threesome – Page 6

Should I Act On My Threesome Fantasy?

If you’re interested in having a threesome with your friends, you might be a little intimidated about how to approach the situation. Even if you or your friends have hinted at it or joked about it before, it can seem a little awkward bringing up the topic seriously.

How can you approach that subject with your friends without risking anything?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 34 years old and have recently won a 3 yr battle with cancer. I have a new lease on life and want to live it to the fullest. I have an absolute best guy friend, “Rick”, who is dating my best friend “Abbie”. I have been thinking a lot lately about having a threesome with “Rick” and “Abbie”. I’m just not sure how to broach the subject with either of them. “Rick” and I have joked about it a few times before but I always brushed it aside… Now, how should I go about approaching the subject for real? I love them both, and I don’t want anyone hurt at all.

–Amanda, Kentucky

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-MFRWraxBQ[/youtube]

Your Friends Are Your Friends

First off, if your friends are really your friends, especially if they’ve joked about it before, they’re not going to hang you just for suggesting a threesome for real. You’re all adults and you can talk about the topic as adults.

Simply bring it up, possibly over a glass of wine or after a nice meal, and discuss the situation. Let them know that you’ve been running the idea through your head and it might something you want to try.

Be honest with them. In turn, you’ll find they’ll be honest with you. They might say it was something they were only joking about and they’re not comfortable trying that with you at this point.

That’s okay! Then again, they might say it’s something they’re open to experiencing. You won’t know until you talk to them about it.

When The Mood Is Right

Okay, so you don’t want to approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends over a quick breakfast before work, or when the kids are acting up. If you wait until the mood is right, however, you’ll most likely get the more honest response.

For example, your friends might really be into the idea, but if they’re rushed or otherwise occupied, they’re probably going to brush the idea off.

Approach your friends alone when everyone is at ease and laughing with each other. You’ll get a much better response that way!

Talking About The Details

Some of the most important things to discuss when you approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends is the what, who, when and where. Don’t be afraid to discuss details. For example, would you like to first try a threesome without sexual penetration at all? Will there be condoms involved? How will the subjects of STD’s and possible pregnancy be handled?

What makes you uncomfortable about having a threesome? What turns you on about it? Hashing out the details of the threesome before you actually have one will leave less awkwardness to be had afterwards.

Without talking about the details beforehand, you risk things becoming weird during the threesome if someone does something someone else isn’t comfortable with, and you also run the risk of having things become weird afterwards as well.

Talk about the threesome before with your friends, but also talk to them afterwards as well. Remember that everyone is an adult and that the threesome and things within the threesome can be discussed as adults. Even if the threesome didn’t go as planned, or it really wasn’t your cup of tea, it’s nothing to be ashamed about or embarrassed about.

Just talk to your friends and be honest with them. Similarly, if you really enjoyed the threesome, be sure to be honest with them about that as well! Talk to your friends about the possibility of another threesome. You’ll never know if you don’t approach the topic though!

Swinger Disaster – He Couldn’t Get It Up! Is All Lost?

By loveandsex

Swinging can be a fun and enjoyable way to expand your sexual relationship with your partner and spice up things in the bedroom.

Inexperienced swingers, however, may find that the first few times are a little nerve wracking, especially if it involves a group of people.

If you find yourself being nervous during a swinging session, you might need to back up a little bit until you get more comfortable.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My wife and I just experienced our first swinger encounter, I am a very lucky man in having a wife that is so open to this. She was great – I, however, was a little nervous – so nervous that I had a difficult time getting an erection (this has never happened before!). I don’t know if it was the fact that I was being watched by 15 people or what… Do you have any tips to help me over come this problem of not being able to step up to bat? Thank you.

–Adam, CO

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOidMP8THa4[/youtube]

Performance Anxiety

Some people get “performance anxiety.” This might happen when you’re alone with your partner, but it’s more likely to happen if you’re swinging with a couple or having a more voyeuristic adventure with more people.

You may find that you can’t get an erection or if you’re a woman, you may feel more shy and self conscious than before. It can be embarrassing, especially if you’re unable to get or maintain an erection, to have performance anxiety while swinging. What can you do?

Back Up A Little Bit

Stop and think about what might have made you uncomfortable while swinging. How did you feel? Were you nervous? Were you shy or self conscious? Were you wearing an outfit that was uncomfortable or you didn’t feel sexy in? Were there a number of people watching you swing?

Dig deep to find the culprit of your performance anxiety. There is a cause. Once you find it, you can begin to solve the problem so it doesn’t happen again. For example, if your swinging session involved more people than just the other couple you were swinging with, you can try swinging again with just one other person or perhaps just another couple.

If you were wearing an uncomfortable or unflattering outfit that made you feel self conscious or out of place, you can try swinging again while wearing something you feel really dynamite in. Don’t let one bout of performance anxiety turn you off from swinging forever.

Feeling Comfortable

For swinging to be successful, you need to feel comfortable. Knowing this beforehand allows you to ensure that you’re wearing something comfortable and you’re swinging with people you feel comfortable with, but too many couples find out too late that swinging requires a good deal of confidence and ease for it to turn out well.

If you’ve already had some performance anxiety or a bad swinging experience, take some time out to collect yourself and then try to get back in the groove. You can improve your body image by eating right and exercising if you’re feeling self conscious about yourself, or you can try to make swinger friends that you’re more comfortable with.

Talk with your partner about what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable so you can ensure your next swinging session will be more successful.

If you find that you have performance anxiety every time you swing, you might want to rethink the swinging aspect of your relationship. Swinging isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. If you find yourself uncomfortable and nervous every time, re-evaluate your need to swing and what is behind that.

You might be able to find something that enhances your relationship and your sex life that you’re a little more comfortable with than swinging.

Threesomes As An Alternative Approach to Marriage Therapy?

By paulcarlson

Many times, after about six or seven years of a relationship or marriage, the sex life tends to dwindle.

As time goes on, the sex life continues to dwindle and sex with your partner becomes routine.

Your interest in sex with your partner may lessen, but this doesn’t mean that you love your partner less or your relationship is doomed. It just means your relationship has progressed naturally!

Can having a threesome bring the spice back into your partnership?

You had mentioned the other day that some therapists actually recommend bringing

a third person into the bedroom to spice up your sex life. Please explain…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTCYsiVj6U0[/youtube]

Threesomes aren’t for everyone.

It’s true. Bringing another person or another couple into your sex lives can be fun and enjoyable and ramp up your sex lives. It’s also true that having a threesome or swinging isn’t for every couple. Only you and your partner can decide whether incorporating other people into your sex lives is the right choice for you. How do you know?

You and your partner are happy with each other in every other aspect of your relationship
You and your partner aren’t the jealous type
You are secure in your relationship with this person and have no self esteem issues
You and your partner have talked the situation over . . . and over, and over and over.

After talking to your partner about having a threesome or swinging, if you feel it’s the right decision, go for it! Work out who you think the third person or couple should be and talk to them. Go over what you feel is right and what you’re comfortable with and what actions are considered out of bounds. Then have fun!

Playing it safe.

When you’re in a monogamous relationship, you generally don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases. If you’ve been in a relationship for quite awhile, it can be difficult to remember safety when making the switch to incorporating sex with another person or couple.

If you are going to have sexual relations with another person, it’s important to take safety precautions so you can keep both you and your partner free of sexually transmitted diseases. Getting tested is the only sure way to make sure neither party has any STD’s but if that’s not an option; you can use other methods as well.

Use condoms when having oral sex or intercourse and use dental dams when performing oral sex on a woman. To be extra safe, you can even use latex gloves or finger cots if you plan to be using your hands at all.

Having a threesome or incorporating another couple into your sex life isn’t something everyone should do. It’s a decision that must be made carefully by all parties that will be involved. The most important thing you can do other than being safe is to talk to your partner and talk to everyone that is going to be involved.

Make sure everyone is comfortable with the situation and make sure the boundaries are clear and known by everyone. If you’re not comfortable having a threesome or swinging, it doesn’t mean your sex life is doomed forever. You can incorporate lots of other new things, such as sex toys or role-playing. Find out what turns you and your partner on and have at it, as long as no one is getting hurt (too much!)

Can Swinger Relationships REALLY Work?

By loveandsex

Nowadays, you hear so much about open relationships and swinging, where partners will team up with other couples (or even go their separate ways) to have new and fun sexual experiences with other people.

You also sometimes hear how this is essentially a recipe for disaster, but you’ve thought about it and it sounds like something you might want to try. Can an open relationship or swinging relationship ever actually work?

Can swinger and open relationships really work or are they just a recipe for disaster?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAihQhjXekM[/youtube]

Yes, for strong couples.

Open relationships and swinging can be a recipe for disaster, if you’re not a strong couple. If you haven’t been with your partner for very long or you or your partner have self esteem issues or tend to be the jealous type, open relationships and swinging is nothing but bad news.

If you and your partner have been together for a few years and are completely comfortable with each other, swinging together or fostering an open relationship might not be a bad idea – if it’s truly what you and your partner both want.

Good communication is key.

You definitely need to have a good, strong relationship to start swinging or having an open relationship but this isn’t all you need. You need to continue having a strong relationship and communicate with each other often during the swinging and after. Good communication is key to keeping any problems or issues that may arise at bay, or solving problems that come up.

It’s important that you can talk to your partner about what makes you comfortable and what makes you uncomfortable, and vice versa. Talk about what is okay for both you and the other partners who are coming into your relationship sexually, and talk about what is not okay and how to handle it.

The single most thing you can do to ensure that an open relationship or swinging doesn’t ruin your relationship with your partner is to talk to each other and then talk some more. In fact, don’t ever stop talking to each other! Keep the lines of communication open at all times.

When it starts to get rough . . .

If you notice that your open relationship is starting to take a toll on either you or your partner, it’s important that you speak up! It may be something you want to try but not continue to do, and that’s okay too. Make your thoughts and feelings about the situation known at all times so no one is left in the dark.

You have the right to decide that you no longer want an open relationship and your partner does too. If one or both of you decide to end the swinging, respect each other and end it appropriately. That doesn’t mean that you put it to bed. Talk about what you feel went “wrong” or what made you uncomfortable. Don’t let harsh feelings sit on the back burner just because your open relationship isn’t open anymore. You may end up harboring guilt or anger that will hurt your relationship in the long run.

Together, you and your partner can work out whether or not an open relationship or swinging is something that will work for you. Talk to each other about it and decide if it’s something you really want to do and if so, feel free to try it! Just remember, it’s all for fun and your actual relationship is with your partner.

So You Want To Be Swingers? Here’s How to Get Started

By gregsheryl

As experienced swingers, the most common question we receive from those looking to get into the lifestyle is, “How do we start?”

Where to look

Thanks to the internet, it is easier to become a swinger than ever before. As recently as the mid-1990’s, the most common way was by purchasing a contact magazine, usually at a seedy adult bookstore, and then mailing letters to the people who advertised therein.

Swing clubs have existed since the 1970’s, but the only way you could find out about them was by word of mouth or through advertisements in underground publications. Today, the road to becoming a swinger starts with the click of a mouse.

Whether you are looking for a classy swing club, a private house party, or a couple in your city, all of these things can be found on the internet. For those looking to dive right in, clubs and parties are the best way to meet a number of potential playmates on any given night.

For those who prefer a slower, more relaxed approach, your best bet is to place on ad on a swinger’s contact website such as our favorite, Adult Friend Finder. However, meeting people through on online ad requires a great amount of patience.

Swing clubs

Regarding swing clubs, if you live in a large city, you might have a choice between an on-premise club and an off-premise club. An on-premise club is where the sex actually takes place at the facility, whereas sex does not take place at an off-premise club. Off-premises clubs typically hold social events at hotel ballrooms, but those who want to play can usually rent a discounted guest room at that hotel. We usually recommend off-premise clubs to newbies who are worried about being pressured to have sex before they’re ready.

Clubs in your area can be found by utilizing your favorite search engine with the key words “swing clubs” along with the name of your home state or the nearest major city. That should lead you to a list a clubs with links to their websites. Check out those sites and see which one might be write for you. If you have any questions or concerns, don’t be afraid to call or email the club for additional information.

Private swing parties

Private swing parties are a little more difficult to find, because so many of them advertise through word-of mouth. For the most part, you won’t hear about these parties until you’ve worked you way into certain social circles. However, some of these parties are advertised online, often through Craigslist or social networking sites such as Yahoo! Groups. Also, some swingers contact websites have a listing of local parties in your area.

Types of swing parties

There are two basic types of private swing parties: the house party and the hotel party. Swinger house parties are held in private residences and operate just like vanilla house parties with one exception: if you happen to find someone you are attracted to, there is no shame in heading to a bedroom and having sex with that person. Swinger hotel parties are a little more hardcore. At some of them, you are expected to lose your clothes at the door. Because of this, house parties are a safer start for those just getting into the lifestyle.

Placing an advertisement on a contact website can be a time-consuming process, but it is a good alternative for those who don’t care for the large crowds and loud music which can be characteristic of clubs and parties.

Placing an ad online

The biggest challenge is putting together your online profile, which is your introduction to the rest of the swinging world. Your profile should be very specific in describing yourself and what you’re looking for. Ads with photos get better responses, so it’s best to also post some clear, recent pictures. If you are concerned about privacy, it’s acceptable to either use photos that don’t show your face, or to use photo editing software to remove your face from the pictures.

Furthermore, it’s very important that your profile be as honest as possible in your profile, because lying about your age, weight or endowment will not get you anywhere once the truth is revealed. Also, we recommend that you keep your profile sounding positive by listed the things you like rather than all the things you don’t like. A long list of dislikes makes you come across like a negative person.

Once your ad is placed

Once your profile is posted, take some time to browse through the other profiles to see if there is anyone who catches your eye. When it come to initiating contact, make sure you write to only those whose criteria you fit. Once you’ve established a correspondence, try to arrange a meeting fairly quickly so that you don’t get caught up in an endless cycle of emails.

It’s best to meet others for the first time in a public place for drinks or a snack so that you can get to know each other better and see if there’s any chemistry there. Some swingers enjoy playing on the first date, but if that’s not your desire, you can schedule a play date for later.

A warning

Be forewarned that there are a lot of advertisers on contact websites who are not truly serious about getting into the lifestyle. Thus, you will probably have to weed through a lot of these people just to find a potential playmate that is sincere. But with perseverance, you should be able to meet someone who is willing to introduce you into the lifestyle.

Also, regardless of what path you take to become a swinger, don’t be afraid to ask experienced swingers for tips and tricks on how to navigate the lifestyle waters. Swinging is not for everyone, but it can lead to a lifetime of fun for many of us.