. You must escalate the sexting until you have a good rhythm going with the messages. Wait a little while between the texts. 3-5 minutes between the texts will build anticipation. Can you picture your partner sitting at his or her desk at work staring at the phone waiting for dirty talk to pop up? If not, then you’re not doing it right!

6. Send Pictures

Picture messaging has taken the cell phone industry by the balls. This is also a staple of sexting. When the time is right in the conversation you can ask for a picture. Tell your partner to go into the bathroom and take a dirty picture for you. This works much more for women than men. Surprisingly, women aren’t as likely to ask for a picture of your dong. There was a line in Seinfeld that pretty much applies to this: “Men are utilitarian. They’re built like Jeeps.”

The male body can be sexy, but it’s nothing compared to a woman’s body. Guys should remember that what they are saying is going to play much more of a part than a picture of them standing in a mirror with their penis in their hand.

Sexting can bring anticipation for the moment that your partner walks through the door in the afternoon. However, you need to know what you’re doing before you can get your partner turned on. Couples that sext often have better sex because text messages can be less personal than a face-to-face conversation. Having the ability to express your sexual desires through a phone can help you open up. Follow these guidelines and you’ll find your partner rushing home to fulfill their cravings.

Anal Sex Orgasm: Myth Or Fact?

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable for some women. Others don’t like it at all. However, you might have seen or heard of girls that can climax from anal stimulation. But is it really possible to have an orgasm from anal sex alone?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BPMStdLzVM&feature=plcp&context=C3d0528cUDOEgsToPDskISqcHkt_h0YDOFnjdgR32b[/youtube]

Is It True?

Can you have anal orgasm? Yes, you can. “Can” being the operative word here.

Theoretically, all people can have anal orgasms. Some think it’s from the excitement of anal sex, and while there are people who can orgasm from anal sex only, most people will require additional genital stimulation to get off.

Anal Play For Guys

For men, anal orgasms typically are achieved through prostate massage or stimulation. Ladies, that entails you giving him the finger while blowing him. If you don’t feel comfortable with that for safety or other reasons, you can use sex toys specifically designed for that.

Ladies, be gentle. Some men may be tough, some men may like it rough, but nobody likes a finger (or toy) jammed up their bum without some warning first. Everyone loves surprises, unless it’s a finger up the butt. So people, please, talk about this before hand. Use ample amounts of communication and lube before you put your finger up there.

Anal Play For Girls

If you want your girl to have an anal orgasm, try slipping your finger in her anus while giving her oral sex. Sneak it in – sort of. You don’t want to sneak it in, literally, but you need to gradually introduce it while giving oral sex, especially if it’s the first time you’ve done it in the relationship. You can’t just ram a finger in there and expect the magic to happen. This isn’t porn. Or Vegas. This is real sex in real life.

A great technique for anal stimulation for women is placing one finger in the vagina and one finger in the anus, and you manually stimulate her that way.

Getting Off On Anal Sex Only

How do you get that point where you get off on anal by itself? Well, you’ll need to start with equal parts anal and genital stimulation in the beginning, and gradually decrease the genital stimulation while increasing the anal stimulation. By this point, your partner will (hopefully) be very used to getting off this way, and then they will have a postive mental pattern associated with anal play. This is super important.

Why? Because despite what porn or sex tips magazines may have you believe, sex begins and ends in the mind. If you think it’s impossible or difficult to have an anal orgasm, you’re right. But if getting off solely by anal play is a common, regular, every day occurrence in your world, guess what? You’re right too. That’s why it’s super important to create that positive mental connection first.

Other Things To Keep In Mind

What else can you do to create anal orgasm? Eat lots of fiber, so you can clean your pipes on a regular basis. Who wants to talk about this? Nobody. Despite the fact that Oprah did an entire episode on poo, the subject still leaves a nasty taste in people’s mouths. An enema is also a good option to keep things clean down there.

Also, do NOT forget to use lube and LOTS of it. There is no other option. Go slow. Rushing can cause discomfort, pain, or damage.

Using sex toys with big bases are critical so you don’t get anything lost up there. Plenty emergency rooms are filled people who lost toys up there. Yes, we are serious. No it wasn’t us. But trust us, this happens a lot. Friends don’t let friends lose anal toys in someone’s butt, so make sure you and anyone else you know is using the right ones.

Above all, don’t force anything. Forcing sex in any way is always bad, but with anal sex it’s super duper bad. Worst case scenario, someone gets injured or has to go to the hospital. Best case scenario if you force anal? Your partner feels used or angry or hurt. None of which are good and you might as well count yourself out of doing whatever you did ever, ever again. So talk about it first! Agree on everything first! Go slow, use a safe word, and again, lots of lube.

Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Get It Up

By isabellastone

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a term to describe a state of impotency.

Yikes.

But ED is actually very common, and often only temporary. Most guys out there will be able to remember one drunken night that they couldn’t quite make it happen. In fact anything from one too many hamburgers, to ill health, to how stressed you’re feeling about your job can have an effect on your ability to get it up.

Here are some of the most common reasons why ED may happen to you:

1. Reduced Blood Flow To The Penis

Hands down the most common cause of ED in over 40s is that not enough blood is flowing to your penis to make it hard. This is caused by a narrowing of the arteries which is a natural part of getting older. However, you may want to eliminate the environmental factors that can make it worse.

2. Smoking And Poor Diet

Yep these are the two things you think of straight away as a cause of bad health and poor circulation. Smoking and high cholesterol foods (that would be your favourite pizza) constrict and clog the arteries respectively. The result? Crappy erections. The penis is no different to any other area of your body. For your penis to be fit, you have to be fit too.

3. Lack Of Exercise

Remember sex is a cardiovascular activity, which puts it in the same bracket as running! So if you think you’d collapse after two minutes on the treadmill, the chances of you getting a high quality erection are slim. The more physically fit you are, the more efficiently your heart pumps blood, the stronger your erections will be.

There are other physical causes of ED: like Multiple Sclerosis, cycling, and a lack of testosterone.

This is rarer though than psychological factors like stress: which are in fact the most common cause of ED.

4. Stress

Yep that same feeling of ‘headache’ caused by your boss setting you an unreasonable deadline, or worrying about your parents’ ill health, can be the same psychological burden that stops you from performing. ED that sets on suddenly is usually due to stress. So if you’re having a tough time personally, as well as professionally; often fixing what’s going on in the work place will help fix what’s not happening in the bedroom.

5. Anxiety

Erectile dysfunction pretty much sums up the saying ‘negative cycle.’ If you have ED once then it can quickly become a repeat offender: because not having the erections you want is stressful. Best way forward is to take the pressure off. Enjoy non-penetrative activities with your partner, don’t focus on your erection and you can break the cycle.

So while the bad news is that ED is pretty common, particularly as you age; it is also often temporary. Making sure you have good health, a happy head and positive relationships will do a lot to counterbalance the most common causes of ED.

Do Aphrodisiacs Really Work?

By loveandsex

Aphrodisiac products have quite the reputation – for both working and not working. Many people swear by them to get their libido going, while others have tried hundreds that haven’t worked for them. So what’s the real deal about aphrodisiac stuff? Is it worth it?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z4QRfNOeCU&feature=plcp&context=C3d0528cUDOEgsToPDskISqcHkt_h0YDOFnjdgR32b]

What Is An Aphrodisiac?

Aphrodisiacs are foods, scents or herbs that claim to have the ability to make a man or woman more aroused. The idea behind this is that someone can eat, smell or consume certain things and their sex drive will increase – as in, they’ll suddenly start thinking about sex and nothing but sex. Many aphrodisiacs claim not only to boost sex drive, but also to make it feel better and produce faster, harder and more pleasurable orgasms.

Some foods that can be considered aphrodisiacs are avocados and oysters, while the smell of pumpkin pie or lavender is said to be a huge aphrodisiac for men. Yohimbe bark and horny goat weed are some of the popular aphrodisiac herbs and are found in many sexual supplements.

The Placebo Effect

This is where things get really hairy, because it’s actually impossible to tell if many aphrodisiacs really work or if what is really happening is the placebo effect.

What Is The Placebo Effect?

Studies have shown that in some cases, a placebo medication will work just as well as the actual medication. What happens here is if the person is convinced they’re taking something that will be effective, it will be, simply because the brain is a powerful enough tool that it can control the body.

So basically, the placebo effect plays a significant role in assessing whether aphrodisiacs are effective or not, because if someone really believes that aphrodisiacs work, they’ll most likely get positive results whether the actual product did the trick or the person’s mind did.

Is An Aphrodisiac Really Effective?

The answer to this question is a big, resounding “Maybe!” It’s impossible to tell which aphrodisiacs are truly effective on the body and which ones aren’t due to the placebo effect. Some aphrodisiacs will increase blood flow (which in turn, increases blood flow to the vagina or penis), so people who use them may notice real, tangible effects on their bodies.

The most fun thing about trying different aphrodisiacs is trying them! Experimenting with different foods, scents and herbs that have the potential to light your sex life on fire is fun in and of itself and may just spice up your sexy time without the help of the actual products. When you play with aphrodisiacs, you’re likely going to find some that are effective and some that aren’t – and that’s the way it goes.

How To Try Them

If you really want to start “testing” out aphrodisiacs, you’ll want to follow a few simple suggestions.

Don’t try more than one at a time. If you’re testing them and one or more of them work, you won’t be able to isolate which one it was.
Consider keeping notes about which ones are effective and which ones are not. If you’ve only tried a few of them, it may be easy enough to remember that avocados don’t do much for you but the scent of lavender really does. If you’re trying a bunch, keeping notes can help you remember which ones to try next and which ones to avoid.
Keep track of which aphrodisiacs are for men and which are for women. For example, lavender and pumpkin pie smells don’t do much for the ladies, but are said to really rev a guy’s libido up. If you’re using something that is “aimed” towards women and you’re a guy, it’s probably not going to be very effective unless the placebo effect is super powerful.
Be VERY aware of what you’re consuming. Do not consume products that have not been verified as safe, and if you have any health issues such as heart problems, diabetes or other issues, discuss with your doctor what is okay for you to take and what isn’t.

Does It Really Matter, Anyways?

Think about it this way – does it really matter if an aphrodisiac works because it actually is effective or whether it was the placebo effect? Because at the end of the day, you’re turned on, whether it was the product or your brain that did it.

So make a point to have fun with aphrodisiacs and don’t stress too much about whether they work or not. Focus on relaxing, having a good time and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to perform – because that will backfire and you will likely not be having sex at all that night.