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You are here: Home / Archives for sex

8 Basic Strokes For Erotic Massage Down South

By loveandsex

Erotic massage doesn’t have to be limited to her back. Instead, make your way to her vulva and massage her down there to get her totally aroused!

Here, you assume the role of a giver. For best results, place a pillow or two under her buttocks. Position yourself beside her or between her legs, in such a way that you have maximum access to her vulva.

These strokes deal largely with the Labia majora, and to the giver, it may seem there’s not much difference among strokes – but to your lady, whose eyes are closed, fully intent on savoring every minute, the trivial variations become different adventures. You’ll be amazed at how simple modifications alter her experience significantly.

You will also notice that none of the strokes intend to penetrate the vagina.

1. “Hello” Technique

Always start with this one. It’s not really a stroke as it is a way to get things rolling. Position your hand like a panty covering her vulva and cup your palm to her shape. Do not move your hand. Not yet. Feel the heat emanating from her. Add eye contact for better results.

“Hello” has a two-fold purpose. One, it’s a getting-to-know-you time. You gain familiarity of her curves & musculature, her soft and fat parts. Molding your palm on her equipment affords you prudence later in the erotic massage. Two, it’s a comfort building technique in that it introduces your hand to her thing. Remember that you’re about to man-handle what women consider as their core, the innermost sanctum of their being.

2. Palm Circulars

Maintaining the “HELLO” position, move your palm in circular motions. Think: Karate Kid “Wax On, Wax Off” motions. Easy, isn’t it?

Here are a few things to consider:

  • You may go Clockwise or Counterclockwise. (She may prefer one over the other)
  • Palm circulars go at different intensities. The soft variety is when your palm merely hovers around her vulva, the hard version is when you grab the fleshy parts and move it in circles.
  • Regarding speed, start the erotic massage slow. Most women prefer RHYTHM over jerky movements, so let your circles flow.

3. Palm or Thumb Glide

Spread your lady’s legs and see how the slit divides her vulva into a left and a right side. Place your palms on her labia majora. If they’re too big, use your thumb or any of the fingers instead. They have the advantage of inducing more focused strokes.

If in the previous technique you were concerned with circular movements, the Palm Glide is all about UP and DOWN movements. (Glide UP even as high as her belly area, and DOWN, near the anus.)

4. Spread & Squeeze

This time, it’s TO THE SIDES.

The Spread & Squeeze part of the erotic massage teases the vulva to open up. You may use your palm, thumb, or any of the fingers for this. Slowly spread the vulva by stroking to the sides, away from the central slit. Stroke to the sides, (not too far or she’ll feel vulnerable and self-conscious.)

For the Squeeze, go the opposite direction by slowly gliding towards the central slit. Let the two inward strokes meet at the center as if mending a torn dress. Join the two sides of her majora.

Now, with your thumb and forefinger, pinch and hold,  then release. The ladies would appreciate a gentle pulling or tugging at this point.

5. Thumb Circulars

This is one of those erotic massage strokes that really get women going. Using the flat of your thumb, employ circular strokes while gliding UP & DOWN her Labia majora. The combination of 2 movements results into spiral strokes on her vulva. Nice!

Vary the size and direction of the circles you make.

6. Finger Walk

Use the flat of your fingers to walk around the vulval zone. Point to an area and then PRESS… and RELEASE. Then repeat. You’re not just brushing or tapping but generating pressure. Imagine you’re playing the piano and you’re masterfully pressing her keys.

A variation is the Finger Moonwalk. Do the press, but before releasing, add a slide element to it. Slide your fingers back towards the wrist, continuing the pressure as you do. Your fingers make possible different variations, experiment and do random press and slides. The multipoint stimulation would make her purr like a cat.

7. Pinch & Slide

This one’s not recommended for sensitive vulvas.

The fleshy areas or those skin folds are homes to the Pinch & Slide. Assuming you’ve employed ample lubrication, pinch an area using your thumb and pointer finger. Hold for a second. That’s the ‘pinch’ part. The ‘slide’ happens when you do a little bit of pulling. As you pull, let the patch of skin or flesh slowly slip from your grasp and pop to freedom.

After releasing, target another area and repeat.

8. The Labial Tug

Her Labia minoras will always be screaming for action during an erotic massage like this.

Using your thumb and pointer finger, tug on her minoras. Not too much but with enough force so she can feel the pull on her clitoris. Tug at different directions and find out what angles work for her. Release by letting it snap off your grasp.

TUG, then RELEASE. Repeat as desired.

After acing the massage, look at your woman and notice how horny she already is. Give yourself a mental pat on the back and proceed to Phase 3 – stimulating the clit itself.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, erotic massage, female orgasm, foreplay, orgasm, sex, sex tips

How To Talk To Her About Masturbation

By loveandsex

Masturbation can greatly improve your sex life, especially if she masturbates. It will be much easier for her to orgasm and the overall quality of sex for both you and your partner will increase dramatically. However, not all women masturbate. This can be due to a number of reasons, but if you want to broach this subject with your girl, you’re going to have to talk about it. Here’s how to talk to her about it comfortably, without letting things get weird.

Why You Want Her To Masturbate

Female masturbation is so important is because it helps women learn what feels good to their bodies. When women can experiment in privacy and can learn their bodies better, they become more responsive lovers who can guide you in your quest to bringing them greater sexual satisfaction.

The problem is that a large percentage of women who have masturbated are ashamed or embarrassed to admit they do it. While society pretty much accepts male masturbation, it still views female masturbation as somewhat taboo. Plus, women today were probably raised in households where such things were simply not discussed. Many adult women are shocked when they finally discover that their mothers were also masturbating all that time.

Knowing this is important because you may face difficulty when it comes to talking about masturbating with your partner. Now, of course, some women have no problems broaching the subject. Others, however, are more timid. To be successful, you’ll have to feel your way through the conversation.

Sample Conversation About Masturbation

This sample conversation should give you some idea of how to begin the discussion and how to steer it in the right direction. Of course, the conversation might not go exactly like this and your lover may have different responses than the one here. However, this sample can at least give you the gist of where to take the conversation.

Also, keep in mind that while not all sex conversations should take place in the bedroom, this one may be a good one to have on the bed while both of you are feeling a little amorous. That way it will make what comes next a little easier.

You: “Can I ask you something, baby?”

Her: “What?”

You: “Do you ever get yourself off?”

Her: “What do you mean?”

You: “You know, do you ever masturbate?”

Her: “I’m not going to tell you that.”

You: (keeping the conversation light and playful): “Come on, why not?”

Her: “It’s private.”

You: “I masturbate. Sometimes when I see how hot you look I, get so turned on that I can’t help myself. Don’t you ever feel that way?”

Her: “I’m not going to tell you.”

You: “I think it would be really hot to watch you get yourself off.”

Her: “Really?”

You: “Absolutely! But since you don’t do that . . . “

Her: “Maybe I’ve done it a couple of times.”

You: “Does it feel good?”

Her: “Not as good as being with you.”

You: “Maybe you could show me how good it feels.”

Her: “You want me to masturbate in front of you?”

You: “I think it would be really sexy.”

At this point, your partner may or may not agree. If she does agree, sit back and watch quietly. Don’t try to get involved or to offer words of encouragement. Pay attention to how she pleases herself. For example, does she use a toy or her hand? This can be very useful information for you because if you want to provide added stimulation during intercourse then you can use whichever method she normally prefers.

What If She Doesn’t Want To?

Of course, there’s a good chance that your partner may not be eager to pleasure herself in front of you. If that’s the case, you can always offer a compromise. Instead of you watching from inside the bedroom, ask her if you can tape her masturbating. You’d be somewhere else in the house or gone completely, but the videotape or DVD would record her masturbating in private. You’d be able to see her in action without her feeling as if she’s invading your privacy.

If she doesn’t go along with that idea, then you may need to drop the subject for a little while. That doesn’t mean you can’t go ahead and start experimenting with methods of clitoral stimulation. You may also have a partner who has honestly never masturbated. In that case, she may not be able to give you much feedback about what feels good to her because she probably won’t know. That’s not a bad thing; it just means you’ll be doing a lot of trial and error.

It also means that you’re going to need good communication so when you do hit upon something that sends pleasure racing through her body she lets you know.

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: better sex, female masturbation, female orgasm, masturbation, orgasm, sex, sex tips

5 Sex Tips From Couples Who Do It All The Time

By loveandsex

Sex doesn’t have to get boring when you’re in a relationship. Here’s how couples who do it all the time keep sex fresh AND hot!

Having sex a lot during a long-term relationship can be a sign that you’re doing something right. However if the sex has suddenly stopped working as been on the decline for a little while it’s hard not to wonder what happened. Couples around the country judge their relationship based on how many times they have sex in a week.

While a lot of sex could be sign of a healthy relationship, there could still be problems. Having a relationship that is solely based on sex is never healthy. If you would like to have a healthy relationship with your wife or husband, as well as have more sex, there are a few key ingredients to making this work. Here are five tips from couples who do it all the time.

1. Open Communication About Sex

One of the hardest things to deal with as a partner who will not express what is making them angry, sad or discontent with the relationship. If you’re wondering why the sex in your relationship has suddenly stopped one of the easiest ways to find out is to simply ask if your partner is feeling reservations about what the two of you have together.

Open communication is extremely important so that nothing is bottled up. Keeping things from your partner is never a good idea and will only prolong the unhappiness that you are feeling. Talk to your partner and get the lines of communication open before you start to have major problems. That way when problems do start to occur you will feel comfortable talking about them openly and honestly.

2. Be Honest

There are a lot of instances were partners will lie to each other in order to detect their feelings. While this is harmless for if your wife or husband asks you whether or not you like something that the wearing, this can evolve into a big problem when they start asking about things that affect the relationship.

No matter how bad or good things are, you should always be honest about a situation. If you don’t like the way that something is, be honest about it with your partner and yourself. You’re never going to have a great relationship or a great sex life until you are honest with yourself and your partner. It doesn’t matter if the sex is great, good or horrible, you cannot improve anything until you address the fact that there is a problem.

3. Admit Your Mistakes

There are too many instances of partners who are too proud to admit that they made a mistake. Have the guts to admit when you have screwed up and you will see that your partner not appreciates this, but will also forgive you much more easily. Having pride can ruin a relationship from the very start. Most couples only need to meet each other halfway to see an amicable end to a problem.

Keep this in mind when you are judging whether or not you are having enough sex the relationship. Your partner might resent something that you did. If you simply apologize for it, you will start to see a vast improvement in communication, trust and other issues that affecting the sex life in your relationship.

4. Quality Time

Quality time is a big one. Whether you are doing something that the both of you love, something that your partner loves or something that you love, having quality time together is essential to building the relationship even more. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for two months or 20 years, no relationship can survive without quality time together.

Remember that quality time should be spent between the two of you equally. No partner should be getting more quality time doing what they love than the other partner. Doing something that you both love is great, however, compromise must be used when something comes up that one partner does not particularly like. Spending quality time together will bring you closer and create more intimacy, thus leading to a better sex life.

5. Reject Mainstream Expectations

It is very easy to get caught up in the hype that the entertainment industry has laid out over the last couple years. You turn on the television and see that your favorite TV character is having sex with their wife or girlfriend constantly. In order to have a healthy relationship you need to recognize that this is simply entertainment and that real couples do not have sex 3 to 4 times a day.

Talk with your partner so that you know how many times a week they would like to have sex versus how many times a week you would like to have sex. Make sure that you are not getting swept up in the media’s interpretation of a healthy sex life.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, sex, sex tips

How To Make A Woman Orgasm Fast

By lloydlester

An orgasm is sometimes hard to come by for a woman. But if you know what you’re doing, you can make her orgasm incredibly FAST! Here’s how!

Most guys are clueless when it comes to making sure their women are actually having orgasms during sex. Not only is the female anatomy a mystery to most men, but to compound the problem, many women actually fake orgasms in front of their male partners.

That is enough to drive most men into embarrassment. But you can ease your worries and make sure that she is having REAL orgasms every time you have sex and make them happen in a hurry too.

Nipple Adoration

Women love stimulation to their nipples – one of the most erogenous zones on their bodies. It can make a woman quiver in anticipation for more, especially when skilled stimulation can cause incredible sensations to shoot from her nipples right down to her clitoris. You’ve probably heard about women who have breast orgasms simply through intense arousal brought on by this type of stimulation.

So pay close attention to this part of her body. Pinch her nipples lightly. You can also use your teeth (very lightly of course!) when you take each bud into your mouth to send her temperatures soaring very quickly.

Clitoral Delight

The penis has two primary functions – for sex and urination. The clitoris has only ONE purpose – to give a woman an orgasm. So make sure you give her clitoris your attention during sex – but only after you have gotten her highly aroused with adequate foreplay (the above nipple stimulation move will help you greatly too!).

Start stimulating her two clitoral hoods at the sides with your thumb and index finger, before slowly moving in towards her clitoris and stimulating it with your finger or tongue in a circular motion. But don’t just stop there, though (the next tip will blow her into orgasmic heavens).

G-Spot Orgasm Bliss

Most men are unaware of this, but a woman’s G-spot is actually located very close to her vaginal opening. A well-stimulated G-spot can give a woman a vaginal orgasm that is infinitely more satisfying than a clitoral climax.

You should lubricate your fingers before locating this tender flesh that is about two inches into her vagina (near her pelvis) and making a “come here” motion using your index or middle finger. This will make her G-spot swell much bigger – a sign that she is extremely aroused and ready for the big “O”. Keep the stimulation constant until she grips the sheets in utter delight.

These 3 tantalizing moves pack a wallop when used together. Learn and practice them well until you have her reaching for the stars during sex!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, clitoris, female orgasm, g spot, orgasm, sex, sex tips

What To Talk About After Sex

By loveandsex

Sex is a wonderful thing, but afterwards can be a little awkward if you don’t know what to talk about. Here are some tips for after sex discussions.

Ok, semen’s out. Now what?

The world doesn’t end when you orgasm, there is a continuing, social, person-to-person interaction after intercourse. That intimacy bubble doesn’t burst when you ejaculate. This may not be evident in one-shot deals where you’ll probably never see each other again, but it becomes very obvious in long-term relationships.

What Is After Sex Talk?

Afterplay talk is very similar to boy-girl date conversation, the only difference is that you don’t talk crap just to get into her pants because you’ve been there and done her. It’s one of pure communication as the only motive is to bond with your partner – and have fun while at it. The ability to converse and temporarily forego sleep separates great lovers from men who roll over and go to sleep after barely slipping the condom off their shiny penises.

Being awake post-coitus is one of the marks of a guy who gets laid regularly, who doesn’t resort to typical begging. He knows that afterplay is the most important bridge to the next sack session. For one cannot keep ignoring a woman’s need for post-ejaculation companionship.

If you constantly make her feel she’s just good for the sex, over time, she’ll wise up and realize she has something you want – and if you don’t treat her any better, you’ll experience a shortage of it – a sort of what goes around comes around situation.

Do You Have To Talk After Sex?

Sure, there is no law compelling you to engage in afterplay conversations, you can always doze the night/afternoon away. But sooner or later, you’ll wake up, and soon, you’ll have boners and you’ll have the hots for her again. What I’m saying is that in terms of relationships, this is an investment worth your effort. I will not explain why this is, I hope you are insightful enough to realize that this matters to women and not to miss the fact that you have as much to gain.

What NOT To Discuss

Except for a few landmines, you can talk about virtually anything under the sun. Talk about your most intimate secrets for all I care, although simpler topics are better. Talk about the ingredients of your version of the World’s Perfect Sandwich. Anything!

Don’t turn it into a serious, drawn-out discussion, do it in the spirit of fun. Be unthreatening, playful, and don’t make a big deal out of it.

But no guy talk. Guys can yak away about their passions not knowing they’re slowly lullabying the woman to sleep. Conversations involving engines, radiators and hydraulics should be saved for your car mechanic on poker nights. Same thing goes for guns, the playoffs and RPGs. All she’ll really hear is “Blah blah, bablahblablah.” Imagine her talking about lip gloss, concealers and asking for your personal philosophy on make-up. How can you engage? You can listen to death, but all you’ll really hear is “Blah blah blah, bablah,blabla… and that’s why I need your credit card this Sunday.”

Veer off negative topics like death, accidents, failures and disappointments. Stay away from stuff that caused friction in the past (eg. bills, ex’s, in-laws, nagging). They’re anti-climactic. Why would you stop a great aura with a lousy remark about how you absolutely abhor her friends?

Spiral up, don’t start digging holes.

What You SHOULD Talk About

Talk to her vanity instead. Talk her up. Comment on her sexual prowess, make her feel so good about herself she’ll want to do you again and again. (This is one way of starting a sexual addiction.)

In addition to talking about simple, fun stuff, the couple can also discuss the SEX and further refine the experience. Unless you engage your lady in open, honest sexual conversation, she’ll try giving you an orgasm with the often frustrating trial and error method. Simply telling her what you want saves time and a whole lot of errors. She may not instantly become an expert, but she’ll get on with the program and improve steadily.

During the heat of passion, one doesn’t have the luxury to plug in a projector, use a laser pointer, and graphically illustrate the moves. So one simply howls, ‘to the left’ or ‘more! After sex, you actually have the luxury of gathering your thoughts, choosing your words and belting out a speech. It’s an opportunity to communicate clearly and precisely.

SO, TELL HER WHAT YOU WANT! (She’d appreciate it.)

Not being able to specifically pin down your desires is an entirely different thing. Honestly, have you ever spared a second to think about the kind of sex that you want? If not, then no wonder you can’t communicate them to a woman, and no wonder you’re not getting it from her!

Still, many don’t sound-off because of fear. It’s that timeless fear of rejection, the embarrassment of being said “NO” to, the sting of being laughed at and told, “You want that?! You sicko!” Add to that the anxiety of telling your woman that she actually sucks at a technique she prides herself in, like a blowjob.

These fears will always exist. And there’s eerie comfort in knowing that many guys experience them.

The most effective way of dealing with such is not by explaining them away or denying their existence, it’s by learning exactly what to do.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, orgasm, sex, sex tips

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