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The A-Spot: What Is It And How To Find It

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An orgasm can occur a variety of ways, each providing different sensations from the other. You can give an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris or the G-spot. But have you heard about the A-spot? What is it, how do you find it and what do you do to give your girl an orgasm with it? Here’s the down low on the A-spot and how you can stimulate it to give your sex life a fresh new twist.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R5VWqzIhx4[/youtube]

What Is The A-Spot?

The A-spot is scientifically known as the “anterior fornix erogenous zone” but has also been called the AFE zone, AFE, A-spot, epicenter, deep spot or second G-spot when referring to it. The A-spot is an erogenous area inside the vagina that when touched firmly can lead to possible squirting, extra lubrication and intense arousal. This can sometimes happen even when there has been no other sexual stimulation at all. When the A-spot is continually stimulated, a woman can experience an incredibly intense, squirting orgasm.

Where Is It Located?

The A-spot is located behind the G-spot, right in front of the woman’s cervix. If you imagine that the G-spot is about two inches inside the vagina on the top wall, the A-spot is simply just a little further than that. It too is on the top wall of the vagina, but to stimulate it, you definitely need to go really, really deep. It may feel very rough or textured, and you’ll be able to tell once you’ve found it based on your partner’s level of pleasure at the time.

Once you reach the right area, she may have an instant orgasm, or she may just let you know that it feels really, really good. Communicate with your partner about what hurts and what doesn’t, because this technique can cause pain if not done properly or your partner doesn’t let you know what feels good and what hurts.

What Does It Do?

The A-spot is designed to re-direct vaginal fluids (these can be considered ejaculatory fluids) that are produced during a G-spot orgasm into vaginal lubrication. For this reason, when stimulating the A-spot, the vagina will lubricate quickly and a lot of the time, excessively. Some women report that an A-spot orgasm is much more intense than a G-spot orgasm, while other women report that they don’t feel that different at all.

How To Stimulate The A-Spot

Stimulating the A-spot isn’t that much different from doing so with the G-spot. Since they’re both located on the top wall of the vagina, you’re going to insert your fingers (one or two, depending on what your lady likes during fingering) palm side up. Curl your fingers up slightly, in a “come hither” motion.

Doing so will cause the tips of your fingers to press and rub against the A-spot. You can use the G-spot as a sort of “landmark” – if you know where it is, you can think about just going a little further. If you don’t know where it is, don’t try the A-spot technique because it’s more advanced. Start with learning more about the G-spot and how to stimulate it first.

Using Sex Toys

You can also use sex toys to stimulate the A-spot, if you have trouble doing so with your fingers. Many of the vibrators and dildos that are specifically made for G-spot stimulation can also work well for the A-spot. In fact, many sex toys that are designed for this are actually better than using your fingers, because they’re longer and many of them are designed with a special bend in the neck of the toy to reach the intended area. However, you’ll probably want to find the A-spot with your fingers first, before using sex toys, so you know where it is and where you want to put the toy.

Communication And A Safe Word

Communicating with your partner about how this technique feels and whether it hurts or not is extremely important for this to work, especially considering how deep you’re going. You can easily cause pain! Make sure your partner knows that she needs to be honest with you about how she’s feeling, and encourage her to use a safe word if it hurts and she’d like the activity to stop. She can say “stop,” unless that doesn’t really mean “stop.” A safe word is better because you’ll both know exactly what she means (that she’s in pain) and that she for sure wants to stop.

Your Guide On How To Choose The Right Sex Toys

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Choosing sex toys takes definitely takes some thought – very rarely do couples buy sex toys on impulse. There are things to look for when you’re making a purchase, depending on what you like or don’t like. Here’s the best way to figure out what sex toys you want to buy and what aspects are more important in a sex toy than others.

What Not To Shop For

There are lots of things that you want in a sex toy, but it’s unlikely that you’ll find the perfect made-just-for-you toy that meets every one of your requirements. That said, it’s essential that you think about what’s important in your item and what isn’t as crucial. Here are some examples of things you don’t necessarily want to narrow down your search:

Color

While you want your vibrator or dildo to be pretty, shopping for one based on what color it is alone is a great way to get a sex toy that you hate or can’t use. Certain sex toys come in certain colors, and if you’re only looking for clear or red (or whatever your chosen color is), you’re going to be limited in what you can get in that particular color. Instead, focus on a more important aspect – such as function or size – when shopping.

Brand

There are great brands out there, but not all the items produced by one brand are great. You may get a really fun, awesome dildo and swear up and down that you will only buy that brand ever again. The next thing you buy – such as a cock ring for example – may be a complete dud. Then again, it may not be.

However, by limiting yourself to one brand of sex toys only, you might miss something really great that has been that special item you’ve been looking for. Keep your mind open and look for items that meet other criteria, such as being easy to use or super discreet.

Price

Of course, most people shopping for sex toys need to stay within a budget. There are couples out there that can splurge on the $300 vibrator, but most people have an idea of what price range they need to be looking in. However, when you’re shopping strictly by price, you may run into trouble. Cheap sex toys aren’t always the best and the best ones aren’t always cheap. Then again, there are lots of inexpensive items that give a great orgasm – so price really isn’t a factor at all.

If you don’t have very much to spend, consider saving up for a little while longer so that you can have a broader range of items to pick from. If you’ve only got $20 to spend and are looking for stuff in that price range only, you may miss the awesome $21.95 toy that is everything you’ve wanted in a sex toy and more! Having a little bit more to spend when you start shopping allows you to check out a lot more items – whether you buy one that is at the bottom of your price range or the top.

What To Shop For

There are lots of things that are important when considering what types of items to look for, but some are much more significant than others. For example, size is pretty important – you don’t want to get something that is too small or too big for you. Here are some examples of things that may make or break your decision:

Size (Length & Width)

Size is probably one of the most important factors to consider when shopping for a vibrator or dildo. Think about what size you need – based on your previous sex toys and other partners’ penis size. Are you only able to accommodate a small vibrator, or do you need something that is a bit longer to reach your g-spot?

Take into account what size you are, and what size feels good to you. Purchase something that meets the basic length and width requirements and doesn’t go over or under them a lot. Your heart may be set on a pretty pink penis, but if it’s two inches too short, you’re going to be sorry.

Function

Need a vibrator that will massage your clitoris? You might not want to buy one that is designed for g-spot stimulation and vice versa. Before you buy, think about what exactly you’re wanting your new toy to do. Do you want something that will stimulate both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time? Take a look at a Rabbit vibrator or something similar. Are you a virgin and need something that doesn’t require penetration? Think about vibrating bullets.

Don’t go shopping for sex toys without thinking about what function you want it to have first – that’s how you get stuck with something that you don’t want!

Ease Of Use

You probably don’t want a vibrator that has a thousand different buttons and requires an astrophysicist’s degree to figure out. Sometimes, a vibrator with a simple on/off function works great, so don’t assume the more buttons and gadgets it has the better. Pick something that you know will be easy to use, especially when you’re in the throes of passion alone or with your partner.

Level Of Discretion

Some couples really need their sex toys to be discreet. If that’s the case, look for a small bullet vibe or travel vibrator – something small that can be easily hidden or taken with you in a purse, pocket or suitcase. People who need a certain level of discretion may want to stay away from purchasing traditional dildos, since most of them tend to be larger and penis shaped.

Regardless of what sex toys you use, make sure that they meet your needs and wants before making the purchase. If you don’t, you’ll end up spending a lot of money on something that isn’t very good or is simply “okay.” Once you find the right item, make it even more pleasurable and comfortable by using a lot of good, water based lubricant. Take care of it and make it last longer by cleaning it after each use, either with a special toy cleaner or hot, soapy water.

How To Have Great Sex Without Penetration

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Sex isn’t all about penetration. It’s a common misconception that you have to actually have intercourse to have awesome sex, but the truth is, you can actually have wonderful physical intimacy with your partner while not bumping uglies at all! There is so much more to doing it than just “penis-in-the-vagina” – in fact, there are so many more enjoyable ways to experience your partner sexually while avoiding intercourse! Here’s how.

Why Couples Would Want To Skip Traditional Intercourse

You might be wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to skip out on the sex part of sex. There are, however, lots of couples who either can’t or don’t want to have traditional intercourse with each other for various reasons. Some couples may want to avoid unwanted pregnancy by not engaging in penetration (if they’re not using condoms or birth control) and other couples may be avoiding penetration for religious, spiritual or moral reasons.

After childbirth, women are often cautioned not to have sex for six weeks afterwards, leaving them at a loss on how to please their partners when sex is not an option. Other couples may not be a great fit physically down there and will get more enjoyment out of foreplay than actual intercourse.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is a great way to give your partner an amazing orgasm with no intercourse. Most people feel like oral sex is for foreplay only, but why not make it the main event? It is that great, after all! Take turns pleasuring your lover with your tongue and letting them do the same for you, or try the sixty-nine position and give each other simultaneous oral sex. You may not think it’s possible to feel completely satisfied after having only oral sex with your partner and forgoing intercourse, but the truth is, you might even have a better and more satisfying orgasm this way than through intercourse alone. Your partner will too!

Masturbation

If oral sex isn’t your thing or you’re just not ready to go there with your partner yet, think about masturbation. Not the flying solo kind, but the masturbating your partner with your hands kind. This is better known as fingering (if they’re a girl) and giving a handjob (if they’re a guy). Lots of people avoid this type of stimulation when they’re getting it on with their lovers because they feel like that manual stimulation is actually boring – especially since this is the kind of stimulation you get all the time when you masturbate alone.

However, you can give your partner amazing orgasms through manual stimulation! All it takes is time, a little hard work and lots and lots of great lube. Most people who don’t enjoy getting a handjob from their partner have forgotten that crucial component – lots of lube!

Sex Toys

If you’re not going to have intercourse with your partner, why not bring in some fun sex toys to play with instead? If she can handle penetration but just not with a penis (for example, if she’s trying not to get pregnant), try using a dildo or a vibrator. If penetration of any kind is out of the question, a clitoris vibrator can definitely come into play. This is a great way to give a woman an orgasm when avoiding intercourse, especially if oral sex or fingering isn’t your thing. Instead of letting her take care of herself with the vibrator (which a lot of guys do when they can’t do it with their ladies), take care of it for her and get off on her pleasure.

For the men, sex toys can also be beneficial when you can’t or don’t want to do it the traditional way. Male masturbators (also known as masturbation sleeves) can make giving him a handjob a lot easier, especially when you use plenty of lube. In fact, it will probably feel better for him too!

Kissing

If you’re avoiding sexual activity all together for whatever reason, don’t forget that you can stay physically intimate and close to your partner through kissing. Don’t just assume that the quick kiss you gave your lover before work will suffice – if you’re not having sex, take some time to have a really great and satisfying make out session with your partner.

Kiss your lover deeply and slowly, with no regard to how much time you have or what is going to come next. Simply enjoy the kissing experience for what it is and encourage your partner to do the same. When done right, kissing can be an extremely satisfying way to stay physically connected to your lover when you can’t get it on!

Can Lube Cause Yeast Infections?

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Lube does a lot of things, including relieving vaginal dryness and making sex more comfortable and pleasurable for both partners. Lube is recommended for almost every sexual activity, especially during vaginal penetration and anal sex. But are there any downsides to using lube during sex? Can using lube cause vaginal discomfort or yeast infections?

What Is A Yeast Infection?

A yeast infection is simply when the pH of the vagina has been thrown off – and this can happen any number of ways.

  • Sex. Sexual partners can actually pass yeast infections to one another during intercourse.
  • Getting sick. If your immune system is lowered, you can be more susceptible to the overgrowth of yeast in the vagina.
  • Stress. Stress lowers the immune system and women with chronic problems are often found to be exposed to constant stress.
  • Hormones, pregnancy and birth control. If the hormones in the body aren’t balanced properly, a yeast overgrowth can occur.
  • Antibiotics. They change the pH of the vagina too, eliminating all the natural bacteria that are found in the vagina (the ones that consume excess yeast).

There are also a number of things that can help a yeast infection form, or make it much worse once it has started.

  • Tight clothing
  • Polyester or synthetic fabrics that do not allow good ventilation
  • Lots of sex in a short period of time
  • Wiping from back to front
  • Sweating, especially in hot or muggy weather
  • Douching

Is Lube A Culprit?

Some brands do contain glycerin – in fact, quite a few of them do. Glycerine is a sugar based product, which can affect the growth of yeast in the vagina. Things with high sugar content that are inserted into or near the vagina can cause an infection – which is why you always see a disclaimer when reading about having sex with chocolate or candies. Lube can certainly make a previous infection worse, and in extremely sensitive individuals, using it may bring an infection on.

However, since there are so many different factors that can cause or contribute to the overgrowth of yeast in the vagina, it is much more likely that lube isn’t the only cause of a yeast infection (although it is possible). It is formulated specifically for the vagina and is designed to mimic natural lubrication as closely as possible. It is likely that the pH balance in the vagina was off to begin with and lube tipped the scales towards an infection, causing symptoms of vaginal discomfort, burning or itching.

Some brands of lube may cause more vaginal discomfort than others. For example, warming lubes that are designed to heat up have been known to cause intense sensations, sometimes to the point of pain and discomfort in women that are very sensitive. You may have had a reaction to a new lubricant without actually having a yeast infection.

How To Buy The Right Kind Of Lube

If you’re very sensitive to yeast infections and get them frequently, look for some that is made without glycerin. Astroglide makes a glycerin and paraben free formula, which is great for women with sensitive genitals. Parabens are also chemicals that can cause an uncomfortable reaction in some women, so consider purchasing a lube that is both glycerin and paraben free.

Do not use things that you get from home – that means no vegetable oils, olive oils, lotions or anything that isn’t made to be put inside the vagina. These kinds of oils (even baby oil) can clog the pores on the inside of the vaginal walls and make the environment a great host for all kinds of unwanted yeast and bacteria. Spare yourself the trouble and spend a few bucks on a great bottle of lubricant, available anywhere from sex toy stores to your local supermarket. You’ll thank yourself for it later.

Seeing The Doctor

If it seems like you’re doing everything right and you’re still having vaginal discomfort or yeast infection symptoms, even after using over the counter remedies, it may be time to make an appointment with your doctor. You could have an STD – or just a really nasty bacterial infection that requires the use of antibiotics to get rid of.

If you’re to embarrassed to see your doctor about a possible vaginal infection, find a doctor that you are comfortable seeing. Honestly, your doctor has seen just about everything from anal sex injuries to STD’s to really strange stuff that you probably don’t want to hear about. That’s what your doctor is there for – to talk to and to find solutions to keep your body healthy.

Will I Become Dependent On My Vibrator?

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Sex toys for women are among the most popular out there – especially when it comes to a vibrator. Many women use sex toys during masturbation and even during sex with their partners to enhance pleasurable sensations and give more orgasms. But will a woman get used to the vibrations and come to rely on them instead of being able to have an orgasm just with her hand or her partner’s touch?

Is it true that women who use vibrators for clitoral orgasm could become desensitized to getting it with their own hand or partners’ touch? I heard Dr.Drew say it on Love Line KROQ and it made me never want to buy a vibrator because I don’t want to risk my body being depended on it. Please, please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHLMcmLnJgA[/youtube]

What A Vibrator Does

A vibrator is a powerful way to achieve orgasm quickly and easily without having to do a lot of work to get there. Lots of women enjoy using vibrators during masturbation because the orgasms are great and it can be done quickly, without a lot of mess.

However, after using a vibrator for a long period of time (say several weeks or more), some women have reported being unable to reach orgasm without one and others reported that they could reach orgasm without a vibrator, but it was very difficult to do so. Does this mean that they are “addicted” to their vibrators and can’t reach climax without one?

Learning How To Orgasm

A vibrator is very intense – consider it a “power tool” that will help get the job done quickly and easily. This means that reaching orgasm without a vibrator should take longer than it does when you do use one. The problem here is not the sex toys – it’s that a lot of women haven’t learned how to have an orgasm without the aid of their “power tool” and automatically assume that they can’t, without taking the time or effort to really figure out how.

Instead of wondering why you’re not able to reach orgasm with your hands in the same amount of time it takes to do so with your vibrator, slow down and enjoy the masturbation process. The same goes if you’re with your lover and he’s performing oral sex on you or fingering you. It’s not going to go as fast as it does with your “power tools” and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

If It’s Causing A Problem

If you’re really struggling to reach climax with your lover or with your hands (without the aid of a vibrator) and you’ve given yourself plenty of extra time to actually get to the big “O”, you may want to consider trying to wean yourself off the power tools all together.

Try incorporating your solo sex toys into your sexual routine with your partner. Remember, sex toys aren’t just for masturbation alone – you can use them in addition to different sex positions, oral sex and manual stimulation to spice up your sex life. Doing this will help teach your brain that you can experience sexual pleasure with your partner as well, not just with a vibrator. This is because when you get used to doing something just one way (such as masturbating and reaching orgasm with a power tool only), the brain gets used to doing it only that way and will have a more difficult time adapting to doing it another way.

Other Things That Impact The Ability To Orgasm

If you’re having a difficult time reaching climax without the use of a vibrator, it may not be your sex toys‘ fault at all. In fact, there are many things that may cause a woman to become unable to climax for a short period of time. For example, you may be stressed, tired or sick. Also, some people don’t realize the fact that as men and women get older, they’re not as sensitive to sexual stimulation anymore.

If you used to be able to have an orgasm by just using your hand during masturbation when you were younger but you can’t orgasm without a vibrator now, it may be solely due to the changes your body has gone through as you’ve gotten older. Situations like that are actually a perfect time to introduce a vibrator into the mix because the body just isn’t as responsive as it once was. The most important thing with sex and masturbation is to find a balance and do what works for you!